Harry Potter Meets Satan Chapter Ten
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, but I have J.K Rowling tied up under my stairs. Muah ha ha! She's my stupid bitch now!
Apology: Yet again, I have deprived you all of more chapters. I am so busy it's not even funny. But now is the chapter you all have been waiting for. This is one of the most important chapter in the story: For they are about ready to go to Hell. Read and enjoy, you angry mob of Jewish Housecats! +lights a random reader on fire+
~~
Harry slowly opened his eyes as the sunlight streamed into his room. After this day, he would not see sunlight again for a very long time.
"Oh, Harry! Rise and shine!" Satan chirped happily, walking into then room and opening up the blinds. Even more sunlight poured in and Harry's whole room was painted golden. Satan seemed in the best mood Harry had ever seen him in.
"Let me lay here for a few more minutes." Harry said drowsily. He looked at the clock. It was eleven o' five.
"Nuh uh, mister sleepy head! Remember what today is? You get to escort me, along with your dumb ass friends, back to my home! Then you get to stay and enjoy yourselves. I'm tellin' ya, Hell gets more vacation business than anywhere else." Satan walked over to the side of Harry's bed and began tugging at his arms, trying to yank him out of it.
"Ahh! Stop! Lemme stay in just a few more hours! I was having a good dream!" Harry squirmed and kicked. In reality, he just didn't want to go to Hell. He had never planned on going in his whole life.
Suddenly, Harry accidentally kicked Satan in the crotch. There was total silence, as Satan stood holding himself, stooped over, with his eyes crossed. Then he made a "Eee" noise and fell to the floor with a thump.
~
At breakfast, they had to eat quickly if they wanted to get a good start on the driving. Yes, to get to Hell you have to drive. And they were taking Satan's pimp-mobile. It was purple with pink flowers on it.
At the moment Harry was cramming his face with as much food as he could get a hold of. He didn't know what kind of food Hell had, and he was afraid that he might never eat again. Satan waddled into the kitchen, pressing a bag of ice to his crotch and opened the refrigerator.
"I see you've cleaned it out, Harry. You've eaten everything in sight this morning!" He closed the fridge and turned to him. "Have you packed?"
"Mmhmm." Harry mumbled, his mouth full of pancakes. He kept chewing and crammed in more. Satan watched him with an eyebrow raised. Soon, the doorbell rang which made Harry jump and food spewed out of his mouth.
"I'll get it!" Satan chimed, wiping off his hands on his apron and heading to the front door. Harry dropped his fork and streaked past him to get to it first. Harry unlocked the door and swung it open.
"Good morning, Mister Potter." Said the paperboy, holding out a rolled up newspaper to Harry. Harry sighed. He had hoped that it had been Hermione or Ron. Satan soon appeared beside Harry and put a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Is it your little friends? Oh, why hello there little boy." Satan asked, peering. The paperboy saw Satan and started to hyperventilate. He fumbled with the paper and backed away, on the verge of tears. " Fine then, don't talk to me. I'll be taking that, you little brat." Satan grabbed the paper out of the little boy's hands, and the kid took off crying.
"I think you should sort of not just walk out in public like it's normal. You're the Devil. You can't make conversation with my paperboy and stuff. I could get in trouble for having you at my house if that kid tells."-
"Relax, Harry." Satan said calmly while closing the door. He put the newspaper down on a small coffee table beside it. "Only you see who I really am. To other people, you know, anybody else, I'm just Bill Clinton. You're the only person who sees me with my horns and tail and all." Satan walked away.
"Well I wouldn't be able to tell the difference." Harry mumbled under his breath. "No wonder that kid was scared shitless." Harry followed Satan up the stairs. They walked into the bedroom where the suitcase was on the bed, packed full of clothes and ready to go.
"We need to get all our things together. It's five minutes until we leave. If those ass-heads don't show up soon we're going without them. I had only planned to bring you along anyway." Satan picked up the suitcase off the bed and handed it to Harry. Then he stood waiting in the doorway. "Let's go."
Harry turned and looked at his room one last time, and then turned to leave it for a long, long time. He would definitely miss this place.
