This is a very non explicit version of a fanfic I wrote on a dark, stormy, well you get the picture.
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The scene starts with Artemis loafing around on the couch and watching television. Juliet walks in.
Juliet: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Parliament funded television!! It burns!
Artemis: SHHHHHHH!!!!!! This is the good part! The prime minister of Canada versus the queen of England!! Yeah! Ohhhhh!!
Juliet: All the queen did was purse her lips more.
Arty: Yes, but remember, a picture is worth a thousand words. You never know when the dinner party face comes on, a fight is on its way, and-
Juliet- Shut up! What you say makes absolutely no sense to anyone!
Arty: That is the point!
Juliet: Fine, say your selfishly pointless things, that you say have a point!
Arty: I never said they had a point!
Juliet: You just did!
Arty: No, I didn't!
Juliet: Yes, you did!
Arty: No, I didn't!
Juliet: Yes you did!
Arty: No, I didn't!
Juliet: No, you didn't!
Arty: Yes, I did!
Juliet: Haha! You admitted it!! The great Juliet has defeated Artemis Fowl's utter intelligence with a single phrase! This will make headlines!!
Arty: You MAY have won this time, but next time, we shall see!
The scene ends, with Artemis laughing maniacally in the background.
Juliet: Wait, bushytailedfreak!!
Authoress: What? This chapter is over.
Juliet: No, it's not.
Authoress: And why not?
Juliet: Because there is a dude outside the door yelling let me in, I'm done mowing the lawn!
Authoress: That would be butler.
Juliet: Oh, ok, whatever.
The scene ends with Juliet going back over to sit on the couch with Artemis, and Butler continues to pound on the front door, getting curiously loose around the hinges.