(Here it is! Another Lily view cause I like writing from her perspective. It doesn't have to be in character cause we don't know what she's like.)
"Lily," I heard a voice whisper through the shadows. I shook my head. No. "Lily... it's me..." the voice whispered directly into my ear. It was a haunting voice, echoing off the walls and hitting me right in the heart. A voice that pulled me by an unknown magnetic force deeper into a place where that voice was not allowed to linger.
Trespassing. That's what it was.
Reluctantly, I looked into the voice's face. Tears were streaming down it, slowly. They dried into ice before reaching his lips. His black hair was short and neat, just how I remembered it. His dark eyes so full of emotion in a place that had to forbid it. He smiled. Smiling was not allowed. Didn't he know what he was doing? I saw his smile in all different lights, as it twisted and turned, radiating like the gleam in his eyes.
He was so holy to me. A sacred and untouched topic. I was afraid to speak his name, for fear of tainting it. So beautiful and precious. "Sirius..." He nodded and touched my face, wiping away something. It couldn't have been a tear; I do not cry. This place that doesn't allow emotions has not allowed me to feel anything. So why was I so scared? Fear. I hardly remember it, but inside me it has ignited. I was trembling. His hand rested on my icy face.
He was still warm.
He was the cause of the fire. My fear was from him. With his hand on me I felt life spread through my spine.
I hated it.
"It's me, Lily," he smiled painfully. Don't smile. This isn't a place for happiness. Do you see bright lights? Fluffy clouds? What about a shiny golden gate? They don't exist. This is a place where we mourn for the living. That is all we do. He held my hands, "where's those green eyes?" His smile slithered slowly into a prominent frown, his own eyes slowly draining of their color as well. I wimpered.
"You can't be here..." I spoke in not even a whisper. His face held confusion and I spoke slower, "Please." That one word twisted his face and to see his color start to slowly fade was an electrical charge running within my system.
It felt good.
"You're dying," I muttered to him, bitterness in my voice overpowering the once stated fear. "You entered alive, and now you're dying. Go back to my son."
He didn't leave. He was fading more.
"LEAVE SIRIUS!"
He stood rooted to the spot. I felt my eyes glisten.
"My son," I cried to him. He came to embrace me and I stepped back, away from him, "Harry needs you." His eyes still held a little color. The big oblivion which I could stare for hours into, maybe days, or until the end of time. I love those eyes, and I hate to see them hurt.
Tears were streaming down the sides of his face, but maybe that's traces of my own.
He understood. I saw it inside of him, we were one. He turned to leave but I could not dettach myself from his side, or remove him from my heart. My brain. My thoughts. My mind. He was flowing inside of me, freely. My lips were telling him to move. Demanding him. But my heart was not in it.
"Harry needs me," he said. He couldn't leave. I had him under a spell, crazy time consuming witchery. I didn't brew a magic potion. It was love. Not the love I have for my husband, it was beyond that. He was my son's hero. My hero. I needed him here with me to provide me with traces of my son. My flesh and blood. He loved Harry. I need a system recharge; someone to refresh my memory, I need his love for my son.
They say love is the slowest form of suicide.
Then why the fuck won't Sirius die?
I'm split into two, between living and dead, black and white, love and hate. I want him alive to save my son. I want him dead, to stay with me.
I knew Harry needed him more. I knew Sirius needed Harry. Sirius couldn't live like me. He couldn't just watch through the blur on the wall; he couldn't become disillusioned like me.
I raised my head to look at him. To look into his living eyes, to tell him to leave. To go save my son. To help Harry through everything. To be the parent I cannot be. To be there to hear him breathe, to feel his heart beat.
But as I looked into his now stone cold face, all life was gone.
I was too late.
His face held no trace of sorrow or fear. It held no emotion. His eyes were blank as they tore into my insides, ripping me apart. How was I still allowed to feel? I still felt the fire inside of me, the flames burning into me. Acidic tears stung my eyes, my cheeks, and finally my lips.
