AN: WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! This is imporatant. R rating is now going to be realized! There are more mentions of suicide (SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER!) and lots of gore. Shippo is a mental wreak. He will be OOC until roughly chapter nine, and even then he will remain slightly more mature then in the anime. In this story, Shippo has been forced to grow up, rather than in the anime where Kagome babies him and he can continue to act like a child. If you notice, when Shippo starts off in episode nine, he's more focused and mature than later on. It's almost as if taking Kagome on as his mother allows him to pick his childhood up and keep going with it. Since he can't do that, Shippo will remain sort as he was during episode nine. Sorry about the rant there. -_-;;

Chapter 5: TERROR

"It's been a week since I got my new patient, Inuyasha. Even though I've only meet with Inuyasha three times, I'm really intrigued by him. I've started to research his background and I even tried to get in contact with his brother. I'll admit, my interest in Inuyasha is something bordering on attachment, but I really do like him. After our first meeting, Inuyasha has actually spoken to me. I'm honored to be the first to hear his voice in fifteen years.

"Frankly, Inuyasha's other side scares me a bit, but I think it scares Inuyasha as well. We don't talk about his problem too much, but sometimes he refers to someone named Youkai. I think this may be his name for his other personality.

"It's funny. I looked that word up in the dictionary and I couldn't find it, but when I ran a computer search on it, I found that it's actually a Japanese word. It means demon. A fitting name, almost, for such a violent personality.

"Inuyasha's problem does appear to be fairly severe, and I must remember to use caution during our meetings. He seems to have a reasonably good control on Youkai, but that's still not enough. Youkai seems to be capable of extensive damage, and after being attacked by this side of Inuyasha, I always carry sedative on me for safety reasons. Perhaps I should also investigate when he has allowed Youkai to control his mind. Perhaps this can help him.

"On another note, Inuyasha seems to have a strange aversion to the color white. Today I was wearing a pair of white shoes and Inuyasha almost knocked me over so he could take off my shoes. I was not hurt, but he wouldn't return my shoes to me. I shall have to ask Sango to find them for me. Until them, I am wearing a spare pair of slippers Sango lent me, to wear until I reached home. End notes."

Turning off the tape player, I removed the tape and slipped it into my bag. I got up and walked down the hall. It was almost time for my shift to end and I wanted to go home as quickly as possible. My head was splitting and I needed some sleep.

"Kagome!" Sango called after me. Sometimes I pitied Sango. Our shifts overlapped by six hours, and she came in later than I did, but she still had to work later than I did. Rubbing my forehead, I smiled and turned to face Sango.

"Yes?"

"Glad I caught you before you left." Sango smiled. "Guess what?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. I was really not in the mood for guessing games.

"No, no! Guess!" Sango insisted with a huge smile on her face.

"There's a new patient here and he's my patient." I sighed, rolling my eyes. I didn't really feel like giving it a decent guess. "Oh, and let me guess! His parents were brutally murdered and he's having terrible dreams!"

'Right. Like that would ever happen.'

"How did you know?" Sango asked, with a frown.

"What?"

"Shippo Kitsune was just sent here for help."

"Shippo Kitsune?"

"He's the son of that politician who was just killed."

"That kid who was in the newspaper? The one who saw the whole thing?"

"Yep. He's been having nightmares about it for the whole week, and finally the Police decided that he was going to have to get help."

"So, they sent him here? To be on my patient list?"

"Well, it just happened, but yes."

"Aww, shit." I muttered. "All right. Uh, I've got a headache and my shift just ended, so I'm going home. Just…...... give him some sleeping pills, or sedate him, or something and I'll meet with him in the morning."

"The police gave him some sleeping pills. They don't work."

"I can't think of anything else!" I screamed, my head about to explode. "Just give him some sedative and I'll deal with it later!"

"Okay. Okay." Sango muttered, backing off. "Relax. Are you feeling okay?"

"Just a bit of a headache." I sighed as I dug through my bag and pulled out an order. I scribbled my name and Shippo's name on it, before I checked the box for sleeping pills. I handed it to Sango and she put it in the front pocket of her scrubs. "Well, I'm going home."

"Okay. Have a long bath before bed." Sango offered. "It's good for relaxation."

"Thanks. I'll remember that."

