A/N: ::bows low:: I am extremely sorry for the long wait on this chapter, and I wouldn't blame any of you if I got flames about that this time 'round. But unfortunately, the Internet connection at my house has been down for about a month now, and even more unfortunate, is the fact that it looks like it will continue to be down for at least another week. However, that will not affect my writing, and I hope to be able to update more frequently now that I'll access to the school library once more. That said… on with the newest chapter. Enjoy! ('thank you's at the bottom)

Disclaimer: Let's see now… I don't own TV dinners, I don't own South Park, I don't own Charmed, I don't own the Spanish Inquisition (though I hear they're hiring… hmmm… always have like those nice red uniforms…), I don't own Monty Python (wish I did…), I don't own the Jungle Cruise (which can grow up to be 200 feet in length, and jump over 25 feet… ooooooooo! Hairless Monkeys!), and I'd probably have to cause myself physical harm if I owned Trading Spaces. I do however, own some stale cheese… So if you're into that kind of dairy product, feel free to sue me for it.

The Student, the Typhoon, and the Closet

**Chapter 8**

Sooner than I expected, I found myself fumbling for my keys outside my front door. Vash and I had spent the better part of the day at the mall, and I hated to admit it, but I was exhausted. What a day… and I can hardly believe that Vash still wanted that tour of the mall I promised him… so tired…

As soon as I managed to get the door open, I realized just how welcoming my couch looked at that moment. I stumbled over and somehow managed to get my purse off my shoulder just before I fell forward, giving in to gravity and happily assuring myself that lovely soft couch cushions would break my fall.

Unfortunately, it would seem that those plans were thwarted…

"Er… Vash? You can… drop me. It's okay… I kinda wanted to fall on the couch…." I muttered, not entirely displeased at the fact that I was suspended somewhere between where I had previously been standing and the couch that I so desperately wanted to collapse on. Hey, at least he worried enough to catch you…

"Oh! Sorry!" he replied. However, instead of just letting me continue my rapid descent towards the couch as I had hoped, I suddenly found myself being swept up into the air and ever so gently being laid down onto the soft cushions.

"Thanks…" I muttered, too tired to really care how I got to the couch, so long as I was there. I could just feel Vash's inquisitive look, but I decided I would just have to deal with it later, as I was slowly beginning to slip into a peacefully warm slumber… when my stomach caught up with me and made other plans.

So hungry… I groaned and shoved myself off the couch. Sleep would just have to wait, first, food.

"Hey, you alright?" came Vash's voice from somewhere beside me as I stumbled into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm fine. And I'll be even better once I eat something. I don't know about you, but I'm starved!" I said flashing him a quick grin. "So… what'll it be, hmmm?" I muttered as I began to paw through my fridge. No, we had TV dinners last night… ugh, I do not want anything made from stale cheese… who put that there anyway? I frowned, nothing seemed edible.

With a heavy sigh, I closed the fridge, leaning against the counter. Closing my eyes, I took mental stock of all the food in the house, and decided I definitely did not feel like cooking.

"What's wrong?"

Opening one eye, I found a slightly concerned gunman staring me in the face. I sighed. "Nothing really, I just don't feel like cooking, and I don't find anything 'pre-made' particularly appetizing at the moment… damn my picky tastes."

Vash merely laughed at me. "If you want, I could make something."

I raised one eyebrow, this was interesting. Here I have Gunsmoke's most feared and wanted man, in my kitchen, and he's offering to cook me dinner. Okay… is he one of the four signs of the apocalypse, or was that horsemen? Wait… does he even know how to cook? I wondered, skeptical.

Vash frowned at my expression, "Hey! I can cook you know! What do you think I did when I was hungry and in the middle of some desert? Pull out one of those 'phones' you've got here and tell someone to bring me something from the nearest bar?"

He did have a point, I mean, he probably learned something living on his own for all those years. Still… "Wait a minute…. THAT'S IT!" I grinned and ran for the phone, my mind finally comprehending his last sentence.

