Hiya, Potter fans!
This is Darkboy77, with another chapter for my crazy fanfic.
I should probably be submitting many chapters today, as I am stuck at home all day. This is my second one so far, and it's not even noon!
Okay, enough talking, more craziness.
Now onward!
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter, but I don't, fool! Now go kiss your parent/legal guardian.
They deserve it.
***
As Harry Potter stood under the mistletoe with his teacher, Snape, he had that familiar feeling again. What was it? Oh yeah, déjà vu. He remembered his fifth year...
***
She was much too close now. He could now count the freckles on her face. He could see every tear clinging to her cheek...
And then he had a flashback to his second year...
***
"This is such a weird moment." Thought Harry as he chewed for his life while standing on a 2-inch wide pole 500-feet off the ground.
And then he saw the eyes.
They weren't effective anymore, yes, but they were more beautiful than a cherry blossom in the middle of a freshwater lake. Whatever that meant.
He felt it coming closer... and he had no other desire in the world than to kiss it.
***
"AAAHHHH!" screamed Harry, waking up in a cold sweat. He had just had a dream... but it had turned into a nightmare... unless he was mistaken, he had just dreamed he had kissed a Basilisk.
He had been plagued by dreams of this nature ever since he closed his eyes for the first time. This was not what he wanted. He wanted a nice, peaceful, sleep. Trying to push all thoughts of Snape out of his mind, he let his head hit the Snape. Er... pillow.
The pillow was very soft, kind of like Snape...
Not surprisingly, Harry dreamed of Snape again. But this time, it didn't flash to any other scenes. Just Snape.
Harry, to his surprise, was wearing a tuxedo and a top hat. Snape was wearing a bikini.
"Harry..." said Snape seductively, "Where have you been all my life?"
"I'm here, baby," said Harry in a voice that was much deeper than his own. "That's all that matters..."
"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!" hooted the live studio audience crowd.
Harry and Snape got closer... closer... CLOSER... CLOOOOOSER... bumped their heads on one another... got farther... farther... okay, good enough.
"It's time.... Baby..." said Harry. He cradled Snape in his arms. Their faces got closer... Harry readied his lips... it was time...
"AAAH!!!" screamed both Harry and Ron at the same time, waking up yet again in a cold sweat.
***
Harry and Ron both gulped as they stood outside the door to Potions. They just hoped Snape wouldn't do anything that would get their hormones raging. They hoped that Snape would, in fact, not even get up from behind her desk.
As they walked in, Snape beamed at both of them in turn.
Harry almost ran out again, but he had forgotten how to walk, let alone run.
"Why, hello!" she said, still beaming, of course. "I'm so glad you came! Now, you two were on the... Hate Potion, I believe?"
"We were?' asked Ron. "Oh- I mean, yeah, we were."
"Good." Said Snape. "Now, take out your supplies, and then you can start straight off! But remember, DO NOT INGEST MORE THAN EIGHT OUNCES OF THE POTION! IT WILL MAKE YOU HATE THE FIRST FEMALE YOU SEE!"
Harry gave a start. Yes, this was IT! All he had to do was-
"Oh, yes, I forgot!" said Snape. "We're making the diluted version, so the effects will only last for..."
"Please be two weeks!" thought Harry.
"0.00000000000000002 seconds."
Harry and Ron both nearly cried in disappointment."
***
Harry simply could NOT concentrate. He tried to reach for his Crabgrass, (Yes, crabgrass IS in a hate potion!) but then, for some STRANGE, INEXPLICABLE reason, he imagined it turning into a very realistic model of Snape's butt, and he lost the courage to grab it. [Yes, Harry DOES have a sick mind!]
Ron was even worse. Whenever he saw Snape, he accidentally poured out too much... whatever it was, he couldn't concentrate, and, three times, he blew up his potion.
"Tut, tut!" said Snape. "I guess I'll have to HELP YOU OUT!"
At these last three words, Ron turned scarlet, and Harry swelled up with more jealousy than imaginable.
"Now, Ron..." said Snape, slowly picking up a vial of red liquid, "you need to add ONLY three drops of... Ron, are you listening? Hmm, Ronnie?"
"R-R-Ronnie? Yeah, he's okay!" said Ron, sweating. He then fainted.
"Oh dear!" said Snape. She quickly got out her wand, pointed it at Ron, and said, "Enervate!"
As Ron woke up, Snape looked at him with concern. "You need to go to the Hospital wing!" she said.
