Oh, boy!
160 reviews!? Man, I'm doing well!
Ha, maybe I'll hit 200 soon! Oh well, right now, that can only be a dream.
Anyway, for those of you wondering, this story will soon be over in a few chapters.
APRIL FOOLS!
Wait... it's not April...
Anyway, onward!
Disclaimer: A little to the left... oh, yeah, that's good... oh, wait, I do not own Harry Potter. Are you happy? Good. Now go read the chapter. I'm in the middle of a massage! Oh yeah... good...
***
By the time April had come, Harry still hadn't gotten the tiara off of Voldemort.
And as a rainy April turned into a bright and cheery May, Harry was getting kind of discouraged.
"Harry, it's just not meant to be!" said Ron, on the way to Defense against the Dark Arts with the rest. "Maybe he has some sort of charm on it, I don't know..."
Harry just grumbled. "Okay, whatever." He said in a low mutter.
Harry entered the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom. Over the past few months, he had wondered WHY Voldemort had come. It was to kill him, he was sure, but, thought Harry as an Avada Kedavra curse just barely missed him, he wondered why he hadn't tried yet.
***
"Curses!" cursed Voldemort as his spell missed. He didn't dare try another one, as one of the boy's dim-witted friends was sure to notice. He adjusted his tiara as the class came in; making sure it was on dead-center of his head. He had put a charm on it, of course, so that no one could tell from any of his body features that he was Voldemort. It was a really good spell, too, as none of his features actually changed.
But somehow, that Potter boy could see through it. Voldemort had a dull feeling that it had to do with the connection between them, but then he dismissed it. He knew it wasn't an appropriate time to think of this, but he loved to dismiss things. He had dismissed the good side, he had dismissed deodorant, and he had dismissed the very logical thought that he had just had. But that wasn't what he should be thinking of right now. What he should be thinking of was the lesson THAT WOULD HAVE HARRY POTTER'S DEATH ACCIDENTALY OCCOUR IN IT!
***
Harry walked in to a smiling Voldemort. That smile made him sick.
"Today," said Voldemort, smiling, "We will work with an extremely dangerous solution, the deaaaaaaaa... er, the death- NO, NOT DEATH, I mean, the deaa... uh, death... no, not death... the, uh... the... the DEATHI solution!"
"But Professor Spring, sir!" piped up Hermione, waving her hand in the air. "Sir, that bottle with the solution in it that you're holding has "DEATH SOLUTION" written in huge, bold, red, glowing letters on it!"
"Er..." said Voldemort, ripping off the label and casting it aside, "No it doesn't!"
"Sir," said Hermione again, "The label you just ripped off of the bottle has those words on it, then!"
"SHUT UP, GIRL, OR I'LL SET ALL OF MY DEATH EATERS ON YOUR TWO PUNY MUGGLE PARENTS OF YOURS!" screamed Voldemort.
The whole class was silent.
"See?" said Harry triumphantly. "He has death eaters! He's Voldemort!"
The whole class shuddered.
"Er... No I'm not!" said Voldemort. "My boy, you are sadly mistaken! I didn't say Death Eaters..."
"YES YOU DID!!!" shouted Harry, appalled at the surprisingly weak attempt to throw off suspicion.
"No... I, er... I said Meth Pleaters."
The whole class let out an "Ohhhhhh..." of understanding.
Harry couldn't believe it. "METH PLEATER!? WHAT THE HECK'S A METH PLEATER!?"
Voldemort smiled again, and Harry felt sick. "That's for me to know, and you to find out!"
Harry nearly smashed his head into his desk in rage. How could his class not realize he was Voldemort!? How!? Why didn't they ask what a Meth Pleater was!? What was a Meth Pleater anyway!? Was it real!? Why hadn't Voldemort tried to kill him!? Why was he asking so many questions without even bothering to think them, and make the author say them!? Why was the author even typing them outside of Harry's thoughts!? Why not put quotes around this whole section!?
Why!?
Why!?
WHYYYYYYYYY!?
"WWWWWWWWWHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?" screamed Harry at the top of his lungs.
"Because Venus tells pencils to dance." Responded Ron.
"What!?"
"Sorry." Said Ron. "I was just answering your query about my statement."
