I groaned. My head hurt... Why was I sleeping on Bakura's bed?
"Ryou..." He whispered sitting down beside me, "You get a good nights sleep?"
"Hai..." I said my voice sounding a bit groggy.
"That's good..." He said with a small smile and handed me a wet cloth which I placed on my forhead.
"Why... Did you want to know if you had a good sleep?" I whispered and looked up at him.
"...You... Tosssed and turned alot during the night... I thought you might have had a bad dream"
...He really did care... I felt bad that I lied to him...
"So, you ready to talk about yesturday?" He said looking me in the eyes, afraid if I had been hurt anymore.
He looked so upset...
"Hai..." I whispered...
Mariku was so nice to me about it. He wanted Bakura to love me back... He wanted me to be happy... So he volenteered that he was the one who almost raped me. Yes he did give me a few kisses here and there but overall he was gentil and helpful to me.
"Mariku... Mariku was the one..." I said quietly.
"I knew it! That bastard..." Bakura growled.
"Gomen... Gomen I should have been more careful..." I mumbled playing along with Mariku's script.
"No I'm sorry Ryou... I should have been a bit nicer to you... I shouldn't have let you out of my sight..."
"Bakura..." I leaned into him, "It's really my fault... Gomen... gomen..."
"Ryou..." He whispered, pulling me closer to him.
I could feel my eyes open wider. Mariku's plan had really worked...
"Arigatou..." I whispered very quietly.
I could feel him cry, I felt myself scream inside. I wanted to shout out it was a lie, I had tricked him but all I did instead was cry with him.
Holding each other close with tears rolling down our faces. One sorry for the other.
"Gomen... Bakura... I... I feel so guilty..." I said in between sniffs.
"Ryou... It's not your fault!" He whispered in my ear.
"Hai it is... It... is..." I whispered getting out of his grasp and walking out of his room.
"Ryou..." He said staring at me, "Somethings else is wrong... What is it?"
"I can't... Tell you...." I said disappearing the doorway down the hall into my room.
Tears rolled down, pulling blankets over my head.
Why did something with such good intention feel so rotten...?
"Gomen..." I cried.
~Mariku's POV~
I sighed lying on top of my bed. I really hoped my plan had worked.. To make him happy... Would make me happy...
But so disired to have the love he gave to his yami, HIS other...
I smirked, "Bakura's lucky... He should know that..."
I let out one deep sigh letting myself drift off into other thoughts but they always returned to Ryou and Bakura. Why couldn't I just shut them out now?
I needed a brake... Heck for all I know they could be making out right now...
And with that thoughts of them raping each other popped into my head.
"Fresh air!" I said dashing out my door to go for a ride on Malik's motorcycle.
~Ryou's POV~
Yami no Bakura is my other... But... Why do I love him so much? He looks alot like me.. but... He acts so much meaner then me.
I sighed, I KNOW I had already answered this question a million times... I guess I wanted to make sure... He doesn't love me back the way I want him too... Maybe Mariku would? Maybe someone else would...
I hugged my knees close to my chest. Tears had stained my face again but they were so much fresher...
"Ryou?" I heard my love's voice say softly outside the door, "You alright?"
I wipped my eyes clean, I tried to hide my sorrow, "Hai..."
"Why do you always lie?" His voice echoed in my head through our link.
I sniffed, "Because... I..."
"Omao ai watashi wa?"
(AN: if you've read my other lemon fic, the same thing I'm still learning Japanese so it may be incorrect)
He opened the door and sat down beside me, "Ryou... You lied about Mariku too... I know... I've been listening to you for the past few hours..."
I wanted to burst out into tears, "Gomen Bakura... Gomen gomen gomen!"
My eyes swelled, but he quickly placed his arm around me and held me close to his chest.
"Ryou... You know what you did is wrong... Very wrong... For awhile there... I really loved you..." He mumbled, stroking my hair, "And maybe I still love you... I'm not sure yet... but you lied to me and lost my trust... If you can get it back... Maybe then..."
