My first not-so-serious fic. Why? Because it's full of cussing, and humor that doesn't really make any sense. Now on to the story...Oh, yeah! I might write myself in... just to interact with the characters, and annoy you by speaking in Tagalog. Have a nice read.

Chapter Uno

As I begin the fic, we see our heroes inside the house that Cloud bought in Costa Del Sol, apparently doing nothing besides being bored.

Barret: 'What d' you wan' t' d' t'day?'

Cid: *pops in a cigarette and lights it* 'I dunno. What do you want to do today?'

Cloud: 'I dunno. What do you want to do today?'

Vincent: 'I dunno. What do you want to do today?'

Red XIII: 'I dunno. What do you want to do today?'

Tifa: 'I dunno. What do you want to do today?'

Aeris: 'I dunno. What do you want to do today?'

Cloud: 'I thought you're dead.'

Aeris: 'What? And to be in the lifestream with a psycho who wanted to dump shit on the world?'

Cloud: 'Good point. Forget I asked.'

Barret: 'Why don' we go t' the bar and hav' a few drinks?'

Vincent: 'You just went there yesterday.'

Barret: 'So?'

Tifa: 'So...that means we don't have money, you good-for-nuthin' idiot!'

Barret: 'Oh, yeah, I forgot, ehehehe...'

*Everybody lets out a big sigh*

Suddenly, by my will since I'm the author, Sephiroth appears in spirit from, ala Ben Kenobi.

Sephiroth: 'So, this is what happens to the shitty heroes after they vanquish me to my death...What kinda pathetic losers are you?!?!'

Everybody in unison: 'The fuck you doin here, asshole?!?!?!?!'

Sephi: 'Well, the almighty author wants me here, so there!'

Aeris: 'And I thought I'll have a nice getaway...'

Sephi: 'Sorry, babe, hehe.'

Cid: 'Watever... *spits his 'rette and looks into his pack to find it empty* Ah, fuck! I'm all out!

Everybody in unison: 'So?'

Cid: 'I need to fucking smoke. I'm going to Icicle Inn to buy, who's comin'?

Cloud: 'Why d'you need to go all the way north?'

Cid: ''Cause they got the best sticks. So who's coming?'

Tifa: 'We all might as well go, since we've got nothing to do anyways.'

Everybody in unison: 'Sure, whatever.'

Aeris: *looks at Sephi* 'How 'bout you, ghoul?'

Sephi: 'Guess I'll tag along. And don't call me ghoul, ya bitch.'

Cloud: 'That's settled. Let's go!!'

Tifa: 'Quit acting like kid.'

Cloud: 'DON' TELL ME WHAT TO DO, WOMAN!!!!'

Tifa: 'Are going to shut your hole, or am I going to have to do it for you???'

Cloud: 'Yes ma'am.'

End of Chapter

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy 7 belongs to Squaresoft and is no property of mine.

Okay, review people.

Any typo, misspellings, etc. you can email me at: louie_r73@yahoo.com

Thanks!!!