Author's note: Hello there guys.a situation has come to my attention when I
realised there aren't enough parodies on this fantastic show, they're good
but I'm including my own. In order to get the best flavour out of this I
have put the timer back to the very first episode, and really messed things
up! MUWHAHAHA!!!
--24 Season 1-
Jack's voice: The following takes place between Midnight and 1 A.M, shit I'm tired! On the day (yawns) of the Califor(Yawns again).Cal (Yawns) California Presidential (Yawns, then slaps his jaw.) Ow. Just begin the day already!
Karla Lumpur
Some guy is walking down a busy street.
Guy: Excuse me! Coming though! (Trips over a stray chicken) Want some punk!? (Knells down and punches the chicken in the face)
Chicken: BRAWWK! *Translation: That hurt you bastard! I hate you humans! You stinky piece of lemon-shit YOU WILL PAY!
TV Audience: This show's great!
(The Chicken attacks Guy by biting his nipple and twisting it really HARD)
Guy: AARRRGGHH!! Sonofabitch!
(Runs off whilst the bystanders point and laugh at him then they start clucking like chickens)
Guy: (Now blushing so hard everyone gets on their sunglasses) You.(Points at chicken) we will meet again!
(Runs inside, gets out some really cool techno stuff and rings his phone)
Guy: Victor Rovner, requesting permission to transmit.
Person: Sure thing Fido (Laughs).I mean Rover.wuff wuff! Boy that chicken beat the stuffing out of you!
Victor: (Seethes) The enemy plan is underway today.
Person: Cluck cluck! Woof! Wo- oh. Shit. I'll let them know!
Victor: Thank you. (Hears a banging on the door)
Chicken: BBBBRRRAAWWKK!! *Translation: Want some more punk?
Victor: *To himself: Oh shit.
(Screen cuts to some totally cool satellite spinning around the Earth.)
TV Audience: Awesome.
(A glove in space flies straight through the satellite, making it blow up.)
Audience: Eh?
FOX Correspondent: Gives us better ratings.
Audience: Okay.
(Screen cuts to a posh-people party with some evil looking guy with a moustache answering the phone)
Audience: That guy looks like Hitler.I bet there's a link to Berlin.
FOX Correspondent: No. (Looks around worryingly)
Person on other end of phone: Mr. Walsh? It's happening today. Senator David Palmer is the target.
Walsh: Oh my god. (To other people) Sorry. Gotta go. (People give him the Nazi salute) Right. (Gives them the finger)
(Screen cuts to the Palmer Campaign HQ)
David: The speech is good Putty.
Patty: It's Patty, Senator.
David: One problem though, put down historic day instead of 'Breakfast'. Sounds like we're having brunch.
Sherry: No. We're having breakfast at the 'breakfast'.
Random Campaign worker: Could do with some cornflakes right now.
Keith: Nah. I could MURDER for a damn good curry.
Everyone: (Drools)
David: Let's practice. 'On this historic breakfast, the jam WILL be made out of strawberries of from the secret utopia of the country not listed called 'America'.
(Campaign workers clap)
Audience: Damn, that is one cool senator.
(Screen cuts to a house, inside there are two people playing chess)
Jack: Take that bitch! Your knight is HISTRORRRYY!
Kim: Uhh.chill.
Jack: Yeah. School tomorrow, so get to bed.
Kim: Can't.
Jack: Why not?
Kim: She booby-trapped the room with trip-wires, if I fall for it, SHE will point and laugh at me.
Jack: I bet 'SHE' you mean mom.
Kim: Okay.you caught me.I'm going to bed.
Jack: I love you too sweetheart.
Kim: But what about-
Jack: I know. I was there and I did it.
Kim: You mean-
Jack: I love you.
Kim: NO! I thought you stole my TV!
Jack: Oh. Let me give you some advice: Never EVER try to shove a monitor down your trousers and make nothing out of it.
Kim: Roooiihhtt. (Goes away, but grabs Teri and throws her out of the window. As Teri lets herself back in a thump is heard.)
THUMP!
