Excerpt from the fifth Kaeda, required reading for sheikahs training for priesthood...
...When the creatures of the world were made, each god took some part. The animals, the plants, and also the forest people, the Scrubs and the Kokiri, belong to Farore. They are childlike. The Zoras and the Hylians belong to Nayru. The Zora are the water people, and have forms like fishes; the Hylian are of a form not unlike ours, and love the plains of the south. They are wise, and are great allies. The Gerudo and the Goron peoples belong to Din. The Gerudo have very few sons, and love the deserts of the west. They are dark-skinned, with ears that curve. The Goron are of large form, and possess great strength. They love the mountains. The Subrosians and the Sheikah belong to the god. The Subrosian people are a people of darkness, and are seldom seen. They love the caverns beneath the ground. The Sheikah are the people of shadows, and of all the peoples, we alone move by night. We claim the highlands of the north as our home. Treat your people well, for they are your sisters and your brothers. Treat the other peoples well, for they are your cousins. Revere the gods, for they gave you form. Love the Giants, for they give us life. Most of all, young one, love the One, for the One is all things...
...When offering sacrifice or performing a rite of bonding, such as the blood rite, it is best to do so when Var's Eye is open. The night on which it is fully open is best. When praying or performing a blessing, it is best to do so when Var's Eye is closed or closing. When the eye is shut the ear is finer...
...Priests and priestesses do not form kyms, instead they bond by blood. A tie by blood is strong, and such is needed in the absence of a kym. The rite is performed only by night. A clean knife makes a small cut in the skin above the heart. With one's blood, a drop is painted on the brow of the other. One's blood is also drunk in a small amount by the other. There is no prayer. The blood of Raj was shed without ceremony. Do not make the bond lightly, young one, lest it burden you...
...When praying, pray alone. Praying in company creates confusion. Prayer can be done in dwellings or without, and during the day as well as the night. The recitation of mantras, the singing of the higher songs, and the speech of the spirit are all good prayer. Never pray for the harm of another, young one, for that is praying against the gods, the Giants, and the One...
...When the world was made, the spirits of the Giants were rent from their bodies by the gods, and so the Giants sleep. The spirits of the Giants are held in the forms of people, and mortal lives are as dreams. One spirit is held in the form of a Sheikah, one in the form of a Gerudo, two in the form of Hylians. No spirit takes the form of a child of Farore, for she loved the Giants, and will not enslave them. The forms of the Spirits are mortal, and pass through rebirth as all others do. The Spirits are reborn alike each life; other people are reborn different in gender, in race, and in species. Aside from the mortal form, the Spirits also have immortal Shadows...
End excerpt.
Excerpt from the Goddessian scripture, near the front (before all the boring passages about the measurements of such-and-such temple and five-page-long lists of names)...
...And, lo, the peoples of the world were made, some to wander the fields and others to dwell in the rivers, and the Goddess Nayru spake from the heavens unto them, and these were Her laws for the peoples:
Murder not. Steal not. Commit not adultery. Worship not the Dark One. Be tempted not by the four devils...
The devil of the wind shall cloud thy sight and dim thy mind, she shall maketh thee neglectful and sorrowful. She shall leadeth thee away from the Goddesses with sadness. The devil of fire shall sharpen thy mind overmuch, he shall maketh thee to scoff and jeer at the laws of the Goddesses. He shall coax thee away with laughter. The devil of earth shall stir thy heart with unnatural love. He shall maketh thee to spurn the Goddesses and grow detestable in Their sight. He shall lure thee away with caresses. The devil of water shall make thee numb and cold. He shall deaden thy senses and harden thy heart against the Goddesses. He shall drive thee away with force. Be ever vigilant, for the devils hate the Goddesses, and wait to ensnare Their children.
Live at peace with the people of the waters, the people of the mountains, and the people of the forest, for they are good and righteous in the sight of the Goddesses. Beware the people of the desert, for their loyalty is passing as the winter snow. Love not the Shadow people who walk by night, for they are people of the Dark One, and are detestable to the Goddesses.
End excerpt.
Ruto Park, at the edge of the zora district, 1:00 a.m...
"Ouch."
Monster rubbed his aching temples. He wasn't used to thinking so hard for such a long time. Seated at the base of an old tree, Monster sighed and gazed around himself, taking a much-needed mental break to enjoy the park's flora. New Castletown was a very lively city, but there was something about earth and growing things that was...soothing. He'd missed it while he slept, among other things.
Pulling his mind back to the task at hand, thinking, Monster asked the advice of the tree he leaned on. Ten minutes passed, with no more than the tree's pithy comment on the rain that had fallen two weeks previous. Monster remembered too late that the tree wouldn't register that it had been asked a question for several days. The earth was completely out of the conversation; it was still reeling from events millennia old.
He felt a small nose nuzzle his arm, and looked down to see a rough-looking keaton, its gold fur matted and patchy, nicks and scars on its large ears. Monster reached over and scratched behind its ear, and the keaton wagged its tails and purred contentedly, sounding like it had swallowed gravel.
"You should take better care of yourself, little one," Monster scolded.
"Not an easy task these days, I'm afraid," the keaton rasped. It stepped closer, and placed a paw on Monster's lap politely. "May I?"
"Of course."
The keaton primly hopped onto Monster's lap, curled up, and laid down. "Thank you. I've been a bit under the weather, lately." It swished one tail gently.
"I'm starting to notice that about many things. How did it come about?"
The keaton yawned and turned its narrow eyes upward in disbelief. "Oh, it's been coming about for a long time. You mean you haven't noticed it? The Goddesses are faltering; it's as though the whole world is smothering. Why do you think you yourself are so weak, gentle one?"
