Well, here's Chapter 2. Thank you for the review! I'm currently acting
under the theory that for every one review you get, three people couldn't
be bothered. It works. Oh, and Sam and Sybil are going fine, I'm just not
that good at writing in character.
Ah yes. I own nothing.
CHAPTER 2 - The Observers Introduced
"Lord and Lady Charles Selachii!" cried the Herald, in full voice.
"That makes twelve," murmured Commander Sir Duke Samuel Vimes of the City Watch.
Lord Havelock Vetinari, seated next to him at the side of the ballroom raised and eyebrow at the Commander.
Vimes clarified. "The twelfth Lord or Lady to be announced in order of rank." He eyed the rest of the room, filled with people talking or dancing happily, with a carefully judging eye. "Not counting the toadies and Guild representatives and things. But then, they were here before I arrived. And I was here three hours before the ball was due to start."
Vetinari smiled. "Some people seem to be positively terrified of being late to an engagement, don't you think, Commander?"
Vimes grinned wryly. "Quite." He scanned the room again. "Although I notice a quite conspicuous absence. One which, I am forced to admit, both does and doesn't surprise me. Captain Carrot generally isn't this late." He slid a glance at the Patrician. "And I know you invited him."
"Oh indeed. However, I believe the good Captain may currently be experiencing some carriage troubles, or something of the sort. Not that I can make anything more than a conjecture, of course."
"Of course. But, you know something, I've just realised that if Carrot comes any later, all the other nobles will have already come in. Which, funnily enough, would put him in a position where he'd outrank them all! Isn't that a funny thing?"
"Quite droll, Commander. Although I'm not sure that the other lords will appreciate your sense of humour."
"Perhaps not," Vimes was obviously enjoying himself tremendously, "but perhaps they won't even realise." He paused. "Oh, no, it looks like the heads of the Guild of Watchmakers and the Guild of Heralds have put two and two together. I do hope they don't - no, too late, it seems as though word is getting around. What a pity."
Vetinari looked at Vimes with slightly raised eyebrows. "Whenever you have calmed down, Commander."
Vimes waved his hand vaguely at the other man. "No no, don't mind me," he chuckled. "I know you won't anyway."
"Oh, I don't know, Commander. I think only a man with absolutely no pride could ignore you for very long." Vetinari paused. "I was going to point out, Commander, that the good Captain will have to be very late indeed in order to 'outrank', as you put it, your family. Who, I might add, you should be with."
Vimes shrugged. "I blame the lateness on Sam. He's at that age, you know. Won't be led, can't be pushed. Otherwise Sybil'd be here on time, as I'm sure you'd know. And of course, I would be there, helping, but she gets rather titchy when she thinks I'm interfering." He grinned. "Besides, I was interested to see whether Selachii and Rust and all them would just 'accidentally' turn up in order of rank the way they have the last five times."
Vetinari shot him a look. "I have no doubt that you could have quite easily found out from one of the other guests. And of course you would have had even more accurate knowledge if you had been with your family. You may be enjoying the show from where you are sitting, but you are missing out on a grand entrance by arriving early."
"Yeah, funny about that." The man's face was the picture of innocence. "Still, it couldn't really be helped. You know I just dropped by the palace a couple of hours ago to check in on something, then one thing led to another, and it got to the point where I figured I may as well just stick around seeing as the ball was starting so soon."
The Patrician's voice could have cracked rocks. "The spare clothes that just happened to be here were most fortuitous as well."
Vimes couldn't keep the grin in anymore. "Yep. Don't you just love it when things like that happen? Still, I reckon you had better luck with me than Carrot, hey?"
"I really don't know what you could be talking about, Commander."(1)
Vimes looked carefully at the man in black, then settled back into his chair, grinning contentedly. He'd definitely ruffled Vetinari's feathers. Yep. It wasn't everyday you got one up on the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork.(2)
(1)The first time Vetinari had attempted the 'ranking' game, Carrot, through sheer will-power, just arrived in front of Vimes and his family and had used a side-door to enter instead. The next day he had gone to see the Patrician about the 'mistake'. It was a tense meeting. Servants reported angry bouts of quiet, long periods of hush and many violent silences. One man was summoned for a brief time during the meeting, and the Guild of Loonies is finding him a quite interesting case.
