AN: Okay, the Spellchecker officially hates me. I can't help it that Souten is having trouble talking. Yes, the stuttering is important. When you're having a mild panic attack and you're having trouble breathing, you can't talk straight. I'd know. I've had a few panic attacks myself (a curse upon all math class everywhere!) Souten's panic attack is based off mine, except that I've made hers milder. Most of my attacks are so bad, I'll crying for over thirty-minutes. That means when you talk no one, except you, can understand the words that are coming out of your mouth. However, it's important that Shippo understand Souten, so it's just a mild attack. Besides, she's had time to calm down a bit.
Also, Souten, because of oxygen deficiency, will have trouble functioning Please, bear with her.
Chapter 29: Hopeful Gloom
I glanced around, and quickly sniffed the air to find Souten's scent trail. Her natural scent was now tainted with fear and confusion. There was also the lingering aroma of salt that surrounded her trail. I knew the scents of fear well; I myself had radiated it constantly during my stay at the institute. I simply couldn't place the smell of salt
'Why does Souten smell like salt?' I wondered. There was something familiar about the scent, however. I felt like I should know it as well as I knew the scent of fear.
"She's crying." I decided after a minute of thought. "That's the smell of salt."
I wondered why it had taken me so long to remember it, but I knew that I hadn't smelt the scent of tears since I had last cried.
'When was that?' I thought to myself, as I began to follow Souten's scent. 'Oh. Right. When I killed my parent's murderers. No. When I killed Souten's brothers.'
I stopped short as I heard a chorus of screams and yells coming from the meeting area. I looked back but didn't see anything. I frowned in confusion and looked up at the pre-storm sky. After a few minutes of searching my surrounding for the source of the continued yelling, I moved to return, but stopped.
I was torn between my duty to my lord and my need to find Souten. Biting my lip, I was about to turn and leave, when I noticed something rising into the sky. It was a large pillar made of earth and stone. I strained my eyes and, as I watched, the platform rose into the air and I saw a few bodies fall from to the ground, but they seemed to be controlling their descent. As I watched, though, another form, a smaller form, fell as well, but I lost sight of it after a couple seconds.
Wrenching my eyes from the pillar, I turned on my heels and followed Souten's trail. Now, I wouldn't call myself a coward. It just so happened, that when it came down to a battle or correcting a mistake I had made, I knew where I was. Besides, Lord Sesshomaru hadn't tried to stop me. He could have.
I continued down the scent trace. I almost lost the trail a few times, but I wasn't too worried; I knew that I would be able to find her soon. Even though she was a demon like me, her emotional status would slow her down to almost a humans pace. I finally reached a clearing and saw Souten was sitting next to a tree, holding her nose in an effort to stop crying. I saw that she was still breathing heavily and rapidly, most likely a result of her tears. I checked her for injuries, and saw that her back was raw, but it was probably a result of the back of her shirt had been pulled up, as if she had been leaning against the tree and slid down it.
"Souten?" I whispered, cautiously taking a step forward.
"W-wha-what d'y-ya want?" Souten asked, as she tried to get her breathing under control.
"I just wanted to tell you what happened."
"O-oh, I k-know wh-what happen-ned." Souten stuttered, as her eyes flooded with tears and her breathing grew ragged again.
"I'm not proud that I killed your brothers." I began, and Souten gave a short laugh, as she brushed away her tears.
"A-and would-d you t-tell me if you w-were?" Souten asked, new tears welling up in her eyes.
"Probably not." I agreed, as I took a step closer. Pushing against the tree, Souten tried to get to her feet, but her hand slipped as her knees gave out under her body.
"Look, they killed my parents. They were going to kill me, so I killed them. I didn't want to. I didn't enjoy killing them. I have nightmares about it sometimes."
"I-I'll bet." Souten spat, before breaking down into sobs. "G-god, Shi-shippo! I tr-trusted you. Weren't w-we… were-n't we friend-ds?"
"We were. We still are. Would an enemy give you this?" I asked, as I pulled my gun out of my belt and took a step closer so I could hand it to her.
"W-what?" Souten asked, the surprise slowing her tears.
"I just figured that you'd hate me right about now. You can shot me… if you want." I sighed, stepping away a couple paces. I turned around and waited for the pain of a bullet speeding through my heart. I wasn't sure how good a shot Souten was, and in her present state, I could easily imagine her missing my head and ripping open on of my lungs by accident. I wait for a minute, but nothing happened. There was only silence. I could hear Souten's labored breathing, but she seemed to have stopped crying. Of course, I didn't hear any sounds from the gun either. I frowned, and turned around to see that Souten was just staring at the gun I had given her.
"Well? Aren't you going to shot me?!"
"Why are you doing this? Who would honestly give someone a free shot?" She asked, rubbing her red, blood-shot eyes. Her face was an unnatural blotchy color and her eyes were puffy. I briefly wondered if I looked like that when I was upset. "I just don't understand."
"I… I understand… what you want." I replied, picking my words carefully. "And I want to help you. I want to be your friend."
"Shit." Souten whispered, as she looked down at her lap. "Just shit, Shippo."
"What?" I asked, as I frowned. "What do you mean?"
I was about to repeat my question, when Souten began to giggle. Suddenly, she threw back her head and laughed until she was clutching her sides in pain.
"What a pair of friends we would be." Souten laughed, wiping her eyes. I smiled back and finally, Souten stopped laughing.
"Shippo, do you think we'll ever catch a break?" Souten asked, as she placed her hand on the tree and began to struggle to stand. She looked like she was having a little trouble, and I figured she must still be weak from her crying fit. Smiling slightly, I extended my hand. She looked at my hand and then at me, as if unsure what to do.
"It's honest. I don't want anything in return." I told her. Nodding, Souten took my hand, and I slipped my arm around her waist, while I slung her arm over my shoulder. We started walking towards the base of the mountain. I figured I could borrow someone's cell phone when we reached the parking lot. Of course, I didn't have any money on me, so I really, really, REALLY hopped that the cab driver was willing to wait… or take an IOU.
"Where are we going?" Souten asked.
"We can't go back to the meeting area; it's just a dot in the sky. We'd never be able to jump or climb it." I explained and Souten nodded. We walked through the forest, not speaking, but the silence was comforting.
"Shippo?" Souten asked, when we reached the parking area.
"Hum?"
"You never answered my question." Souten sighed.
"Which one?"
"I believed I phrased it 'Do you think we'll ever catch a break?'"
"No." I replied, being truly honest. "Nothing can change our situation. Not a single think I say will erase my murder of your brothers. Not a think we do will ever eliminate the death of our families from our pasts. But, I think, we can always make the best of it."
"Really? You really think that?" Souten smiled and I nodded. "Then I think we're going to be great friends"