Author's Note: I know Friday night is supposed to be the weekly update not Saturday afternoon… I was swamped with work all week and didn't even get a chance to look at it until last night. *sighs* I rushed out this chapter because I didn't want to have to make you guys wait until next week. Hopefully it's okay and not too odd or jumbled since most of this was written in a state of pure exhaustion. Oh well tell me how it is!
Anarchy-lust: Please understand that I was not bitching at your review in the slightest. I was merely explaining to you why I had it that way and apologizing to you. Again I will say this to you: I'm not trying to be stereotypical and if I have offended you in any way I am deeply sorry. Please continue to tell me what you think so I can adjust my writing accordingly. However, I can't just change what's already done. I'll be sure to tone down the obstruction of Pyro's speech but I can't completely change it or it will look very odd that he's suddenly talking different. Anyway, the next story I write will most definitely be different. Thank you for reviewing.
Thanks so very much for your guys reviews! Okay on with the story!
Veins of GlassBy Raven the Dark Angel
Chapter 5: Chaos Sea's Calm
Rogue held her head. This wasn't happening… Didn't she already have enough problems in her life? Now on top of all the crap she'd have to deal with the stupid playboy that couldn't take no for an answer. Why couldn't he just go bother someone else? She was so sure any single girl at the institute would drop to the floor and kiss his flirtatious feet for the tiniest morsel of his attention, including perfect Jean despite the man was an enemy. She could just hear her excuse of "but the professor said…" It was all enough to make her bolt the door shut in her room and dwell there forever.
"Ah, Rogue," the professor called her attention, "I'm glad you showed up here as well. I was meaning to get a hold of you sooner but some important paper work needed to be attended to."
"What do ya need?" she questioned throwing Remy's arm draped around her shoulder back at him as if it were some infectious disease.
"It's about the incident that occurred in the training facility."
Rogue cringed at the mere mention of the Danger Room. She just wanted desperately to forget all about what happened and block it from her mind completely like every other memory she kept. The images were still very fresh and clear and probably wouldn't blur and fade for a long while yet. If only she could speed up the process… If only she could forget everything and be stripped of her powers forever… and just lead the simple kind of life she always dreamed of…
"I want to address the other students about it," her mentor continued, "I've noticed they seemed to have distended themselves from you because of your powers. I can not have such behavior tolerated. I apologize for not getting around to this sooner, Rogue."
The girl blinked. Was he saying he actually cared…? He actually did pay attention to her and the behavior of others around her? Maybe he really was just busy all the time so he couldn't focus on her as much as he liked. But she thought he was scared of her as well… Maybe he still was… However his cause for helping anyone who was in need clouded all his reasoning. It was his life to help mutants with their powers and he could not look the other way when it came to her especially since she was so desperately in need compared to everyone else.
Xavier smiled at the two before him and held his hands to his temples as he sent out the telepathic message, "X-men I need everyone in my office immediately, I have some news and matters at hand that I'd like to discuss with all of you."
The man moaned as he slowly sat up in the white-walled room. He pushed his hair back and slowly opened his eyes and scanned the room taking notice of the surgical instruments strewn across the counter opposite of him. He placed his hand down on the rather stiff mattress. A hospital… had he just undergone an operation of some sort? But for what…?
So many questions racked his weary mind… he was so very tired. He needed to sleep… Slinking back down into the covers he closed his eyes.
The students hurriedly piled into the room all with shocked and questioning glances at the sight of one of their enemies sitting casually next to a seething Rogue.
"Now that everyone is here," Xavier announced, "I see that you've all taken note to our guest."
Remy smirked at the crowd enjoying their sudden hushed whispers and turned toward the girl next to him, whom simply huffed as she rocked one of her crossed legs.
"As some of you may know, Magneto has taken a leave of absence and left his Acolytes to fend for themselves. I can not see just leaving them to struggle, and I have taken it upon myself to offer the three boys a place to stay or anything else they need. I want you all to welcome Gambit and his team mates as if they were one of us."
"But professor!" Scott piped up however the elder lifted his hand to silence him.
"I understand your disapproval and hesitance toward these boys, but they are fellow mutants and I require your entire acceptance of them and like wise to Rogue."
The students suddenly grew quiet as a few lowered their heads. They all knew their behavior towards their teammate had completely changed ever since what happened so shortly ago. Who wouldn't be afraid of the girl? Especially since she confined herself to her room only to emerge and robotically carry out eating and bathing. The rude loud-mouth southerner who always voiced her blunt opinions had been replaced by an ominously quiet machine. Ever since what happened Rogue was simply not Rogue.