Monster shrugged. "I'd just chalked it up to being asleep for ten millennia." He thought for a moment. "The Goddesses have never failed before; what ails them now?"
The keaton cocked its ears, as though muddled. "I'm not certain. Every century or so, my kin and I can feel a tension build up in the world. Usually the tension releases, but for the last nine build-ups or so, this hasn't happened. The tension just...lessens a bit. Something has stopped happening, and it's sickening everything. Neither I nor any other spirit I see has the energy it needs; we're all getting a bit glum and run-down, almost as if we are starving as mortal creatures do. I can't explain it so well, this is new."
Monster had a nagging feeling that he could explain it, if he could remember...something. While he was dreaming, he'd remembered so many things, important things, but now that he was awake he couldn't concentrate enough to find them again.
"What a shame..." he muttered to himself. "I wish I was cleverer at this sort of thing." He stroked the keaton's rough fur and thought for a while. This was tiring work; he knew something was wrong, not only with his kymmate, but with everything. But he didn't even know what it was, let alone how to fix it! He wished his counterpart knew about it (whatever it was); he was the smart one... Monster was in sore need of more brainpower, and he knew he couldn't supply it himself. An idea struck him and he addressed the keaton, who was beginning to doze off.
"Do you know any others of mine?" he asked.
The keaton nodded, understanding the question even if few others would. "There is one far to the southwest who is awake."
Monster smiled. 'Perfect.' "Would you be willing to carry a message for me, little one?"
The keaton tipped its triangular head to one side for a moment, tails twitching. "I suppose I could be amenable to a small favor, yes," it said, with a bit of typically keaton dry humor. It knew that anything it did for one of these beings would be remembered in its favor later on. Monster leaned down to whisper in its scruffy ear, and then set the keaton gently of the ground. The little spirit fox danced around for a minute, as though finding its bearings, and then it was suddenly a small yellow speck in the distance, its legs a blur, heading southwest.
Monster lay back on the grass and relaxed. Someone else could do some thinking for a while. He was exhausted. 'In fact, a brief nap wouldn't be uncalled for...'
**
Around five miles from the eastern border of Gerudia, 3:00 a.m...
The young gerudo trudged glumly along the edge of the highway, not even bothering to thumb for rides anymore. In this day and age, hitchhikers were considered too dangerous or potentially nuts to bother about. The youth had sent Cielo back home a few hours ago; no sense in keeping a horse around when what was wanted was a low profile. 'Yeah, that'd be the way to keep Gran from findin' me: trot myself into New Castletown on a mare like a conquering general, or somethin'.'
Headlights came up over the hill behind the gerudo, who stepped farther off the road to avoid the wind of the hover generators and let the vehicle pass. The teen was surprised when the sound of the generators softened to an idle whine, and there was a hiss of air brakes as the single huge wheel* of a rig was stopped right beside the youth. The gerudo looked up at the cab and took another step back apprehensively.
A voice emerged from the darkened cab. "Ya walkin' on the wrong side, ya know," it spoke in hylian.
"Huh?"
The driver leaned over the passenger seat and poked his head out the window. "Where're ya headin', kid?"
The accent was gerudian, but that...just wasn't right. "New Castletown."
A dark arm waved. "Hop in, that's where I'm goin'."
"Ah...No. I can walk."
The driver snorted and popped the door open, speaking in gerudian this time. "Are you nuts, kid? That's a six-hour drive from here. Get in, no one's going to hurt you."
That struck a chord. "I wasn't scared." The gerudo climbed in without another thought, and the driver put the rig in gear. The gerudo looked down out of the window as the rig's hydraulic wheel and hover generators hoisted the bulk of the vehicle a couple feet higher, and the rig lumbered out onto the highway, coming up to speed slowly.
Studying the driver, the gerudo was more put off. Firstly, he was easily the biggest man the youth had ever seen. One of the only, but still... He looked to be almost seven feet tall, with the bulky V shape of an athlete. His fiery red hair was pulled into a topknot, and his clothes looked as though they'd been picked out by someone whose sense of style was a few centuries behind the times. What skin that showed was covered with swirling white and blue tattoos.
Amber eyes met the gerudo's own. "I know I'm gorgeous, but I can't be that gorgeous. Whatcha' staring at, kid?"
The gerudo looked down, flustered. "Nothing."
"Okay." The big man shrugged and they sat in silence for a minute or so. "What's your name, kid?"
The gerudo stared at the floor. "Gannondorf."
"Good name. Old name," the man said blankly. "You can call me..." he glanced quickly up at the driver's license pinned to the visor. The kid didn't catch it. "Sam. So, what were you staring at? No need to be shy; I'm thick-skinned." Gannondorf was quiet. "Is it the clothes? The tattoos? I know what it is." The kid looked up. Sam was glaring at him sidelong. "I have something hanging out of my nose, don't I? Don't spare my feelings. That's it, isn't it?" He sounded deathly serious, but a twinkle in his eye gave him away.
Gannondorf couldn't help grinning a little. "No, no. I'm sorry, I've just..." he scrambled for diplomatic words. Gran had held great stock by diplomacy. "I've just never seen a eunuch** of your...stature before."
"Oh?" Sam grinned, flashing white teeth. "And how do you know I'm a eunuch at all?"
Gannondorf smirked. "There's only one male allowed at a time."
"Yeah?" Sam said. "And how do you know I'm not the prince running around incognito?"
"I know."
"So," said Sam, changing the subject, "what're your plans in New C.?"
Gannondorf shrugged. "I'm looking for a family member I haven't seen in a while. I guess I'll just find some part-time work and stay in a motel or something while I look."
"Uhhh-oh," grumbled Sam, "that won't work."
Gannondorf scowled. "What do you mean?"
