WHOO HOO! 150+ REVIEWS!!!
AND ALL POSITIVE!
Except for the one from Chavalah Maresca, who was jealous that my stories got plenty of reviews and his/hers didn't.
Could any of you please send a review to any of his/her stories (click on his/her name in my review page, in ch. 1 reviews), to stop him/her from flaming innocent humor writers?
Only if you want to, as I think having no reviews should teach him/her good enough a lesson, rather than reviews in pity. I mean, I've asked you about 359 times to review my stories, I don't think it would be wise for me to ask you to review others'.
IGNORE MY NOTES AT THE START OF CHAPTER TEN!!!
Okay, anyway, er... OH NO, I DON'T HAVE ANYMORE NOTES!!!
Noooo!!! Oh, wait- it's not that serious.
Okay, er... uh... yeah... I guess I'll put the Disclaimer out.
Disclaimer: Who am I? Who are you? Who is Harry Potter? One thing's for sure- I don't own him.
***
"The Plan," said Harry, leaning over to whisper to Ron and Hermione, "is that I plan to knock this phony's tiara off!"
"And how?" asked Ron skeptically.
"Do you see those complicated system of ropes and pulleys I set up over all of the tables?"
"No, I don't." said Hermione, looking all over the place.
"Why not, they're... D'OH!" screamed Harry, slapping himself in the face.
***
Twenty minutes later, Harry came back to the table, breathing hard.
"There, I set them up." Said Harry.
"Yeah." Said Ron. "It's amazing how you did that without anyone recognizing you or what you were doing."
"Yes, it is." Replied Harry. "Now, anyway, my plan is, when Voldemort sits down,"
Ron gave a shudder.
"As I was saying," said Harry, distracted by the shudder, "When Voldemort sits down-"
Ron gave another shudder.
"STOP IT! When Voldemort sits down,"
Ron gave yet another shudder.
"Ron," said Harry through clenched teeth, "WILL YOU STOP SHUDDERING!?"
"I-I'll try." Said Ron.
"When Voldemort-"
Ron gave a shudder.
"When Volde-"
Ron gave still ANOTHER shudder.
"WHEN VOL-"
Shudder.
"WHEN-"
Shudder.
"RON!!!" screamed Harry.
"Harry," said Hermione patiently, "Why don't you start from AFTER You- Know-Who sits down?"
Harry sighed. "If I must."
"Good." Said Ron, breathing a sigh of relief.
"Anyway, after he sits down, he'll be in perfect position for me to release this rope!" said Harry, gesturing to a rope that was tied to the leg of one of the tables. "The rope will cause that heavy stone over there to fall, and when it falls, it will pull another rope, which, in turn, will hoist up a hook with a pail full of water!
"Now, the pail will fall sharply when the rock finishes falling, onto the lowered end of a lever with yet another rock on the raised end..."
"Shouldn't the pail fall onto the RAISED end, and the ROCK be on the LOWERED end?" asked Hermione.
Harry glared at Hermione with fire in his eyes.
"Sorry... just... evaluating..." said Hermione meekly.
***
"Okay!" said Harry thirty seconds later, after fixing the lever. "Anyway, when the pail falls on the RAISED end..."
Hermione gave an embarrassed giggle.
"The lever will flip the second stone up, which will then land on a button right behind McGonagall! The button will start a system of ropes which will raise a HUGE hook up, and, when the hook reaches maximum height, it will start to swing freely, like a pendulum!
"Now, the pendulum will get lower and lower, swinging with more and more strength, and when it finally gets low enough, IT WILL SNATCH THE TIARA RIGHT OFF OF VOLDEMORT'S HEAD!!!"
Ron gave a shudder, and then commented on Harry's plan.
"Harry..." said Ron.
"Yes?" replied Harry, prouder than ever, because he came up with this complicated plan that his best friend was about to praise.
"THAT IS THE WORST PLAN I'VE EVER HEARD OF!"
Well, so much for praise.
"I MEAN FIRST OF ALL," went on Ron, "IT'S NEEDLESSLY COMPLEX! BUCKETS OF WATER, ROPES, PULLEYS, YOU CAN'T JUST USE A SUMMONING SPELL TO YANK THE BLOODY TIARA OFF!?"
"And you can't?" retaliated Harry.