"What was your statement?" wondered Harry, but Hermione covered Ron's mouth before he could answer.
"You don't want to know." Said Hermione.
"Anyway..." sneered Voldemort, "The most important things about Death sol... I mean, DEATHI solutions, is that ONLY kids who are 16 years old that have jet black hair, green eyes, a scar that's shaped like a lightning bolt, are kind of on the short side, have knobby knees, and have escaped me... ER, I MEAN the Dark Lord at least three times can drink it without any effect being done to them."
"Hmm..." wondered Harry aloud, "who could that be..."
Voldemort looked at Harry in amazement.
"And their name must be Potter." He added.
"Oh, I know who it is! Wait... no I don't."
"HARRY Potter!"
"Oh, that's me!" said Harry, picking up the solution.
"Yes..." said Voldemort... "Drink, fool, drink, and death shall be instantaneous!"
Harry took a big drink of the entire solution.
"YES!!!" screamed Voldemort, happier than he had ever been. "Oh, YES!"
Nothing happened to Harry.
"What!?" shouted Voldemort. "I THOUGHT YOU DRANK THE DEATHI SOLUTION!!!"
"I did?" asked Harry, surprised. "Oh, no I didn't! You just told me to drink 'the' solution. And, what do you know; the MOST HARMLESS SOLUTION IN THE WORLD was lying on my desk. I guess I took it instead of the other one!"
Voldemort just stared at Harry in amazement, and then at the untouched Deathi solution on Harry's desk, next to another empty solution bottle.
The bell then rang.
"NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed Voldemort. "CCCCCUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRSSSSSSEEEEEEE YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU HHHHHHHHAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY PPPPPPPPOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEERRRRR!!!"
The whole class stared at him.
"Er..." said Voldemort, embarrassed, "Why haven't you left yet?"
"Because only one second has passed since the bell rang, VOLDEMORT!" shouted Harry.
The whole class shuddered.
***
Heh, nice way to end a chapter, yes? Next chapter: Something happens!
Now review, yo. I don't mind if you review the whole chapter, just do it, yo!
Peace! _
160 reviews!? Man, I'm doing well!
Ha, maybe I'll hit 200 soon! Oh well, right now, that can only be a dream.
Anyway, for those of you wondering, this story will soon be over in a few chapters.
APRIL FOOLS!
Wait... it's not April...
Anyway, onward!
Disclaimer: A little to the left... oh, yeah, that's good... oh, wait, I do not own Harry Potter. Are you happy? Good. Now go read the chapter. I'm in the middle of a massage! Oh yeah... good...
***
By the time April had come, Harry still hadn't gotten the tiara off of Voldemort.
And as a rainy April turned into a bright and cheery May, Harry was getting kind of discouraged.
"Harry, it's just not meant to be!" said Ron, on the way to Defense against the Dark Arts with the rest. "Maybe he has some sort of charm on it, I don't know..."
Harry just grumbled. "Okay, whatever." He said in a low mutter.
Harry entered the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom. Over the past few months, he had wondered WHY Voldemort had come. It was to kill him, he was sure, but, thought Harry as an Avada Kedavra curse just barely missed him, he wondered why he hadn't tried yet.
***
"Curses!" cursed Voldemort as his spell missed. He didn't dare try another one, as one of the boy's dim-witted friends was sure to notice. He adjusted his tiara as the class came in; making sure it was on dead-center of his head. He had put a charm on it, of course, so that no one could tell from any of his body features that he was Voldemort. It was a really good spell, too, as none of his features actually changed.
But somehow, that Potter boy could see through it. Voldemort had a dull feeling that it had to do with the connection between them, but then he dismissed it. He knew it wasn't an appropriate time to think of this, but he loved to dismiss things. He had dismissed the good side, he had dismissed deodorant, and he had dismissed the very logical thought that he had just had. But that wasn't what he should be thinking of right now. What he should be thinking of was the lesson THAT WOULD HAVE HARRY POTTER'S DEATH ACCIDENTALY OCCOUR IN IT!
***
Harry walked in to a smiling Voldemort. That smile made him sick.
