Author's notes: In case anyone wants to know, for the duration of this story, Monday's going to be the update day, and I guarantee I will post a new chapter every week. Thanks to my reviewers, I'm writing this for all of you (although I do enjoy reading it myself as well).

As far as this chapter goes, consider my first two a warm-up, as this chapter is almost as long as the first two put together. I've got some more things to say but I'll let you read this first.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold!, but neither does Craig, so who am I to complain?

Arnold wandered along the racks of bowling balls, trying to find something that fit. Hmm, here's the one I always used last year. Nope, too small. He found one next to it that fit, but seemed too light. He glanced at the weight. Ten pounds? He moved down the line and found a twelve-pounder. Great, now the holes are too big. He kept searching.

Meanwhile, Gerald spoke with the girl Arnold brought along. "So why did you of all people decide to come with him?"

"Well, you know, he just kind of asked me as I was walking out of class, and I didn't have anything better to do after school."

Gerald gave the girl the same questioning look he had earlier when Arnold got on the bus with her. Of all the people, he kept thinking to himself.

Phoebe came walking in the front entrance with her companion. "You know, I really don't think it's such a good idea for you to be here. I mean, Gerald made it sound like this was kind of a…you know…"

"Quit worrying about it, Pheebs. Besides, I don't have to bowl; I can just hang out in the arcade in the corner over there. I didn't really feel much like bowling anyway…"

Helga trailed off as she caught sight of Gerald and Arnold. She was about to go off into another trance when someone else stood up next to them and came into her sight. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"What is it, Helga?"

"Oh, nothing, Pheebs. Look, I'm itching for some old school action, I'm gonna hit the Frogger machine." With that, Helga took off towards the corner of the bowling alley.

"Hey, Phoebe," the three of them spoke collectively.

"Hello, Gerald, Arnold, Lila."

"Well, now that we're all here I'm ever so ready to begin."

"I'll just put the names in and we'll get going then."

Arnold entered the names into the computer, then stood up and went over to Lila to ask her if she wanted him to help her bowl. Gerald didn't show it at the time, but he was taking pity on Arnold. Why does he keep pursuing this girl? I mean, I know it's Arnold, but how dense can someone be? It's so obvious she has no interest in him that it's painful to watch. Sorry, buddy, I guess the only way you'll figure it out is with time.

Helga slowly crept along, using the tables behind the lanes for cover. She reached a certain table, peeked around and was satisfied with her vantage point.

"Arnold, what a dweeb! What an unbelievably dense boob! Even after a year of chasing this girl with no success, he's still lapping at her feet! Get a clue, Football Head, you're chasing the White Whale, you're searching for Atlantis, you're trying to find the diamond in the rough. There's nothing there!" A pause, and she changed her tone. "But who am I to talk? I'm the one who's crawling around under food tables at a bowling alley to spy on him. Hey, wait a minute…"

She reached her hand up onto the table and felt around. Nothing…nothing…aha! Her hand landed in something warm and sticky. Could it be…yes! Nachos! She pulled them under the table and started eating.

"Hey, Gerald, have they brought our food yet?"

"I don't know, let me check."

Gerald walked over to the table behind their lane and looked over the food that had just arrived. "Let's see, we've got French fries, Buffalo wings, chicken strips, sodas…hey, everything's here except for the nachos."

Helga froze in mid-chew.

"Don't worry about it, Gerald. I'm sure they're bringing them any minute." Phoebe joined Gerald at the table. He shrugged them off at Phoebe's remark and sat down with her.

As they made themselves comfortable, Helga began to panic. Her pigtails were inches from both of them, and to top things off, Gerald's shoe had Helga's dress pinned to the floor. Think, Helga, think!

"That's it. Keep your shoulder up. Remember, push the ball out on your first step… bend your knee… okay, now follow through!"

It was all Lila could do to stay on her feet. She stumbled and almost fell down as she let the ball go, putting it directly into the gutter. Frustrated, she turned and walked off the approach as Arnold continued his coaching spiel. "That's okay, we can work on that, we just need to do one thing at a—"

"Look, Arnold, if it's not too much trouble, could I just bowl the way I want?"