Vash scratched his head in puzzlement, "What's it?"

I flashed him a happy smile as I dialed one of my favorite little restaurants, "Take out."

~~~*~~~

"What do you call this again?"

"Orange chicken. And that, is chow mien." I said pointing at the newly arrived food.

He looked a bit confused, apparently Rem had neglected to school him in the finer points of delivery. "And that is…"

"Beef and broccoli, and those are egg rolls."

He looked a bit overwhelmed, but nodded. "And this stuff in the bottle?"

"That's Coke, Vash. You drink it." I replied, rolling my eyes.

He looked interested, and unscrewed the cap to the coke bottle, smiling widely at the familiar "fisssshhhh" sound as the carbonated gases escaped the bottle. "Is it anything like beer?"

I laughed, "No… it's non-alcoholic. But it's got enough sugar in it to give you a buzz anyway."

He looked slightly disappointed, but interested nonetheless. Still chuckling, I took the opened two-liter from him and poured us a couple of glasses. Then I grabbed two plates from the cupboard and filled both plates with portions of my favorite kinds of Americanized Chinese food. "There. Eat." I told him, heading for the living room.

Picking up his plate, he quickly followed me and sat down on the couch just as I began to channel surf for something interesting to watch while we ate. "Uh, hey… just how do you eat this stuff?" he questioned.

I shook my head amused, "Sometimes I forget you don't know everything yet. Here," I picked up my chopsticks and positioned them quickly between my fingers, using them to pluck a piece of orange chicken from my plate. "Hold them like this…. and then you sort of pinch them together this way to grab the food and then…" I demonstrated my putting the chicken in my mouth and savoring the wonderful taste. "Voila."

Carefully, Vash attempted what I had just shown him, but after several tries I gave up trying to teach him the finer points of chopsticks and handed him a fork. "I'm assuming you know how to use this?" I said mockingly.

He glared at me and speared a stalk of broccoli in response. "I'll take that as a yes then." I said with a laugh.

"So… you sure you can eat this stuff?" Vash muttered, eyeing the orange chicken.

"Yes, trust me. It's good." Since Vash still looked a bit wary, I decided to show him just how safe it was by eating a bit of everything all at once. "'ee? Ish per'eckee 'afe." I said through a mouthful of food.

"What language was that??"

I finished it off with a mouthful of Coke to wash it down. "It's called talking with your mouth full of food needle noggin'. I said, 'it's perfectly safe'. Just try it."

Gingerly, Vash stuck a piece of orange chicken with his fork and tasted it, but not before shooting me a look that clearly meant, "this'd better not be poison."

"Hey! This is pretty good!" He exclaimed, giving me that wide, dopey grin of his. "Not as good as donuts, but definitely better than a salmon sandwich!" he finished, gulping down the rest of the food on his plate and reaching for seconds from the various takeout boxes.

I laughed at the spectacle before me, salmon sandwiches? Poor boy, Gunsmoke doesn't sound like it has the best catering. I shook my head, still trying to find something decent to watch. Hmmmm, don't think he'd like "South Park"… way too violent. No, not "Charmed"… that'd go right over his head. "Trading Spaces"?? Good lord no! "Feh…" I muttered disgustedly as I turned off the TV and tossed the remote to the side. "Well, there's nothing worth watching on TV I guess."

He swallowed his fourth glass of Coke. "Do you always watch 'TV' when you eat?"

"No… not when my parents are home. But I find it makes for good company when you're home alone." I replied, grabbing more orange chicken for myself.

"You live with your parents?" he asked, a bit perplexed.

"So? I'm a starving college freshman who doesn't even have a real job yet. I really don't think that living solo is in the cards just yet." I retorted.

"That's not what I meant. I just thought you lived alone since I've been here for two days now and the only people I've met are you, your friend, and that tall guy she hangs out with." Vash replied innocently, counting off all the people he knew this world on one hand.

He's got a point there… "Oh, right. Well, they're on vacation for the next few weeks, so I've got the house to myself. Which is great because I really don't know how I'd explain to them that my favorite blonde haired, wanted outlaw 'magically' appeared in my closet one day. I mean, what would I say? 'Hi Mom, who's this? Oh… just some guy who showed up in my closet. How'd he get there? Don't know, but is it okay if he stays here for awhile? Yes I know he's got a gun…'" I sighed. "It'd just be a bit too weird for them to take I think."

Vash nodded solemnly, and for once stopped his Chinese food frenzy. He looked suddenly, dejected, and it pained me to see him that way. "Hey! It's not like it's your fault! I mean, you didn't wake up one morning and say 'hey, I think I'd like to show up in some girl's closet on Earth and hang out there for awhile'. Right?"

He laughed, "Well actually, I've always thought it'd be kinda nice to live on Earth, but I never thought I'd go back in time and actually see it. And I definitely didn't think I'd get here through someone's closet!"

I grinned, "See? It's really kind of funny when you think about it. You should really learn to act like yourself a little more while you're here, Vash." I said as I stood and gathered up the trash left over from our meal. "No one's going to chase you, so there's really no need for you to hide behind all those masks you wear is there?" I left him no chance to answer as I moved into the kitchen to toss out the trash and clean up a bit.