"You going into Hyrule, kid," Sam answered gravely, "They won't let you work there until you're seventeen. How old are you, kid?"
"Fourteen," Gannondorf said glumly. "Shit."
"Yeah. You got anyone else you can stay with?"
Gannondorf shook his head.
Sam sighed. "I'm gonna' be in New C. for a few weeks. I think you'd better stick by me, kid."
"I can take care of myself!" Gannondorf snapped, glaring daggers at the driver.
"Oh, yeah?" Sam shot back, all traces of humor gone for the moment. "You ever been to one of these metros, kid? No? You think you can just show up, alone, unemployed? You wouldn't last a day." He ignored the kid's growing annoyance. "What did you bring with you, two, maybe three thousand denari? Nice. Real good idea, kid. So you'll be a pretty, fourteen-year-old eunuch with a wad of cash and no idea what he's doing. You're not a person, kid; you're something to be consumed."
"I'm not a kid, and I DO know what I'm doing." Gannondorf was fuming. "And I don't need a complete stranger taking me under his wing, thanks anyway," he spat sardonically.
Sam shrugged, letting it go. He chuckled to himself.
"What's so funny?"
"Oh, nothing," Sam said, glancing over. "Nothing you'd get."
"What's that supposed to mean." The kid bristled.
"The thought just occurred to me," Sam laughed, all smiles again, "that maybe the surgeon went a little trigger-happy when she fixed you and gave you a complementary lobotomy. It'd explain why you think you'll stay out of the gutter by yourself."
That set the short-fused gerudo off. "How dare you! How dare you pass judgment on me! Do you have any idea to whom you are speaking?!" He caught himself too late, making a choking noise in his throat. "Oh, Sandmother..."
To Gannondorf's surprise, Sam looked very patient, almost sympathetic. "Yeah," he said, "Yeah, in fact, I know exactly to whom I am speaking." He grinned, mimicking Gannondorf's inflection perfectly. Gannondorf was too mortified with himself to even force a smile.
"This isn't funny," he croaked.
Sam eyed the road. "Ah, sure it is, if you look at it the right way. That's the trouble with this younger generation," he went on, "they take themselves way too seriously. Relax a little, would you?"
"What are you going to do?" Gannondorf looked as though he was trying to sink down through the floorboards.
"What do you think? I'm going to drive us to New C. Then you're going to stick by me, and we'll find this relation of yours." Gannondorf opened his mouth to protest again. "I insist. Look, with all due respect, this going off on your own business at your age and with your title AND a complete lack of connections is a really stupid idea."
Gannondorf crossed his arms. "Just because I'm a royal doesn't make me helpless, you know."
"I didn't say you were, kid," Sam soothed. "But look, what if someone found out who you were, huh? Or what if you got into trouble, and word got back home that you were..." he fumbled, "...you know, in trouble. I'm as patriotic as the next guy; I'd be pretty pissed if my prince was found shot full of holes, or a debt slave in a house of ill repute, or whatever." Gannondorf paled. "You don't want to start a war, do you?"
Gannondorf thought the man was serious until Sam winked. Still, he couldn't bring himself to get angry again. They sat without speaking for a long while, Sam whistling to himself, Gannondorf watching listlessly as scrub and cactus patches gradually gave way to rolling prairie.
"Hey, kid."
Gannondorf looked over at the driver. "What?"
"You look tired," Sam said. "We've still got a few hours on the road; you're welcome to take a nap in the back if you'd like."
Gannondorf peered suspiciously across the cab. "I don't think so, no."
"Have it your own way, kid."
Silence reigned again. Gannondorf became aware by degrees of just how monotonous long road trips could really be.
'Grass grass grass grass grass grass; LOOK, a TREE! Grass grass grass grass...'
"Cow."
Sam glanced over. "Ah, sorry, kid. You bored? I don't blame you; this is boring work. At least you'll never have to worry about ending up like this, eh?" The joke was entirely lost on Gannondorf. Sam thought for a moment. "You ever heard this one, kid? A woman walks into a bar with a Chihuahua on a leash. The bartender says 'Sorry, lady, but no dogs allowed.' So she goes out and puts on a pair of dark glasses and walks back in with this Chihuahua. And the bartender says 'Hey, lady, no dogs allowed.' And she says 'This is a seeing-eye dog.' And then the bartender says 'You mean to tell me that that Chihuahua is a seeing-eye dog?' And the woman says 'They gave me a Chihuahua?!'" Sam waggled his eyebrows. "Ba-dum, psh!"
His audience was silent.
"Okay, okay, we'll try another one. You'll like this one." He cleared his throat. "Okay, so this eunuch goes to visit his grandmother, and when he gets there he sees she's taking a nap, right? So he just sits in the front room and reads and every now and then he takes a nut from a dish on the table and eats it. So the grandmother finally wakes up, and the eunuch sees he's finished off the nuts, and he says 'Hey, I'm sorry, Gran, I ate all the nuts in that dish there.' And she says 'That's okay; after I've sucked all the chocolate off them, I don't care for them much anyway.' Eh?"
Gannondorf sighed.
"Wow, tough room, tough room..." said Sam, not prepared to stop. "All right, we'll try a riddle. Everybody loves riddles. Stop me if you've heard this one." He cleared his throat again. "You're a bus driver. On the first stop you-"
"Amber," said Gannondorf.
Sam blinked. "Okay, so you've heard that one, huh? Well, how about this. A little girl wants a garden, so she-"
"She buried her mother's shoe tree."
"Oookay." Sam squinted. "You build this house, and-"
"There aren't any stairs."
"Aha!" Sam crowed, making his passenger jump. "I'm sorry, but the answer was 'white.' You stopped me too soon that time."
Gannondorf stared at his traveling companion for a moment. "On second thought, a quick nap might not be a bad idea."
