Hikari: AAAAAAH!! RUUN FOR YOOOUUR LIIIVES!!!
Suigi: What is it, what is it?
Hikari: It's an,......It's an.....UPDATE!!
Suigi: Dear god NO!
Spike: If all you out there are wonderin' what the hell is going on, Hikari has this nasty habit of never updating more than twice in one year.
Hikari: Read "Diaries of a Yami". You'll see what he means. Sorry for never updating in, around 4 months.....I made the second chapter.....then I accidentially deleted it....then I got disenhearted, than my crazy geography teacher went psycho on assigning homework. But now I'm actually going to write it!! Please exscuse me if it's bad, I really just want to rest.
P.S When Spike says "bloody" a whoooole lot, it's not because I'm a crap writer, he just sez it when he's really upset. Read, and you'll see.
SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP (It's good for you)
Ah, how crappy life is Especially when one is not of the living Such as, well, DEAD!
In library. Stuffy, dusty, boring, stupid, boring, ugly, wooden, boring library. And I'm bored. But I think you've already guessed that by now. Buffy's "giant emergency" turned out to be a bloody study party, with more of the studying and less of the bloodying.
This warp-openin'-demon-like-thing apparently sucks people into these buggered up dimesnsions where they die horrible and gruesome deaths. I just started daydreaming about kicking good ol' Angelus into one o' those portals, when the Slayer comes over and smacks me on the head with a book. A bloody BIG book.
"What the hell was that for, Slayer?"
"Cause I can. If you're just going to sit there wasting space, why did you even come here in the first place"
"If memory serves me, I believe it was you who dragged me to this hellbound library in the first place"
"Only because you didn't co-operate with me"
"Buffy, Spike, please stop your bickering. This research is going to go nowhere if we keep having interruptions"
"Giles, this studying is going nowhere anyhow! How are we going to help Tara by just sitting around here stuffing our noses in who-knows-how-old books" "Xander, sit down. You have no right to complain about anything. It's Willow we should be worried about"
It was right about then the I noticed the absence of our two lovely lezzie Glenda's.
"Where are the two bisexual birds anyhow?"
"Buffy, didn't you tell him?"
"You never told me to, I just figured he'd realize at some point"
"Well, I did, great job, now can you tell me what the big deal is?"
"Spike, Tara was.....taken herself by the demon....we don't know if she..I mean, we believe she's still alive and well, but we need your help to assure that"
"....And what if in the process of saving the little wiccan, I wind up trapped myself?"
"Then we all throw a party with those little cone hats and chocolate cake"
"Ooh, and noisemakers. Noisemakers are a must!"
"Buffy, Xander, stop it. Spike, if all goes well, you'll have spell casted on you that will direct you back to any openings which may lead to home. All we need to do is convince Willow to co-operate, and everything will go just fine"
"And the last time you said that, the world nearly got sucked into bloody hell"
"Wouldn't it be fiery?"
"Would what now?"
"Wouldn't it be fiery hell, and not bloody hell? I mean, you saying bloody hell just makes no sense. You don't need to constantly remind the world that you're british, do you?"
"It sounds cool you idjit"
"*snort* In your dreams Spike"
"That's where you'll be, Slayer"
"....ew...EW!! Bad thoughts! Giles, make the bad thoughts go away!!"
"Alright, that's it. You children are just making this too complicated to deal with at the moment. Buffy, you patrol. Take Spike with you if needed, Xander you...."
"Actually, Giles, Riley's coming later to patrol with me, so I really don't need Spike. At all. Ever"
"Well then, walk Spike home as you head out to patrol"
"What am I, a dog now?"
"Say "woof" dead-boy. Say, Giles, my man, do I get the night off too?"
"Xander, you get to stay here and keep researching with me"
"Aw, nutbunnies"
At that point the doorbell rang, and thank the bloody lord it did. If this incessant babble continued for just one more moment, chip or no chip they'd all be lying dead on the floor. However, this announces the arrival of the amazing Captain Cardboard, defender of all of Idaho. Or wherever the hell he's from. Like I pay attention.
"Hey Buffy"
"Hi Riley"
Oh lord, they're blushing. They're actually blushing. Like some kind of crappy romance movie, kinda like Sleepless in.....Not that I watch romancwe movies, not at all. But back to the point.
Kiss.
Gag me with a rope of glass and prick out my eyeballs with a bloody toothpick, but please just spare me the pain and torture of watching army- boy getting' it on with the slayer. Those two are severly mis-matched...not that I care. I don't care a lick about the Slayer, and I hope she dies. And she's ugly, anyhow....and...I don't like her hair!! Stop looking at me like that!!