I drove home and was too exhausted to follow up on Sango's advise, so I just tossed my bag next to the door, kicked off Sango's slippers and fell asleep, still in my work clothes.

The phone was ringing. Or at least, I was almost positive it was. To my fogged up mind, it might just have been a dream. Opening one eye, I reached out and grabbed the phone.

"Yes?" I whispered, trying not to sound like I had just woken up. I didn't think it was working too well.

"Kagome? Sango. I hate to be calling you on such short notice, and I know that you're not feeling too well, but you've got to come down here."

"Why?" I asked, feeling more awake by the second.

"Your patient just tried to commit suicide. He's fine, but we need you to come down and talk with him."

"My patient? Suicide?" I gasped, sitting up in bed. "Which one?"

I smoothed down my hair with my hand and shook my clothes a little in an attempt to get rid of the wrinkles.

"Patient Kitsune."

"All right. I'll be there right away. Get me some coffee." I ordered and hung up. Sango and I never bothered with formalities when it was a business call. We rarely had time.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I could hear them talking about me. Well, at least I assumed they were talking about me. I could be wrong but what were the odds of there being another patient named Shippo attempting suicide that day? I didn't see them as being very good.

I tried to sit up, but it was hard to do when you're in a straight jacket. I didn't understand why they were so upset. It was my life, not theirs, I had tried to take. I was the one who should be afraid, but I wasn't. I've seen death. It's nothing special. I closed my eyes and tried to listen in on the conversation about me, but I was too weak. Indeed, going to sleep expecting to die and waking up to having a bunch of doctors telling you how lucky you are to be alive is enough to make anyone weak. That, and I was hungry.

'Someone else has arrived.' I realized with a bit of a start.

A woman, I finally decided. The door opened and the head nurse came in followed by another woman.

This other woman was wearing a rumbled black pants suit. She looked like she had just woken up and the cup of coffee in her hands proved my theory. She sat down across from me and nodded to the head nurse. When we were alone, the lady who had just arrived put down her coffee cup and smiled at me.

'Sicko.'

"Hi. My name's Kagome Higurashi. I'm your doctor. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kitsune. Do you mind if I call you Shippo? You may call me Kagome, if you would like."

I shrugged as best I could and looked away. I didn't want to talk with a doctor.

"So, Shippo. I hear you're supposed to be starting 10th grade this fall."

"I'm not going to." I told her.

"Why do you say that?"

"I'm going to die."

"Don't be so negative. You're going to be fine."

"I don't carry any illusions, why do you?" I frowned as I turned to look at her. "Either I will kill myself or those two will do it for me."

"Which two?"

"The two in my mind."

"Ah, yes. You do suffer from nightmare, don't you."

"Not nightmares." I corrected her. How dare she pass those images off as something so ridiculous as that. They were worse than nightmares. "They're memories."

"Memories?"

"I see it. Every time I sleep. Every time I close my eyes. Every time I so much as blink. It's there, always there, waiting for me."

"What do you see?" Kagome asked.

"Them and my parents."

"Who is 'them'?"

"It's just 'Them'! I don't know their names. I just see them, killing my parents."

"You continue to remember your parents death?"

"DAMN IT!" I screamed at her.

'Why isn't she understanding me?'

"HOW CAN I FORGET? Have you ever seen a woman raped? I saw that! They raped my mother, forcing my father to watch every minute of it, and then those bastards ripped out my mother's stomach! As she died, they pressed the muzzle of a gun into my father's mouth, and blew off the entire back of his skull. His brains and blood stained the walls! A piece of his skull was so close to me, I could touch it, and every second that I watched I knew that if I moved or even breathed, those men would kill me too! So I watched my mother and father die. HAVE YOU SEEN THAT? COULD YOU WATCH THAT? WOULD YOU EVER, EVER, EVER FORGET THAT?!"

"No." Kagome whispered. "I couldn't."

"Damn it." I whispered, tears rolling down my face. "He died for trying to help people. He tried to help those who were weaker than him, and look what it got him. Shit. Shit. Shit."

"Shhh." Kagome whispered, placing one of her hands on my head and wiping away my tears. "Go ahead and cry."

"Oh God." I sobbed. "Daddy. Mommy."

"It'll be all right." Kagome sighed, and for a moment I forgot the dangers of rest and slipped into sleep.