Sam just smiled and continued humming.
**
A truckstop, 3:15 a.m...
An old hylian stood looking rather forlorn alongside and equally old and forlorn hound in a parking space empty of all but a small puddle of oil.
"Well, Rusty," the old man said deliberately. "I s'pose we'll have to make a couple phone calls."
**
The Hailey Building, 69th floor, 8:03 A.M...
Callaghan walked into his office and found, to his consternation, that it was overrun with Monster. The aggravating little putz was sitting in Callaghan's chair with his feet propped up on the desk, flipping through a magazine and listening to headphones. Lipsyncing. He was so wrapped up in Monsterland that he didn't even look up when Callaghan entered the room.
He looked quite comfortable. Content, even.
...Oh, that just would not do.
Since Callaghan had made it all the way up beside the chair without so much as a glance from his associate, Callaghan felt that fair warning had been given, and, without preamble, deftly kicked the chair over.
"Ack!" The magazine went flying, and Monster went for a brief excursion backwards and downwards along with the chair. He stared up at his kymmate for a bit. Then he grinned. "Why, hello there. Are you that excited to see me? I'm touched."
Callaghan glared down at the little snot, fighting the urge to kick him in the face. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, nothing," Monster chirped, "just lying here, enjoying the scenery." He fluttered his eyelashes.
How very sickening. "Did you forget our appointment today? Go get ready." He reached down and pulled off the headphones. Some idiot gerudo woman was warbling about something or other. Callaghan wasn't much for ballads, so he did the sensible thing and crushed the headphones' memory chip. The irritating music trailed off in a brief yet satisfying electronic whine.
"Hey! I was listening to that, thank you very much."
"We don't have time for this, flower. Do you want this to go badly?"
Monster pouted. "I don't see why I have to go. He's your counterpart." He pointed to the holster strapped to Callaghan's chest. "And why that? Just because he's blindly attacked you for the past seven millennia doesn't mean he will this time. I think you're being paranoid."
Callaghan rolled his eyes. "And where did you pick up a word that complex?"
Monster looked aloof. "I had a very nice conversation with a psychiatrist yesterday. I do have a brain, you know. She was very clever. She thinks we need counseling."
'Is there no end...?' He was dumbfounded, almost speechless. "Counseling?"
Monster brightened. "Yeah! I even got her number, see?" He fished a business card out of his pocket and handed it up to Callaghan. "Personally, I think it's a very good idea."
Callaghan read the number, looked at the card in consideration for a minute, and then very neatly placed the card in his mouth, chewed it thoroughly, and swallowed it. Monster blinked, his mouth hanging open a little. "Personally," Callaghan said, "I think you need to get off your lazy, worthless ass and get ready, before I have to help you."
"Oh," Monster mumbled, slowly melting into a black cloud. "Maybe later, then."
**
The freeway outside New Castletown's suburbs, 8:45 a.m...
"Hey, kid, wake up."
"Ouch!" Rubbing his head where he'd cracked it against the cab ceiling, Gannondorf eased himself down from the bunk and back into his seat.
Sam started maneuvering the rig to the far right, keeping one eye on the smaller hovers diving in and out of lanes. "Take a look out the window."
Gannondorf glanced up and caught his breath. They were already in what seemed to be a city, buildings sprawling out as far as the eye could see around what had to be the tallest, biggest skyscrapers he'd ever seen. Not that he'd really seen any major cities in person... "Wow..." Adjectives beyond that were a little hard to find at the moment.
Sam chuckled. "Yeah, that's what I said, too. And we're still fifteen miles away."
"It's...a little bigger than I thought."
Sam nodded with a knowing smile. "Oh, it's fairly sizable. A couple million, give or take."
Gannondorf wasn't certain that he could imagine a number that huge, but didn't say anything. No point in encouraging any 'I told you so's.' Still, as intimidating as the city was, he really wasn't all that scared-just...excited. It was as though he was returning to an old friend.
...In fact, he felt up to riding in like a conquering general, after all.
**
Apt. 99, 10:00 a.m...
"Master, where did I come from?"
Nearly snorting corn flakes up his nose, Link sputtered for a bit before meeting the earnest gaze of the bot across the table. Sheik had been pretty quiet for a few days; at first it had been a nice change from constant sunshine, but after a while it had gotten a little depressing to watch him mope around and sigh. The unusual question was just a bit out of the blue.
"Um...A factory, I guess..." Link said. 'I really shouldn't be surprised by this stuff anymore.' Still, it was odd trying to deal with a machine that seemed at times to be self-aware.
"Oh," the bot replied softly, disappointed. Then, remembering something, he got up and left the room for a minute. Link stared after him curiously. Before long the bot returned, with a pencil and scrap of paper, and sat down again. Very slowly, with his tongue stuck out a tiny bit, he drew something. He shoved the paper toward Link and asked, "What is this?"
Link studied the paper. The drawing was an example of freehand CAD, all smooth curves and perfectly straight lines. It looked, basically, like a small harp. 'What are those little harps called again? Oh, that's it...' He pushed the paper back. "It's called a lyre, I think." After a bit of thought, he added, "Why?"
"I think I used to own one."
'Maybe he's got a corrupt file somewhere...' Link mused. He wasn't very convinced, though...
**
* Since freight trucks are much too heavy for hover generators to support completely, most of the weight of the truck is borne by a big ol' wheel placed in the center behind the cab. It makes the rig look sort of like huge see-saw. Counterweights on the front and rear ends of the truck keep it from tipping over.
** Over the millennia, the gerudian gene pool has been contaminated somewhat. One of the effects of this is the occurrence of extra male children (about one in every two hundred births). To amend this problem, the males who aren't descended from the ruling dynasty are snipped. Next best thing to a female, right?