Teri: Eat that! (Points and laughs)
Kim: You bitch! (Closes door on Teri)
Teri: Oh Jack. Why is she giving me the cold shoulder?
Jack: Uhh.because A) You put up trip wires in her room. B) It was you who stuck her TV on the default TV channel 'Faulty' in which the TV is ruined and only shows static. And C) Remember our ski-ing trip over the mountains? Yes. You replaced her Skis with rollerblades when we were going down the frozen river.
Teri: Heh heh heh.
Jack: In short, you are one crazy bitch.
Teri: I know.
Jack: Which is why you need.(Gets a drink out of the fridge) Powerade! Because it gives YOU (Points at screen) BAUER POWER!
Audience: OOOHHH. Product placement?
Jack: Damn straight! (Turns to Teri) You're going to have to make it up to her. Promise that you will be her personal slave for the next month.
Teri: That sounds good. (Smiles at Jack) I really appreciate it.
Jack: No you don't. Let's tell Kim anyway.
(As they open the door to Kim's room, they realise she is not there.)
Jack: KIM! (Outside the window there is Kim running towards the car before it speeds up.) She almost snuck out.
Teri: That's it! She is grounded, no exceptions!
Jack: Uhh. She already was. She feel out of the window because of your trip- wires.
Teri: (Phone rings and she answers) Oh. Hi Nina. Yeah he is here. (Gives the phone to Jack)
Jack: Hey Nina. Walsh wants me to come in!? DAMMIT!!
Nina: What's the matter?
Jack: You know he never forgets promises made by other people right? Well, actually it was a bet. I bet that if I can win at cards he has to give me a foot-rub and likewise? He won.
Nina and Teri: (Covers up laughter)
Jack: Yeah yeah. I'll come. Just don't tell anyone about the bet. DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT.
Nina and Teri: Darn it.
(Screen cuts to CTU)
Tony: So is Jack coming?
Nina: Yes, unfortunately he's in a bad mood. Remember that card game he and Walsh had? That bet?
Tony: Hehe.
Nina: Jack lost; he's giving Walsh the foot-rub.
(Everyone in CTU laughs out loud.)
Jamey: I hope this meeting is over with soon.
Nina: Why? Are we interrupting your social life?
Jamey: At least I have one.
Nina: Screw you bitch.
Tony: I'll screw you two.
Nina and Jamey: OOKKAAYYY. (They go off to their desks)
Tony: Dammit! What am I doing wrong? (Goes over to desk and cries)
TV Audience: We're gonna hear more of that word aren't we?
FOX Correspondent: Yep.
(Screen cuts back to the Bauer house, Jack is heading for his car)
Jack: (Rings phone) Hey Vincent? It's Jack.
Vincent: Wassup?
Jack: Are you planning on seeing Kimberley tonight?
Vincent: Hell yeah. I'm gonna give her stuffing like a plump turkey! YEAH!
Jack: Don't screw her Vincent. And don't screw with me.
Vincent: Okay chill. I'm not seeing her. Good luck in finding her.
Jack: Oh crap. I've got your blessing on this?
Vincent: Yup.
Jack: This is gonna be a LONG DAY. (Hangs up.)
(Jack starts driving along until he lets a bus goes past. It is advertising the Palmer campaign)
Jack: (Rings phone) Hey Nina. What exactly did Walsh say?
Nina: Just bring everyone in, that's all.
Jack: You're useful.
Nina: Well, I like to help.
Jack: That was sarcasm.
Nina: GRRR.
Jack: I reckon this is about David Palmer, start pulling up references on who is in his staff.
Nina: Say it.
Jack: Say what?
Nina: SAY IT. Jack: (Sighs) Okay. What colour is your underwear?
Nina: Black. Okay, I'll get your list.
Jack: Black eh? Neat. (Hangs up.)
(Screen cuts to a street with a car driving along, inside is Kim and Janet)
Kim: So when are we supposed to be meeting them?
Janet: Midnight. We're late.
Kim: Jesus Christ you're miserable. And what the hell are you listening to?