Sure the events had frightened them to the very core, but it was something they had experienced before. They all knew Rogue was a mutant potential to snap at any moment, but they all had forgotten about it. She had only lost control once… Only once, something so easy to slip from the mind after time. But now that it had come to the surface again, things were different. They were reminded of how dangerous she was and this time with damaging results. But more over than anything else, she didn't snap back to her old self. Rogue wasn't sighing at Kitty's incessant gossip or screaming at Jubes and Amara's pop music blaring from the rec room. She wasn't shoving Bobby aside at his usual prank or recite of a joke. She wasn't yelling in annoyance at the fact she couldn't grab a hold of Kurt because of his constant teleportation. She wasn't groaning at the sight of seeing Ray and Roberto arguing again or laughing right out loud at Sam tripping over or dropping something. She simply wasn't herself.
That very fact caught everyone off guard. They all knew something was terribly off and come to various conclusions. Had the psyches remained in control? Will they take over again? She had just attempted to kill herself just a few days before the incident… Was she really okay? They were all uncertain. And like the humans who feared them, they feared her because of their lack of understanding and knowledge.
Their silence after the professor's words displayed their guilt. Guilty because they knew they shouldn't have treated her the way they did. They shouldn't have made her feel like a complete freak, a monster because of her lack of control. They should know better since they had all been in her place amongst the mutant-haters.
"Do we all understand?" the professor questioned flitting his eyes across all his students yet lingering his gaze on Scott.
The leader of the kids adjusted his red glasses on his face and reluctantly nodded bringing a smile to Xavier's face. "Good," he responded, "You are all dismissed."
Rogue stood up as soon as the others shuffled out of the room. More than anything she wanted to get away from her former enemy. His radiant aura of his cocky attitude was starting to make her sick. She needed some time to herself, but first she needed to see Logan.
The whole time the professor prattled his little speech, she couldn't help but to think of him. Him laying in that bed with all those machines beeping around him, keeping track of his weak unsteady pulse. She knew the man hated hospitals. When he'd wake up he'd surely hold his breath in horror of his surroundings and suddenly calm down realizing he was in the institute. She wanted to be there when he woke up. She wanted to say how sorry she was for putting him through what she had and help sooth him that he wasn't back to being experimented on.
However a hand quickly caught her wrist once she stepped out of the office. She didn't have to turn to know who it was and instead of glancing at him at all she chose to stare at the wall in front of her.
The man came around to her side and flashed her a warm smile instead of his usual smirks. What was his problem?
"Hey chère, somet'in' wrong?" he questioned, his grip becoming gentler.
"Ain't nothin' wrong with meh!" she shot back as she whirled her face to his and narrowed her eyes causing the emerald depths to darken considerably.
Remy held up his hands in defense but before he could utter one word the girl sprinted down the hall.
"I see that you're awake," the man spoke softly as he stepped into the room.
The one in the bed opened his eyes at the sound of shoes clacking against the floor and an unfamiliar voice. He shifted his gaze to the left taking sight of a dark-haired doctor dawned in a while medical coat along with a stethoscope.
"How do you feel?" he questioned and approached the bed as he glanced at the clipboard in his hand.
"Exhausted…"
The doctor tilted his head to the side curiously watching his patient hold a hand to his head. "That is all?"
"Actually…" he trailed off now gazing at his hands. Young, perfect, strong hands. "I'm…where am I? Was I sick…? I can't seem to remember…"
"I would not call it sick," he simply stated as he wrote a few things down.
The man in the bed blinked a few moments as he searched his thoughts and memories for any reason to be here and where this place was… however as he kept trying to draw any conclusion he suddenly held his breath. His heart thumped his chest at a quickened pace when something very important dawned on him. He didn't know who he was.
Rogue's chest heaved up and down as her lungs burned, yet she completely ignored the pain and pushed open the infirmary door. She didn't know why exactly she ran like that. However it didn't matter. She was here now.
"Hi, Logan," she whispered to his motionless form. The girl pushed her self up on the side of the bed being very careful not to touch him, not fearing skin-to-skin contact but more out of not causing more harm to his physical aliments.
"Ah know Ah'm probably borin' ya by tellin' ya Ah'm sorry again. But Ah am." She spoke pinning her gaze to the tiled floor. Her throat suddenly became dry.