He was still half hearted about everything...
I leaned closer into him, my yami cared for me enough to help me with my problems... I wish he could help me now but... My head.. my mind felt like it was spinning and spinning, getting sucked into a vortex.
"Gomen Bakura... I'm so sorry about before... I didn't know what I was doing and I still don't..."
He hummed softly still stroking my hair... He seemed so sad... And disappointed.. But... Why was he humming... Was it for him to staighten his thoughts? Or just to get me to relax and forget everything..?
My head lied against his chest and I could hear it pounding at a slow rythmic pace. Making me want to close my eyes and sleep...
My yami stopped his humming... He stopped stroking his fingers softly over my head... He just sat there for a moment doing nothing...
He took in a sigh and kissed me on the forehead and gave me a quick hug, "Aibou... I'm going to think about it some more in my room... You can do whatever you please until I come out..."
I nodded slowly...
He was so warm... I felt chilled to the bone... But he kept me warm... And he'd leave soon too...
I sniffed and tried holding in my emotions but I felt so broken...
Tears swelled in my eyes. Sorrow overflowed in my heart... Confusion ran needlessly in my head...
The tears ran slowly... Maybe because I was still trying to hold them back... Naybe because I felt no need to cry... But overall I wasn't sure... I wasn't sure about anything anymore.
"My aibou..." He said softly, taking away one of my tearsm "Everything is alright now... Rest... I tell you my decision later..."
"H-hai..." I choked.
Hugged me one last time then walked slowly to his room.
I'm so tired... I wanted sleep but... I felt restless...
I grabbed a sweater from one of my drawers and threw it over my head.
A walk should wake me up... Get my thoughts orginized...
A walked to the nearest park... Well the most decent park close to here that wouldn't be swarming with so many kids I couldn't hear myself...
I kept my hands upon my shoulders. I felt like I would brake out and start crying again.
"Ryou-chan?" A voice said from the oposite side of the park.
I looked up to see Mariku standing by his... well rather Malik's motorcycle.
Either he was here to see me or be alone and think like I was... That's the reason most people came to this park... It was so peaceful and relaxing.
"Konnichiwa Mariku" I said quietly.
He walked over to me and sat down beside me, "Something wrong? Did it not work?"
I shook my head, "Nah... It worked for the first bit there but he found out after I retreated to my room..."
He nodded slowly, "So it worked but you felt it was wrong.."
He hugged me tightly, "Gomen..."
I let out a sigh and stared at the ground.
He kept staring at me... Whether he was concerned or not I didn't care... I didn't care about alot of things lately.
The egyptain stood up and walked infront of me, "You going to mope all day? Or do I have to pull you out on the town?"
I shook my head and smiled slightly, "Iie, that's okay... I'll be fine Mariku-sa.."
He locked his lips with mine but this time it was different from before. I could feel how much he loved me... How much he wanted me... How much he wanted to...
The yami slide away.
"Ja ne Ryou-chan! I'll see you tomorrow! Hope you feel better!" He shouted as he ran over to Malik's motorcycle, "Ja ne!!"
I stared at him slightly dazed, "H-hai! Sayanora Mariku-san!"
I waved him goodbye as he rode off. My face felt like it was burning... Maybe I was getting a fever...
I tried denying the truth as I began to walk home...
~Bakura's POV~
I sat on my bed, drinking and thinking... Most of the time achohol made me forget my problems but today I thought it would help me deal with them.
Bottle after bottle I drank the cold liquid... Nothing like beru in the world... I found it the best out of most achohol beverages.
I lifted my head up after I heard a door slam from the front of the house.
Bringing another bottle of beer to my lips.
I really did love Ryou... I had figured that much out... But it was whether or not I really wanted to let him know... What was it I was so afraid of?
I heard a light knock on the door to my room.
