Disclaimer: I do not own my mama's monster-truck size panties, I do not own the Olive Garden, I do not own Rion Vernon, or the TellyTubbies, or Ronald Reagan, or my orthodontist, or the sexy whale-trainer at SeaWorld in that tight rubber suit; I own nothing..but...my high cholesterol from eating too much junk food. +crams some chips into her mouth+
Where I left you off at: Harry had a sinking suspicion that Satan is gay, Satan and Harry were having a picnic, and Harry had second thoughts about going to hell with the Father of the UnderWorld.
Today, the odd pair of Harry and Lucifer Pansy Norwhich the 3rd, were in the den watching Sunday Night Football.
"Oh come on, you bitches! Catch the freakin ball, Marino!" Satan was standing up on his hooves, stamping the floor and on the verge of tears. Harry was sitting calmly in his chair, sipping some hot chocolate that Satan had fixed for him earlier.
"Damn it! Only one more yard to go, and the bastards fumbled the ball!" Satan roared like a rabid rhinoceros, and threw his hands up in the air. "I hereby now curse the Miama Dolphins, so they shall never make it to the SuperBowl again!" And if Satan said so, it would be done.
Harry shook his head. "I can't believe you just did that to my favorite team." He sat up straighter in the chair, and sat his mug aside on the coffee table. Satan turned to Harry, his red face a shade of purple.
"The bitches can't even catch the football if it's right in front of their faces!" Satan was yanking at his goatee with his hand. He pulled his fingers away, revealing a fistful of hair.
Harry grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. The screen went black with a "click". Satan pouted.
"Why did you do that? I was watching the game!" Harry sighed.
"I know, and you were getting too worked up over it." He stood up, and headed to the kitchen. Satan chased after him.
"Oh come on, let me watch the last three seconds, man!"
Harry calmly got some bread from the pantry, and started to spread some peanut butter on it with a spoon. Satan watched him, his breath heavy.
"No, Lucy. No more football for you tonight." He put the spoon in the sink, and headed to the fridge to fetch some jelly.
Satan sighed heavily, his head low, and he sat down at the kitchen table. Harry finished making the sandwich, and sat it on a plate. He carried it to Lucifer and sat it down at the table in front of him.
"Thanks." Satan said silently, taking a bite. Harry stared at him, and sat down at the table beside him. He had a phone in his hands.
"What's that for?" Satan asked, a mouthful of peanutbutter.
"I'm going to try and call Ron and Hermione, and tell them to meet up with me someplace so we can go over this whole "going to hell" thing." Harry started dialing up a number. Satan watched him curiously, chewing on the sandwich.
Harry put the phone up to his ear. It rang a few times, then someone picked up.
"Hello?" Said a voice. It was Hermione, and she was breathing heavy.
"Er, Herms? What are you doing?" Harry asked. Hermione made a 'phew' noise and continued breathing and panting.
"I'm watching a workout video." In the background, Harry could hear a faint "Now ladies, squeeze those glutes, and kick!"
"Uh, Hermione, I was wondering if you could"-
The phone went silent. Then she came back.
"Sorry, Harry. Dropped the phone while I was kicking."
"Um, well can you meet me sometime tomorrow at that little coffee shop down the street?"
"I guess. Is Ron coming?"
"Yeah, I have to call him next." Harry watched as Satan had finished with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and was licking the plate.
"Okay, Harry. I'll tr- Ow! Cramp!"
Harry hung up. Satan took the plate to the sink.
"So, any luck?" He asked, rinsing it with water.
"Yeah, Herms is going to meet me. I just have to call Ron next."
Where I left you off at: Harry had a sinking suspicion that Satan is gay, Satan and Harry were having a picnic, and Harry had second thoughts about going to hell with the Father of the UnderWorld.
Today, the odd pair of Harry and Lucifer Pansy Norwhich the 3rd, were in the den watching Sunday Night Football.
"Oh come on, you bitches! Catch the freakin ball, Marino!" Satan was standing up on his hooves, stamping the floor and on the verge of tears. Harry was sitting calmly in his chair, sipping some hot chocolate that Satan had fixed for him earlier.
"Damn it! Only one more yard to go, and the bastards fumbled the ball!" Satan roared like a rabid rhinoceros, and threw his hands up in the air. "I hereby now curse the Miama Dolphins, so they shall never make it to the SuperBowl again!" And if Satan said so, it would be done.
Harry shook his head. "I can't believe you just did that to my favorite team." He sat up straighter in the chair, and sat his mug aside on the coffee table. Satan turned to Harry, his red face a shade of purple.
"The bitches can't even catch the football if it's right in front of their faces!" Satan was yanking at his goatee with his hand. He pulled his fingers away, revealing a fistful of hair.
Harry grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. The screen went black with a "click". Satan pouted.
"Why did you do that? I was watching the game!" Harry sighed.
"I know, and you were getting too worked up over it." He stood up, and headed to the kitchen. Satan chased after him.
"Oh come on, let me watch the last three seconds, man!"
Harry calmly got some bread from the pantry, and started to spread some peanut butter on it with a spoon. Satan watched him, his breath heavy.
"No, Lucy. No more football for you tonight." He put the spoon in the sink, and headed to the fridge to fetch some jelly.
Satan sighed heavily, his head low, and he sat down at the kitchen table. Harry finished making the sandwich, and sat it on a plate. He carried it to Lucifer and sat it down at the table in front of him.
"Thanks." Satan said silently, taking a bite. Harry stared at him, and sat down at the table beside him. He had a phone in his hands.
"What's that for?" Satan asked, a mouthful of peanutbutter.
"I'm going to try and call Ron and Hermione, and tell them to meet up with me someplace so we can go over this whole "going to hell" thing." Harry started dialing up a number. Satan watched him curiously, chewing on the sandwich.
Harry put the phone up to his ear. It rang a few times, then someone picked up.
"Hello?" Said a voice. It was Hermione, and she was breathing heavy.
"Er, Herms? What are you doing?" Harry asked. Hermione made a 'phew' noise and continued breathing and panting.
"I'm watching a workout video." In the background, Harry could hear a faint "Now ladies, squeeze those glutes, and kick!"
"Uh, Hermione, I was wondering if you could"-
The phone went silent. Then she came back.
"Sorry, Harry. Dropped the phone while I was kicking."
"Um, well can you meet me sometime tomorrow at that little coffee shop down the street?"
"I guess. Is Ron coming?"
"Yeah, I have to call him next." Harry watched as Satan had finished with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and was licking the plate.
"Okay, Harry. I'll tr- Ow! Cramp!"
Harry hung up. Satan took the plate to the sink.
"So, any luck?" He asked, rinsing it with water.
"Yeah, Herms is going to meet me. I just have to call Ron next."