A/N: I think I should just shut up and let you get to the story… yea… that'd be good. ::grin::

Disclaimer: I own my pants. That's about it. And trust me, you don't want my pants.

The Student, the Typhoon, and the Closet

**Chapter 11**

I smiled at the girls as they left, shutting the door and sighing just a little. now what am I supposed to do all day?

"So..." I nearly jumped in surprise, turning around kinda quickly. Oh right, what's-her-name's friend is here, isn't he? I flashed him my best grin to cover my forgetfulness. "Er.... hi!" What was his name again? I think Liz called him 'Lockhart'...

Lockhart smiled what looked like a winning smile that was used too often. "Hello..." he started, probably wondering what to say next. "Do you know about muggle living?"

What the hell's a 'muggle'?? "'Muggles'?" I asked, not really knowing what to say to that. And I thought I came from another planet...

"Muggles, as in non-wizard folk. Obviously don't because if you did you'd know what Muggles are..." he stated with a kind of snobbish tone, sitting down on the sofa-thing.

I tried not to laugh at the obviously confused guy. "You mean people, as in humans? Like Liz and.... Stephie?" I managed to ask seriously.

"Yes, like them... but wait... then if you're not considering yourself with their lot, then what are you if I may ask?"

Oh crap... "Eh heh... er...." I looked around, maybe trying to find a way to escape, or maybe I thought I'd find a way to answer his question by looking at the walls that suddenly seemed a lot closer together than they had a second ago. Whatever I was looking for, I suddenly had one of those... what do you 'em? Oh yea, epiphanies. "Wait a minute.... where are you from?"

"I'm from a wizarding section of London, though my home, if you can call it that, has been in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries."

Okay, never heard of any of those places before... Well, minus London... I thought, a bit more reassured. Still, all those years of being chased around a damn planet have made me kinda skeptical. "So... you live on Earth too, right?"

"Yes of course!" he said, looking like he was half confused and half offended.

Still, I sighed relieved. "Alright then... sorry... I guess I'm just not used to it yet..."

"Not used to what? To being here?"

I sighed again, been doing that a lot lately, and sat down. That and... "That and being able to trust everyone not to kill me." I said with a sort of shrug, I had gotten use to saying that sort of thing by now.

"Not to kill you? Merlin's beard, where are you from that you can't trust people not to kill you???" he exclaimed, actually sounding kind of concerned.

I laughed a little. "It's not their fault... most of them think I killed a bunch of people..." I frowned a little, but then I remembered to add, "Not that I did though! Really!"

"Why would they think that? If I may ask?"

I froze for a split second, not really wanting to tell him... certain things about my past. But then I put my usual smile back in place. "Er.... dunno why!" I told him, glancing over the kitchen. "Man, I'm hungry! I wonder if they've got any donuts here...." I said, maybe a little louder than I needed to, as I shot out of my seat and ran to the kitchen.

Once I was safely inside and away from all what's-his-name's questions, I searched around the kitchen for donuts, and didn't find any. "Damn... guess I'll have to make something...." I muttered, eyeing the cabinets and going over to the fridge, moving stuff around, trying to find something interesting. "Oh hey! Eggs!" I grinned, grabbing the funny shaped paper carton along with a pan I found earlier, figuring that scrambled eggs would be a good breakfast. Okay... so I already had breakfast. Who cares?

Looking back at the other room, I figured it'd be kinda rude not to share. "HEY! Do you want any of this?" I yelled, already adding an extra serving to the eggs already in the pan.

"Any of what, praytell?"

I grinned, "I asked..." I muttered to myself. Of course, I figured he had to be hungry, so I just pulled out two plates anyway. "Guess you don't want any...." I called.

He stood up and walked over to where I was in the kitchen, suddenly looking like he saw something familiar. "Ah! Then yes, I would indeed like some!"

I grinned a happy grin, and turn around to hand Lockhart a plateful of eggs. "Figured you would." I said, walking past him to the table and beginning to... 'snarf'. At least I think that's what Liz said it was...

It was good, but something was missing. I frowned a little, trying to think when it hit me, "KETCHUP!" I jumped up from the table and raced into the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of ketchup I had found in the fridge went back to the table to drench my eggs in it.

"Want some?" I said, holding the bottle out to Lockhart.

He looked at me kind of like he thought I did something funny, but took the bottle and put a little on his plate. "Thank you."

I grinned and practically inhaled what I had left, finishing a split second after Lockhart. Then I remembered what Liz had said about him not really being able to do much for himself. So, I stood up, grabbed his plate out of his hands, and headed for the kitchen to wash them, humming Rem's song as I washed.

"I say! I was going to do that!" he huffed.

I laughed a little at him. "Do you even know how to do the dishes?"

"I do, too! Well... sort of... All right, I don't, but I wanted to try!"