...When the creatures of the world were made, each god took some part. The animals, the plants, and also the forest people, the Scrubs and the Kokiri, belong to Farore. They are childlike. The Zoras and the Hylians belong to Nayru. The Zora are the water people, and have forms like fishes; the Hylian are of a form not unlike ours, and love the plains of the south. They are wise, and are great allies. The Gerudo and the Goron peoples belong to Din. The Gerudo have very few sons, and love the deserts of the west. They are dark-skinned, with ears that curve. The Goron are of large form, and possess great strength. They love the mountains. The Subrosians and the Sheikah belong to the god. The Subrosian people are a people of darkness, and are seldom seen. They love the caverns beneath the ground. The Sheikah are the people of shadows, and of all the peoples, we alone move by night. We claim the highlands of the north as our home. Treat your people well, for they are your sisters and your brothers. Treat the other peoples well, for they are your cousins. Revere the gods, for they gave you form. Love the Giants, for they give us life. Most of all, young one, love the One, for the One is all things...
...When offering sacrifice or performing a rite of bonding, such as the blood rite, it is best to do so when Var's Eye is open. The night on which it is fully open is best. When praying or performing a blessing, it is best to do so when Var's Eye is closed or closing. When the eye is shut the ear is finer...
...Priests and priestesses do not form kyms, instead they bond by blood. A tie by blood is strong, and such is needed in the absence of a kym. The rite is performed only by night. A clean knife makes a small cut in the skin above the heart. With one's blood, a drop is painted on the brow of the other. One's blood is also drunk in a small amount by the other. There is no prayer. The blood of Raj was shed without ceremony. Do not make the bond lightly, young one, lest it burden you...
...When praying, pray alone. Praying in company creates confusion. Prayer can be done in dwellings or without, and during the day as well as the night. The recitation of mantras, the singing of the higher songs, and the speech of the spirit are all good prayer. Never pray for the harm of another, young one, for that is praying against the gods, the Giants, and the One...
...When the world was made, the spirits of the Giants were rent from their bodies by the gods, and so the Giants sleep. The spirits of the Giants are held in the forms of people, and mortal lives are as dreams. One spirit is held in the form of a Sheikah, one in the form of a Gerudo, two in the form of Hylians. No spirit takes the form of a child of Farore, for she loved the Giants, and will not enslave them. The forms of the Spirits are mortal, and pass through rebirth as all others do. The Spirits are reborn alike each life; other people are reborn different in gender, in race, and in species. Aside from the mortal form, the Spirits also have immortal Shadows...
End excerpt.
Excerpt from the Goddessian scripture, near the front (before all the boring passages about the measurements of such-and-such temple and five-page-long lists of names)...
...And, lo, the peoples of the world were made, some to wander the fields and others to dwell in the rivers, and the Goddess Nayru spake from the heavens unto them, and these were Her laws for the peoples:
Murder not. Steal not. Commit not adultery. Worship not the Dark One. Be tempted not by the four devils...
The devil of the wind shall cloud thy sight and dim thy mind, she shall maketh thee neglectful and sorrowful. She shall leadeth thee away from the Goddesses with sadness. The devil of fire shall sharpen thy mind overmuch, he shall maketh thee to scoff and jeer at the laws of the Goddesses. He shall coax thee away with laughter. The devil of earth shall stir thy heart with unnatural love. He shall maketh thee to spurn the Goddesses and grow detestable in Their sight. He shall lure thee away with caresses. The devil of water shall make thee numb and cold. He shall deaden thy senses and harden thy heart against the Goddesses. He shall drive thee away with force. Be ever vigilant, for the devils hate the Goddesses, and wait to ensnare Their children.
Live at peace with the people of the waters, the people of the mountains, and the people of the forest, for they are good and righteous in the sight of the Goddesses. Beware the people of the desert, for their loyalty is passing as the winter snow. Love not the Shadow people who walk by night, for they are people of the Dark One, and are detestable to the Goddesses.
End excerpt.
Ruto Park, at the edge of the zora district, 1:00 a.m...
"Ouch."
Monster rubbed his aching temples. He wasn't used to thinking so hard for such a long time. Seated at the base of an old tree, Monster sighed and gazed around himself, taking a much-needed mental break to enjoy the park's flora. New Castletown was a very lively city, but there was something about earth and growing things that was...soothing. He'd missed it while he slept, among other things.
Pulling his mind back to the task at hand, thinking, Monster asked the advice of the tree he leaned on. Ten minutes passed, with no more than the tree's pithy comment on the rain that had fallen two weeks previous. Monster remembered too late that the tree wouldn't register that it had been asked a question for several days. The earth was completely out of the conversation; it was still reeling from events millennia old.
He felt a small nose nuzzle his arm, and looked down to see a rough-looking keaton, its gold fur matted and patchy, nicks and scars on its large ears. Monster reached over and scratched behind its ear, and the keaton wagged its tails and purred contentedly, sounding like it had swallowed gravel.
"You should take better care of yourself, little one," Monster scolded.
"Not an easy task these days, I'm afraid," the keaton rasped. It stepped closer, and placed a paw on Monster's lap politely. "May I?"
"Of course."
The keaton primly hopped onto Monster's lap, curled up, and laid down. "Thank you. I've been a bit under the weather, lately." It swished one tail gently.
"I'm starting to notice that about many things. How did it come about?"
The keaton yawned and turned its narrow eyes upward in disbelief. "Oh, it's been coming about for a long time. You mean you haven't noticed it? The Goddesses are faltering; it's as though the whole world is smothering. Why do you think you yourself are so weak, gentle one?"
Monster shrugged. "I'd just chalked it up to being asleep for ten millennia." He thought for a moment. "The Goddesses have never failed before; what ails them now?"