~
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, but I have J.K Rowling tied up under my stairs. Muah ha ha! She's my stupid bitch now!
Apology: Yet again, I have deprived you all of more chapters. I am so busy it's not even funny. But now is the chapter you all have been waiting for. This is one of the most important chapter in the story: For they are about ready to go to Hell. Read and enjoy, you angry mob of Jewish Housecats! +lights a random reader on fire+
~~
Harry slowly opened his eyes as the sunlight streamed into his room. After this day, he would not see sunlight again for a very long time.
"Oh, Harry! Rise and shine!" Satan chirped happily, walking into then room and opening up the blinds. Even more sunlight poured in and Harry's whole room was painted golden. Satan seemed in the best mood Harry had ever seen him in.
"Let me lay here for a few more minutes." Harry said drowsily. He looked at the clock. It was eleven o' five.
"Nuh uh, mister sleepy head! Remember what today is? You get to escort me, along with your dumb ass friends, back to my home! Then you get to stay and enjoy yourselves. I'm tellin' ya, Hell gets more vacation business than anywhere else." Satan walked over to the side of Harry's bed and began tugging at his arms, trying to yank him out of it.
"Ahh! Stop! Lemme stay in just a few more hours! I was having a good dream!" Harry squirmed and kicked. In reality, he just didn't want to go to Hell. He had never planned on going in his whole life.
Suddenly, Harry accidentally kicked Satan in the crotch. There was total silence, as Satan stood holding himself, stooped over, with his eyes crossed. Then he made a "Eee" noise and fell to the floor with a thump.
~
At breakfast, they had to eat quickly if they wanted to get a good start on the driving. Yes, to get to Hell you have to drive. And they were taking Satan's pimp-mobile. It was purple with pink flowers on it.
At the moment Harry was cramming his face with as much food as he could get a hold of. He didn't know what kind of food Hell had, and he was afraid that he might never eat again. Satan waddled into the kitchen, pressing a bag of ice to his crotch and opened the refrigerator.
"I see you've cleaned it out, Harry. You've eaten everything in sight this morning!" He closed the fridge and turned to him. "Have you packed?"
"Mmhmm." Harry mumbled, his mouth full of pancakes. He kept chewing and crammed in more. Satan watched him with an eyebrow raised. Soon, the doorbell rang which made Harry jump and food spewed out of his mouth.
"I'll get it!" Satan chimed, wiping off his hands on his apron and heading to the front door. Harry dropped his fork and streaked past him to get to it first. Harry unlocked the door and swung it open.
"Good morning, Mister Potter." Said the paperboy, holding out a rolled up newspaper to Harry. Harry sighed. He had hoped that it had been Hermione or Ron. Satan soon appeared beside Harry and put a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Is it your little friends? Oh, why hello there little boy." Satan asked, peering. The paperboy saw Satan and started to hyperventilate. He fumbled with the paper and backed away, on the verge of tears. " Fine then, don't talk to me. I'll be taking that, you little brat." Satan grabbed the paper out of the little boy's hands, and the kid took off crying.
"I think you should sort of not just walk out in public like it's normal. You're the Devil. You can't make conversation with my paperboy and stuff. I could get in trouble for having you at my house if that kid tells."-
"Relax, Harry." Satan said calmly while closing the door. He put the newspaper down on a small coffee table beside it. "Only you see who I really am. To other people, you know, anybody else, I'm just Bill Clinton. You're the only person who sees me with my horns and tail and all." Satan walked away.
"Well I wouldn't be able to tell the difference." Harry mumbled under his breath. "No wonder that kid was scared shitless." Harry followed Satan up the stairs. They walked into the bedroom where the suitcase was on the bed, packed full of clothes and ready to go.
"We need to get all our things together. It's five minutes until we leave. If those ass-heads don't show up soon we're going without them. I had only planned to bring you along anyway." Satan picked up the suitcase off the bed and handed it to Harry. Then he stood waiting in the doorway. "Let's go."
Harry turned and looked at his room one last time, and then turned to leave it for a long, long time. He would definitely miss this place.
~