~~~*~~~

Later that night, after ordering even more Chinese food and watching a random movie I pulled from my collection, I realized that I had neglected to ever fetch Vash blankets for the chair he was about to go to sleep in once more. Liz no baka! Some hostess you are! With an annoyed growl I headed for the hall closet to get Vash a blanket.

"Isn't it past your bedtime?" came mocking voice from behind me.

"Yes, mother… but I just realized that you've been sleeping in that chair of mine for the last two nights without so much as pillow." I retorted, reaching for a nice warm fleece blanket on the top shelf.

Vash pouted mockingly and whined, "Do you really think I look like your mother? Eesh."

"Hey! You've never met my mother! She's prettier than you and-… why am I having this argument?"

He merely shrugged and grinned amusedly. "You started it."

"Real mature, donut-boy. Here…" I said, handing him the blanket and pillow I had just fetched. "Those should make it easier to sleep in that old chair of mine."

"Thanks." He grinned, "Oh… and I was thinking, about what you said before…"

Ummmmm… is he talking about when I told him that nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition and their chief weapon is surprise, and fear. I mean their two chief weapons are- wait, no…. that's an episode of Monty Python…

"I think you might be right." came Vash's voice to once again break my train of thought.

"Come again?" I asked, raising one eyebrow in question.

The great and mighty gunman suddenly seemed to be very nervous, and held one hand behind his head in a habitual way. "Um… what I mean is… that thing you said before… that I don't have to hide here? I was thinking that you're right, since from what you and your friend have told me, there really isn't any way for me to be a danger to others here."

I smiled, Vash finally seemed to get it. "Exactly. So you can drop the over-done cheery bit, alright? Learn to be yourself for once… you'd be surprised at how many people will like you. Besides, maybe that's why you wound up here, to learn how to quit protecting the entire human race every second of every day."

He smiled, only slightly, and looked deep in thought for a moment. "Well… I guess it's a good theory…"

"And the only one we've got at the moment…" I chuckled softly. "You really are too serious." I added with a yawn. "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm kinda beat after that day we had, so… 'night Vash." I said, curling up under the covers and finally allowing myself to submit to the sleep I longed for.

"Night Liz."

I bolted upright in an instant, staring at him in shock and amused amazement.

"What??" Vash cried, obviously startled by my action.

I smiled, finally getting a hold of myself. "Nothing… you're learning is all."

Vash looked at me as though I was insane, of course, considering the situation he probably wasn't all that far off in his assumption. I shook my head, "I'll explain later… 'night Vash."

He shrugged, then yawned. "Night Liz."