I shook my head, how has this guy lasted this long? "Alright... here..." I waved him over, my hands already soapy from the water.

He grinned a little and came over, picking up a sponge, catching on quickly.

I smiled at his progress, and continued to hum softly out of habit while I dried.

"What's that you're humming?"

"It's a song I learned when I was a kid... I've never really been able to get it out of my head..." I said, not sure if I was talking to him or myself.

"Where did you learn it from?"

"Um... a friend of mine..." Rem... what do I call you? Mom? Or something else...

"Really now? Someone from where you live I can only assume?"

I grinned, "You could say that..." Though she was kind from here too...

He finished the last dish and dried his hands. "Does this friend have a name?" he asked sounding kind of curious.

"Rem."

"A simple but nice name. You must miss Rem." he said, giving my a kind expression.

I smiled and shook my head. "Yeah.... but not as much as before..."

He nodded, but then shook his head at... something. "So..." he started, giving me a grin that said, "what now?"

"Er.... eh heh..." I laughed a little at scratched my head, trying to think of something to do.

"Why don't we..." he thought for a minute, "well we could... hmm..."

Which is when the phone rang.

When I herd it go off, I figured if Lockhart would just keep thinking for a minute or two then maybe I could just-

"Oy, where are you going?"

I flashed him a grin. "Er... eh heh... GOTTA GO!" I cried, racing for the phone and diving for it when it was just within reach. Maybe it'll be Liz calling…

'Course, Lockhart seemed kinda like he wanted to answer it too, what with the way he ran ofter me. "OY! Stephie's house and therefore as her next in, well whatever, I get to answer it!!"

But I always have been pretty fast, long legs I guess. "Hello??"

"Vash? You sound out of breath... what happened? Did he do something??"

I laughed nervously, glancing over the chairs we knocked over on our way to the phone. "No! Everything's fine! Did you want to talk to him?" No one ever calls me… oh well.

"Yes, that would be nice. Thank you Vash."

I looked over at him and offered the reciver, right after I realized I wasn't sure he'd know how to use it. "Uh... here."

He grinned and took it from me, putting it up his ear the wrong way at first. I figured he probably wouldn't want me to correct him… plus it was kinda fun to watch. But he got it the right way after a minute or two. "Hello?"

He laughed kinda like I had a minute before at something Liz's friend said, also looking over at the chairs we had shoved out of the way. We'd better pick those up at some point… "Yes, everything's fine! Will you be home soon? Are you done with school? Or was it work?"

"Oh... all right." I knew I shouldn't be listening. But it wasn't like I had anything else to do, and he was talking kinda loud… almost like he thought you had to yell to be heard on the other end.

He smiled something and said, Yes, of course. Good day." Then he pushed one of the buttons, trying to hang it up, but I don't think he hit the right one because he kept pushing buttons. I smirked and tried to hide my laughter.

He just set the phone down calmly. "Laugh if you will, but I am learning more than I ever thought I would about muggle living."

I shrugged and went into the kitchen, grabbing a bag of cookies I'd found earlier and went to sit on the couch. "Why do you keep calling them 'Muggles'?" I asked, offering the opened bag of chocolate chip cookies.

Taking one, he said, "Oh... that is our term for non-wizarding folk. Like we have the term for witch and wizard and squib."

I chewed thoughtfully on a cookie, half wishing it was a donut. "Wizard.... wizard... OH! They're those people that use that stuff...." I thought for a minute more, "MAGIC! That's right!" I grinned at him, "Rem used to tell us... er... oh yeah! Fairy tales about people like them."

"We're not just fairy tales! We're real just as muggles are." he huffed, sounding kinda angry.

I put up my hands in surrender. "Hey now... I didn't mean anything by it! I just haven't heard of any of you being real!" I chuckled a bit. "I mean, I wouldn't get all upset if you said you'd never heard of me before!" Actually... it'd be a relief!

"But the thing is I don't know what you are so I can't say if I've heard of you or not."

I shook my head, remembering what Liz had told me before she went to class.

~*~

"Fine, you keep up your delusions, but just try and remember that you can just be yourself here Vash."

~*~

Right. Be myself. "It's not what I am... It's who I am. 'Vash the Stampede'... wanted dead or alive for the murder of Count Lebenon Vasquez, guilty of class G property damage... blah blah blah... 60 billion double dollar bounty." I recited it all by heart, I'd gotten used to hearing it everywhere I went so it was kinda stuck in my head. I sighed, "It's kinda depressing to list it all."

Lockhart looked a little confused. "B-but..."

"Hm?"

"B-but that doesn't make sense... why would they think you did all that?"

I sighed heavily, trying to think of the best way of a putting it without scaring the poor guy out of his mind. "Becasue I was there when it happened... every single time..."