The keaton cocked its ears, as though muddled. "I'm not certain. Every century or so, my kin and I can feel a tension build up in the world. Usually the tension releases, but for the last nine build-ups or so, this hasn't happened. The tension just...lessens a bit. Something has stopped happening, and it's sickening everything. Neither I nor any other spirit I see has the energy it needs; we're all getting a bit glum and run-down, almost as if we are starving as mortal creatures do. I can't explain it so well, this is new."
Monster had a nagging feeling that he could explain it, if he could remember...something. While he was dreaming, he'd remembered so many things, important things, but now that he was awake he couldn't concentrate enough to find them again.
"What a shame..." he muttered to himself. "I wish I was cleverer at this sort of thing." He stroked the keaton's rough fur and thought for a while. This was tiring work; he knew something was wrong, not only with his kymmate, but with everything. But he didn't even know what it was, let alone how to fix it! He wished his counterpart knew about it (whatever it was); he was the smart one... Monster was in sore need of more brainpower, and he knew he couldn't supply it himself. An idea struck him and he addressed the keaton, who was beginning to doze off.
"Do you know any others of mine?" he asked.
The keaton nodded, understanding the question even if few others would. "There is one far to the southwest who is awake."
Monster smiled. 'Perfect.' "Would you be willing to carry a message for me, little one?"
The keaton tipped its triangular head to one side for a moment, tails twitching. "I suppose I could be amenable to a small favor, yes," it said, with a bit of typically keaton dry humor. It knew that anything it did for one of these beings would be remembered in its favor later on. Monster leaned down to whisper in its scruffy ear, and then set the keaton gently of the ground. The little spirit fox danced around for a minute, as though finding its bearings, and then it was suddenly a small yellow speck in the distance, its legs a blur, heading southwest.
Monster lay back on the grass and relaxed. Someone else could do some thinking for a while. He was exhausted. 'In fact, a brief nap wouldn't be uncalled for...'
**
Around five miles from the eastern border of Gerudia, 3:00 a.m...
The young gerudo trudged glumly along the edge of the highway, not even bothering to thumb for rides anymore. In this day and age, hitchhikers were considered too dangerous or potentially nuts to bother about. The youth had sent Cielo back home a few hours ago; no sense in keeping a horse around when what was wanted was a low profile. 'Yeah, that'd be the way to keep Gran from findin' me: trot myself into New Castletown on a mare like a conquering general, or somethin'.'
Headlights came up over the hill behind the gerudo, who stepped farther off the road to avoid the wind of the hover generators and let the vehicle pass. The teen was surprised when the sound of the generators softened to an idle whine, and there was a hiss of air brakes as the single huge wheel* of a rig was stopped right beside the youth. The gerudo looked up at the cab and took another step back apprehensively.
A voice emerged from the darkened cab. "Ya walkin' on the wrong side, ya know," it spoke in hylian.
"Huh?"
The driver leaned over the passenger seat and poked his head out the window. "Where're ya headin', kid?"
The accent was gerudian, but that...just wasn't right. "New Castletown."
A dark arm waved. "Hop in, that's where I'm goin'."
"Ah...No. I can walk."
The driver snorted and popped the door open, speaking in gerudian this time. "Are you nuts, kid? That's a six-hour drive from here. Get in, no one's going to hurt you."
That struck a chord. "I wasn't scared." The gerudo climbed in without another thought, and the driver put the rig in gear. The gerudo looked down out of the window as the rig's hydraulic wheel and hover generators hoisted the bulk of the vehicle a couple feet higher, and the rig lumbered out onto the highway, coming up to speed slowly.
Studying the driver, the gerudo was more put off. Firstly, he was easily the biggest man the youth had ever seen. One of the only, but still... He looked to be almost seven feet tall, with the bulky V shape of an athlete. His fiery red hair was pulled into a topknot, and his clothes looked as though they'd been picked out by someone whose sense of style was a few centuries behind the times. What skin that showed was covered with swirling white and blue tattoos.
Amber eyes met the gerudo's own. "I know I'm gorgeous, but I can't be that gorgeous. Whatcha' staring at, kid?"
The gerudo looked down, flustered. "Nothing."
"Okay." The big man shrugged and they sat in silence for a minute or so. "What's your name, kid?"
The gerudo stared at the floor. "Gannondorf."
"Good name. Old name," the man said blankly. "You can call me..." he glanced quickly up at the driver's license pinned to the visor. The kid didn't catch it. "Sam. So, what were you staring at? No need to be shy; I'm thick-skinned." Gannondorf was quiet. "Is it the clothes? The tattoos? I know what it is." The kid looked up. Sam was glaring at him sidelong. "I have something hanging out of my nose, don't I? Don't spare my feelings. That's it, isn't it?" He sounded deathly serious, but a twinkle in his eye gave him away.
Gannondorf couldn't help grinning a little. "No, no. I'm sorry, I've just..." he scrambled for diplomatic words. Gran had held great stock by diplomacy. "I've just never seen a eunuch** of your...stature before."
"Oh?" Sam grinned, flashing white teeth. "And how do you know I'm a eunuch at all?"
Gannondorf smirked. "There's only one male allowed at a time."
"Yeah?" Sam said. "And how do you know I'm not the prince running around incognito?"
"I know."
"So," said Sam, changing the subject, "what're your plans in New C.?"
Gannondorf shrugged. "I'm looking for a family member I haven't seen in a while. I guess I'll just find some part-time work and stay in a motel or something while I look."
"Uhhh-oh," grumbled Sam, "that won't work."
Gannondorf scowled. "What do you mean?"
"You going into Hyrule, kid," Sam answered gravely, "They won't let you work there until you're seventeen. How old are you, kid?"