In the entire anime, not once have I heard him use Meryl or Millie's names. I shook my head in wonder. And he's supposed to have known them for what… three, four years by the end of the series? And yet two days after having met me, and he uses my name as casually as though he's known me for years…

Well what do you know… he really is learning something…

~~~*~~~

A/N: ::sighs relieved:: Man… I thought I'd never finish that chapter! ::rurouni grin:: So???? R/R please! It's what I live for!

Thestral: ::rurouni grin:: Merci beaucoup. So… qu'est-ce que tu pense? ::laughs:: Well… here's hoping my French isn't as rusty as I think it is, ne?

doomsdaybringer: ::laughs:: Yeah, probably. I mean, I seem to recall him doing something similar when he first met Millie, right? ::frowns:: Maybe I'm hallucinating… Thanks for the review!

Koya Maki: Ooooo…. I don't know why either but it does sound cute, just as long as you don't put him in shorts… And thanks for the review!

Sakura Phoenix: 1) YAY! And I apologize for not updating as fast as I wanted to… so we're even!

2)Double YAY! Email me when it is uploaded so I can read it.

::rurouni grin:: Feh… I don't even speak Spanish so I can't tell you if you used that right, but YAY! Thanks for reviewing!

theWolf24: dunno if I emailed you about this before, but no you wouldn't! We don't mind if you write something like it! Really! Go 'head! ^____^x And yesh! Donut-boy! I we came up with it randomly one day after watching an episode or two. Thanks for the review!

"Tak": ::blushes:: Sessha does not deserve such praise… ::laughs:: But bad grammar can be fun! Thanks!

DarkFireKitsune: Thanks, and I tried to update sooner! Really I did!

Pudding333: But it's such a great username anyway, even if it wasn't necessarily intended to be Millie related! ^_^x And thanks! Here's hoping I'll be able to do the next chapter sooner than this last one!

Luna-Kitsune-Blu: ::hands you sakabatou to whack comp with:: Will this help? ::laughs:: Hooray! A bodyguard! ::claps hands gleefully:: I'm glad you liked it, and fortunately for me… no flames! ::rurouni grin::

LifelongStampedeK: Thanks!

FluffysBijin05: Thank you very much, and you're welcome of course! ::rurouni grin::

Lady Venom2: Yes, it was kinda hard…. ::laughs:: Worried? Now why would you be worried? And if you want more of her lifestyle, try reading her fic, "The Student, The Wizard, and The Closet" Thanks for the review!

dragonair: Honestly, I don't know how I find time to write them… they just sort of crowd my head and demand to be written, so I do. ::rurouni grin:: And let's see…. to be perfectly honest, I found out about RK randomly by watching Toonami when they were still airing episodes. I just sort of fell in love with it, so I started to read the manga online and collect the DVDs. And Trigun… well, same thing, only I saw it on Adult Swim. And fav. character? Hmmmm….I think I have to go with my beloved rurouni. Though I must admit, Kaoru-chan and rooster head tie at a close second. Thanks for the review!

Saberpilot: ::claps:: YAY! I was afraid someone would think that little bit in the dressing room was too much, so I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the review!

Aaringo: YAY! I always love getting reviews from you! Exactly! I'm glad you get the fact that he's not always happy-cheery person. ^__________^x ::sheepish look:: And yeah… I've never even read the manga… simply because I can't find it in English anywhere, nor can I find a decent online translation! ::pouts:: But I have seen the entire series four times… I think… maybe more… ::shrugs, then giggles:: And I don't know about Stephie… you'd have to ask her yourself… but hmmmmmmm…. maybe I'll ask her! ::laughs:: Ahhhh, for a Stephie chapter, you'll have to read her fic, "the Student, the Wizard, and the Closet" And I do plan on alternating POVs every once in a while, so don't worry! ::rurouni grin::

AHHHHH! ::falls over anime style:: I know! I know! But I can't tell you until "Vash and I" figure out how he got in my closet and stuff, since we don't know what's happening there ourselves. Don't hurt me! ::runs and hides behind Vash:: Well, okay… so that was a bit much but still! ::giggles:: Thanks for the reviews!