HOLY MOTHER OF GOODNESS GRACIOUSNESS
I'VE GOT OVER THIRTY REVIEWS
I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR 14 REVIEWS IN ONE DAY
Sorry for my outburst, but I just checked my reviews, and I have THIRTY ONE!!!!! Last time I checked, I had twenty!!! I was NOT prepared for that. Even though when I checked, I found out some people reviewed more than once, (I AM NOT MAD ABOUT THAT!) I still almost got a heart attack knowing that I now have THREE pages of reviews! And I was all stoked about ALMOST getting two
On a totally unrelated note, 30 million galleons were stolen from Vault number 475 of Gringotts yesterday.
On an even more unrelated note, one million homeless people all received thirty Galleons, today! Hmm... Could this have anything to do with...? Global Warming?
On a VERY unrelated note, it seems many readers were freaked out by Dumbledore's... eh... bra, and, for some reason, not by Malfoy's episode in the corner- less-room. [Sorry, Aelf- whatever.]
To clear up all of the confusion, Dumbledore only did this so Harry wouldn't become the laughing stock of the school. You see, he DIDN'T choose to wear it in when he woke up in the morning. He magically conjured it onto his chest at that moment before he stood up to quiet down everyone.
BUT... I cannot say anything about the boxers. Or the staring into space for a whole minute. Or the look on McGonagall's face. Or the waving to Harry at the end of the chapter. Or the... wait, I can't write that here. Forget that there was another thing. No, I mean it, don't even wonder what it was. There was nothing else. So forget about it.
ARE YOU FORGETTING!?!
But enough ranting! Let's get to the real reason you came here! Your daily dose of laughter!
Now onward!
WHY HAVEN'T YOU FORGOTTEN YET!?!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, fools! So get off my back, ya' heard!? Alright.
Harry made a mad dash towards the snitch. If he grabbed it- Gryffindor could at least live with the fact that THEY ended their own nightmare.
Harry looked to the side, and saw that Malfoy was even with him in the mad dash. Seeing Harry, Malfoy took out his wand, and launched an expelliarmus spell at Harry. Harry, off-balance, managed to get off the same spell in time, but he didn't hit Malfoy.
He hit the spell.
CRACK!!! Instead of canceling each other out, the spells backfired on their owners. Harry got tossed backwards, and Malfoy got tossed WAY forwards, OVER the snitch, and they both lay sprawled out on the ground.
Malfoy, now struggling to his feet, staggered towards his wand, to summon the snitch, but then he saw Harry rushing for the snitch. Malfoy then abandoned his wand, and met Harry at center-pitch.
Both of the boys stared each other down, seven feet apart from each other, with the snitch in the center, each not daring to make a grab for the snitch, as the other, who was so close, would surely intercept them in time.
"There's only one way to settle this, Potter." Said Malfoy.
"Yes there is, Malfoy." Said Harry.
Both looked each other straight in the eye.
"KUNG FU FIGHTING!!!!!"
"WHAT THE HECK!? KUNG FU FIGHTING!?!" shouted all of the Quidditch players.
"ARE THEY MENTAL!?!" screamed Tyrone. "HARRY AND MALFOY HAVE JUST ELECTED TO KUNG FU FIGHT IN MIDFIELD!!!"
Snape's whistle fell out of his mouth, and he landed his broom, utterly shocked.
Harry got into his offensive stance. He examined Malfoy's defensive one. He was very calm, and his heart and mind were focused, Harry could feel it. Harry slowly moved in, quiet as the wind, and as graceful as a butterfly. Malfoy stayed in his defensive stance.
And then he struck! Amazingly, he changed from defensive to offensive faster than imaginable. Quicker than lightning, Malfoy jabbed at Harry's solar plexus and temple at the same time in one amazing move.
But Harry was trained. Bending backwards matrix-style, with his arms flailing, his back parallel to the pitch, and his legs firmly on the ground, he let Malfoy sail over him.
Then, using all of his leg strength, he kicked himself off of the ground into a back-flip. Everyone in the stadium gasped as he landed RIGHT in front of the now landing Malfoy.
