Man, with vacation, and nothing to do, I'm stuck here, writing multiple chapters in the same day. But I bet you readers love that, don't you?

IN THIS CHAPTER: HARRY AND THE GANG GET BACK AT SNAPE


Disclaimer: I own Harry Poter. I also own Harry Porter, Haryy Potter, Harr Potter, and Arry Otter. Not to mention Harry Pottre, Hrary Potter, Harry Pot Ter, and Harry Potterr.

But I do not own Harry Potter.


Harry and Ron went to Potions class in Teddy Bear costumes.

Everyone in the class stared at them in disbelief, and then started laughing out loud.

Malfoy was the loudest, and just barely got out in between tears of mirth- "HA! Potter, you've cracked! So have you, Weasley! You've finally cracked!"

Harry and Ron grew as scarlet as possible, but they sat down, obviously intending to go through the lesson in this humiliating state.

"Potter, Weasley, what is this!?" sneered Snape. "Are you trying to make a mockery of the classroom!? Five points from Gryffindor, and CHANGE your outfits!"

"But Professor, sir," said Harry, sounding surprisingly respectful, "We'd need to go all the way to our tower, and change! These suits are almost impossible to get out of!"

"Yeah!" chimed in Ron. "We'd miss, like, half of your class, if not more!"

"So be it. I'll take an extra point away from Gryffindor for every minute you're not here!"

The Gryffindors groaned, but Harry and Ron eagerly ran out of the classroom. They had just eliminated potions from their schedule for today, and were going to meet Hermione in the common room.

"Y'know," said Ron, "How did Hermione get out of Potions?"

"I dunno." Said Harry. "Maybe she got a note or something."

Harry and Ron entered the Common Room five minutes later, after giving the password, Forks of Joy. Harry thought the passwords were getting a bit weirder.

"Good, you're here!" said Hermione.

"How'd YOU get out of potions?" asked Harry as they sat down.

"N-never mind!" said Hermione, nervously neatening her clothes and wiping her lips, for some strange reason.

"Now, what's this 'super plan' to get back at Snape? You've been all secretive for about three weeks!"

"Well, the potion takes three weeks to make. And I had to sneak about five books out of the Restricted Section to get the ingredients!"

"Wait... YOU snuck books out!? Isn't that impossible?"

"Not if the Librarian happens to be a huge Quidditch fan, even if she doesn't show it! I explained it to her, and then she just walked away, as if nothing happened!"

"Hermione...!" said Ron, impressed. "You're supposed to be a prefect!"

"Yes." Said Hermione, eyes glittering. "Yes I am."

Ron just gaped, but Harry was getting restless. "Hermione," he said, impatiently, "WHAT'S THE POTION!?!"

Hermione smiled a smile that Harry had seldom seen her smile. It was an evil smile.

"Hey, what's that smeared, moist red stuff on the same hand you used to wipe your lips, Hermione?" asked Ron.


The bell to end Potions rang, with Gryffindor house a whole period's worth of points lighter. Malfoy was still making very loud jokes to a gang of Slytherins behind him about Harry and Ron's bear costumes.

"That git." Said Ron under his breath. "He deserves a drop of this-"

"Ron!" said Harry. "There's only three drops in that dropper! We can't risk squirting out too much!"

"But it's a MAGICAL one!" protested Ron. "It ALWAYS gives out one full drop at a time! And only one per squeeze! Snape only needs one!"

"Ron, we are NOT straying from the plan! I mean, our brains are three times as small as Hermione's, she probably has her reasons!"

"Okay." Said Ron, finally giving in. "Only Snape."

Harry and Ron reluctantly walked into the Potions classroom. Oh yeah, and they were wearing pig masks.

Snape was grading papers with a red pen. He looked up.

"Hmm? Who are you? What are you-?"

"EXPELLIARMUS!!!" shouted the muffled voice of Harry.

Snape's wand flew out of his pocket, and he flew backwards. His head slammed against the blackboard, in the same place where the book had hit him, and he fell forward, knocked out.

"Okay, Ron, get the potion." Said Harry.

"I wonder what it does." Said Ron, turning Snape over. "Man, I can't believe we attacked a teacher!"

"Just give him the potion and RUN!!! Hermione said don't stick around! In fact, she said we should join the crowd, if anyone finds out, not isolate ourselves."

"Okay, here goes!" said Ron. He opened Snape's mouth, and quickly squeezed three drops out in quick succession. They all went into Snape's mouth, and he BURPED.

"RUN!!!" shouted Ron. But Harry stayed, hypnotized by the incredible and sickening changes his Potions teacher was undergoing. Ron turned to look at Snape along with Harry, and gasped.

First, his facial features softened, and his nose size reduced. Then, his height reduced by a whole foot.

Third, his whole body took on a more... well, rounded look. His waist then slimmed considerably, and his hips got wider.

Harry stared in horror. He knew what was happening. How could Hermione DO this!?

Last, Snape's chest... well, swelled, and he lost all of his slight facial hair.

Harry bolted out of the room, Ron at his heels, and tried to push that sickening image of Snape after his transformation from his mind. He had no intention to return to Potions anytime soon.

Because Snape had transformed... into... A WOMAN




"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!" screamed Harry at Hermione in the common room.

"Changed Snape into a woman." Said Hermione simply.

"YEAH, BUT... YOU JUST CHANGED A HUMAN'S GENDER!!! AND STOP LAUGHING, RON!!!" Ron was rolling around on the floor, gasping for air; he had been laughing way too hard.

"THIS IS SO SIIIIICK!!! YOU'RE SICK, HERMIONE!!! RON, YOU'RE SICK TOO! EVERYONE IS SICK!!!"

"Harry, calm down." Said Hermione. "The teachers already know, and I overheard some laughing about it! Everyone hates Snape, we won't get in trouble. Plus, the potion wears away in two weeks."

"I KNOW!" shouted Harry. "BUT THIS IS TAMPERING WITH THE LAWS OF NATURE!!! AND THINK OF WHAT I'LL HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHEN... WHEN I HAVE TO GET TAUGHT BY HIM FOR AN HOUR LESSON!!!"

"What, scared you'll start fancying him?" said Hermione, giggling slightly.

Harry stopped shouting, and Ron stopped laughing. They looked at each other in horror- they had been thoroughly freaked out at the sight of the female Snape, for sure, but still- there had been another feeling there, as they looked at Snape lying on the ground- one at the back of their minds, that they hadn't realized had been there. It was a feeling that Harry had experienced once before in his life, and didn't think he'd feel it again for a long time.

Harry and Ron thought that they might fancy Snape.

Hermione looked at them both, horrified. "I... was just kidding!"

Harry and Ron looked at each other, horrified themselves.