Well, I wasn't exactly planning on continuing this story, but I decided to
rise to the challenge (and it's a hard one) while listening to DC Talk.
Review ppllleeassee....
By the way, I wanted to put this at the beginning: I'm not sure if I shall continue or leave this story to end here. I feel that I have somewhere to go after this chapter, but I'm just not sure if I'll continue... any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks!
~Natalie~
"Consecrated to God" (Chapter 2)
The rain poured down heavily, almost as if appearing from nowhere. A child of God sat shattered on the cold concrete of a harsh world. There were times when many people had been led astray by mortal wounds.
She sat with a tattered soul, broken heart, and mangled dreams as tears rolled down her face, now masked with unrelenting force of unforeseen rain.
"Go to Hell, GOD." She spat under her breath. "Go to Hell."
Elizabeth: Consecrated to God. That was the meaning of her name. But the damaged woman sitting on the curb of a Chicago street didn't feel sacred to God. She felt unwanted, and betrayed.
"Why hast thou forsaken me?" She recalled the words said to have been spoken with an indignant nature. "He forsakes us all" She thought as she bowed her head down. "Every last one of us."
She had never felt so full of despair. She had always been one to believe in the Lord, but now, she was questioning his very existence. Tales of miracles, immaculate conceptions, everything in the damn book... or "Good Book"... and God couldn't spare a few minutes to save the love of her life.
What kind of merciful God was that?
She sat there crying on the curb, knowing that many people had heard her tirade, but, none of God's passionate followers (assuming there were any) cared enough to try and help. They had stared in awe, whispered to one another, then gone inside to take shelter from the rain.
"Where are the righteous ones God?" She asked under her breath. "Oh, that's right; you took the last damn one off of the planet."
This is what irked her so. There were many "sunshine Christians" as her mother had called him, but whenever their 'brethren' were in distress, they retreated into their shell.
It's all a bunch of bull shit. A bunch of Holy Shit. She thought, as she tried to wipe the tears away from her eyes.
"Excuse me, miss?" she heard a voice say.
She turned around to see a man standing soaked in the rain. "Yeah?" She asked, expecting him to ask her for a light, or a cigarette. "Look, I don't have a light, I don't have a cigarette, I don't have any drugs." She said as she shook her head and stared down at the ground.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that, but that's not why I came over."
"I'm not a prostitute either." She spat.
"Uh, well, that's also good to know, but nor is that the reason I decided to come over."
She looked at him incredulously "Then why, may I ask, did you come over?" she asked. "On second thought, I don't really care. Go away."
"I can't do that miss."
"Excuse me?"
"I said I can't do that."
"No, I heard what you said. Maybe I didn't make myself clear. Go. Away."
"And with all due respect miss, No." He sat down next to her.
She sighed. Unbelievable. Whatever, she wasn't going to talk to him.
He didn't say anything.
Neither did she.
The silence was uncomfortable for her, but for him, it was fine.
"Well..." she prompted, "Are you going to say anything."
"Nope." He said.
She looked at him disbelievingly.
Seeing her look he elaborated "It just seems like you could use some company."
"Well, SIR, with all due respect, I don't." She said as she started to walk away.
His words stopped her "Elizabeth, you do need some company."
She stared at him "How do you know my name?"
He chuckled "It's on your lab coat." She started to walk away. "Elizabeth, don't walk away."
She became angry again.
"And why should I not walk away? I don't even KNOW you."
"Nor do I know you. But, I know what you're feeling."
"Beg pardon?"
"I heard you a few minutes ago."
She rolled her eyes "Oh, so then that makes you a reverend trying to restore the faith of a lost believer? Well, reverend, it's no use."
"No," he said "I'm not a reverend."
She looked at him quizzically.
"I'm just a guy who's been there before."
"And the LORD helped you find your way. Amen" she said bitterly.
"Yes and no. Look Elizabeth, I've been there before, we've all been there before."
"And it's blind faith that has to lead us... blah blah blah, I've heard it all before."
"No, it's not blind faith. There's no such thing as blind faith. You know in your heart Elizabeth. YOU KNOW. Whatever you've been through, whatever's happened... happened for a reason."
The tears returned to her eyes. She was still angry "The hell it did." She stepped closer to him "Tell me, oh disciple of Christ, why did my husband have to die?? There is no logic in that. Why is my little girl going to grow up without a father? Where's the reason in that? I'll tell you where: It isn't. There is no reason or logic in that. IF there is a God, perhaps he's having a little game with me, huh? There is no bloody reason why I am a widow, why my little baby will never know her father. Perhaps it's all some cruel joke, huh?"
The man wasn't fazed "Did your husband believe in God?"
She was taken aback, that wasn't what she'd been expecting. She answered quietly "Yes."
"Look Elizabeth, I know how you feel, believe me, I've been there before. I've seen the dark side, I've questioned my faith, I've been angry with the Lord... but Elizabeth..." he said passionately "The Lord is my Shepherd. And he's yours too."
She rolled her eyes "Look, I've heard it all before. And you know what? I'm tired of God playing his little games with me, understand?"
