Strong Enough
Chapter 15
Kyp woke to the sound of Jaina in the fresher sometime later, feeling disoriented at the messages the Force was sending him. Something had happened. Something big. "Jaina?" he called, pushing himself from the bed wearily. His constant suppression of Tahiri's Force powers was draining him slowly but surely. Rest wasn't helping. Receiving no answer, he opened the door to the fresher and stopped. Jaina was standing underneath a spray of real water, her face upturned to the fall. Her dark hair was plastered to her face and back, the water sluicing over her body easily as she stood completely still.
Kyp leaned against the doorframe, the steam from the hot water wafting past him and into her bedroom. He looked his fill, feeling a sudden surge of energy that had nothing to do with the fifteen hour nap he'd just taken. She didn't seem to notice his presence, her thoughts and feelings turned completely inwards as she lifted her hands and pushed the water off her face in a slow, languid movement. He wanted to join her. Wanted it badly enough his hands went to the fastenings on his flightsuit, but dropped almost immediately.
She wouldn't appreciate his interruption right now, he could feel that much, but that didn't kill the urge he felt. Instead he compromised. He simply watched as the emotions flitted across her face. The pleasure at the forbidden indulgence of fresh bathing water, the confusion that was affecting her very deeply and obvious and the helplessness. Helplessness about something that had happened earlier, something she was fighting with internally.
She turned finally, shutting off the water, and simply stood in the stall. Her head was bowed, her shoulder hunched as she pressed her hands, palms open, against the wall. "What do I do?" she whispered softly. So softly in fact, that Kyp would have missed it if he hadn't been reading her lips.
"Anything I can help with, Jay?"
She jumped, her head snapping up in surprise as she whirled, her eyes wide. "Kyp! Force you scared me! How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough that I know something is bothering you, something that you don't want to talk about just yet."
She opened the door and stepped out, reaching for a towel. Kyp beat her to it, snatching it from the rack and opening it for her. She stepped into it, finding herself suddenly enfolded in his arms and pulled against his lean body. She could feel his fatigue but the strength in his arms was comforting. "It's been a rough day," she admitted reluctantly.
"Did you speak with Tahiri?"
Jaina nodded. "And Zekk. He's agreed to fly my wing for now, but he's not to thrilled about leaving Tahiri alone for the next while."
"But he understands why?"
She nodded again. "Yeah, he may not agree with it, and he may not like it, but he understands. Zekk always understands."
Kyp walked her backwards, out of the fresher, as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms, drying the silky skin underneath. She let him, though she stayed as wound as a rubber band ready to snap. He lifted the edge of the towel, taking the ends of her hair in his hands, and began to blot gently, rubbing them dry. Jaina found a smile for him. "Shouldn't I be babying you?"
"Want me to stop?" his tone was soft, tender, despite his exhaustion.
She shook her head. "No, but you look like something from a seventy two hour mission. I'm alright, Kyp."
He lifted her in his arms, settling her in his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed. "I can accept that you're alright, sure. But let me baby you then, ok, Goddess? I need to do it for me."
She knew he was lying, he wasn't bothering to hide it, but she didn't really care. She nodded. "Alright. But don't overtax yourself, understood?"
He chuckled, baring one of her shoulders and placing a gentle kiss on her smooth skin. "Yes your greatness." He lifted the towel, blotting the moisture off her skin, his lips following the path across her shoulders before he became all business. She melted into his arms as his hands worked their way over her body and dried her completely. She lay back against her bed, eyes closed, as she allowed his hands to gently massage the tension from her muscles the way a hot shower never could. And she loved every minute of it.
Kyp was slow and thorough, enjoying the play of supple muscle under his finger tips, enjoying her sighs of delight and the way she simply seemed to melt under his hands. The tension climbed in his body, but he ignored it. He was going to baby her right. Finally her entire body was dry and, gently removing the towel from her body, he began gently blotting her hair. Her eyes opened slowly, languidly, and she watched him.
Naked, except for the towel and his hands, she simply watched him. And Kyp fought every instinct that reared its head, winning by a thread or less. He wouldn't give into temptation, not yet, not unless she came to him. Neither of them were in any shape for anything more. Well, not Jaina anyway. Kyp, though exhausted, wondered if he'd ever wanted her more.
She reached for him then, her hair partially dry and leaving a stain of moisture on her sheets. "Come here, Kyp."
It would have taken a stronger man than he to refuse that passion laced tone. He slid down onto the bed against her, the fabric of his clothing rough against her skin as she tucked her head under his chin. "Want to talk about today, Jay?"
She sighed into his throat. "Not really, but I suppose you're not going to let me sleep until I say something."