"Fourteen," Gannondorf said glumly. "Shit."
"Yeah. You got anyone else you can stay with?"
Gannondorf shook his head.
Sam sighed. "I'm gonna' be in New C. for a few weeks. I think you'd better stick by me, kid."
"I can take care of myself!" Gannondorf snapped, glaring daggers at the driver.
"Oh, yeah?" Sam shot back, all traces of humor gone for the moment. "You ever been to one of these metros, kid? No? You think you can just show up, alone, unemployed? You wouldn't last a day." He ignored the kid's growing annoyance. "What did you bring with you, two, maybe three thousand denari? Nice. Real good idea, kid. So you'll be a pretty, fourteen-year-old eunuch with a wad of cash and no idea what he's doing. You're not a person, kid; you're something to be consumed."
"I'm not a kid, and I DO know what I'm doing." Gannondorf was fuming. "And I don't need a complete stranger taking me under his wing, thanks anyway," he spat sardonically.
Sam shrugged, letting it go. He chuckled to himself.
"What's so funny?"
"Oh, nothing," Sam said, glancing over. "Nothing you'd get."
"What's that supposed to mean." The kid bristled.
"The thought just occurred to me," Sam laughed, all smiles again, "that maybe the surgeon went a little trigger-happy when she fixed you and gave you a complementary lobotomy. It'd explain why you think you'll stay out of the gutter by yourself."
That set the short-fused gerudo off. "How dare you! How dare you pass judgment on me! Do you have any idea to whom you are speaking?!" He caught himself too late, making a choking noise in his throat. "Oh, Sandmother..."
To Gannondorf's surprise, Sam looked very patient, almost sympathetic. "Yeah," he said, "Yeah, in fact, I know exactly to whom I am speaking." He grinned, mimicking Gannondorf's inflection perfectly. Gannondorf was too mortified with himself to even force a smile.
"This isn't funny," he croaked.
Sam eyed the road. "Ah, sure it is, if you look at it the right way. That's the trouble with this younger generation," he went on, "they take themselves way too seriously. Relax a little, would you?"
"What are you going to do?" Gannondorf looked as though he was trying to sink down through the floorboards.
"What do you think? I'm going to drive us to New C. Then you're going to stick by me, and we'll find this relation of yours." Gannondorf opened his mouth to protest again. "I insist. Look, with all due respect, this going off on your own business at your age and with your title AND a complete lack of connections is a really stupid idea."
Gannondorf crossed his arms. "Just because I'm a royal doesn't make me helpless, you know."
"I didn't say you were, kid," Sam soothed. "But look, what if someone found out who you were, huh? Or what if you got into trouble, and word got back home that you were..." he fumbled, "...you know, in trouble. I'm as patriotic as the next guy; I'd be pretty pissed if my prince was found shot full of holes, or a debt slave in a house of ill repute, or whatever." Gannondorf paled. "You don't want to start a war, do you?"
Gannondorf thought the man was serious until Sam winked. Still, he couldn't bring himself to get angry again. They sat without speaking for a long while, Sam whistling to himself, Gannondorf watching listlessly as scrub and cactus patches gradually gave way to rolling prairie.
"Hey, kid."
Gannondorf looked over at the driver. "What?"
"You look tired," Sam said. "We've still got a few hours on the road; you're welcome to take a nap in the back if you'd like."
Gannondorf peered suspiciously across the cab. "I don't think so, no."
"Have it your own way, kid."
Silence reigned again. Gannondorf became aware by degrees of just how monotonous long road trips could really be.
'Grass grass grass grass grass grass; LOOK, a TREE! Grass grass grass grass...'
"Cow."
Sam glanced over. "Ah, sorry, kid. You bored? I don't blame you; this is boring work. At least you'll never have to worry about ending up like this, eh?" The joke was entirely lost on Gannondorf. Sam thought for a moment. "You ever heard this one, kid? A woman walks into a bar with a Chihuahua on a leash. The bartender says 'Sorry, lady, but no dogs allowed.' So she goes out and puts on a pair of dark glasses and walks back in with this Chihuahua. And the bartender says 'Hey, lady, no dogs allowed.' And she says 'This is a seeing-eye dog.' And then the bartender says 'You mean to tell me that that Chihuahua is a seeing-eye dog?' And the woman says 'They gave me a Chihuahua?!'" Sam waggled his eyebrows. "Ba-dum, psh!"
His audience was silent.
"Okay, okay, we'll try another one. You'll like this one." He cleared his throat. "Okay, so this eunuch goes to visit his grandmother, and when he gets there he sees she's taking a nap, right? So he just sits in the front room and reads and every now and then he takes a nut from a dish on the table and eats it. So the grandmother finally wakes up, and the eunuch sees he's finished off the nuts, and he says 'Hey, I'm sorry, Gran, I ate all the nuts in that dish there.' And she says 'That's okay; after I've sucked all the chocolate off them, I don't care for them much anyway.' Eh?"
Gannondorf sighed.
"Wow, tough room, tough room..." said Sam, not prepared to stop. "All right, we'll try a riddle. Everybody loves riddles. Stop me if you've heard this one." He cleared his throat again. "You're a bus driver. On the first stop you-"
"Amber," said Gannondorf.
Sam blinked. "Okay, so you've heard that one, huh? Well, how about this. A little girl wants a garden, so she-"
"She buried her mother's shoe tree."
"Oookay." Sam squinted. "You build this house, and-"
"There aren't any stairs."
"Aha!" Sam crowed, making his passenger jump. "I'm sorry, but the answer was 'white.' You stopped me too soon that time."
Gannondorf stared at his traveling companion for a moment. "On second thought, a quick nap might not be a bad idea."