Janet: Cheeky Girls.
Kim: AARRGGGGHHH!!!
Janet: Anyway, these guys we are gonna meet, they're so totally cool. Y'know?
Kim: No I don't. Enlighten me.
Janet: You want me to set your hair on fire?
Kim: God you're dim.
Janet: I know. I mean, God so totally not everywhere you know?
Kim: (Sighs) Stupid bitch. Why are these guys cool?
Janet: Well the guy I met, Dan. He works for a furniture store.
Kim: Oh please.
Janet: And the other lad, Rick. He works for the IRS.
Kim: Oh no. (Bangs head on the car window.) Ow. What's your point about them?
Janet: They're not boys that's for sure.
Kim: You're right. They're idiots.
(Car turns into an alley where there is a souped-up Purple van with two teenage lads nearby.)
Kim: Who would drive a van like that? It's awful!
Janet: Purple's totally my colour. (She runs up to Dan and kisses him)
Kim: *To herself: I fear for her sanity. (Goes up to Rick) So. You must be Prick.
Rick: Guess I must be.HEY!
Kim: Hehe.
Rick: Well, I'm ready to party.
Kim: As a matter of fact I'm looking forward to kicking your ass.
Rick: And celebrate about it?
Kim: Yep.
Rick: Cool. (He opens the door for her.)
Kim: Phfft.
(They go inside, and the lights go on)
Janet: Come on Kim! Come up on the table with me!
Kim: No.
Dan: I will!
(As soon as he jumps on the table it breaks in two.)
Rick: You just totally totalled it!
Janet: You are so totally destructive!
Dan: I totally am!
Rick and Dan and Janet: (All look at Kim) And you are totally not total!
Kim: Phew. (Screen cuts to the CTU parking lot, Jack is parking his car)
Jack: (Phone rings) Hey Teri. Any word on Kim?
Teri: Nope. Jack, when are you coming back?
Jack: Beats me. Remember when I said we should try therapy?
Teri: You need anger management Jack, not me.
Jack: Teri. I gotta go, I'm already at CTU. (Hangs up)
Nina: Hi Jack.
Jack: Who's here?
Nina: Everyone except Walsh.
Jack: Typical. Have you got the staff list yet?
Nina: I assigned Tony to it.
Tony: I'm not doing it Jack. Unless I know what the situation is all ABOOT.
Jack: You told everyone didn't you Nina?
Nina: I'm just following protocol.
Jack: Oh yes. Rule 576: 'All agency personnel must be made aware of any potentially lethal Nuclear, Chemical/ Biological situation.' Get the list Tony.
Tony: Why Palmer? Is it because he's black? Seems unfair.
Jack: Makes him the most likely target. Nah, I'm joking Tony.
Tony: Really?
Jack: No. Do your job, you jerk.
Audience: Jack's a grumpy guy!
Everyone in CTU: Oooo. You got cussed deep Tony!
(Tony and Jack stare at each other with scorning looks)
(Screen cuts to Teri making herself a drink, the cup smashes on the floor)
Teri: DAMMIT!
Audience: That's 3 dammits now.
Teri: (Answers ringing phone) Who is this?
Alan: Hello, my name is Alan York and-
Teri: No. I DON'T want an AOL trail!
Alan: I found your number in this book and-
Teri: (Sighs.) Not another stalker!
Alan: I found this number in my daughter, Janet's diary and-
Teri: Sorry, I just think it's amusing if I keep interrupting you after you say 'and'.
Alan: Do you have a son or-
Teri: Daughter. Why? Kim's snuck out has Janet gone too?
Alan: Damn straight, and-
Teri: (Impersonates machine gun sounds) Powpowpowpowpowpowpow!!
Alan: STOP INTERRUPTING ME BITCH!
Teri: I was only joking!
Alan: May I have your number so you can call me in case you hear anything?
Teri: Sure.
(Back at CTU)
Jack: (On phone) Uhh. Look, can you do me a favour and look out for Kim, she snuck out?
Person: You're a bad parent.
Jack: Please?