"Sure, if you want, Lila. I was just trying to help."

"I know, Arnold. But I'm not trying to go pro here or anything. You don't have to always try so hard and help me."

Before Arnold could answer, she picked her ball up, walked up to the foul line, set the ball down and rolled it granny-style. The ball worked its way slowly down the lane, and when it eventually made it, all ten pins fell down for a spare. Gerald and Phoebe applauded from their table, while Arnold stood embarrassed. Lila walked past him with a somewhat smug smile and joined the others at the table. Arnold forced a smile out in return, and went to get a bite as well.

Criminy, now they're all over here! What do I have to do to get some privacy? Helga glanced around, being careful of her every move. Gerald and Phoebe had shifted their legs, so Helga was free to move, to a small extent. The tables at the bowling alley were all round, and instead of four separate legs, they had one leg in the middle with a wide base for support. Helga wrapped herself around the leg to stay as far away from everyone as possible. With Lila and Arnold at the table as well, Helga was surrounded.

Why are all four of them over here? Shouldn't one of them be bowling right now? She kept looking around for an opening, anything. Her eyes passed over Arnold's legs. Hmm, come to think of it, I've never really noticed his legs before. She gave herself a quick slap. Don't even start down that road right now, you need to stay alert!

Lila tried to keep the conversation at the table interesting. "So, how long have you two been…you know…"

Phoebe and Gerald both stuttered in a failed attempt to respond. "Well, you know, we haven't exactly been going out, you know? I mean it's not like we're a couple or anything, you know? I mean…you know?"

"Is something wrong, Gerald?"

Gerald's embarrassment was painfully obvious; his dark skin tone did nothing to cover up his blushing. "No, Phoebe, everything's fine, I'm just going to go check on those nachos real quick." With that he bolted from the table.

"I'm ever so sorry, Phoebe. I didn't know you guys weren't—"

"No, Lila, I actually appreciate that. Gerald always has a hard time admitting how he feels about me. He thinks he has to act cool and never talk about it, so I like it when someone shakes him up."

Arnold kept his eyes down at the food while the girls talked about Gerald. At least some people can get who they want around here, he thought in reference to his best bud. Just wish I could get Lila to be the same way. But then something startled him from his thoughts. "Did one of you just kick me?"

"I'm ever so certain I didn't Arnold."

Phoebe denied as well with a shake of her head.

"Well, something hit me."

"Well, it wasn't one of us—hey, what'd you do that for?"

"What? I didn't kick you, Phoebe."

"Arnold, you accused us of kicking, and we didn't, so don't kick us back."

"But I didn't—"

"Look, I'm ever so sure this is all just a little mix-up—hey, now who kicked me?"

The three of them began arguing amongst themselves. Worked like a charm, thought Helga as she scurried through the opening where Gerald had been sitting. Old Betsy had the force of a kick behind her blows, no doubt about it. Safely under an adjacent table, she went back to work on the nachos.

Gerald came back to a dead silent table. "Geez, what happened here?"

"I was just getting up to bowl." Arnold headed down onto the lane. Still bitter about the argument, his concentration wasn't at its best. He picked up the ball and went to begin his approach. The ball slipped off his hand in his backswing and landed behind him with a loud thud. The table broke out in laughter, Gerald the loudest as the girls tried to control their giggling. Underneath the adjacent table, it was all Helga could do to keep her sides from splitting.

"Hey, the holes are too big! And I've got some grease on my fingers from the fries!" Arnold picked the ball up and chucked it onto the lane. It veered right and barely caught the tenpin on its way to the gutter.

"Arnold, don't worry about it!" as Gerald fought back the laughing. "I mean it's not like the object of the game is to actually hit the pins!" Void of any more insults, Gerald trailed off as he went into another fit of laughter. Phoebe and Lila held back their giggles, but it was still apparent they were enjoying the show as much as Gerald.

Helga, however, had reached her limit. She was holding her hands over her mouth, trying with all her will not to break her cover with a loud guffaw. I've got to get away from here; this is too much! She slipped out from under the table and tried to walk away unnoticed.

