Discovering Yourself
Chapter 4
"Maria, could you take me to my place? I just want to stay in my bed tonight. Ok?" "Yeah sure, do you want me to stay with you?" "No, I just really want to be alone." "Ok," Maria pulled up in front of the Crashdown. "Bye Liz, I'll see tomorrow."
Liz entered her front door and looked around. She took a step in and closed the door. She moved through the living room with the grace of a swan, slowly soaking in all of the memories, good, bad, she didn't care, she just wanted to remember, afraid that if she were to move to fast she would miss something. Slowly she made her way into her parent's bedroom. She couldn't move. She stood in the middle of the room and she couldn't move a single muscle. Everything was so quiet. It was deafening. All she could feel was pain. A pain so horrible it felt like it was eating her insides until there was nothing left. The pain of knowing she would never see them again. The pain of knowing she never got to tell them she loved them one last time. The pain of knowing that she would never get to say goodbye. And suddenly she fell. A heap of pain balled up on the floor of her dead parents room. Dead. How could this happen to her? She wasn't ready to be alone in this world. It was a far to scary world to be alone in. No guidance would ever be the same ever again. She wouldn't be able to accept what any other adult told her because, what if it was different from what her parents would have told her. It just didn't seem right to have to listen to anyone else. She would never get to be given away at her wedding. She would never get to be annoyed to death by her mothers constant badgering of how to plan a wedding, of where to live, of what to call the kids. Nothing. She wouldn't get any of that because they were gone. And they were never coming back.
And now she had to deal with this whole Max thing. What the hell was she supposed to do about that? He was sure to try and claim her back. But she couldn't let that happen. But how could she not? He was the love of her life. Maybe they could find a way to be together and still keep Tess around. Yeah right, like that would ever happen. Suddenly Liz felt the urge to lye in her own bed and drown herself in her blankets. It was the only comfort she ever felt, other than being in Max's arms.
As she entered her room and everything seemed so ordinary. 'If walls could talk.' She thought as she lay down in her bed and wrapped herself in her blanket. She closed her eyes and she saw him. She saw his face everywhere. "I'm coming for you." "I love you, Liz." "You're my destiny." "It was you." "We create our own destiny." Over and over faster and faster, that's all she heard and all she saw. Swirling around her like a tornado. She was spinning, around and around, with every sweet, amazing thing Max ever said to her, filling her mind. Then it all stopped and all she could see was his eyes. His eyes, filled with every emotion he'd ever felt for her. She was drowning in those eyes. Those beautiful amber eyes. She couldn't take it anymore. She didn't deserve those eyes. "LEAVE ME ALONE! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I"VE ALREADY GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING! I DON'T DESERVE YOU. HOW CAN YOU STILL LOVE ME? JUST HATE ME, PLEASE. Just hate me Max."
****** Max knew exactly where he was headed tonight. He had to see her. She was the only thing that had ever kept him stable. She was his rock and now he had to be hers. He had to make things right. He would beg and plead if he had to, nothing could stop him from getting her back in his life. 'She's so strong. How could I ask her to do something like that? She was left with no one. How could I not know that she would be alone? I love her so much. How could be so horrible to her?' Max walked as fast as he could and finally he had arrived at the ladder leading to her room. He wasn't sure if she would actually be there, he just needed to be close to her. And her room was the best way to feel close to her. Max reached the edge of the balcony and climbed over just as he heard her scream. "LEAVE ME ALONE! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I"VE ALREADY GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING! I DON'T DESERVE YOU. HOW CAN YOU STILL LOVE ME? JUST HATE ME, PLEASE. Just hate me Max." Max had heard it all perfectly but he had to strain the hear the last part but he did. "Me, she's screaming at me. She wants me to hate her?" Max asked quietly. He opened her window and climbed in. "Liz," "I said leave me alone. You're not here. You're never here." 'What did she mean by that?' "Of course I'm here. I'm standing right in front of you." Liz looked up at him and covered her head quickly again. "You're not really here." She whispered. "Why do I keep seeing you? Do you enjoy torturing me? First in real life now inside my head too?" Liz began to cry again. "Liz what are you talking about? This is me, I'm right here." Max replied sitting next to her on her bed. "Well of course it's you," Liz said angrily. "I mean it figures you'd come here after you found out I've been lying to everyone." "Liz, I don't and never will hate you. I was just so hurt, I tried to forget about you, I really did, but I couldn't. Liz, I love you, so much, and what you've done for everyone, you're so amazing. And I'm so incredibly sorry about your loss. I would've loved for them to be my in-laws one day. But Liz... Liz look at me. I want you back. And we can work through everything. We'll treat Tess the way she should be treated. We'll all stay together. And we can be happy again." Liz was beginning to lose her reserve. "Max it's so much more complicated than that. You have to be with Tess. You're enemies defeated you because you weren't with her. I can't be in a relationship, even with you, if it means the end of the world." "No, Liz you're wrong. I don't need to be with Tess. Yeah sure we need her to stay, but I don't need to be with her. I need to be with you, Liz. Just because I she's my destiny, doesn't mean she's my soul mate. And we will not screw up this whole destiny thing by not being together. I mean Michael and Isabel aren't together. Why do I need to be with Tess? As long as the four of us are together, there's no reason why we shouldn't be with who we want to be with." "Max, -"Liz was cut of by Max's lips. At first Liz tried to push him away, but he just held tighter. Liz finally gave into him, and they fell back onto her bad kissing passionately. "Max," Liz whispered as he made his way down her neck. "Yeah," he replied. His voice heavy with lust. "Max, stop, please." Liz forced herself to say. She couldn't continue right now. Max pulled away and looked at her. "I just want you to hold me." Max Pulled himself up next to her and wrapped his arms around her protectively. He kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you." And she fell asleep with the first genuine smile on her face in a while.