He nodded. "I see..." He looked at me for a minute, like he was seeing me for the first time. "So that's why you said everyone was out to get you where you came from?"

"Yeah... funny thing is... most of them don't even believe it's me!" I laughed a little, "They've never believe a strange guy like me could be the terrible 'Vash the Stampede'... " I laughed again, it was kinda funny if I thought about it. "I guess they just can't picture a scrawny guy like me blowing up a town..."

"I can't imagine it either..." he said, grinning a little.

I glanced out the window, suddenly in one of my rare serious moods. "I could if I wanted to..." I closed my eyes and smiled. "But she wouldn't like that."

"She? You mean Rem?"

I grinned. "Yup."

He smiled. "I see."

"So what about you?" I asked, grinning mischeivously.

He just looked kinda confused. "What about me what?"

I grinned, "Hey.. I'm not going to be the only one telling stories here."

"Stories... b-but..."

I laughed, this guy sure did act funny when he was confused and flustered. "Geez! You'd think YOU were the wanted outlaw here from the way you're acting!"

"Well... I'm no wanted outlaw... but my own story is not tea and cakes..." he replied, looking sort of… sheepish.

I laughed again, only this time I was aiming to lighten the poor guy's mood. "Look pal, unless you've got an entire planet full of people who want to kill you, I really don't think there's anything you could do worse than something I've already done." I said with a friendly grin.

He sighed, "Well... I... er that is to say... I'm a fraud. Completely egocentric really. I took credit for others work and modified their memories so they wouldn't contradict me... I er... well... I'm a complete sham and everyone detests me because of it and my egocentricity and cowardice nearly lead to the death of three students."

With another sigh, this one a little more sad than before, he continued. "That's why I was in St. Mungo's... my own charm backfired on me and I lost my memory, and I still haven't gotten it all back... just bits and peices from reading Stephie's books and all..."

I blinked, wasn't expecting that.. I looked at him, trying to judge for myself what kind of person this guy really was. I guess it's the least I can do for him… he doesn't seem to hate me for my past yet anyway… I shrugged. "You made mistakes. So does everyone else, and at least those students you mentioned are all still alive..." Legato... "As long as you realize your mistake and learn from it, there's no reason why you can't become a better person now." I grinned what Liz had once called my "trademark grin". "Besides... this world is made of..." I sat up straight, making sure I used the old standby gestures. "Love and Peace!"

He laughed, "So you don't despise me for all that? You don't think less of me?"

I shook my head, "Do you think less of me because I'm a wanted man?"

"Well you're guiltless, you never did any of those things... I however and guilty of all my mistakes and it's not the same..."

I sighed heavily and fell back against the sofa. Man this guy is dense! "You don't get it do you? I'm not guiltless either. Just because I haven't done everything I'm wanted for doesn't mean I haven't done some of it. Yeah, it was an accident" for the most part... "but all the same, I'm not guilt-free either. But does that make me seem like a horrible person to you?"

He looked down, "Well no... Though you have an instant plus because you were never egocentric." he said, adding a grin of his own.

"Then why do you expect me to think less of you?" I luaghed again, "You really shouldn't put yourself down like that! It's not healthy!"

"It's ironic really... puffing oneself up so much is unhealthy and putting oneself down so much is unhealthy... I'm sure there's a balance there somewhere... "

"Of course there is! And it's called Love and Peace!"

He laughed a little, "Love and Peace, eh?"

"Yes! Love and Peace! It's right up there with donuts!"

"Whatever you say, Vash."

RING! The phone went off again. I jumped up, ready to run after it and grab it, but I sat back down when a thought hit me… It's not going to be for me anyway.

Lockhart still made a mad dash for it, picking it up and hitting a bunch of the buttons before finally finding the right one. "Hello??" he said, sort of excited into the reciever.

A few seconds later I heard him say "Yes, it's me! I learned to answer the phone! I suppose you'll be calling for Vash though?" Me?? Who the heck would call me?

He looked kinda upset when he held out the phone for me. "It's for you, Vash!"

I jumped up and grabbed the phone from him as quick as I could. It's not everday I get a phone call… "Hello??

"Vash?"

"LIZ! Areyoudonewithclassesandcallingtoaskwhatkindofdonutstobring? Huh? Are you??" I asked her all in one breath, Milly's not the only one who can do that.

I heard her laugh, "No.... maybe you should breathe next time you say that."

"Aw..."

"I was just calling to see how you two were doing. Lockhart behaving?" She chuckled a little.

I glanced over at Lockhart. "Yup. We were trading stories."

"Were you now? That's nice. So... everything's okay then?"

"Of course!" What's she worried about anyway?

"Alright well-" Some sort of chimes went off in the background, probably a clock or something. "Bugger... gotta run to class! We'll be back in a few hours... Okay?"