"KIYAAAAA!" shrieked Harry, delivering a few spinning kicks in quick succession. Malfoy back-flipped to avoid all of them by a hair's breadth. [I took that from The Karate Kid, even though it's not Kung Fu! Or is it?]
Then, after Harry finished the last one, Malfoy rolled to avoid a punch, hooked Harry's leg with his own one, and swept him into the air.
Harry quickly pulled his arms in, made his body straight, and spun a FULL 1,080 DEGREES sideways, [Think a triple-axel, but horizontal] landing PERFECTLY, unscathed.
The whole stadium erupted into cheers, and many people conjured up cards with the number "10" on them, for some unknown reason.
Malfoy couldn't hold back him amazement, and Harry took that chance to SLUG Malfoy in the face with all of the strength he could muster. Malfoy went flying, and landed, unconscious.
Snape, coming to life, screamed, "PENALTY!!!" but no one cared. Harry walked over to the snitch, smiled, and grabbed it off of the ground!
The whole crowd burst into cheers, which were soon stopped when they realized Gryffindor lost 2,550 to 200, counting the goal just scored right as Harry picked up the snitch. A 2,350-point loss. The worst one in Hogwarts history.
Ginny was so depressed that she retreated into the showers and locked the doors. Everyone else just moped around, wondering how they'd ever show their face again. But Harry and Ron had another feeling besides depression- anger. Snape had cheated them out of a game, and the rest of the school out of the house cup.
"That... little..." seethed Ron, who went on to call Snape every bad thing he could, using very inappropriate language along the way. Harry agreed wholeheartedly, but calling Snape names wasn't going to help. They needed... PAYBACK!
"Ron," whispered Harry, "I have... a plan!"
The Great Hall was unusually quiet the next day, with everyone all mad about the game. But the Slytherins were louder than ever, recalling some of the worse moments of the game with laughter.
"Two-hundred and fifty plus penalties." Said Ginny, for the umpteenth time. "SNAPE GAVE 250+ PENALTIES!!!"
"Ginny, it's not your fault." Said Hermione reassuringly. "And look on the bright side."
Just about the whole table turned to her in disbelief.
"Er... we, eh, gained 200 points during the match?"
"SO WHAT!?!" screamed Ron. "HALF THE POINTS ANYONE GAINS ARE LOST THE NEXT DAY, ANYWAY! AND BESIDES, WE ONLY HAVE LIKE, NEGATIVE ONE-HUNDRED POINTS NOW!!!"
"Sorry..." said Hermione feebly.
"Ron, calm down!" said Harry. "We have to execute stage one of the plan now!"
"What plan?" asked Hermione, interested.
"Oh, NOW you talk to me?" said Harry coolly.
"Yes." Said Hermione. "I'm not thick, like Ron, and drag arguments out longer than needed. I'm ready to forgive you, and I hope you are, too, because I overheard you talking about your plan last night, and, frankly, it won't work."
"Well, that's great!" said Harry, relieved that Hermione wasn't angry anymore, "But I'd bet money our plan's going to work!"
"Yeah!" said Ron. "You see, when Snape sits down in his chair, he'll sit on that hidden button,"
"You mean the one that's big, red, and not hidden at all?" said Hermione.
"Yes, that one, and when he sits on it, he'll trigger, by magic, of course, a pie to come flying right at his face!"
"And..." said Hermione, skeptically, "how in the world did you get this NEWT-or-higher-leveled magic to work?"
"It... it was NEWT?" said Ron, his face growing pale. "Oh, I thought... well... er... we did it in, like, thirty seconds..."
"Then it's going to backfire." Said Hermione simply.
And that's when the pie hit Harry in the face.
As a few people around him laughed, and Harry wiped the cream off of his face, Hermione smiled.
"All right, Harry, it seems that I'LL have to come up with a plan."
"You mean..." said Ron, in mock horror, "You're going to play a joke on... on a TEACHER!?!"
"Yes." Answered Hermione. "Snape's had this coming to him for years, and with that cheating display yesterday, I'd doubt even McGonagall would punish us if she found out! After we're done with him, he won't ever be able to show his face in Hogwarts again!"
Hmm, what could Hermione's plan be? Something smart, no doubt. But what will Snape's reaction be? Oh, forget it, just review.