Person: Okay.
Jack: Thank you. (Hangs up, Walsh has entered)
Walsh: Is everyone here?
Nina: Everyone is here Sir.
Walsh: Wasn't talking to you.
Nina: Bastard.
(They enter the CTU conference room)
Walsh: In the next 24 hours there is a threat to kill David Palmer.
Jack: Told you Tony.
Tony: Yeah yeah.
Jack: How good is security?
Walsh: Not very good. The threat is a shooter from overseas.
Nina: What foreign power wants Palmer dead?
Walsh: Any country that hates America.
Nina: So the world is out to get him.
Walsh: Hell yeah baby. Keep Palmer alive at all costs. Good luck people.
Everyone: SIR YES SIR!
(They start to leave, Walsh tells Jack to stay behind)
Walsh: How are things at home?
Jack: Teri's a psycho.
Walsh: TerrorTeri. Kinda fits. Take a seat.
Jack: This is bad news right?
Walsh: There may be an element inside the agency involved on the hit on Palmer.
Jack: So maybe a mole told the CTU staff about the foot-rub I'm supposed to be giving you!
Walsh: Thanks for reminding me.
Jack: Dammit!
Audience: 4 times now.
Walsh: For the next 24 hours I want you all over this. You're gonna be interfacing with every branch of the military.
Jack: I'm the last person on this planet you want on something like this!
Walsh: Actually, I could ask Tony. I could tell him that Jack is a wimp.
Jack: DON'T! I'LL DO IT!
Walsh: That's the spirit. George Mason is coming over to brief you in more detail.
Jack: Shit. Slap-head? The guy's a beurocrat. Should I trust him?
Walsh: Until we know, don't trust anybody.not even your own people.
Jack: Oh crap.
Walsh: We gotta find the shooter before its too late.
(Screen cuts to a plane)
Strange person: Excuse me? How long will it be until we land?
Stewardess: Over an hour Sir.
Audience: He's the shooter! Kill him!
(Screen cuts to a digital clock: 12:20:37, 12:20:38, 12:20:39)
Well, I hope you have enjoyed this part! Please give comments about this! Constructive comments are most welcome!
--24 Season 1-
Jack's voice: The following takes place between Midnight and 1 A.M, shit I'm tired! On the day (yawns) of the Califor(Yawns again).Cal (Yawns) California Presidential (Yawns, then slaps his jaw.) Ow. Just begin the day already!
Karla Lumpur
Some guy is walking down a busy street.
Guy: Excuse me! Coming though! (Trips over a stray chicken) Want some punk!? (Knells down and punches the chicken in the face)
Chicken: BRAWWK! *Translation: That hurt you bastard! I hate you humans! You stinky piece of lemon-shit YOU WILL PAY!
TV Audience: This show's great!
(The Chicken attacks Guy by biting his nipple and twisting it really HARD)
Guy: AARRRGGHH!! Sonofabitch!
(Runs off whilst the bystanders point and laugh at him then they start clucking like chickens)
Guy: (Now blushing so hard everyone gets on their sunglasses) You.(Points at chicken) we will meet again!
(Runs inside, gets out some really cool techno stuff and rings his phone)
Guy: Victor Rovner, requesting permission to transmit.
Person: Sure thing Fido (Laughs).I mean Rover.wuff wuff! Boy that chicken beat the stuffing out of you!
Victor: (Seethes) The enemy plan is underway today.
Person: Cluck cluck! Woof! Wo- oh. Shit. I'll let them know!
Victor: Thank you. (Hears a banging on the door)
Chicken: BBBBRRRAAWWKK!! *Translation: Want some more punk?
Victor: *To himself: Oh shit.
(Screen cuts to some totally cool satellite spinning around the Earth.)
TV Audience: Awesome.
(A glove in space flies straight through the satellite, making it blow up.)
Audience: Eh?
FOX Correspondent: Gives us better ratings.
Audience: Okay.
(Screen cuts to a posh-people party with some evil looking guy with a moustache answering the phone)
Audience: That guy looks like Hitler.I bet there's a link to Berlin.