"Today," said Voldemort, smiling, "We will work with an extremely dangerous solution, the deaaaaaaaa... er, the death- NO, NOT DEATH, I mean, the deaa... uh, death... no, not death... the, uh... the... the DEATHI solution!"
"But Professor Spring, sir!" piped up Hermione, waving her hand in the air. "Sir, that bottle with the solution in it that you're holding has "DEATH SOLUTION" written in huge, bold, red, glowing letters on it!"
"Er..." said Voldemort, ripping off the label and casting it aside, "No it doesn't!"
"Sir," said Hermione again, "The label you just ripped off of the bottle has those words on it, then!"
"SHUT UP, GIRL, OR I'LL SET ALL OF MY DEATH EATERS ON YOUR TWO PUNY MUGGLE PARENTS OF YOURS!" screamed Voldemort.
The whole class was silent.
"See?" said Harry triumphantly. "He has death eaters! He's Voldemort!"
The whole class shuddered.
"Er... No I'm not!" said Voldemort. "My boy, you are sadly mistaken! I didn't say Death Eaters..."
"YES YOU DID!!!" shouted Harry, appalled at the surprisingly weak attempt to throw off suspicion.
"No... I, er... I said Meth Pleaters."
The whole class let out an "Ohhhhhh..." of understanding.
Harry couldn't believe it. "METH PLEATER!? WHAT THE HECK'S A METH PLEATER!?"
Voldemort smiled again, and Harry felt sick. "That's for me to know, and you to find out!"
Harry nearly smashed his head into his desk in rage. How could his class not realize he was Voldemort!? How!? Why didn't they ask what a Meth Pleater was!? What was a Meth Pleater anyway!? Was it real!? Why hadn't Voldemort tried to kill him!? Why was he asking so many questions without even bothering to think them, and make the author say them!? Why was the author even typing them outside of Harry's thoughts!? Why not put quotes around this whole section!?
Why!?
Why!?
WHYYYYYYYYY!?
"WWWWWWWWWHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?" screamed Harry at the top of his lungs.
"Because Venus tells pencils to dance." Responded Ron.
"What!?"
"Sorry." Said Ron. "I was just answering your query about my statement."
"What was your statement?" wondered Harry, but Hermione covered Ron's mouth before he could answer.
"You don't want to know." Said Hermione.
"Anyway..." sneered Voldemort, "The most important things about Death sol... I mean, DEATHI solutions, is that ONLY kids who are 16 years old that have jet black hair, green eyes, a scar that's shaped like a lightning bolt, are kind of on the short side, have knobby knees, and have escaped me... ER, I MEAN the Dark Lord at least three times can drink it without any effect being done to them."
"Hmm..." wondered Harry aloud, "who could that be..."
Voldemort looked at Harry in amazement.
"And their name must be Potter." He added.
"Oh, I know who it is! Wait... no I don't."
"HARRY Potter!"
"Oh, that's me!" said Harry, picking up the solution.
"Yes..." said Voldemort... "Drink, fool, drink, and death shall be instantaneous!"
Harry took a big drink of the entire solution.
"YES!!!" screamed Voldemort, happier than he had ever been. "Oh, YES!"
Nothing happened to Harry.
"What!?" shouted Voldemort. "I THOUGHT YOU DRANK THE DEATHI SOLUTION!!!"
"I did?" asked Harry, surprised. "Oh, no I didn't! You just told me to drink 'the' solution. And, what do you know; the MOST HARMLESS SOLUTION IN THE WORLD was lying on my desk. I guess I took it instead of the other one!"
Voldemort just stared at Harry in amazement, and then at the untouched Deathi solution on Harry's desk, next to another empty solution bottle.
The bell then rang.
"NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed Voldemort. "CCCCCUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRSSSSSSEEEEEEE YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU HHHHHHHHAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY PPPPPPPPOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEERRRRR!!!"
The whole class stared at him.
"Er..." said Voldemort, embarrassed, "Why haven't you left yet?"
"Because only one second has passed since the bell rang, VOLDEMORT!" shouted Harry.
The whole class shuddered.
***
Heh, nice way to end a chapter, yes? Next chapter: Something happens!
Now review, yo. I don't mind if you review the whole chapter, just do it, yo!
Peace! _