Sam just smiled and continued humming.
**
A truckstop, 3:15 a.m...
An old hylian stood looking rather forlorn alongside and equally old and forlorn hound in a parking space empty of all but a small puddle of oil.
"Well, Rusty," the old man said deliberately. "I s'pose we'll have to make a couple phone calls."
**
The Hailey Building, 69th floor, 8:03 A.M...
Callaghan walked into his office and found, to his consternation, that it was overrun with Monster. The aggravating little putz was sitting in Callaghan's chair with his feet propped up on the desk, flipping through a magazine and listening to headphones. Lipsyncing. He was so wrapped up in Monsterland that he didn't even look up when Callaghan entered the room.
He looked quite comfortable. Content, even.
...Oh, that just would not do.
Since Callaghan had made it all the way up beside the chair without so much as a glance from his associate, Callaghan felt that fair warning had been given, and, without preamble, deftly kicked the chair over.
"Ack!" The magazine went flying, and Monster went for a brief excursion backwards and downwards along with the chair. He stared up at his kymmate for a bit. Then he grinned. "Why, hello there. Are you that excited to see me? I'm touched."
Callaghan glared down at the little snot, fighting the urge to kick him in the face. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, nothing," Monster chirped, "just lying here, enjoying the scenery." He fluttered his eyelashes.
How very sickening. "Did you forget our appointment today? Go get ready." He reached down and pulled off the headphones. Some idiot gerudo woman was warbling about something or other. Callaghan wasn't much for ballads, so he did the sensible thing and crushed the headphones' memory chip. The irritating music trailed off in a brief yet satisfying electronic whine.
"Hey! I was listening to that, thank you very much."
"We don't have time for this, flower. Do you want this to go badly?"
Monster pouted. "I don't see why I have to go. He's your counterpart." He pointed to the holster strapped to Callaghan's chest. "And why that? Just because he's blindly attacked you for the past seven millennia doesn't mean he will this time. I think you're being paranoid."
Callaghan rolled his eyes. "And where did you pick up a word that complex?"
Monster looked aloof. "I had a very nice conversation with a psychiatrist yesterday. I do have a brain, you know. She was very clever. She thinks we need counseling."
'Is there no end...?' He was dumbfounded, almost speechless. "Counseling?"
Monster brightened. "Yeah! I even got her number, see?" He fished a business card out of his pocket and handed it up to Callaghan. "Personally, I think it's a very good idea."
Callaghan read the number, looked at the card in consideration for a minute, and then very neatly placed the card in his mouth, chewed it thoroughly, and swallowed it. Monster blinked, his mouth hanging open a little. "Personally," Callaghan said, "I think you need to get off your lazy, worthless ass and get ready, before I have to help you."
"Oh," Monster mumbled, slowly melting into a black cloud. "Maybe later, then."
**
The freeway outside New Castletown's suburbs, 8:45 a.m...
"Hey, kid, wake up."
"Ouch!" Rubbing his head where he'd cracked it against the cab ceiling, Gannondorf eased himself down from the bunk and back into his seat.
Sam started maneuvering the rig to the far right, keeping one eye on the smaller hovers diving in and out of lanes. "Take a look out the window."
Gannondorf glanced up and caught his breath. They were already in what seemed to be a city, buildings sprawling out as far as the eye could see around what had to be the tallest, biggest skyscrapers he'd ever seen. Not that he'd really seen any major cities in person... "Wow..." Adjectives beyond that were a little hard to find at the moment.
Sam chuckled. "Yeah, that's what I said, too. And we're still fifteen miles away."
"It's...a little bigger than I thought."
Sam nodded with a knowing smile. "Oh, it's fairly sizable. A couple million, give or take."
Gannondorf wasn't certain that he could imagine a number that huge, but didn't say anything. No point in encouraging any 'I told you so's.' Still, as intimidating as the city was, he really wasn't all that scared-just...excited. It was as though he was returning to an old friend.
...In fact, he felt up to riding in like a conquering general, after all.
**
Apt. 99, 10:00 a.m...
"Master, where did I come from?"
Nearly snorting corn flakes up his nose, Link sputtered for a bit before meeting the earnest gaze of the bot across the table. Sheik had been pretty quiet for a few days; at first it had been a nice change from constant sunshine, but after a while it had gotten a little depressing to watch him mope around and sigh. The unusual question was just a bit out of the blue.
"Um...A factory, I guess..." Link said. 'I really shouldn't be surprised by this stuff anymore.' Still, it was odd trying to deal with a machine that seemed at times to be self-aware.
"Oh," the bot replied softly, disappointed. Then, remembering something, he got up and left the room for a minute. Link stared after him curiously. Before long the bot returned, with a pencil and scrap of paper, and sat down again. Very slowly, with his tongue stuck out a tiny bit, he drew something. He shoved the paper toward Link and asked, "What is this?"
Link studied the paper. The drawing was an example of freehand CAD, all smooth curves and perfectly straight lines. It looked, basically, like a small harp. 'What are those little harps called again? Oh, that's it...' He pushed the paper back. "It's called a lyre, I think." After a bit of thought, he added, "Why?"
"I think I used to own one."
'Maybe he's got a corrupt file somewhere...' Link mused. He wasn't very convinced, though...
**
* Since freight trucks are much too heavy for hover generators to support completely, most of the weight of the truck is borne by a big ol' wheel placed in the center behind the cab. It makes the rig look sort of like huge see-saw. Counterweights on the front and rear ends of the truck keep it from tipping over.
** Over the millennia, the gerudian gene pool has been contaminated somewhat. One of the effects of this is the occurrence of extra male children (about one in every two hundred births). To amend this problem, the males who aren't descended from the ruling dynasty are snipped. Next best thing to a female, right?