FOX Correspondent: No. (Looks around worryingly)
Person on other end of phone: Mr. Walsh? It's happening today. Senator David Palmer is the target.
Walsh: Oh my god. (To other people) Sorry. Gotta go. (People give him the Nazi salute) Right. (Gives them the finger)
(Screen cuts to the Palmer Campaign HQ)
David: The speech is good Putty.
Patty: It's Patty, Senator.
David: One problem though, put down historic day instead of 'Breakfast'. Sounds like we're having brunch.
Sherry: No. We're having breakfast at the 'breakfast'.
Random Campaign worker: Could do with some cornflakes right now.
Keith: Nah. I could MURDER for a damn good curry.
Everyone: (Drools)
David: Let's practice. 'On this historic breakfast, the jam WILL be made out of strawberries of from the secret utopia of the country not listed called 'America'.
(Campaign workers clap)
Audience: Damn, that is one cool senator.
(Screen cuts to a house, inside there are two people playing chess)
Jack: Take that bitch! Your knight is HISTRORRRYY!
Kim: Uhh.chill.
Jack: Yeah. School tomorrow, so get to bed.
Kim: Can't.
Jack: Why not?
Kim: She booby-trapped the room with trip-wires, if I fall for it, SHE will point and laugh at me.
Jack: I bet 'SHE' you mean mom.
Kim: Okay.you caught me.I'm going to bed.
Jack: I love you too sweetheart.
Kim: But what about-
Jack: I know. I was there and I did it.
Kim: You mean-
Jack: I love you.
Kim: NO! I thought you stole my TV!
Jack: Oh. Let me give you some advice: Never EVER try to shove a monitor down your trousers and make nothing out of it.
Kim: Roooiihhtt. (Goes away, but grabs Teri and throws her out of the window. As Teri lets herself back in a thump is heard.)
THUMP!
Teri: Eat that! (Points and laughs)
Kim: You bitch! (Closes door on Teri)
Teri: Oh Jack. Why is she giving me the cold shoulder?
Jack: Uhh.because A) You put up trip wires in her room. B) It was you who stuck her TV on the default TV channel 'Faulty' in which the TV is ruined and only shows static. And C) Remember our ski-ing trip over the mountains? Yes. You replaced her Skis with rollerblades when we were going down the frozen river.
Teri: Heh heh heh.
Jack: In short, you are one crazy bitch.
Teri: I know.
Jack: Which is why you need.(Gets a drink out of the fridge) Powerade! Because it gives YOU (Points at screen) BAUER POWER!
Audience: OOOHHH. Product placement?
Jack: Damn straight! (Turns to Teri) You're going to have to make it up to her. Promise that you will be her personal slave for the next month.
Teri: That sounds good. (Smiles at Jack) I really appreciate it.
Jack: No you don't. Let's tell Kim anyway.
(As they open the door to Kim's room, they realise she is not there.)
Jack: KIM! (Outside the window there is Kim running towards the car before it speeds up.) She almost snuck out.
Teri: That's it! She is grounded, no exceptions!
Jack: Uhh. She already was. She feel out of the window because of your trip- wires.
Teri: (Phone rings and she answers) Oh. Hi Nina. Yeah he is here. (Gives the phone to Jack)
Jack: Hey Nina. Walsh wants me to come in!? DAMMIT!!
Nina: What's the matter?
Jack: You know he never forgets promises made by other people right? Well, actually it was a bet. I bet that if I can win at cards he has to give me a foot-rub and likewise? He won.
Nina and Teri: (Covers up laughter)
Jack: Yeah yeah. I'll come. Just don't tell anyone about the bet. DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT.
Nina and Teri: Darn it.
(Screen cuts to CTU)
Tony: So is Jack coming?
Nina: Yes, unfortunately he's in a bad mood. Remember that card game he and Walsh had? That bet?
Tony: Hehe.
Nina: Jack lost; he's giving Walsh the foot-rub.
(Everyone in CTU laughs out loud.)
