*~BLUE~*

No Angel

By Dido

Thanks Lemon Drops

I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I want to be happy again.

She remembered when this used to be...right. She used to think that she could never be anything but what her Mother, Father, and older sister had in mind...someone like them.

Through your eyes everything's clear, and I'm home inside your arms.

Her mindset had changed. She had only wanted a glimpse, a tiny taste of what they were like. She had snuck out one warm August night to spy on the crowd of shabbily dressed newsboys and girls.

That's when she realized how wrong everything she thought she knew was. Never had she seen such smiles, such love and friendship. Then, he dragged her into his circle.

"What's ya name? You lost?" He had smiled. She wasn't too nicely arrayed herself, but still had a proper air to her.

"My name is Sally." She blushed at his bright gaze that was focused solely on her. "And you?"

"Me pals call me Blue." He extended a strong hand to her. That's how it started, you know, a simple handshake with a Brooklyn newsboy. She began living two seperate lives, stealing away from her home of tension to rest in her secret fellah's arms.

I know that I'm not perfect, but i can smile and I hope that you can see this heart beyond my tired eyes.

"What's a mattah, Sally?" Blue would ask occasionally, staring into her eyes. She didn't want to burden him with the day's activity. Lunch with academy friends who expected her to be the perfect lady, arguement with mother over the proper way to act at supper, never meeting the standards held over her by her sister's perfection.

If you tell me that I can't, I will, I'll try all night. I know I can be afraid, but I'm alive.

I'm no angel, but please don't think that I won't try.

"You can't do dis, Sally." He objected, caring so deeply for her that it burned his insides. "Dey might find out..." Sally knew deep inside that wasn't the only reason for pushing her kisses away that night. She was afraid, afraid of messing up, yet even more afraid of losing him.

"Blue, I'm ready." She lied innocently, "Let's do this." Blue, of course, believed his girl, wanting nothing more than for the light to come back to her eyes.

I'm no angel but please don't think that I won't cry. I'm no angel but please don't think that I won't fly.

Blue rocked Sally gently, tears slipping silently down her cheeks. How could this happen? They hadn't slept together that much. Why did Sally have to suffer?

"Please don't cry, baby." That's right, thought the young, frightened girl, there was a baby growing inside.

I know I'm not around each night, and I know I think I'm always right.

"I want let you do dis! You got a bettah life wit' dem!" Blue argued fruitlessly. "I'se tiahed of sharin' ya. You gotta tell dem da truth."

"The truth? Don't you understand, Blue?" She shook her head gently, "There are certain things that young ladies should just not do...Father....he would disown me."

"Den you could be wit' me wit'out havin' ta hide." He reasoned, "Dey's gonna stawt ta notice soon..."

"I know."

I want to flee from everything in front of me. I want to run, I want to leave. But this is life, and I have to let go to believe...