"Come in" I said in a muffled tone.
My hikari opened the door and walked in, "Umm... You haven't decided yet have you?"
I shook my head. My eye felt like they would just shut on me anytime and let me sleep but it didn't happen.
I took a deep sip of my drink and looked at my hikari who had an odd look on his face.
"What?" I grumbled.
"Umm..." He blushed, "Why aren't you wearing your shirt?"
He flushed, totally forgetting that I had taken my shirt off when I got into my bedroom to think. Was it because I felt the need for Ryou or was it just cause it was to warm in here?
I shifted my weight in my bed, "Uhh.. It was getting warm in here... So I took off my shirt and had some beers..."
I pointed to the pile on the floor next to me, "See?"
He nodded slowly, "Uhh..."
"Yes? What?"
He sat down beside me and pointed at the beer.
"You want one?" I looked at him strangely.
"Hai..."
"Help yourself" I mumbled pointing at the cases of it next to me.
He picked one up, popped it open and chugged the toxican down, coughing after he had finished.
I blinked, was he going through a big depression or what?
He grabbed another bottle and chugged that one down too.
I watched him repeat the action for some time before he started becoming drunk and mumbling about crap.
"If you seen the look on that guys face you would have been screaming too..." He grumbled, placing his arm over my shoulder.
"Uhh Ryou? Are you okay?" I said feeling awkward with his beside me.
"Okay? Am I okay?" He growled, "Of course I'm okay!"
He took another deep sip of beer then continued his rant, "Why the hell wouldn't I be okay!?!"
"Hikari calm down!"
He looked mean... And really pissed off... I'd never seen this side of Ryou before!
"Bastards..." He took another sip.
"Ryou?"
"Phema..."
"Are you sure?"
"Fewas..."
"Ryou, I've never seen you this drunk before"
"Just shut up!" He yelled, "I'm fine okay!?"
"Okay okay! Sheesh..." I mumbled taking a small sip of beer. The least I could hope for right now was for him to pass out sometime soon...
"Ryou..." He whispered sitting down beside me, "You get a good nights sleep?"
"Hai..." I said my voice sounding a bit groggy.
"That's good..." He said with a small smile and handed me a wet cloth which I placed on my forhead.
"Why... Did you want to know if you had a good sleep?" I whispered and looked up at him.
"...You... Tosssed and turned alot during the night... I thought you might have had a bad dream"
...He really did care... I felt bad that I lied to him...
"So, you ready to talk about yesturday?" He said looking me in the eyes, afraid if I had been hurt anymore.
He looked so upset...
"Hai..." I whispered...
Mariku was so nice to me about it. He wanted Bakura to love me back... He wanted me to be happy... So he volenteered that he was the one who almost raped me. Yes he did give me a few kisses here and there but overall he was gentil and helpful to me.
"Mariku... Mariku was the one..." I said quietly.
"I knew it! That bastard..." Bakura growled.
"Gomen... Gomen I should have been more careful..." I mumbled playing along with Mariku's script.
"No I'm sorry Ryou... I should have been a bit nicer to you... I shouldn't have let you out of my sight..."
"Bakura..." I leaned into him, "It's really my fault... Gomen... gomen..."
"Ryou..." He whispered, pulling me closer to him.
I could feel my eyes open wider. Mariku's plan had really worked...
"Arigatou..." I whispered very quietly.
I could feel him cry, I felt myself scream inside. I wanted to shout out it was a lie, I had tricked him but all I did instead was cry with him.
Holding each other close with tears rolling down our faces. One sorry for the other.
"Gomen... Bakura... I... I feel so guilty..." I said in between sniffs.
"Ryou... It's not your fault!" He whispered in my ear.
"Hai it is... It... is..." I whispered getting out of his grasp and walking out of his room.
"Ryou..." He said staring at me, "Somethings else is wrong... What is it?"
"I can't... Tell you...." I said disappearing the doorway down the hall into my room.