**** Max woke up to the sun glaring in his eyes. He blinked a few times and looked down into the face of his sleeping beauty. And all he could do was stare at her face as she slept.
**** Liz awoke to the comforting feeling of being devoured by the strongest arms she'd ever had the pleasure to be wrapped up in. But she was afraid to open her eyes, in case it was all just some wonderful dream. She felt his soft warm lips desend on her cheek and she just had to look into his eyes. She opened her eyes and all she could see was a luscious neck. She couldn't resist. She bent closer, not letting him know she was up, and slowly moved in on his neck. She nipped it lightly causing him to jump. "Hey, no fair." Max cried attacking her waist. "Ahh, no, don't," Liz burst into a fit of giggles. "Ok, ok, truce?" Max asked holding his hands up in surrender. "Fine, truce. Now I have to get up and get ready to go see your dad. Can you go to your place and get Isabel to go ever to Maria's?" "Sure Liz. Do you want me to come with you?" Max asked. "No, thank you. But I need to do this without you. I just need Maria and Amy there. They're my new family." Liz said painfully. "And Isabel's only going 'cause she suggested it. I'm sorry Max, it's just something I need to do." Liz said sympathetically. "It's ok Liz, you have to be sorry. I know things can't go back to the way they were before, but we can work on it, right?" "Of course we can. I want us back too, but we have to take things slow." Liz really wanted this to work, and for to to work they had to go slow. "I understand Liz, too much ahs happened to just jump right in this saddle. I want this to work." Max said getting up and going to the door. "I'll see you later." "Bye Max."
Chapter 4
"Maria, could you take me to my place? I just want to stay in my bed tonight. Ok?" "Yeah sure, do you want me to stay with you?" "No, I just really want to be alone." "Ok," Maria pulled up in front of the Crashdown. "Bye Liz, I'll see tomorrow."
Liz entered her front door and looked around. She took a step in and closed the door. She moved through the living room with the grace of a swan, slowly soaking in all of the memories, good, bad, she didn't care, she just wanted to remember, afraid that if she were to move to fast she would miss something. Slowly she made her way into her parent's bedroom. She couldn't move. She stood in the middle of the room and she couldn't move a single muscle. Everything was so quiet. It was deafening. All she could feel was pain. A pain so horrible it felt like it was eating her insides until there was nothing left. The pain of knowing she would never see them again. The pain of knowing she never got to tell them she loved them one last time. The pain of knowing that she would never get to say goodbye. And suddenly she fell. A heap of pain balled up on the floor of her dead parents room. Dead. How could this happen to her? She wasn't ready to be alone in this world. It was a far to scary world to be alone in. No guidance would ever be the same ever again. She wouldn't be able to accept what any other adult told her because, what if it was different from what her parents would have told her. It just didn't seem right to have to listen to anyone else. She would never get to be given away at her wedding. She would never get to be annoyed to death by her mothers constant badgering of how to plan a wedding, of where to live, of what to call the kids. Nothing. She wouldn't get any of that because they were gone. And they were never coming back.
And now she had to deal with this whole Max thing. What the hell was she supposed to do about that? He was sure to try and claim her back. But she couldn't let that happen. But how could she not? He was the love of her life. Maybe they could find a way to be together and still keep Tess around. Yeah right, like that would ever happen. Suddenly Liz felt the urge to lye in her own bed and drown herself in her blankets. It was the only comfort she ever felt, other than being in Max's arms.
As she entered her room and everything seemed so ordinary. 'If walls could talk.' She thought as she lay down in her bed and wrapped herself in her blanket. She closed her eyes and she saw him. She saw his face everywhere. "I'm coming for you." "I love you, Liz." "You're my destiny." "It was you." "We create our own destiny." Over and over faster and faster, that's all she heard and all she saw. Swirling around her like a tornado. She was spinning, around and around, with every sweet, amazing thing Max ever said to her, filling her mind. Then it all stopped and all she could see was his eyes. His eyes, filled with every emotion he'd ever felt for her. She was drowning in those eyes. Those beautiful amber eyes. She couldn't take it anymore. She didn't deserve those eyes. "LEAVE ME ALONE! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I"VE ALREADY GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING! I DON'T DESERVE YOU. HOW CAN YOU STILL LOVE ME? JUST HATE ME, PLEASE. Just hate me Max."