"NO, I DON'T MESS WITH PEOPLE'S RELIGIONS!!! AND SECOND, WHAT IF THE WATER DOESN'T LAND EXACTLY ONTO THE PAIL, HMM!? WHAT IF THE ROCK MISSES THE BUTTON!? WHAT IF THE PENDULUM IS ONE INCH OFF!? IT MESSES UP THE WHOLE PLAN!!!"
"Well, sorry!" said Harry. "But it's my plan, and it's going to work!"
Voldemort sat down.
Harry released the rope tied to the table.
"I've gotta see this!" said Ron and Hermione together.
***
The first part worked beautifully. The rope released just fine.
The second part worked perfect, too, and Ron and Hermione watched in amazement as the pail fell onto the lever, and the rock hit the button.
"Ooh!" squealed McGonagall, feeling the brush of the rock on her bottom. She turned and slapped Professor Flitwick.
The giant hook raised, and, by the time it had gotten to the ceiling, it started to swing.
It was gradual, but the silver hook was slowly swinging and lowering at the same time. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all watched as the hook got lower and lower. Soon, it was swinging past the teacher's tables... then the Ravenclaw tables... and soon, it was above the Gryffindor tables!
"It's amazing how no one but us notices this." Said Hermione.
The pendulum lowered! It was directly over Voldemort's head! His tiara wouldn't be on it for long now!
And still, lower!
Louder! Er, lower. [No, not louder. Ignore the louder. I just got caught up in the Poe spirit, is all.]
Lou- LOWER! [Curse you, Edgar Allan Poe!]
"Yes..." said Harry as the hook went past him... "Yes..."
The hook flew over Voldemort's tiara on the backswing.
"On this swing..."
WOOSH!
"Er..." said Harry as the hook came close, but didn't rip of the tiara. "Er... next swing..."
WOOSH!
"Next one..."
WOOSH!
"OKAY!" said Harry, annoyed now. "This one, FOR SURE!"
The hook arched back... Harry got ready for a ripping sound...
BRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGG!!!
What!? That wasn't a ripping sound...
And then Harry realized it was the bell.
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed Harry as Voldemort casually got up, moved away, and let the hook pass exactly where his tiara would have been.
***
Ha, disappointing ending, yes? Well, Harry never gets discouraged! Until next chapter, folks!
REVIEW!
AND ALL POSITIVE!
Except for the one from Chavalah Maresca, who was jealous that my stories got plenty of reviews and his/hers didn't.
Could any of you please send a review to any of his/her stories (click on his/her name in my review page, in ch. 1 reviews), to stop him/her from flaming innocent humor writers?
Only if you want to, as I think having no reviews should teach him/her good enough a lesson, rather than reviews in pity. I mean, I've asked you about 359 times to review my stories, I don't think it would be wise for me to ask you to review others'.
IGNORE MY NOTES AT THE START OF CHAPTER TEN!!!
Okay, anyway, er... OH NO, I DON'T HAVE ANYMORE NOTES!!!
Noooo!!! Oh, wait- it's not that serious.
Okay, er... uh... yeah... I guess I'll put the Disclaimer out.
Disclaimer: Who am I? Who are you? Who is Harry Potter? One thing's for sure- I don't own him.
***
"The Plan," said Harry, leaning over to whisper to Ron and Hermione, "is that I plan to knock this phony's tiara off!"
"And how?" asked Ron skeptically.
"Do you see those complicated system of ropes and pulleys I set up over all of the tables?"
"No, I don't." said Hermione, looking all over the place.
"Why not, they're... D'OH!" screamed Harry, slapping himself in the face.
***
Twenty minutes later, Harry came back to the table, breathing hard.
"There, I set them up." Said Harry.
"Yeah." Said Ron. "It's amazing how you did that without anyone recognizing you or what you were doing."
"Yes, it is." Replied Harry. "Now, anyway, my plan is, when Voldemort sits down,"
Ron gave a shudder.
"As I was saying," said Harry, distracted by the shudder, "When Voldemort sits down-"
Ron gave another shudder.
"STOP IT! When Voldemort sits down,"
Ron gave yet another shudder.
"Ron," said Harry through clenched teeth, "WILL YOU STOP SHUDDERING!?"
"I-I'll try." Said Ron.
"When Voldemort-"
Ron gave a shudder.
"When Volde-"
Ron gave still ANOTHER shudder.
"WHEN VOL-"
Shudder.
"WHEN-"
Shudder.
"RON!!!" screamed Harry.