"You're not going to be able to sleep and you know it."
She wanted to glare at him but her energy seemed to have fled with his soothing touch. She simply shrugged languidly. "I can fake it."
He arched an eyebrow in silently mockery.
She winked at him slowly. "I'm kidding. As if I could fool you."
He was silent for a long moment. "You could try."
"I wouldn't want to." She admitted softly as he stroked her hair gently. She was quiet for a minute, gathering her thoughts. "I'm trying to decide if I should send Zekk away." She admitted at last. "I don't want him to go, Tahiri and I both seemed to need him as a confidant, but I can't help but wonder if it'd be better for her if he left."
"And better for you, so you'd have to stand on your own?"
"Something like that," she nodded once. "But I can't ask him to go. I've seen him with Tahiri, I've seen the way she's attached to him. I can't take that away from her, not when she's finally starting to respond to me with him around. She might just clam up if I take away the one person she really trusts."
"She doesn't trust you?"
Jaina sighed against the skin of his throat. "I wish she did, but she never will. I'm too close to what she lost, to close to Anakin, for her to ever trust me. She just can't. Respect me, I can gain that, but trust? I don't know if Tahiri will trust another woman in her life, Kyp. Mara was Anakin's teacher for covert operations. Tahiri holds a grudge against her. Mom didn't want Anakin to go on the mission. Tahiri thinks it's mom's fault he couldn't focus properly and was pushed to do things he normally wouldn't to prove he had a place on the mission." She sighed again, closing her eyes. "I don't think she'll ever trust another woman in my family."
Kyp stroked her hair gently, knowing that what she was saying was true. He could feel it from Tahiri as he suppressed her Force skills. He could hear the truth in Jaina's words. He could almost see it as a tangible thing. He kissed the top of her head. "What else is bothering you, Jay?"
She smiled faintly. "We're flying a mission tomorrow that could cost the Twin Suns, me in particular, very dearly. We've been ordered into a battle zone near the Coruscant system. Apparently we're rescuing refugees, but I'm being used as bait. I don't think I'll make it out of this one, Kyp."
"Why?"
"I can't focus properly," she admitted, blushing as she did. "I haven't been able to focus properly for awhile now. Without that, and without you as a focal point..." she trailed off. "I don't think Zekk can offer the same comfort and control you can, he just doesn't have the experience for all his adventures."
"Jay, you told me yourself that you and he make one hell of a team." Kyp's words were soft, but firm. "Doubting that now isn't going to help anything. You have to get beyond this. I'll still be here when you get back. Tahiri will still be here. And most of all, I'll still love you for depending on someone other than me."
She lifted her head until she could look him in the eye, searching his gaze. "Are you sure?"
He nodded. "I love you Jaina Solo, nothing is going to change that. You and Zekk are friends, best friends, and I can't say I like that he feels more for you than friendship. But that's not the issue. You need someone you can depend on to watch your back. Zekk can do that. I can't, not in this state." He smiled wryly. "You have no idea how many Jedi would love to hear me admit that I'm not all powerful."
She giggled at his dry tone. "You're human, Kyp." She told him softly, as she lay back down, holding him close, "I wouldn't want you to be perfect. Then I'd spend all my time wondering if I was good enough for you. I love you, Durron."
He kissed her gently. "Go to sleep, Jay, you're going to need it. I'll be here when you wake up."
"Will you wish me good luck?" she asked on a yawn as her eyes began to drift shut.
His response was almost lost as she drifted off to sleep. "With all my heart, Jay."
Kyp watched her sleep, his mind lost in the fog of the Force and thoughts that were slowly tugging him down towards the slumber that she was now enjoying. She'd been vulnerable, unsuspecting, when she'd closed her eyes to rest. And Kyp felt guilty for having used a suggestion, however weak, on her. She'd be mad as a wild gundark when she woke up. No help for it now, she'd at least have something to drive her through the upcoming fight.
Shaking his head, he curled close to her, listening to the sound of her even breathing. She'd go into battle for the first time in a long time without him tomorrow. He felt apprehensive, nervous. She was good, very good in fact and able to keep up with him, but could Zekk keep up with her? He closed his eyes, kissing her lightly. Zekk had better watch her back. And before they flew in the morning, Kyp was going to have words with the younger man just to make sure he knew his duty. The Goddess had to live, for the deception and insult she kept giving the Yuuzhan Vong. And for him. Oh yes. He wasn't going to lose her now, not if he could help it.
Slowly, every so slowly, Kyp followed Jaina into her dreams. His last thought was of a battle meld and trying to find some way to help her in his weakened state. Nothing came to mind and as he began to dream, he slept fitfully. He had to find some way to help her out. He just had to.