And Sirius Black, my hero, came close to me and whispered, "How I love those green eyes."
"Lily," I heard a voice whisper through the shadows. I shook my head. No. "Lily... it's me..." the voice whispered directly into my ear. It was a haunting voice, echoing off the walls and hitting me right in the heart. A voice that pulled me by an unknown magnetic force deeper into a place where that voice was not allowed to linger.
Trespassing. That's what it was.
Reluctantly, I looked into the voice's face. Tears were streaming down it, slowly. They dried into ice before reaching his lips. His black hair was short and neat, just how I remembered it. His dark eyes so full of emotion in a place that had to forbid it. He smiled. Smiling was not allowed. Didn't he know what he was doing? I saw his smile in all different lights, as it twisted and turned, radiating like the gleam in his eyes.
He was so holy to me. A sacred and untouched topic. I was afraid to speak his name, for fear of tainting it. So beautiful and precious. "Sirius..." He nodded and touched my face, wiping away something. It couldn't have been a tear; I do not cry. This place that doesn't allow emotions has not allowed me to feel anything. So why was I so scared? Fear. I hardly remember it, but inside me it has ignited. I was trembling. His hand rested on my icy face.
He was still warm.
He was the cause of the fire. My fear was from him. With his hand on me I felt life spread through my spine.
I hated it.
"It's me, Lily," he smiled painfully. Don't smile. This isn't a place for happiness. Do you see bright lights? Fluffy clouds? What about a shiny golden gate? They don't exist. This is a place where we mourn for the living. That is all we do. He held my hands, "where's those green eyes?" His smile slithered slowly into a prominent frown, his own eyes slowly draining of their color as well. I wimpered.
"You can't be here..." I spoke in not even a whisper. His face held confusion and I spoke slower, "Please." That one word twisted his face and to see his color start to slowly fade was an electrical charge running within my system.
It felt good.
"You're dying," I muttered to him, bitterness in my voice overpowering the once stated fear. "You entered alive, and now you're dying. Go back to my son."
He didn't leave. He was fading more.
"LEAVE SIRIUS!"
He stood rooted to the spot. I felt my eyes glisten.
"My son," I cried to him. He came to embrace me and I stepped back, away from him, "Harry needs you." His eyes still held a little color. The big oblivion which I could stare for hours into, maybe days, or until the end of time. I love those eyes, and I hate to see them hurt.
Tears were streaming down the sides of his face, but maybe that's traces of my own.
He understood. I saw it inside of him, we were one. He turned to leave but I could not dettach myself from his side, or remove him from my heart. My brain. My thoughts. My mind. He was flowing inside of me, freely. My lips were telling him to move. Demanding him. But my heart was not in it.
"Harry needs me," he said. He couldn't leave. I had him under a spell, crazy time consuming witchery. I didn't brew a magic potion. It was love. Not the love I have for my husband, it was beyond that. He was my son's hero. My hero. I needed him here with me to provide me with traces of my son. My flesh and blood. He loved Harry. I need a system recharge; someone to refresh my memory, I need his love for my son.
They say love is the slowest form of suicide.
Then why the fuck won't Sirius die?
I'm split into two, between living and dead, black and white, love and hate. I want him alive to save my son. I want him dead, to stay with me.
I knew Harry needed him more. I knew Sirius needed Harry. Sirius couldn't live like me. He couldn't just watch through the blur on the wall; he couldn't become disillusioned like me.
I raised my head to look at him. To look into his living eyes, to tell him to leave. To go save my son. To help Harry through everything. To be the parent I cannot be. To be there to hear him breathe, to feel his heart beat.
But as I looked into his now stone cold face, all life was gone.
I was too late.
His face held no trace of sorrow or fear. It held no emotion. His eyes were blank as they tore into my insides, ripping me apart. How was I still allowed to feel? I still felt the fire inside of me, the flames burning into me. Acidic tears stung my eyes, my cheeks, and finally my lips.
And Sirius Black, my hero, came close to me and whispered, "How I love those green eyes."