****** Max knew exactly where he was headed tonight. He had to see her. She was the only thing that had ever kept him stable. She was his rock and now he had to be hers. He had to make things right. He would beg and plead if he had to, nothing could stop him from getting her back in his life. 'She's so strong. How could I ask her to do something like that? She was left with no one. How could I not know that she would be alone? I love her so much. How could be so horrible to her?' Max walked as fast as he could and finally he had arrived at the ladder leading to her room. He wasn't sure if she would actually be there, he just needed to be close to her. And her room was the best way to feel close to her. Max reached the edge of the balcony and climbed over just as he heard her scream. "LEAVE ME ALONE! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I"VE ALREADY GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING! I DON'T DESERVE YOU. HOW CAN YOU STILL LOVE ME? JUST HATE ME, PLEASE. Just hate me Max." Max had heard it all perfectly but he had to strain the hear the last part but he did. "Me, she's screaming at me. She wants me to hate her?" Max asked quietly. He opened her window and climbed in. "Liz," "I said leave me alone. You're not here. You're never here." 'What did she mean by that?' "Of course I'm here. I'm standing right in front of you." Liz looked up at him and covered her head quickly again. "You're not really here." She whispered. "Why do I keep seeing you? Do you enjoy torturing me? First in real life now inside my head too?" Liz began to cry again. "Liz what are you talking about? This is me, I'm right here." Max replied sitting next to her on her bed. "Well of course it's you," Liz said angrily. "I mean it figures you'd come here after you found out I've been lying to everyone." "Liz, I don't and never will hate you. I was just so hurt, I tried to forget about you, I really did, but I couldn't. Liz, I love you, so much, and what you've done for everyone, you're so amazing. And I'm so incredibly sorry about your loss. I would've loved for them to be my in-laws one day. But Liz... Liz look at me. I want you back. And we can work through everything. We'll treat Tess the way she should be treated. We'll all stay together. And we can be happy again." Liz was beginning to lose her reserve. "Max it's so much more complicated than that. You have to be with Tess. You're enemies defeated you because you weren't with her. I can't be in a relationship, even with you, if it means the end of the world." "No, Liz you're wrong. I don't need to be with Tess. Yeah sure we need her to stay, but I don't need to be with her. I need to be with you, Liz. Just because I she's my destiny, doesn't mean she's my soul mate. And we will not screw up this whole destiny thing by not being together. I mean Michael and Isabel aren't together. Why do I need to be with Tess? As long as the four of us are together, there's no reason why we shouldn't be with who we want to be with." "Max, -"Liz was cut of by Max's lips. At first Liz tried to push him away, but he just held tighter. Liz finally gave into him, and they fell back onto her bad kissing passionately. "Max," Liz whispered as he made his way down her neck. "Yeah," he replied. His voice heavy with lust. "Max, stop, please." Liz forced herself to say. She couldn't continue right now. Max pulled away and looked at her. "I just want you to hold me." Max Pulled himself up next to her and wrapped his arms around her protectively. He kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you." And she fell asleep with the first genuine smile on her face in a while.
**** Max woke up to the sun glaring in his eyes. He blinked a few times and looked down into the face of his sleeping beauty. And all he could do was stare at her face as she slept.
**** Liz awoke to the comforting feeling of being devoured by the strongest arms she'd ever had the pleasure to be wrapped up in. But she was afraid to open her eyes, in case it was all just some wonderful dream. She felt his soft warm lips desend on her cheek and she just had to look into his eyes. She opened her eyes and all she could see was a luscious neck. She couldn't resist. She bent closer, not letting him know she was up, and slowly moved in on his neck. She nipped it lightly causing him to jump. "Hey, no fair." Max cried attacking her waist. "Ahh, no, don't," Liz burst into a fit of giggles. "Ok, ok, truce?" Max asked holding his hands up in surrender. "Fine, truce. Now I have to get up and get ready to go see your dad. Can you go to your place and get Isabel to go ever to Maria's?" "Sure Liz. Do you want me to come with you?" Max asked. "No, thank you. But I need to do this without you. I just need Maria and Amy there. They're my new family." Liz said painfully. "And Isabel's only going 'cause she suggested it. I'm sorry Max, it's just something I need to do." Liz said sympathetically. "It's ok Liz, you have to be sorry. I know things can't go back to the way they were before, but we can work on it, right?" "Of course we can. I want us back too, but we have to take things slow." Liz really wanted this to work, and for to to work they had to go slow. "I understand Liz, too much ahs happened to just jump right in this saddle. I want this to work." Max said getting up and going to the door. "I'll see you later." "Bye Max."