"Yes, I do. I understand so much what you're feeling. But, even though you've turned away from him... he's still reaching out his hand."
Elizabeth smiled ruefully, "No, he's not. He pulled his hand away when I begged him to save my husband. He pulled his hand away when I begged him to let my little daughter know her father..."
"No Elizabeth. He's reached out to you during those times..."
She cut him off "Look, you still haven't told me WHY this happened! And maybe that's because that's the one question you Christians always shy away from! Because it's the one question you can't answer."
"You're a Christian too; you're a child of Christ. And I can answer your question."
"Well, sir, if I am a Child of Christ, it is not because I choose to be one. And if you can answer my bloody question, then answer it."
"You wouldn't like the answer."
"That's because there is none."
He looked deep in her eyes, knowingly, guiding her almost, trying to reach the depths of her soul "Because it was meant to Elizabeth."
She looked down, remembering something Mark had said to her previous to his death. He said that whatever happened was meant to be. She didn't believe it at the time... and she didn't want to believe it now...
But there was something inside of her that told her it was true. But she didn't want to recognize it.
The man suddenly embraced her in a hug, and although Elizabeth wanted to retreat, she couldn't. Something in her heart and in her soul wouldn't let her.
The man then released her and looked into her eyes "There is a reason, Elizabeth. And no matter when you decide to come back to the Lord, he will be waiting for you."
She couldn't say anything as the man disappeared around the corner. She stomped her foot on the ground as hard as she could. She didn't believe what the stranger had said. Well, she believed it, but she didn't want to.
She wanted nothing more than to be livid with God, with the "Omega" for all he had taken away from her. She wanted to hate him, she wanted to make him hurt like he made her hurt.
And her resolve was strong, it was not broken.
She leaned against the wall of a building, soaked to the core with rain and whispered again "Damn you."
She slid down the wall again as another moment of fleeting pain and ache came over her body, and she was once again wracked with sobs.
The words of the stranger played in her mind over and over again "There is a reason." But she was too angry and too grief-stricken to believe him, there wasn't a reason. There wasn't any logic, there wasn't any rhyme, there wasn't any reason....
And as far as she was concerned... there was no God.
The rain continued to pour down on the city as lights flickered on and off. Thunder sounded and lightning flashed as the world of one woman came tumbling down.
And God wept.
God wept of pain, of hurt, of anguish, for he felt every sensation as his child did.
And on a lonely night in the city of Chicago, a lonely broken woman retreated from an outstretched hand...
Elizabeth Corday walked solemnly into the ER...
...Soaked with God's Tears.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------
"(For the Lord thy God is a merciful God;) He will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them." Deuteronomy 4:31
~Natalie~
Review ppllleeassee....
By the way, I wanted to put this at the beginning: I'm not sure if I shall continue or leave this story to end here. I feel that I have somewhere to go after this chapter, but I'm just not sure if I'll continue... any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks!
~Natalie~
"Consecrated to God" (Chapter 2)
The rain poured down heavily, almost as if appearing from nowhere. A child of God sat shattered on the cold concrete of a harsh world. There were times when many people had been led astray by mortal wounds.
She sat with a tattered soul, broken heart, and mangled dreams as tears rolled down her face, now masked with unrelenting force of unforeseen rain.
"Go to Hell, GOD." She spat under her breath. "Go to Hell."
Elizabeth: Consecrated to God. That was the meaning of her name. But the damaged woman sitting on the curb of a Chicago street didn't feel sacred to God. She felt unwanted, and betrayed.
"Why hast thou forsaken me?" She recalled the words said to have been spoken with an indignant nature. "He forsakes us all" She thought as she bowed her head down. "Every last one of us."
She had never felt so full of despair. She had always been one to believe in the Lord, but now, she was questioning his very existence. Tales of miracles, immaculate conceptions, everything in the damn book... or "Good Book"... and God couldn't spare a few minutes to save the love of her life.
What kind of merciful God was that?
She sat there crying on the curb, knowing that many people had heard her tirade, but, none of God's passionate followers (assuming there were any) cared enough to try and help. They had stared in awe, whispered to one another, then gone inside to take shelter from the rain.
"Where are the righteous ones God?" She asked under her breath. "Oh, that's right; you took the last damn one off of the planet."
This is what irked her so. There were many "sunshine Christians" as her mother had called him, but whenever their 'brethren' were in distress, they retreated into their shell.
It's all a bunch of bull shit. A bunch of Holy Shit. She thought, as she tried to wipe the tears away from her eyes.
"Excuse me, miss?" she heard a voice say.
She turned around to see a man standing soaked in the rain. "Yeah?" She asked, expecting him to ask her for a light, or a cigarette. "Look, I don't have a light, I don't have a cigarette, I don't have any drugs." She said as she shook her head and stared down at the ground.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that, but that's not why I came over."
"I'm not a prostitute either." She spat.
"Uh, well, that's also good to know, but nor is that the reason I decided to come over."
She looked at him incredulously "Then why, may I ask, did you come over?" she asked. "On second thought, I don't really care. Go away."
"I can't do that miss."
"Excuse me?"
"I said I can't do that."