"Yeah. Okay." Said Ron, stumbling out of the room.
"Well, Harry," said Snape, "I guess it's just you and me, now!"
"R-R-REALLY!?" Harry almost shouted.
"Yes, Harry! I'll help you step by step!"
Harry was so happy, that he wasn't even listening now.
"With me and my Potions skills... we'll kiss that 'Acceptable' goodbye, and I'll bring you up to an 'Exceeds Expectations!' Wouldn't you LOVE that, Harry? Wouldn't you?"
That sentence made Harry's jaw drop. Since he wasn't listening, because his hearing was impaired by a cloud of love, he heard-
"With me... we'll kiss... I'll bring you up... you 'Exceed Expectations'... I LOVE... you..."
"HOT MAMA!!!" screamed Harry.
Snape almost had a heart attack. What the- Harry had NEVER, EVER screamed that phrase in his life! What was this?
Harry's hormones were raging beyond belief now. He wasn't nervous, now... now that the love of his life was in love with him now!
Harry leaped forward, and planted a huge, wet, sloppy, and very unprofessional kiss on Snape's lips.
"WOW!" breathed Harry. "That was a load off my chest!"
Snape could not believe what just happened. But then, she realized... she felt the wet spot on her lips...
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" she screamed. "POTTER... WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT!?! MY GOSH, I WAS JUST KISSED BY A STUDENT!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
What...?" asked Harry, his heart breaking. "You didn't like it...?"
"POTTER!!! HAVE YOU GONE MAD!?! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! THAT WAS SO... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" and then Snape dashed out of the room.
Harry exhaled. He had just freaked out a teacher beyond belief, but at least he wasn't in love anymore, after that display. In fact, he was kind of disgusted...
"OH MY GOODNESS... DID I JUST KISS MY POTIONS TEACHER!?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
And Harry ran out of the room, leaving it empty.
***
Five minutes later, Ron came in.
"Huh?" said Ron, observing the empty room. "What'd I miss?"
***
Wow, that was... interesting. And, by the way, they eventually did get the potion done. Ron got an 'Outstanding,' but, for some reason, Harry got a 'Poor...'
Review this madness. For next chapter: Hermione's secret revealed!
This is Darkboy77, with another chapter for my crazy fanfic.
I should probably be submitting many chapters today, as I am stuck at home all day. This is my second one so far, and it's not even noon!
Okay, enough talking, more craziness.
Now onward!
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter, but I don't, fool! Now go kiss your parent/legal guardian.
They deserve it.
***
As Harry Potter stood under the mistletoe with his teacher, Snape, he had that familiar feeling again. What was it? Oh yeah, déjà vu. He remembered his fifth year...
***
She was much too close now. He could now count the freckles on her face. He could see every tear clinging to her cheek...
And then he had a flashback to his second year...
***
"This is such a weird moment." Thought Harry as he chewed for his life while standing on a 2-inch wide pole 500-feet off the ground.
And then he saw the eyes.
They weren't effective anymore, yes, but they were more beautiful than a cherry blossom in the middle of a freshwater lake. Whatever that meant.
He felt it coming closer... and he had no other desire in the world than to kiss it.
***
"AAAHHHH!" screamed Harry, waking up in a cold sweat. He had just had a dream... but it had turned into a nightmare... unless he was mistaken, he had just dreamed he had kissed a Basilisk.
He had been plagued by dreams of this nature ever since he closed his eyes for the first time. This was not what he wanted. He wanted a nice, peaceful, sleep. Trying to push all thoughts of Snape out of his mind, he let his head hit the Snape. Er... pillow.
The pillow was very soft, kind of like Snape...
Not surprisingly, Harry dreamed of Snape again. But this time, it didn't flash to any other scenes. Just Snape.
Harry, to his surprise, was wearing a tuxedo and a top hat. Snape was wearing a bikini.
"Harry..." said Snape seductively, "Where have you been all my life?"
"I'm here, baby," said Harry in a voice that was much deeper than his own. "That's all that matters..."
"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!" hooted the live studio audience crowd.
Harry and Snape got closer... closer... CLOSER... CLOOOOOSER... bumped their heads on one another... got farther... farther... okay, good enough.
"It's time.... Baby..." said Harry. He cradled Snape in his arms. Their faces got closer... Harry readied his lips... it was time...
"AAAH!!!" screamed both Harry and Ron at the same time, waking up yet again in a cold sweat.