YOU BETTER HAVE FORGOTTEN!
I'VE GOT OVER THIRTY REVIEWS
I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR 14 REVIEWS IN ONE DAY
Sorry for my outburst, but I just checked my reviews, and I have THIRTY ONE!!!!! Last time I checked, I had twenty!!! I was NOT prepared for that. Even though when I checked, I found out some people reviewed more than once, (I AM NOT MAD ABOUT THAT!) I still almost got a heart attack knowing that I now have THREE pages of reviews! And I was all stoked about ALMOST getting two
On a totally unrelated note, 30 million galleons were stolen from Vault number 475 of Gringotts yesterday.
On an even more unrelated note, one million homeless people all received thirty Galleons, today! Hmm... Could this have anything to do with...? Global Warming?
On a VERY unrelated note, it seems many readers were freaked out by Dumbledore's... eh... bra, and, for some reason, not by Malfoy's episode in the corner- less-room. [Sorry, Aelf- whatever.]
To clear up all of the confusion, Dumbledore only did this so Harry wouldn't become the laughing stock of the school. You see, he DIDN'T choose to wear it in when he woke up in the morning. He magically conjured it onto his chest at that moment before he stood up to quiet down everyone.
BUT... I cannot say anything about the boxers. Or the staring into space for a whole minute. Or the look on McGonagall's face. Or the waving to Harry at the end of the chapter. Or the... wait, I can't write that here. Forget that there was another thing. No, I mean it, don't even wonder what it was. There was nothing else. So forget about it.
ARE YOU FORGETTING!?!
But enough ranting! Let's get to the real reason you came here! Your daily dose of laughter!
Now onward!
WHY HAVEN'T YOU FORGOTTEN YET!?!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, fools! So get off my back, ya' heard!? Alright.
Harry made a mad dash towards the snitch. If he grabbed it- Gryffindor could at least live with the fact that THEY ended their own nightmare.
Harry looked to the side, and saw that Malfoy was even with him in the mad dash. Seeing Harry, Malfoy took out his wand, and launched an expelliarmus spell at Harry. Harry, off-balance, managed to get off the same spell in time, but he didn't hit Malfoy.
He hit the spell.
CRACK!!! Instead of canceling each other out, the spells backfired on their owners. Harry got tossed backwards, and Malfoy got tossed WAY forwards, OVER the snitch, and they both lay sprawled out on the ground.
Malfoy, now struggling to his feet, staggered towards his wand, to summon the snitch, but then he saw Harry rushing for the snitch. Malfoy then abandoned his wand, and met Harry at center-pitch.
Both of the boys stared each other down, seven feet apart from each other, with the snitch in the center, each not daring to make a grab for the snitch, as the other, who was so close, would surely intercept them in time.
"There's only one way to settle this, Potter." Said Malfoy.
"Yes there is, Malfoy." Said Harry.
Both looked each other straight in the eye.
"KUNG FU FIGHTING!!!!!"
"WHAT THE HECK!? KUNG FU FIGHTING!?!" shouted all of the Quidditch players.
"ARE THEY MENTAL!?!" screamed Tyrone. "HARRY AND MALFOY HAVE JUST ELECTED TO KUNG FU FIGHT IN MIDFIELD!!!"
Snape's whistle fell out of his mouth, and he landed his broom, utterly shocked.
Harry got into his offensive stance. He examined Malfoy's defensive one. He was very calm, and his heart and mind were focused, Harry could feel it. Harry slowly moved in, quiet as the wind, and as graceful as a butterfly. Malfoy stayed in his defensive stance.
And then he struck! Amazingly, he changed from defensive to offensive faster than imaginable. Quicker than lightning, Malfoy jabbed at Harry's solar plexus and temple at the same time in one amazing move.
But Harry was trained. Bending backwards matrix-style, with his arms flailing, his back parallel to the pitch, and his legs firmly on the ground, he let Malfoy sail over him.
Then, using all of his leg strength, he kicked himself off of the ground into a back-flip. Everyone in the stadium gasped as he landed RIGHT in front of the now landing Malfoy.
"KIYAAAAA!" shrieked Harry, delivering a few spinning kicks in quick succession. Malfoy back-flipped to avoid all of them by a hair's breadth. [I took that from The Karate Kid, even though it's not Kung Fu! Or is it?]