"Alright. See you then!"

"Bye!" The phone on her end clicked off. I tried my best to hide my smug smirk as I pushed the button and clicked off the phone in my hands like I'd done it a million times before.

Lockhart just rolled his eyes at me.

I gave him my best, 'How could an innocent guy like me blow up a town?' look. "What?"

He grinned, "Nothing."

Now I guess it was my turn to roll my eyes, when another thought hit, and I flashed him what I hoped would pass for a wicked grin. "You know how to play cards?"

"Just uno!"

~~~*~~~2 hours and several games of uno later...~~~*~~~

I walked up to the front door, Stephie by my side. "You think they're all right in there?"

She smirked at me. "I certainly hope so... else there'll be Bat Bogey Hexage... " she trailed off and shook her head. "least I wish I could..."

I grinned. "Be nice, wouldn't it?" Yeah Liz, and it'd be nice if you really knew how to use a sakabatou. " Ah well... shall we?" I asked, jerking my head in the direction of the door.

She nodded, unlocking the door then motioning for me to go in first.

"UNO!!!!!"

"What the...." I quickly found myself leaning against the doorframe for support I was laughing so hard. There in front of me, was an extremely pleased Lockhart, doing what I assumed was his own version of a happy dance, with one disgruntled gunman sitting on the floor in front of him, tossing a very full hand of cards to the ground.

"Aiya?? What in the faerying forest??" Stephie asked, a smile just barely evident on her face.

As soon as my laughter subsided enough for me to use my voice again, I glanced over at Vash. "Vash.... just how many times have you lost?"

He pouted adorably, "Don't know... lost track somewhere around 30 I think..."

I just barly caught Stephie's grin out of the corner of my eye as Lockhart turned to us, and asked cheerily, "So did we have a good day?"

"Meh... I suppose. Glad to be home." Stephie replied with a smile.

"Sure. Wonderful day." I shook my head, still slightly laughing. "Come on, donut boy... We'd better be going so this one can rest a bit. More school tomorrow you know."

He grinned and stood up, "Can we get donuts on the way back?"

"Sure... why not?" I grinned, "Tomorrow then, Stephie?"

"Yes, tomorrow. Have a safe trip back! Sleep well too!"

"You too! bye!" I called, leading the gunman out the door.

"See you tomorrow!" he called as he followed me.

"Have a lovely evening!" was the last thing I heard Lockhart say before the door shut behind us.

I turned to Vash, still highly amused. "So Vash… how many times did you let him win before he actually started to beat you fair and square?"

He grinned, on the verge of a wink. "About thirty I think."

I laughed again, looking forward to donuts and a quiet evening at home… though maybe I con Vash into playing a few more games of Uno…

~~~*~~~

A/N: Killing me for taking so bloody long with this chapter is highly acceptable. ::hands out various instruments of torture::

FluffysBijin05: Oh yesh, Liz loves her donut boy! Hope you enjoyed this one! ::rurouni grin::

kagome-angel2000: Er… sorry this one took so long… but as I said before killing me is permitted! ::cheesy grin:: Hope you liked it!

greenydgrl74: Yay! I'm glad you like it!

PT-chan: Aww… I'm sure Wilson misses you. Though he may be having a party with the printer and the fax machine… Whoops! He made me promise not to tell you! Drat. ::wink::

You Can Fly (Or should I call you Delirium?): I am sure he eats meat as he eats salmon sandwhiches in the anime. Along with eggs and pancakes and spaghetti and meatballs. And to be perfectly honest, I have no idea where you'd find salmon on Gunsmoke… you'd have to ask the creator of the manga/anime. ::laughs:: And don't worry, you're not the first to point out something like that. I don't mind and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Pudding333: Yay! I feel so loved when I'm forgiven! And I did keep writing! See?? Longer!!

Aaringo: I know! ::whines:: I didn't mean for that one to be so short, b-but… well… it just was. ::pouts:: And dude… your review makes me hungry. Mmmm… whipped cream…

Blu: I have three words for you…. "PANTSU!" and "Porno Sites!" Er… wait… that was four words if you count "and". Ah well… CHI! ::laughs::

Doomy-chan: NOOOO! Not the comfy chair! Poke her with the soft cushions! And have I mentioned there's a penguin on the telly and I've no idea how it got there? Hmmm… maybe it came from next door… And yes, I like the signature. ::grins:: I can't rmeemebr though, did I answer your question in an email before? My memory sucks. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter! ::grin::

Lady Venom2: ::blushes:: Yare yare, your stories are better anyway. But I have to agree that anything with Vash is worth the wait. ::grin::

Thesral Dea: You sound like Dumbldore when he's talking to Mira. ::wink:: Thanks much to you and hope you liked!