"No, I heard what you said. Maybe I didn't make myself clear. Go. Away."
"And with all due respect miss, No." He sat down next to her.
She sighed. Unbelievable. Whatever, she wasn't going to talk to him.
He didn't say anything.
Neither did she.
The silence was uncomfortable for her, but for him, it was fine.
"Well..." she prompted, "Are you going to say anything."
"Nope." He said.
She looked at him disbelievingly.
Seeing her look he elaborated "It just seems like you could use some company."
"Well, SIR, with all due respect, I don't." She said as she started to walk away.
His words stopped her "Elizabeth, you do need some company."
She stared at him "How do you know my name?"
He chuckled "It's on your lab coat." She started to walk away. "Elizabeth, don't walk away."
She became angry again.
"And why should I not walk away? I don't even KNOW you."
"Nor do I know you. But, I know what you're feeling."
"Beg pardon?"
"I heard you a few minutes ago."
She rolled her eyes "Oh, so then that makes you a reverend trying to restore the faith of a lost believer? Well, reverend, it's no use."
"No," he said "I'm not a reverend."
She looked at him quizzically.
"I'm just a guy who's been there before."
"And the LORD helped you find your way. Amen" she said bitterly.
"Yes and no. Look Elizabeth, I've been there before, we've all been there before."
"And it's blind faith that has to lead us... blah blah blah, I've heard it all before."
"No, it's not blind faith. There's no such thing as blind faith. You know in your heart Elizabeth. YOU KNOW. Whatever you've been through, whatever's happened... happened for a reason."
The tears returned to her eyes. She was still angry "The hell it did." She stepped closer to him "Tell me, oh disciple of Christ, why did my husband have to die?? There is no logic in that. Why is my little girl going to grow up without a father? Where's the reason in that? I'll tell you where: It isn't. There is no reason or logic in that. IF there is a God, perhaps he's having a little game with me, huh? There is no bloody reason why I am a widow, why my little baby will never know her father. Perhaps it's all some cruel joke, huh?"
The man wasn't fazed "Did your husband believe in God?"
She was taken aback, that wasn't what she'd been expecting. She answered quietly "Yes."
"Look Elizabeth, I know how you feel, believe me, I've been there before. I've seen the dark side, I've questioned my faith, I've been angry with the Lord... but Elizabeth..." he said passionately "The Lord is my Shepherd. And he's yours too."
She rolled her eyes "Look, I've heard it all before. And you know what? I'm tired of God playing his little games with me, understand?"
"Yes, I do. I understand so much what you're feeling. But, even though you've turned away from him... he's still reaching out his hand."
Elizabeth smiled ruefully, "No, he's not. He pulled his hand away when I begged him to save my husband. He pulled his hand away when I begged him to let my little daughter know her father..."
"No Elizabeth. He's reached out to you during those times..."
She cut him off "Look, you still haven't told me WHY this happened! And maybe that's because that's the one question you Christians always shy away from! Because it's the one question you can't answer."
"You're a Christian too; you're a child of Christ. And I can answer your question."
"Well, sir, if I am a Child of Christ, it is not because I choose to be one. And if you can answer my bloody question, then answer it."
"You wouldn't like the answer."
"That's because there is none."
He looked deep in her eyes, knowingly, guiding her almost, trying to reach the depths of her soul "Because it was meant to Elizabeth."
She looked down, remembering something Mark had said to her previous to his death. He said that whatever happened was meant to be. She didn't believe it at the time... and she didn't want to believe it now...
But there was something inside of her that told her it was true. But she didn't want to recognize it.
The man suddenly embraced her in a hug, and although Elizabeth wanted to retreat, she couldn't. Something in her heart and in her soul wouldn't let her.
The man then released her and looked into her eyes "There is a reason, Elizabeth. And no matter when you decide to come back to the Lord, he will be waiting for you."
She couldn't say anything as the man disappeared around the corner. She stomped her foot on the ground as hard as she could. She didn't believe what the stranger had said. Well, she believed it, but she didn't want to.
She wanted nothing more than to be livid with God, with the "Omega" for all he had taken away from her. She wanted to hate him, she wanted to make him hurt like he made her hurt.
And her resolve was strong, it was not broken.
She leaned against the wall of a building, soaked to the core with rain and whispered again "Damn you."
She slid down the wall again as another moment of fleeting pain and ache came over her body, and she was once again wracked with sobs.
The words of the stranger played in her mind over and over again "There is a reason." But she was too angry and too grief-stricken to believe him, there wasn't a reason. There wasn't any logic, there wasn't any rhyme, there wasn't any reason....
And as far as she was concerned... there was no God.
The rain continued to pour down on the city as lights flickered on and off. Thunder sounded and lightning flashed as the world of one woman came tumbling down.
And God wept.
God wept of pain, of hurt, of anguish, for he felt every sensation as his child did.
And on a lonely night in the city of Chicago, a lonely broken woman retreated from an outstretched hand...
Elizabeth Corday walked solemnly into the ER...
...Soaked with God's Tears.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------
"(For the Lord thy God is a merciful God;) He will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them." Deuteronomy 4:31
~Natalie~