Chapter 15
Kyp woke to the sound of Jaina in the fresher sometime later, feeling disoriented at the messages the Force was sending him. Something had happened. Something big. "Jaina?" he called, pushing himself from the bed wearily. His constant suppression of Tahiri's Force powers was draining him slowly but surely. Rest wasn't helping. Receiving no answer, he opened the door to the fresher and stopped. Jaina was standing underneath a spray of real water, her face upturned to the fall. Her dark hair was plastered to her face and back, the water sluicing over her body easily as she stood completely still.
Kyp leaned against the doorframe, the steam from the hot water wafting past him and into her bedroom. He looked his fill, feeling a sudden surge of energy that had nothing to do with the fifteen hour nap he'd just taken. She didn't seem to notice his presence, her thoughts and feelings turned completely inwards as she lifted her hands and pushed the water off her face in a slow, languid movement. He wanted to join her. Wanted it badly enough his hands went to the fastenings on his flightsuit, but dropped almost immediately.
She wouldn't appreciate his interruption right now, he could feel that much, but that didn't kill the urge he felt. Instead he compromised. He simply watched as the emotions flitted across her face. The pleasure at the forbidden indulgence of fresh bathing water, the confusion that was affecting her very deeply and obvious and the helplessness. Helplessness about something that had happened earlier, something she was fighting with internally.
She turned finally, shutting off the water, and simply stood in the stall. Her head was bowed, her shoulder hunched as she pressed her hands, palms open, against the wall. "What do I do?" she whispered softly. So softly in fact, that Kyp would have missed it if he hadn't been reading her lips.
"Anything I can help with, Jay?"
She jumped, her head snapping up in surprise as she whirled, her eyes wide. "Kyp! Force you scared me! How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough that I know something is bothering you, something that you don't want to talk about just yet."
She opened the door and stepped out, reaching for a towel. Kyp beat her to it, snatching it from the rack and opening it for her. She stepped into it, finding herself suddenly enfolded in his arms and pulled against his lean body. She could feel his fatigue but the strength in his arms was comforting. "It's been a rough day," she admitted reluctantly.
"Did you speak with Tahiri?"
Jaina nodded. "And Zekk. He's agreed to fly my wing for now, but he's not to thrilled about leaving Tahiri alone for the next while."
"But he understands why?"
She nodded again. "Yeah, he may not agree with it, and he may not like it, but he understands. Zekk always understands."
Kyp walked her backwards, out of the fresher, as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms, drying the silky skin underneath. She let him, though she stayed as wound as a rubber band ready to snap. He lifted the edge of the towel, taking the ends of her hair in his hands, and began to blot gently, rubbing them dry. Jaina found a smile for him. "Shouldn't I be babying you?"
"Want me to stop?" his tone was soft, tender, despite his exhaustion.
She shook her head. "No, but you look like something from a seventy two hour mission. I'm alright, Kyp."
He lifted her in his arms, settling her in his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed. "I can accept that you're alright, sure. But let me baby you then, ok, Goddess? I need to do it for me."
She knew he was lying, he wasn't bothering to hide it, but she didn't really care. She nodded. "Alright. But don't overtax yourself, understood?"
He chuckled, baring one of her shoulders and placing a gentle kiss on her smooth skin. "Yes your greatness." He lifted the towel, blotting the moisture off her skin, his lips following the path across her shoulders before he became all business. She melted into his arms as his hands worked their way over her body and dried her completely. She lay back against her bed, eyes closed, as she allowed his hands to gently massage the tension from her muscles the way a hot shower never could. And she loved every minute of it.
Kyp was slow and thorough, enjoying the play of supple muscle under his finger tips, enjoying her sighs of delight and the way she simply seemed to melt under his hands. The tension climbed in his body, but he ignored it. He was going to baby her right. Finally her entire body was dry and, gently removing the towel from her body, he began gently blotting her hair. Her eyes opened slowly, languidly, and she watched him.
Naked, except for the towel and his hands, she simply watched him. And Kyp fought every instinct that reared its head, winning by a thread or less. He wouldn't give into temptation, not yet, not unless she came to him. Neither of them were in any shape for anything more. Well, not Jaina anyway. Kyp, though exhausted, wondered if he'd ever wanted her more.
She reached for him then, her hair partially dry and leaving a stain of moisture on her sheets. "Come here, Kyp."
It would have taken a stronger man than he to refuse that passion laced tone. He slid down onto the bed against her, the fabric of his clothing rough against her skin as she tucked her head under his chin. "Want to talk about today, Jay?"
She sighed into his throat. "Not really, but I suppose you're not going to let me sleep until I say something."