(2) And survived.
Ah yes. I own nothing.
CHAPTER 2 - The Observers Introduced
"Lord and Lady Charles Selachii!" cried the Herald, in full voice.
"That makes twelve," murmured Commander Sir Duke Samuel Vimes of the City Watch.
Lord Havelock Vetinari, seated next to him at the side of the ballroom raised and eyebrow at the Commander.
Vimes clarified. "The twelfth Lord or Lady to be announced in order of rank." He eyed the rest of the room, filled with people talking or dancing happily, with a carefully judging eye. "Not counting the toadies and Guild representatives and things. But then, they were here before I arrived. And I was here three hours before the ball was due to start."
Vetinari smiled. "Some people seem to be positively terrified of being late to an engagement, don't you think, Commander?"
Vimes grinned wryly. "Quite." He scanned the room again. "Although I notice a quite conspicuous absence. One which, I am forced to admit, both does and doesn't surprise me. Captain Carrot generally isn't this late." He slid a glance at the Patrician. "And I know you invited him."
"Oh indeed. However, I believe the good Captain may currently be experiencing some carriage troubles, or something of the sort. Not that I can make anything more than a conjecture, of course."
"Of course. But, you know something, I've just realised that if Carrot comes any later, all the other nobles will have already come in. Which, funnily enough, would put him in a position where he'd outrank them all! Isn't that a funny thing?"
"Quite droll, Commander. Although I'm not sure that the other lords will appreciate your sense of humour."
"Perhaps not," Vimes was obviously enjoying himself tremendously, "but perhaps they won't even realise." He paused. "Oh, no, it looks like the heads of the Guild of Watchmakers and the Guild of Heralds have put two and two together. I do hope they don't - no, too late, it seems as though word is getting around. What a pity."
Vetinari looked at Vimes with slightly raised eyebrows. "Whenever you have calmed down, Commander."
Vimes waved his hand vaguely at the other man. "No no, don't mind me," he chuckled. "I know you won't anyway."
"Oh, I don't know, Commander. I think only a man with absolutely no pride could ignore you for very long." Vetinari paused. "I was going to point out, Commander, that the good Captain will have to be very late indeed in order to 'outrank', as you put it, your family. Who, I might add, you should be with."
Vimes shrugged. "I blame the lateness on Sam. He's at that age, you know. Won't be led, can't be pushed. Otherwise Sybil'd be here on time, as I'm sure you'd know. And of course, I would be there, helping, but she gets rather titchy when she thinks I'm interfering." He grinned. "Besides, I was interested to see whether Selachii and Rust and all them would just 'accidentally' turn up in order of rank the way they have the last five times."
Vetinari shot him a look. "I have no doubt that you could have quite easily found out from one of the other guests. And of course you would have had even more accurate knowledge if you had been with your family. You may be enjoying the show from where you are sitting, but you are missing out on a grand entrance by arriving early."
"Yeah, funny about that." The man's face was the picture of innocence. "Still, it couldn't really be helped. You know I just dropped by the palace a couple of hours ago to check in on something, then one thing led to another, and it got to the point where I figured I may as well just stick around seeing as the ball was starting so soon."
The Patrician's voice could have cracked rocks. "The spare clothes that just happened to be here were most fortuitous as well."
Vimes couldn't keep the grin in anymore. "Yep. Don't you just love it when things like that happen? Still, I reckon you had better luck with me than Carrot, hey?"
"I really don't know what you could be talking about, Commander."(1)
Vimes looked carefully at the man in black, then settled back into his chair, grinning contentedly. He'd definitely ruffled Vetinari's feathers. Yep. It wasn't everyday you got one up on the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork.(2)
(1)The first time Vetinari had attempted the 'ranking' game, Carrot, through sheer will-power, just arrived in front of Vimes and his family and had used a side-door to enter instead. The next day he had gone to see the Patrician about the 'mistake'. It was a tense meeting. Servants reported angry bouts of quiet, long periods of hush and many violent silences. One man was summoned for a brief time during the meeting, and the Guild of Loonies is finding him a quite interesting case.
(2) And survived.