Jamey: I hope this meeting is over with soon.
Nina: Why? Are we interrupting your social life?
Jamey: At least I have one.
Nina: Screw you bitch.
Tony: I'll screw you two.
Nina and Jamey: OOKKAAYYY. (They go off to their desks)
Tony: Dammit! What am I doing wrong? (Goes over to desk and cries)
TV Audience: We're gonna hear more of that word aren't we?
FOX Correspondent: Yep.
(Screen cuts back to the Bauer house, Jack is heading for his car)
Jack: (Rings phone) Hey Vincent? It's Jack.
Vincent: Wassup?
Jack: Are you planning on seeing Kimberley tonight?
Vincent: Hell yeah. I'm gonna give her stuffing like a plump turkey! YEAH!
Jack: Don't screw her Vincent. And don't screw with me.
Vincent: Okay chill. I'm not seeing her. Good luck in finding her.
Jack: Oh crap. I've got your blessing on this?
Vincent: Yup.
Jack: This is gonna be a LONG DAY. (Hangs up.)
(Jack starts driving along until he lets a bus goes past. It is advertising the Palmer campaign)
Jack: (Rings phone) Hey Nina. What exactly did Walsh say?
Nina: Just bring everyone in, that's all.
Jack: You're useful.
Nina: Well, I like to help.
Jack: That was sarcasm.
Nina: GRRR.
Jack: I reckon this is about David Palmer, start pulling up references on who is in his staff.
Nina: Say it.
Jack: Say what?
Nina: SAY IT. Jack: (Sighs) Okay. What colour is your underwear?
Nina: Black. Okay, I'll get your list.
Jack: Black eh? Neat. (Hangs up.)
(Screen cuts to a street with a car driving along, inside is Kim and Janet)
Kim: So when are we supposed to be meeting them?
Janet: Midnight. We're late.
Kim: Jesus Christ you're miserable. And what the hell are you listening to?
Janet: Cheeky Girls.
Kim: AARRGGGGHHH!!!
Janet: Anyway, these guys we are gonna meet, they're so totally cool. Y'know?
Kim: No I don't. Enlighten me.
Janet: You want me to set your hair on fire?
Kim: God you're dim.
Janet: I know. I mean, God so totally not everywhere you know?
Kim: (Sighs) Stupid bitch. Why are these guys cool?
Janet: Well the guy I met, Dan. He works for a furniture store.
Kim: Oh please.
Janet: And the other lad, Rick. He works for the IRS.
Kim: Oh no. (Bangs head on the car window.) Ow. What's your point about them?
Janet: They're not boys that's for sure.
Kim: You're right. They're idiots.
(Car turns into an alley where there is a souped-up Purple van with two teenage lads nearby.)
Kim: Who would drive a van like that? It's awful!
Janet: Purple's totally my colour. (She runs up to Dan and kisses him)
Kim: *To herself: I fear for her sanity. (Goes up to Rick) So. You must be Prick.
Rick: Guess I must be.HEY!
Kim: Hehe.
Rick: Well, I'm ready to party.
Kim: As a matter of fact I'm looking forward to kicking your ass.
Rick: And celebrate about it?
Kim: Yep.
Rick: Cool. (He opens the door for her.)
Kim: Phfft.
(They go inside, and the lights go on)
Janet: Come on Kim! Come up on the table with me!
Kim: No.
Dan: I will!
(As soon as he jumps on the table it breaks in two.)
Rick: You just totally totalled it!
Janet: You are so totally destructive!
Dan: I totally am!
Rick and Dan and Janet: (All look at Kim) And you are totally not total!
Kim: Phew. (Screen cuts to the CTU parking lot, Jack is parking his car)
Jack: (Phone rings) Hey Teri. Any word on Kim?
Teri: Nope. Jack, when are you coming back?
Jack: Beats me. Remember when I said we should try therapy?
Teri: You need anger management Jack, not me.
Jack: Teri. I gotta go, I'm already at CTU. (Hangs up)
Nina: Hi Jack.
Jack: Who's here?