"You're not going to be able to sleep and you know it."
She wanted to glare at him but her energy seemed to have fled with his soothing touch. She simply shrugged languidly. "I can fake it."
He arched an eyebrow in silently mockery.
She winked at him slowly. "I'm kidding. As if I could fool you."
He was silent for a long moment. "You could try."
"I wouldn't want to." She admitted softly as he stroked her hair gently. She was quiet for a minute, gathering her thoughts. "I'm trying to decide if I should send Zekk away." She admitted at last. "I don't want him to go, Tahiri and I both seemed to need him as a confidant, but I can't help but wonder if it'd be better for her if he left."
"And better for you, so you'd have to stand on your own?"
"Something like that," she nodded once. "But I can't ask him to go. I've seen him with Tahiri, I've seen the way she's attached to him. I can't take that away from her, not when she's finally starting to respond to me with him around. She might just clam up if I take away the one person she really trusts."
"She doesn't trust you?"
Jaina sighed against the skin of his throat. "I wish she did, but she never will. I'm too close to what she lost, to close to Anakin, for her to ever trust me. She just can't. Respect me, I can gain that, but trust? I don't know if Tahiri will trust another woman in her life, Kyp. Mara was Anakin's teacher for covert operations. Tahiri holds a grudge against her. Mom didn't want Anakin to go on the mission. Tahiri thinks it's mom's fault he couldn't focus properly and was pushed to do things he normally wouldn't to prove he had a place on the mission." She sighed again, closing her eyes. "I don't think she'll ever trust another woman in my family."
Kyp stroked her hair gently, knowing that what she was saying was true. He could feel it from Tahiri as he suppressed her Force skills. He could hear the truth in Jaina's words. He could almost see it as a tangible thing. He kissed the top of her head. "What else is bothering you, Jay?"
She smiled faintly. "We're flying a mission tomorrow that could cost the Twin Suns, me in particular, very dearly. We've been ordered into a battle zone near the Coruscant system. Apparently we're rescuing refugees, but I'm being used as bait. I don't think I'll make it out of this one, Kyp."
"Why?"
"I can't focus properly," she admitted, blushing as she did. "I haven't been able to focus properly for awhile now. Without that, and without you as a focal point..." she trailed off. "I don't think Zekk can offer the same comfort and control you can, he just doesn't have the experience for all his adventures."
"Jay, you told me yourself that you and he make one hell of a team." Kyp's words were soft, but firm. "Doubting that now isn't going to help anything. You have to get beyond this. I'll still be here when you get back. Tahiri will still be here. And most of all, I'll still love you for depending on someone other than me."
She lifted her head until she could look him in the eye, searching his gaze. "Are you sure?"
He nodded. "I love you Jaina Solo, nothing is going to change that. You and Zekk are friends, best friends, and I can't say I like that he feels more for you than friendship. But that's not the issue. You need someone you can depend on to watch your back. Zekk can do that. I can't, not in this state." He smiled wryly. "You have no idea how many Jedi would love to hear me admit that I'm not all powerful."
She giggled at his dry tone. "You're human, Kyp." She told him softly, as she lay back down, holding him close, "I wouldn't want you to be perfect. Then I'd spend all my time wondering if I was good enough for you. I love you, Durron."
He kissed her gently. "Go to sleep, Jay, you're going to need it. I'll be here when you wake up."
"Will you wish me good luck?" she asked on a yawn as her eyes began to drift shut.
His response was almost lost as she drifted off to sleep. "With all my heart, Jay."
Kyp watched her sleep, his mind lost in the fog of the Force and thoughts that were slowly tugging him down towards the slumber that she was now enjoying. She'd been vulnerable, unsuspecting, when she'd closed her eyes to rest. And Kyp felt guilty for having used a suggestion, however weak, on her. She'd be mad as a wild gundark when she woke up. No help for it now, she'd at least have something to drive her through the upcoming fight.
Shaking his head, he curled close to her, listening to the sound of her even breathing. She'd go into battle for the first time in a long time without him tomorrow. He felt apprehensive, nervous. She was good, very good in fact and able to keep up with him, but could Zekk keep up with her? He closed his eyes, kissing her lightly. Zekk had better watch her back. And before they flew in the morning, Kyp was going to have words with the younger man just to make sure he knew his duty. The Goddess had to live, for the deception and insult she kept giving the Yuuzhan Vong. And for him. Oh yes. He wasn't going to lose her now, not if he could help it.
Slowly, every so slowly, Kyp followed Jaina into her dreams. His last thought was of a battle meld and trying to find some way to help her in his weakened state. Nothing came to mind and as he began to dream, he slept fitfully. He had to find some way to help her out. He just had to.