"Oh, why hello, Helga!" Lila had spotted Helga walking away.

Okay, Helga, play it cool. Just think of something. "Oh, hey Lila, Pheebs, Tall Hair Boy."

Gerald saw what Helga was holding as she turned to face them. "Hey, where'd you get the nachos?"

"What, these?" Quick, excuse! "Uh, I was just bringing them over to you. Here you go." She set the nachos down in front of Gerald.

"'Bringing them to me?' Why are you bringing me my nachos?"

"Uh…" Great excuse, Helga, now cover for it! "I brought them to you 'cause I work here, doi!"

"You work here? Who hires a ten-year-old girl to serve food at a bowling alley?"

"Okay, so I don't "work" here, per say, I just kind of come in and help out when they're busy."

Gerald glanced around at that comment and couldn't count more than ten other people in the building. He was about to continue his line of questioning when Helga bolted for the kitchen. She ducked in and checked to see if they were still looking. They had already gone back to chatting.

"Geez, one minute they're putting me though questioning, and the next they forget they were even talking to me! What a bunch of idiots! And especially Arnold, he's shooting himself in the foot with Lila. He's trying so hard, and nothing ever works! What a poor sap, what a maroon!" Normally this would have been followed by a change of tone and the standard "and yet," but the laughter came back. It was the most pathetic display she'd seen in quite some time. She headed back to the arcade, chuckling as she went.

Arnold was up again. They were in the middle of the third game, and Lila was ruling the day with the granny ball. She had just fallen short of 200 in her first two games, and looked to be on track for it yet again. Gerald and Phoebe weren't quite as good, but on the other hand didn't compare to Arnold. He had shot 65 twice at this point, and was, needless to say, not in the best of moods. Unable to shake frustration, he went to the line and hurled the ball down the lane as hard as he could. The ball went straight up the middle of the lane and smashed through the pins leaving a 7-10 split.

"Man, Arnold, the Devil's Bed Posts! What's wrong with you today?"

Arnold frowned at Gerald as he caught sight of Lila at the table still talking to Phoebe. She's not even watching me. Why'd she come if all she was just going to sit and talk to someone else?

Helga was again watching, this time from behind the front desk. "Boy, he really looks miserable." She wanted to have another laugh at his expense, but for some reason she couldn't. "I enjoy seeing people in agony as much as the next person, why am I not laughing?" She watched him go up and toss the ball at the impossible split. The ball rolled toward the left side and fell into the gutter. She sighed as a depressed look came over her face, resembling that of Arnold's at the moment.

"If I'm not laughing at him, something's wrong. It's just not right, he shouldn't be like this." Helga then glared at Lila. "It's all because of her. She's got him on a leash and now she's yanking on it, tearing him up on the inside in ways I can only imagine." She stood up tall. "I can't let her do this to him! I must release him from her evil clutches!"

"Hey, kid! Get outta here!"

Helga jumped as the manager came back to the desk. She smiled at him apologetically and headed toward the front of the building. She glanced over her shoulder and saw the foursome walking back to the desk with their shoes. Catching another glimpse of Arnold, she went outside and hid around a corner.

"Okay, let's plan this out for once. I'll tail the four of them, and as soon as the other three are gone, I'll just walk up and bump into him like I always do and take it from there."

The doors opened as she finished planning out her moves. The four came within an audible distance.

"Well, that was ever so much fun."

"Yeah, I'll bet you had a good time. 218, how'd you do that?"

"Oh, it was nothing, Gerald. I just did what felt comfortable to me."

"Yeah, sure. Hey, who's up for Slausen's?"

"I'd like to, Gerald, but I really need to be getting home."

Gerald nodded at Lila's answer and turned to Phoebe. "Well, I'm up for it, Gerald. I have no plans."

Another nod, accompanied by a smile. He then turned to Arnold, who was staring at the ground. "What do you say, buddy?"

"Huh? Oh, I think I'll pass."

"Well, okay, I guess. See you later, then." Gerald extended his hand for their secret handshake, but Arnold had already begun walking away. "Man, I don't remember the last time he was like this."