"Ah can feel yo' powah's slippin from meh. Ya'll should be wakin up in a day or two. Yo' probably gonna be mad."
She slowly strolled her eyes over to his closed ones. The man before her looked so peaceful, sleeping so very soundly. Usually if one could catch a rare glimpse of his resting form he held a furrowed pained expression, most likely out of a nightmare of his past. But now he would have looked completely relaxed if it weren't for his pale slightly damn skin and tubes that slipped down his throat and another attached to his nose which screamed of sickened trauma.
Her breathing halted as she chocked against the guilt.
"Ya should've let meh die, Logan," she managed to croak the words, "Then ya wouldn't be here now. Ah'm no good. Ah'm a curse. Ah can't stay around ya. What will it take for ya'll to understand that? Does one of ya need ta die before ya get it?"
She slowly clamped her eyes shut.
"Ah neveah wanted ta harm ya. It was the psyches… Ah'm so sorry. Ah wish Ah could control mahself. But Ah can't… Ah… Ah don't care what ya say or think, Logan. Ah know what Ah have ta do…"
A tear slithered down her cheek.
"Ah'm sorry…Ah really wish things could be different. But they ain't eveah gonna be, and its useless ta think they will."
She opened up the blade of her pocket knife.
There were a number of different things she could have done. A number of options. She could have stayed in the professor's office, snagged Kitty or even Kurt to the side and talked things over with them. She could have ran out of the mansion like she planned to earlier or even stalk up to her room and sleep as much as possible. However she found herself next to her closest friend contemplating suicide.
She gripped the handle on the blade tightly blanching her knuckles as she bared the pain. So much pain… but most of all the guilt at the fact she caused so much pain to others. She couldn't live like this. She didn't want to live like this.
A sudden intake of breath ripped her lungs as her scarf began to dampen at her moisturized anguish. This was her only real choice. Someday maybe everyone would understand why she had to do this. Logan despite the fact that she knew would be hurt the most would be the first to figure out the real reason for this. Out of selfishness they'd all claim. Perhaps partly… but it was more out of self sacrifice. Sacrifice to save them all from the horror she would unleash if she could never gain back control from the psyches.
This was to Kitty and her bubbly gossip, to Kurt and his happy smile, to Logan sneaking liquor in his coffee, to the younger students and their carefree attitudes, to Scott for his skills as a leader, and even to Jean for her perfect life. All lives that should be lived and never cut short because of a disgusting leach like her sucked them all dry of the wonderful future the all could possess.
"Goodbye," she mouthed the words and slowly lifted the blade only for it to be completely slapped out of her hand. She blinked watching in dazed confusion as the knife skidded across the floor. Rogue mechanically returned her gaze forward.
"What de hell, chère?!" Gambit shouted before her, "What's de matter wit' y'?!"
God no… why was he here? He should just stay out of this! He didn't have any idea of what was going on. He had no right to stop her from doing what simply must be done. It was her life or there's! As simple as that.
"Ah told ya nothin'!" She screamed trying her best to sound menacing but her shaky voice proved otherwise.
"Bull fucking shit!" he responded enunciating the words and tightly gripped her arms at the top of her long gloves "What's de matter?! Tell me now!"
Rogue sat in silence tearing her gaze away from him. His eyes were on fire with angry passion, but what did he care? She hardly knew the man at all. What was it his business?
"Answer me!" he demanded lifting her chin with his finger and thumb.
The girl before him glanced back into his eyes for a second only to look the other way. Any direction but his. She was tired of trying to explain to everyone why she couldn't possibly live. They all thought life was just some big happy time filled with fun and games. They didn't know what it was like feel the harsh stab of fate rolling the dice against them every time they turned around. She never had anything good come her way. Sure she was glad she met the people at the institute, but that had eventually morphed into something to be tortured by. Everything eventually would destroy her. Everything around her no matter which way she ran. Alone was the only way not to feel the guilt that tore her everyday, however alone would also destroy her as well. There was nothing she could do. No choice she could possibly make that could change that. This was her life. It never ended.
"Leave meh alone," Rogue requested trying to lean back away from his grasp. She didn't feel like being touched, yet Remy stepped forward and placed his hands on her face holding her tightly to look at him. Why did he insist upon the eye contact?
"Please chère," he purred barely audible as his fingers gently caressed her hair.