Tears rolled down, pulling blankets over my head.
Why did something with such good intention feel so rotten...?
"Gomen..." I cried.
~Mariku's POV~
I sighed lying on top of my bed. I really hoped my plan had worked.. To make him happy... Would make me happy...
But so disired to have the love he gave to his yami, HIS other...
I smirked, "Bakura's lucky... He should know that..."
I let out one deep sigh letting myself drift off into other thoughts but they always returned to Ryou and Bakura. Why couldn't I just shut them out now?
I needed a brake... Heck for all I know they could be making out right now...
And with that thoughts of them raping each other popped into my head.
"Fresh air!" I said dashing out my door to go for a ride on Malik's motorcycle.
~Ryou's POV~
Yami no Bakura is my other... But... Why do I love him so much? He looks alot like me.. but... He acts so much meaner then me.
I sighed, I KNOW I had already answered this question a million times... I guess I wanted to make sure... He doesn't love me back the way I want him too... Maybe Mariku would? Maybe someone else would...
I hugged my knees close to my chest. Tears had stained my face again but they were so much fresher...
"Ryou?" I heard my love's voice say softly outside the door, "You alright?"
I wipped my eyes clean, I tried to hide my sorrow, "Hai..."
"Why do you always lie?" His voice echoed in my head through our link.
I sniffed, "Because... I..."
"Omao ai watashi wa?"
(AN: if you've read my other lemon fic, the same thing I'm still learning Japanese so it may be incorrect)
He opened the door and sat down beside me, "Ryou... You lied about Mariku too... I know... I've been listening to you for the past few hours..."
I wanted to burst out into tears, "Gomen Bakura... Gomen gomen gomen!"
My eyes swelled, but he quickly placed his arm around me and held me close to his chest.
"Ryou... You know what you did is wrong... Very wrong... For awhile there... I really loved you..." He mumbled, stroking my hair, "And maybe I still love you... I'm not sure yet... but you lied to me and lost my trust... If you can get it back... Maybe then..."
He was still half hearted about everything...
I leaned closer into him, my yami cared for me enough to help me with my problems... I wish he could help me now but... My head.. my mind felt like it was spinning and spinning, getting sucked into a vortex.
"Gomen Bakura... I'm so sorry about before... I didn't know what I was doing and I still don't..."
He hummed softly still stroking my hair... He seemed so sad... And disappointed.. But... Why was he humming... Was it for him to staighten his thoughts? Or just to get me to relax and forget everything..?
My head lied against his chest and I could hear it pounding at a slow rythmic pace. Making me want to close my eyes and sleep...
My yami stopped his humming... He stopped stroking his fingers softly over my head... He just sat there for a moment doing nothing...
He took in a sigh and kissed me on the forehead and gave me a quick hug, "Aibou... I'm going to think about it some more in my room... You can do whatever you please until I come out..."
I nodded slowly...
He was so warm... I felt chilled to the bone... But he kept me warm... And he'd leave soon too...
I sniffed and tried holding in my emotions but I felt so broken...
Tears swelled in my eyes. Sorrow overflowed in my heart... Confusion ran needlessly in my head...
The tears ran slowly... Maybe because I was still trying to hold them back... Naybe because I felt no need to cry... But overall I wasn't sure... I wasn't sure about anything anymore.
"My aibou..." He said softly, taking away one of my tearsm "Everything is alright now... Rest... I tell you my decision later..."
"H-hai..." I choked.
Hugged me one last time then walked slowly to his room.
I'm so tired... I wanted sleep but... I felt restless...
I grabbed a sweater from one of my drawers and threw it over my head.
A walk should wake me up... Get my thoughts orginized...
A walked to the nearest park... Well the most decent park close to here that wouldn't be swarming with so many kids I couldn't hear myself...
I kept my hands upon my shoulders. I felt like I would brake out and start crying again.