SPUFFY MADNESS CALLS TO US ALL! RESPOND RESPOND!!(OR GO FOR S/A)
Walking through cool, and calm cemetary, which is a definite imporvement over said library. Still scheming upon different ways to let me patrol with Buffy. Still failing. It's not like I want to, I just want to make sure she's safe, cause surprisingly I'm not all for the world being sucked into hell. Right now, vamps like one blonde, handsome, and british one in particular, practically rule this world. I'd like it to stay that way, at least until I get this soddin' chip out of my noggin.
"So, uh, you sure you guys will be okay out there on your own?"
"Yes Spike, for the upteenth time, I'm sure Riley and I will be perfectly fine by ourselves"
"All by ourselves"
Ooh, the soldier's getting' snippy. I think he may be a bit more clued on to what's happening around him than I think, but I like to believe that he's just deeply stupid.
"Well, just wondering, cause with you two snoggin' and all every three steps you take, an demon could just come up and kill you. Be a nice surprise for me, but you probably wouldn't enjoy it"
"Buffy will be perfectly fine when I'm around, right hun?"
Okay, I never thought I'd say this, but.....ew?
"As soon as a certain, annoying and dyed-blonde vampire gets out of our sight, I'd be more than fine"
"Couldn't of been more subtle if you tried, Slayer. Good on you"
"Spike, just shut-up and leave"
"I'm telling you, your gonna regret this"
"And I am telling you, that the lady says no, and if you speak to her one more time, I'm going to stake you faster than you can say 'bloody hell', am I clear?"
"Uh, it's fiery hell mate. The slogan's been changed"
"Is. That. Clear"
"Crystal"
"Good"
"Like I said Spike, I don't need you. At all. Ever"
I wait till they're just about out of earshot.
"FINE THEN, I HOPE YOU BLOODY DIE!!"
Soldier-boy turns. I head back to the crypt. Much as he'd love to inflict pain upon my person, I'm needed to go portal hopping so the Scooby Gang doesn't have to risk their pretty little necks. So, on to adventure. But first, a warm mug of blood, and a new episode of Passions. Ah, life of the Undead.
Suigi: What is it, what is it?
Hikari: It's an,......It's an.....UPDATE!!
Suigi: Dear god NO!
Spike: If all you out there are wonderin' what the hell is going on, Hikari has this nasty habit of never updating more than twice in one year.
Hikari: Read "Diaries of a Yami". You'll see what he means. Sorry for never updating in, around 4 months.....I made the second chapter.....then I accidentially deleted it....then I got disenhearted, than my crazy geography teacher went psycho on assigning homework. But now I'm actually going to write it!! Please exscuse me if it's bad, I really just want to rest.
P.S When Spike says "bloody" a whoooole lot, it's not because I'm a crap writer, he just sez it when he's really upset. Read, and you'll see.
SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP (It's good for you)
Ah, how crappy life is Especially when one is not of the living Such as, well, DEAD!
In library. Stuffy, dusty, boring, stupid, boring, ugly, wooden, boring library. And I'm bored. But I think you've already guessed that by now. Buffy's "giant emergency" turned out to be a bloody study party, with more of the studying and less of the bloodying.
This warp-openin'-demon-like-thing apparently sucks people into these buggered up dimesnsions where they die horrible and gruesome deaths. I just started daydreaming about kicking good ol' Angelus into one o' those portals, when the Slayer comes over and smacks me on the head with a book. A bloody BIG book.
"What the hell was that for, Slayer?"
"Cause I can. If you're just going to sit there wasting space, why did you even come here in the first place"
"If memory serves me, I believe it was you who dragged me to this hellbound library in the first place"
"Only because you didn't co-operate with me"
"Buffy, Spike, please stop your bickering. This research is going to go nowhere if we keep having interruptions"
"Giles, this studying is going nowhere anyhow! How are we going to help Tara by just sitting around here stuffing our noses in who-knows-how-old books" "Xander, sit down. You have no right to complain about anything. It's Willow we should be worried about"
It was right about then the I noticed the absence of our two lovely lezzie Glenda's.
"Where are the two bisexual birds anyhow?"
"Buffy, didn't you tell him?"
"You never told me to, I just figured he'd realize at some point"
"Well, I did, great job, now can you tell me what the big deal is?"