Her heart seemed to triple its pace as she found herself drawing breath after jagged breath. His palm slithered around her neck thrusting a harsh wave of shivers to assault her spine. He leaned his face towards her. So very close… She wanted to shut her eyes yet somehow she couldn't look away from his, as if she were trapped by him like a rattlesnake and his prey. What was he doing to her?
She managed to swallow the hard lump lodged deep in her throat when she realized something. Gambit had done this to her before… When she found him in her room and he asked her about her powers that day he pinned her against the wall and stared down at her while closing as much space around them as possible… but what the heck was he doing? Rogue sighed unwilling to stir the psyches too much but she had to figure out why. Then it dawned on her.
Back when she first met him she looked into his eyes. She found herself frozen unable to move completely mesmerized by his strange demonic red orbs that were almost dizzying to even glance at. He smirked triumphantly and handed her the king of hearts. She robotically took the card as he stepped back and flashed her his smug teeth again only to hold his hand up in a wave and spring behind him onto a crate. With the eye contact lost she blinked back to reality and flung the glowing paper watching it explode in mid air.
Was it some part of his power? Some kind of hypnotizing spell? She didn't know but now she was completely trapped by him once again. What did he want from her?
A new wave of tears splashed down her face. "Ah wanna die," she whispered, "Ah can't live. Ah'm not allowed ta…"
Remy furrowed his brow, "Why? Tell Remy what's wrong."
"The psyches… oh Gawd the psyches are killin' meh," she replied, "They're…" Moisture welled in her eyes blurring her vision. She could no longer see the man before her and quickly covered her face. "Get the fuck away from meh! It's none o' yo' business, swamp rat!"
Her head pounded. Everything ached. But more than anything she felt pissed off at herself for allowing whatever thing he did to her to take place. She would never look at him again as long as she lived. Those god damn eyes were Satan!
"Stop touchin' meh!" She growled drawing up her leg and kicking him square in the chest. Gambit backed up with a mixture of confusion and concern slammed across his face, however she didn't glance up to see it. Her green orbs fixated upon the ground.
"What'd ya do ta meh?!" She demanded fisting her hands. God she was so fucking angry right now she just needed to tear apart something, and right now that something was Remy LeBeau.
"Chère, Gambit jus' practicing a little o' his empathy powers, dat's all," he explained trying to sooth the girl before him. This never happened before. This wasn't supposed to happen, usually once he gained a hold of someone he could manipulate them fairly well, and not snap out of it until he allowed it. What had gone wrong? Remy smiled innocently as he back up against the wall and held his hands up as if to call a truce. As long as he remained within eye contact…
He watched the girl rip the wet stream off her face with her hand, and finally realized the tears must have obstructed her vision.
"Ah'm gonna kill ya swamp rat!" she screamed snatching his collar and drew a fist back ready to pound his face in any second.
"Alright, alright," he pleaded hastily, "Remy so sorry, chère! He never do it again! He promises!"
Rogue hesitantly lowered her arm and dragged her gloved fingers along the fold of his coat. She sniffed. Rubbing her eyes she lifted them to his face once again and relaxed seeing that he wasn't going to use whatever he used on her again. Well… at least for the time being.
"See?" he questioned.
However she wasn't paying attention to him at all anymore. Something far more important had now caught her attention. Her heart skipped a beat only to pound faster and make up for the loss in an instant. Her eyes slowly widened. My god…
"Hey chère-"
"Shh! Shut up!" she quickly hushed him. A tiny smile over took her features as she let out an incredulous sigh. She couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe it at all. She couldn't hear anything… nothing but the tiny beeping of the machines' in the room and the soft breathing of the man before her. Nothing but that… It was so quiet.
"Oh gawd!" she cried and clasped her arms around Remy uncaring that she was now hugging the man she hated the most. She ignored the wide-eyed shock spread across him and the sudden smirk as he wrapped his arms around her. Whatever was making her this thrilled was perfectly okay with him right now.
"Cajun! The psyches!" she exclaimed squeezing him tight with glee, "They're gone! They're gone!"
Author's Note: Wee something good for a change! So what do you think so far? I'm trying to put splashes of the under classmen in a little, but I have no real idea what they act like since I missed the episodes they were featured in. *sigh* I just glanced at some sights to get a little idea. Hopefully not too off, but if it is you know why. Anyway, next time the rest of the Acolytes come for a visit. What will Logan think of all this when he wakes up? Chaos ensues of course! Please review!