"Harry," said Hermione patiently, "Why don't you start from AFTER You- Know-Who sits down?"
Harry sighed. "If I must."
"Good." Said Ron, breathing a sigh of relief.
"Anyway, after he sits down, he'll be in perfect position for me to release this rope!" said Harry, gesturing to a rope that was tied to the leg of one of the tables. "The rope will cause that heavy stone over there to fall, and when it falls, it will pull another rope, which, in turn, will hoist up a hook with a pail full of water!
"Now, the pail will fall sharply when the rock finishes falling, onto the lowered end of a lever with yet another rock on the raised end..."
"Shouldn't the pail fall onto the RAISED end, and the ROCK be on the LOWERED end?" asked Hermione.
Harry glared at Hermione with fire in his eyes.
"Sorry... just... evaluating..." said Hermione meekly.
***
"Okay!" said Harry thirty seconds later, after fixing the lever. "Anyway, when the pail falls on the RAISED end..."
Hermione gave an embarrassed giggle.
"The lever will flip the second stone up, which will then land on a button right behind McGonagall! The button will start a system of ropes which will raise a HUGE hook up, and, when the hook reaches maximum height, it will start to swing freely, like a pendulum!
"Now, the pendulum will get lower and lower, swinging with more and more strength, and when it finally gets low enough, IT WILL SNATCH THE TIARA RIGHT OFF OF VOLDEMORT'S HEAD!!!"
Ron gave a shudder, and then commented on Harry's plan.
"Harry..." said Ron.
"Yes?" replied Harry, prouder than ever, because he came up with this complicated plan that his best friend was about to praise.
"THAT IS THE WORST PLAN I'VE EVER HEARD OF!"
Well, so much for praise.
"I MEAN FIRST OF ALL," went on Ron, "IT'S NEEDLESSLY COMPLEX! BUCKETS OF WATER, ROPES, PULLEYS, YOU CAN'T JUST USE A SUMMONING SPELL TO YANK THE BLOODY TIARA OFF!?"
"And you can't?" retaliated Harry.
"NO, I DON'T MESS WITH PEOPLE'S RELIGIONS!!! AND SECOND, WHAT IF THE WATER DOESN'T LAND EXACTLY ONTO THE PAIL, HMM!? WHAT IF THE ROCK MISSES THE BUTTON!? WHAT IF THE PENDULUM IS ONE INCH OFF!? IT MESSES UP THE WHOLE PLAN!!!"
"Well, sorry!" said Harry. "But it's my plan, and it's going to work!"
Voldemort sat down.
Harry released the rope tied to the table.
"I've gotta see this!" said Ron and Hermione together.
***
The first part worked beautifully. The rope released just fine.
The second part worked perfect, too, and Ron and Hermione watched in amazement as the pail fell onto the lever, and the rock hit the button.
"Ooh!" squealed McGonagall, feeling the brush of the rock on her bottom. She turned and slapped Professor Flitwick.
The giant hook raised, and, by the time it had gotten to the ceiling, it started to swing.
It was gradual, but the silver hook was slowly swinging and lowering at the same time. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all watched as the hook got lower and lower. Soon, it was swinging past the teacher's tables... then the Ravenclaw tables... and soon, it was above the Gryffindor tables!
"It's amazing how no one but us notices this." Said Hermione.
The pendulum lowered! It was directly over Voldemort's head! His tiara wouldn't be on it for long now!
And still, lower!
Louder! Er, lower. [No, not louder. Ignore the louder. I just got caught up in the Poe spirit, is all.]
Lou- LOWER! [Curse you, Edgar Allan Poe!]
"Yes..." said Harry as the hook went past him... "Yes..."
The hook flew over Voldemort's tiara on the backswing.
"On this swing..."
WOOSH!
"Er..." said Harry as the hook came close, but didn't rip of the tiara. "Er... next swing..."
WOOSH!
"Next one..."
WOOSH!
"OKAY!" said Harry, annoyed now. "This one, FOR SURE!"
The hook arched back... Harry got ready for a ripping sound...
BRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGG!!!
What!? That wasn't a ripping sound...
And then Harry realized it was the bell.
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed Harry as Voldemort casually got up, moved away, and let the hook pass exactly where his tiara would have been.
***
Ha, disappointing ending, yes? Well, Harry never gets discouraged! Until next chapter, folks!
REVIEW!