Nina: Everyone except Walsh.
Jack: Typical. Have you got the staff list yet?
Nina: I assigned Tony to it.
Tony: I'm not doing it Jack. Unless I know what the situation is all ABOOT.
Jack: You told everyone didn't you Nina?
Nina: I'm just following protocol.
Jack: Oh yes. Rule 576: 'All agency personnel must be made aware of any potentially lethal Nuclear, Chemical/ Biological situation.' Get the list Tony.
Tony: Why Palmer? Is it because he's black? Seems unfair.
Jack: Makes him the most likely target. Nah, I'm joking Tony.
Tony: Really?
Jack: No. Do your job, you jerk.
Audience: Jack's a grumpy guy!
Everyone in CTU: Oooo. You got cussed deep Tony!
(Tony and Jack stare at each other with scorning looks)
(Screen cuts to Teri making herself a drink, the cup smashes on the floor)
Teri: DAMMIT!
Audience: That's 3 dammits now.
Teri: (Answers ringing phone) Who is this?
Alan: Hello, my name is Alan York and-
Teri: No. I DON'T want an AOL trail!
Alan: I found your number in this book and-
Teri: (Sighs.) Not another stalker!
Alan: I found this number in my daughter, Janet's diary and-
Teri: Sorry, I just think it's amusing if I keep interrupting you after you say 'and'.
Alan: Do you have a son or-
Teri: Daughter. Why? Kim's snuck out has Janet gone too?
Alan: Damn straight, and-
Teri: (Impersonates machine gun sounds) Powpowpowpowpowpowpow!!
Alan: STOP INTERRUPTING ME BITCH!
Teri: I was only joking!
Alan: May I have your number so you can call me in case you hear anything?
Teri: Sure.
(Back at CTU)
Jack: (On phone) Uhh. Look, can you do me a favour and look out for Kim, she snuck out?
Person: You're a bad parent.
Jack: Please?
Person: Okay.
Jack: Thank you. (Hangs up, Walsh has entered)
Walsh: Is everyone here?
Nina: Everyone is here Sir.
Walsh: Wasn't talking to you.
Nina: Bastard.
(They enter the CTU conference room)
Walsh: In the next 24 hours there is a threat to kill David Palmer.
Jack: Told you Tony.
Tony: Yeah yeah.
Jack: How good is security?
Walsh: Not very good. The threat is a shooter from overseas.
Nina: What foreign power wants Palmer dead?
Walsh: Any country that hates America.
Nina: So the world is out to get him.
Walsh: Hell yeah baby. Keep Palmer alive at all costs. Good luck people.
Everyone: SIR YES SIR!
(They start to leave, Walsh tells Jack to stay behind)
Walsh: How are things at home?
Jack: Teri's a psycho.
Walsh: TerrorTeri. Kinda fits. Take a seat.
Jack: This is bad news right?
Walsh: There may be an element inside the agency involved on the hit on Palmer.
Jack: So maybe a mole told the CTU staff about the foot-rub I'm supposed to be giving you!
Walsh: Thanks for reminding me.
Jack: Dammit!
Audience: 4 times now.
Walsh: For the next 24 hours I want you all over this. You're gonna be interfacing with every branch of the military.
Jack: I'm the last person on this planet you want on something like this!
Walsh: Actually, I could ask Tony. I could tell him that Jack is a wimp.
Jack: DON'T! I'LL DO IT!
Walsh: That's the spirit. George Mason is coming over to brief you in more detail.
Jack: Shit. Slap-head? The guy's a beurocrat. Should I trust him?
Walsh: Until we know, don't trust anybody.not even your own people.
Jack: Oh crap.
Walsh: We gotta find the shooter before its too late.
(Screen cuts to a plane)
Strange person: Excuse me? How long will it be until we land?
Stewardess: Over an hour Sir.
Audience: He's the shooter! Kill him!
(Screen cuts to a digital clock: 12:20:37, 12:20:38, 12:20:39)
Well, I hope you have enjoyed this part! Please give comments about this! Constructive comments are most welcome!