"What ever do you mean?"

"Come on, Lila. Even you know that Arnold's got a reputation for being Mr. Optimism, always smiling and looking on the bright side no matter how bad things get for him."

"That doesn't mean he never gets upset, does it?"

"I have to agree with Gerald on this one, Lila. I don't ever remember him being this down. That's not to say he never gets upset, but he usually doesn't let it drag him down to the extent we've seen today."

"Gee, you think maybe one of us should go talk to him?"

Gerald and Phoebe glanced at each other at Lila's suggestion. Neither of them wanted to talk to him, and they both knew it probably wasn't a good idea to send Lila after him for consolation. Gerald turned to Lila to decline, and saw the worried look in her eyes. You know, she looks like she's actually concerned about him. Gerald changed his mind, hoping that things wouldn't backfire. "That sounds like a good idea. Why don't you go and talk to him, Lila, see if you can bring him around?"

"Okay, I'll try. I'll see you guys later!" With that, Lila followed after Arnold, who was about a block ahead of her. Phoebe and Gerald turned and walked in the opposite direction towards the ice cream shop.

"Gerald, I don't think that was a good idea. I think we should have given Arnold some space."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, but I thought she was worth a shot."

Arnold was about a block from the bowling alley. He walked with his hands in his pockets and his head down; as was the case, he didn't catch sight of the pink bow sticking out at the next corner.

"There he is, Football Head at 1:00. Now, as soon as he gets close enough, I'll step out and run into him like I always do." Helga was ready to put her plan into action when she spotted someone running up behind Arnold. "I swear, of all the people!" She ducked in a corner store as Arnold came passing by.

"Arnold! Arnold, can I talk to you?"

He glanced at Lila, then back at the ground. "Lila, I really don't feel like talking right now."

"Please, Arnold, I can tell something's bothering you."

How did you ever guess? At least now she's paying attention to me.

"Look, Arnold, my house is just a couple of blocks away. Why don't you walk there with me and tell me all about it?"

"Fine." They crossed the street and headed toward Lila's house. "So did Gerald and Phoebe send you over here or something?"

"Well, I suggested one of us go—"

"So they sent you." He went silent again, dragging his feet as he walked.

"Arnold, was it something I did?"

After another brief pause, he began. "Actually, yeah, you had a big part in it, Lila. I mean, I invited you to come along with us today, and you ignored me the whole time. You just sat and talked with Gerald and Phoebe. On top of that, you go and embarrass me when I'm trying to help you improve your form, and laugh at me every time I screw up. And—"

"Wait, slow down, Arnold, I think you've got things a bit mixed up. I wasn't trying to ignore you; you kept sulking around because you weren't bowling well, so I figured I'd give you some space."

"Yeah, thanks for all the space while you were laughing at me."

"I'm ever so sorry, Arnold, but you did look pretty ridiculous up there, chucking the ball as hard as you could into the gutter."

"At least I wasn't bowling like an old lady!"

"Excuse me? I told you, that's just how I bowl! The scores speak for themselves, Arnold!"

"Still, you didn't have to make me feel like I was wasting my time on you!"

"Since when were you 'wasting your time' on me? Did you think this was some kind of date?"

"To be honest, I kinda did."

"Arnold, need I remind you—"

He knew what was coming, and cut her off as he further raised the tone of his voice. "Save your breath, I know! You don't like me like me; you just like me. I still don't get it, Lila! Can't you tell that I like you like you?"

"Arnold, I know that, but it doesn't matter how you feel about me, the fact remains that I don't like you like you, end of story!"

"But Lila—"

"Look, maybe we should keep a safe distance from each other for a while, okay? Goodbye, Arnold." With that, she stepped into her house and slammed the door in his face.

More author's notes: First off, I am not a Lila-hater! I will admit, however, that I do spend most of the time telling the story from Helga's point of view, so you can call me a Helga-lover if you like.

I'm almost done with chapter four, and don't worry, it picks up right where this chapter left off. Be sure to check back in a week and thanks for reading.