Chapter 34: Contrast
I sighed as Hakkaku pulled up in front of the institution and got out to open to back door for Ayame and Kouga. I tried to remind myself not to be upset that Kouga was leaving us again. After all, we were lucky that Kouga was alive at all.
After Kouga and I had fallen over the side of the cliff, we had managed to right ourselves and land in the branches of the trees, instead of the spike-like ground that would have skewer us alive. We had managed to climb to the ground and we had simply waited for a while, since we could not get close enough to the pillar to climb up. It hadn't been long till Hakkaku and Ayame had dropped into the trees as well. Ayame had made a call and when we had come back to the parking lot at the foot of the mountain, there had been a limousine waiting for us. By that time, of course, it had been pouring and we were all very happy to get into the limousine.
I was a little worried about how quite Hakkaku was being, but I had decided that Hakkaku would tell me what was bothering him when he decided it was time.
Looking out my window, I saw that Ayame had walked Kouga to the front door of the institution. After a quick mental debate between my shoulder angel and my shoulder devil, I knocked out my shoulder angel and rolled my window down an inch so I could listen to their conversation. I was glad that the rain was finally beginning to stop so it was possible for me to hear the conversation without the added tapping of the heavy rain.
"Oh, Kouga. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have dragged you along." I heard Ayame confess.
"Dragged me along to what?" Kouga asked in confusion "I've forgotten again."
"I'm sorry!" Ayame wailed pressing her face into Kouga's chest. "I'm sorry for everything! I'm sorry about taking you. I'm sorry about letting you fall. I'm sorry about your illness. I'm sorry that you won't remember anything. I'm sorry that…"
"Ayame!" Kouga cried. "It's alright. It's not your fault. Nothing is."
"Well, I'm still sorry."
"So am I." They stood in silence for a minute, holding each other, before Ayame pulled her face out of Kouga's chest and wiped her eyes.
"It's late. You should go back inside."
"Do you have to go?" Kouga asked Ayame as he hugged her again.
"Yes. I'll visit the same time next week."
"You know I'll forget." Kouga sighed. "I always do."
"I'm sure a nurse will remind you." Ayame smiled, even though it was forced. "I…"
"Roll up your window." Hakkaku snapped, speaking for the first time since he had started driving. I looked over at him in surprise. "Roll up your window. I don't want to listen to that anymore."
I nodded silently and rolled up my window without protest. I knew that Hakkaku had always been more upset about Kouga's illness than I had been. I had decided that we should be glad Kouga was still alive. Hakkaku always thought that if your body doesn't work right and it never will again, it's better to be dead.
"Damn it! DAMN THIS SHIT TO HELL!" Hakkaku screamed, slamming his fist against the dashboard.
"Hakkaku!" I whispered in shock.
"It never changes. Nothing ever does. Inuyasha defeated Naraku but no one will ever accept hanyous. Their blood will always be dirt to others." Hakkaku glared at the dashboard. I frowned, Kouga and Ayame had been so excited when Kohaku had called to tell them the outcome, but I knew that Hakkaku was not as optimistic.
"And Kouga. Kouga will never get better. He'll just sit in that damn place day after day after day. He'll never remember anything that happens to him and he'll never get to do anything. He'll just sit in that fucking place and ROT!" Hakkaku snarled. Letting out a deep sigh, Hakkaku allowed his muscles to relax and he smacked his forehead against the steering wheel. "And do you know what I hate the most, Ginta?"
"No." I replied, once I realized that Hakkaku was waiting for me to answer. "What do you hate the most?"
"There's nothing anyone can do about any of this shit." Hakkaku told me. I didn't know what to say to that so I didn't say anything. I wanted to comfort Hakkaku, but I didn't know what to do, so I reached out tentatively and placed a hand on his shoulder. We didn't speak, but he knew that I cared.