Then, after Harry finished the last one, Malfoy rolled to avoid a punch, hooked Harry's leg with his own one, and swept him into the air.
Harry quickly pulled his arms in, made his body straight, and spun a FULL 1,080 DEGREES sideways, [Think a triple-axel, but horizontal] landing PERFECTLY, unscathed.
The whole stadium erupted into cheers, and many people conjured up cards with the number "10" on them, for some unknown reason.
Malfoy couldn't hold back him amazement, and Harry took that chance to SLUG Malfoy in the face with all of the strength he could muster. Malfoy went flying, and landed, unconscious.
Snape, coming to life, screamed, "PENALTY!!!" but no one cared. Harry walked over to the snitch, smiled, and grabbed it off of the ground!
The whole crowd burst into cheers, which were soon stopped when they realized Gryffindor lost 2,550 to 200, counting the goal just scored right as Harry picked up the snitch. A 2,350-point loss. The worst one in Hogwarts history.
Ginny was so depressed that she retreated into the showers and locked the doors. Everyone else just moped around, wondering how they'd ever show their face again. But Harry and Ron had another feeling besides depression- anger. Snape had cheated them out of a game, and the rest of the school out of the house cup.
"That... little..." seethed Ron, who went on to call Snape every bad thing he could, using very inappropriate language along the way. Harry agreed wholeheartedly, but calling Snape names wasn't going to help. They needed... PAYBACK!
"Ron," whispered Harry, "I have... a plan!"
The Great Hall was unusually quiet the next day, with everyone all mad about the game. But the Slytherins were louder than ever, recalling some of the worse moments of the game with laughter.
"Two-hundred and fifty plus penalties." Said Ginny, for the umpteenth time. "SNAPE GAVE 250+ PENALTIES!!!"
"Ginny, it's not your fault." Said Hermione reassuringly. "And look on the bright side."
Just about the whole table turned to her in disbelief.
"Er... we, eh, gained 200 points during the match?"
"SO WHAT!?!" screamed Ron. "HALF THE POINTS ANYONE GAINS ARE LOST THE NEXT DAY, ANYWAY! AND BESIDES, WE ONLY HAVE LIKE, NEGATIVE ONE-HUNDRED POINTS NOW!!!"
"Sorry..." said Hermione feebly.
"Ron, calm down!" said Harry. "We have to execute stage one of the plan now!"
"What plan?" asked Hermione, interested.
"Oh, NOW you talk to me?" said Harry coolly.
"Yes." Said Hermione. "I'm not thick, like Ron, and drag arguments out longer than needed. I'm ready to forgive you, and I hope you are, too, because I overheard you talking about your plan last night, and, frankly, it won't work."
"Well, that's great!" said Harry, relieved that Hermione wasn't angry anymore, "But I'd bet money our plan's going to work!"
"Yeah!" said Ron. "You see, when Snape sits down in his chair, he'll sit on that hidden button,"
"You mean the one that's big, red, and not hidden at all?" said Hermione.
"Yes, that one, and when he sits on it, he'll trigger, by magic, of course, a pie to come flying right at his face!"
"And..." said Hermione, skeptically, "how in the world did you get this NEWT-or-higher-leveled magic to work?"
"It... it was NEWT?" said Ron, his face growing pale. "Oh, I thought... well... er... we did it in, like, thirty seconds..."
"Then it's going to backfire." Said Hermione simply.
And that's when the pie hit Harry in the face.
As a few people around him laughed, and Harry wiped the cream off of his face, Hermione smiled.
"All right, Harry, it seems that I'LL have to come up with a plan."
"You mean..." said Ron, in mock horror, "You're going to play a joke on... on a TEACHER!?!"
"Yes." Answered Hermione. "Snape's had this coming to him for years, and with that cheating display yesterday, I'd doubt even McGonagall would punish us if she found out! After we're done with him, he won't ever be able to show his face in Hogwarts again!"
Hmm, what could Hermione's plan be? Something smart, no doubt. But what will Snape's reaction be? Oh, forget it, just review.
YOU BETTER HAVE FORGOTTEN!