"Ryou-chan?" A voice said from the oposite side of the park.
I looked up to see Mariku standing by his... well rather Malik's motorcycle.
Either he was here to see me or be alone and think like I was... That's the reason most people came to this park... It was so peaceful and relaxing.
"Konnichiwa Mariku" I said quietly.
He walked over to me and sat down beside me, "Something wrong? Did it not work?"
I shook my head, "Nah... It worked for the first bit there but he found out after I retreated to my room..."
He nodded slowly, "So it worked but you felt it was wrong.."
He hugged me tightly, "Gomen..."
I let out a sigh and stared at the ground.
He kept staring at me... Whether he was concerned or not I didn't care... I didn't care about alot of things lately.
The egyptain stood up and walked infront of me, "You going to mope all day? Or do I have to pull you out on the town?"
I shook my head and smiled slightly, "Iie, that's okay... I'll be fine Mariku-sa.."
He locked his lips with mine but this time it was different from before. I could feel how much he loved me... How much he wanted me... How much he wanted to...
The yami slide away.
"Ja ne Ryou-chan! I'll see you tomorrow! Hope you feel better!" He shouted as he ran over to Malik's motorcycle, "Ja ne!!"
I stared at him slightly dazed, "H-hai! Sayanora Mariku-san!"
I waved him goodbye as he rode off. My face felt like it was burning... Maybe I was getting a fever...
I tried denying the truth as I began to walk home...
~Bakura's POV~
I sat on my bed, drinking and thinking... Most of the time achohol made me forget my problems but today I thought it would help me deal with them.
Bottle after bottle I drank the cold liquid... Nothing like beru in the world... I found it the best out of most achohol beverages.
I lifted my head up after I heard a door slam from the front of the house.
Bringing another bottle of beer to my lips.
I really did love Ryou... I had figured that much out... But it was whether or not I really wanted to let him know... What was it I was so afraid of?
I heard a light knock on the door to my room.
"Come in" I said in a muffled tone.
My hikari opened the door and walked in, "Umm... You haven't decided yet have you?"
I shook my head. My eye felt like they would just shut on me anytime and let me sleep but it didn't happen.
I took a deep sip of my drink and looked at my hikari who had an odd look on his face.
"What?" I grumbled.
"Umm..." He blushed, "Why aren't you wearing your shirt?"
He flushed, totally forgetting that I had taken my shirt off when I got into my bedroom to think. Was it because I felt the need for Ryou or was it just cause it was to warm in here?
I shifted my weight in my bed, "Uhh.. It was getting warm in here... So I took off my shirt and had some beers..."
I pointed to the pile on the floor next to me, "See?"
He nodded slowly, "Uhh..."
"Yes? What?"
He sat down beside me and pointed at the beer.
"You want one?" I looked at him strangely.
"Hai..."
"Help yourself" I mumbled pointing at the cases of it next to me.
He picked one up, popped it open and chugged the toxican down, coughing after he had finished.
I blinked, was he going through a big depression or what?
He grabbed another bottle and chugged that one down too.
I watched him repeat the action for some time before he started becoming drunk and mumbling about crap.
"If you seen the look on that guys face you would have been screaming too..." He grumbled, placing his arm over my shoulder.
"Uhh Ryou? Are you okay?" I said feeling awkward with his beside me.
"Okay? Am I okay?" He growled, "Of course I'm okay!"
He took another deep sip of beer then continued his rant, "Why the hell wouldn't I be okay!?!"
"Hikari calm down!"
He looked mean... And really pissed off... I'd never seen this side of Ryou before!
"Bastards..." He took another sip.
"Ryou?"
"Phema..."
"Are you sure?"
"Fewas..."
"Ryou, I've never seen you this drunk before"
"Just shut up!" He yelled, "I'm fine okay!?"
"Okay okay! Sheesh..." I mumbled taking a small sip of beer. The least I could hope for right now was for him to pass out sometime soon...