"Spike, Tara was.....taken herself by the demon....we don't know if she..I mean, we believe she's still alive and well, but we need your help to assure that"
"....And what if in the process of saving the little wiccan, I wind up trapped myself?"
"Then we all throw a party with those little cone hats and chocolate cake"
"Ooh, and noisemakers. Noisemakers are a must!"
"Buffy, Xander, stop it. Spike, if all goes well, you'll have spell casted on you that will direct you back to any openings which may lead to home. All we need to do is convince Willow to co-operate, and everything will go just fine"
"And the last time you said that, the world nearly got sucked into bloody hell"
"Wouldn't it be fiery?"
"Would what now?"
"Wouldn't it be fiery hell, and not bloody hell? I mean, you saying bloody hell just makes no sense. You don't need to constantly remind the world that you're british, do you?"
"It sounds cool you idjit"
"*snort* In your dreams Spike"
"That's where you'll be, Slayer"
"....ew...EW!! Bad thoughts! Giles, make the bad thoughts go away!!"
"Alright, that's it. You children are just making this too complicated to deal with at the moment. Buffy, you patrol. Take Spike with you if needed, Xander you...."
"Actually, Giles, Riley's coming later to patrol with me, so I really don't need Spike. At all. Ever"
"Well then, walk Spike home as you head out to patrol"
"What am I, a dog now?"
"Say "woof" dead-boy. Say, Giles, my man, do I get the night off too?"
"Xander, you get to stay here and keep researching with me"
"Aw, nutbunnies"
At that point the doorbell rang, and thank the bloody lord it did. If this incessant babble continued for just one more moment, chip or no chip they'd all be lying dead on the floor. However, this announces the arrival of the amazing Captain Cardboard, defender of all of Idaho. Or wherever the hell he's from. Like I pay attention.
"Hey Buffy"
"Hi Riley"
Oh lord, they're blushing. They're actually blushing. Like some kind of crappy romance movie, kinda like Sleepless in.....Not that I watch romancwe movies, not at all. But back to the point.
Kiss.
Gag me with a rope of glass and prick out my eyeballs with a bloody toothpick, but please just spare me the pain and torture of watching army- boy getting' it on with the slayer. Those two are severly mis-matched...not that I care. I don't care a lick about the Slayer, and I hope she dies. And she's ugly, anyhow....and...I don't like her hair!! Stop looking at me like that!!
SPUFFY MADNESS CALLS TO US ALL! RESPOND RESPOND!!(OR GO FOR S/A)
Walking through cool, and calm cemetary, which is a definite imporvement over said library. Still scheming upon different ways to let me patrol with Buffy. Still failing. It's not like I want to, I just want to make sure she's safe, cause surprisingly I'm not all for the world being sucked into hell. Right now, vamps like one blonde, handsome, and british one in particular, practically rule this world. I'd like it to stay that way, at least until I get this soddin' chip out of my noggin.
"So, uh, you sure you guys will be okay out there on your own?"
"Yes Spike, for the upteenth time, I'm sure Riley and I will be perfectly fine by ourselves"
"All by ourselves"
Ooh, the soldier's getting' snippy. I think he may be a bit more clued on to what's happening around him than I think, but I like to believe that he's just deeply stupid.
"Well, just wondering, cause with you two snoggin' and all every three steps you take, an demon could just come up and kill you. Be a nice surprise for me, but you probably wouldn't enjoy it"
"Buffy will be perfectly fine when I'm around, right hun?"
Okay, I never thought I'd say this, but.....ew?
"As soon as a certain, annoying and dyed-blonde vampire gets out of our sight, I'd be more than fine"
"Couldn't of been more subtle if you tried, Slayer. Good on you"
"Spike, just shut-up and leave"
"I'm telling you, your gonna regret this"
"And I am telling you, that the lady says no, and if you speak to her one more time, I'm going to stake you faster than you can say 'bloody hell', am I clear?"
"Uh, it's fiery hell mate. The slogan's been changed"
"Is. That. Clear"
"Crystal"
"Good"
"Like I said Spike, I don't need you. At all. Ever"
I wait till they're just about out of earshot.
"FINE THEN, I HOPE YOU BLOODY DIE!!"
Soldier-boy turns. I head back to the crypt. Much as he'd love to inflict pain upon my person, I'm needed to go portal hopping so the Scooby Gang doesn't have to risk their pretty little necks. So, on to adventure. But first, a warm mug of blood, and a new episode of Passions. Ah, life of the Undead.