***
Harry and Ron both gulped as they stood outside the door to Potions. They just hoped Snape wouldn't do anything that would get their hormones raging. They hoped that Snape would, in fact, not even get up from behind her desk.
As they walked in, Snape beamed at both of them in turn.
Harry almost ran out again, but he had forgotten how to walk, let alone run.
"Why, hello!" she said, still beaming, of course. "I'm so glad you came! Now, you two were on the... Hate Potion, I believe?"
"We were?' asked Ron. "Oh- I mean, yeah, we were."
"Good." Said Snape. "Now, take out your supplies, and then you can start straight off! But remember, DO NOT INGEST MORE THAN EIGHT OUNCES OF THE POTION! IT WILL MAKE YOU HATE THE FIRST FEMALE YOU SEE!"
Harry gave a start. Yes, this was IT! All he had to do was-
"Oh, yes, I forgot!" said Snape. "We're making the diluted version, so the effects will only last for..."
"Please be two weeks!" thought Harry.
"0.00000000000000002 seconds."
Harry and Ron both nearly cried in disappointment."
***
Harry simply could NOT concentrate. He tried to reach for his Crabgrass, (Yes, crabgrass IS in a hate potion!) but then, for some STRANGE, INEXPLICABLE reason, he imagined it turning into a very realistic model of Snape's butt, and he lost the courage to grab it. [Yes, Harry DOES have a sick mind!]
Ron was even worse. Whenever he saw Snape, he accidentally poured out too much... whatever it was, he couldn't concentrate, and, three times, he blew up his potion.
"Tut, tut!" said Snape. "I guess I'll have to HELP YOU OUT!"
At these last three words, Ron turned scarlet, and Harry swelled up with more jealousy than imaginable.
"Now, Ron..." said Snape, slowly picking up a vial of red liquid, "you need to add ONLY three drops of... Ron, are you listening? Hmm, Ronnie?"
"R-R-Ronnie? Yeah, he's okay!" said Ron, sweating. He then fainted.
"Oh dear!" said Snape. She quickly got out her wand, pointed it at Ron, and said, "Enervate!"
As Ron woke up, Snape looked at him with concern. "You need to go to the Hospital wing!" she said.
"Yeah. Okay." Said Ron, stumbling out of the room.
"Well, Harry," said Snape, "I guess it's just you and me, now!"
"R-R-REALLY!?" Harry almost shouted.
"Yes, Harry! I'll help you step by step!"
Harry was so happy, that he wasn't even listening now.
"With me and my Potions skills... we'll kiss that 'Acceptable' goodbye, and I'll bring you up to an 'Exceeds Expectations!' Wouldn't you LOVE that, Harry? Wouldn't you?"
That sentence made Harry's jaw drop. Since he wasn't listening, because his hearing was impaired by a cloud of love, he heard-
"With me... we'll kiss... I'll bring you up... you 'Exceed Expectations'... I LOVE... you..."
"HOT MAMA!!!" screamed Harry.
Snape almost had a heart attack. What the- Harry had NEVER, EVER screamed that phrase in his life! What was this?
Harry's hormones were raging beyond belief now. He wasn't nervous, now... now that the love of his life was in love with him now!
Harry leaped forward, and planted a huge, wet, sloppy, and very unprofessional kiss on Snape's lips.
"WOW!" breathed Harry. "That was a load off my chest!"
Snape could not believe what just happened. But then, she realized... she felt the wet spot on her lips...
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" she screamed. "POTTER... WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT!?! MY GOSH, I WAS JUST KISSED BY A STUDENT!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
What...?" asked Harry, his heart breaking. "You didn't like it...?"
"POTTER!!! HAVE YOU GONE MAD!?! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! THAT WAS SO... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" and then Snape dashed out of the room.
Harry exhaled. He had just freaked out a teacher beyond belief, but at least he wasn't in love anymore, after that display. In fact, he was kind of disgusted...
"OH MY GOODNESS... DID I JUST KISS MY POTIONS TEACHER!?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
And Harry ran out of the room, leaving it empty.
***
Five minutes later, Ron came in.
"Huh?" said Ron, observing the empty room. "What'd I miss?"
***
Wow, that was... interesting. And, by the way, they eventually did get the potion done. Ron got an 'Outstanding,' but, for some reason, Harry got a 'Poor...'
Review this madness. For next chapter: Hermione's secret revealed!