A/N: This chapter gives a lot of hints toward future plot twists that I think some of my readers may enjoy. I don't remember if I mentioned or not, but I already have through chapter 7 written, I'm just revising them before posting. Anyway, I was oddly satisfied with this chapter. I am sorry to admit, though, that I don't see any of these seven chapters being really long. I will try to make the fresh chapters longer though! Enjoy the chapter and please review, they keep the muse alive!
Chapter Five: The Fork in the Road
I wake up the next morning feeling more confused than ever before. I'd always thought that I'd just become a Death Eater, the Dark Lord would win the war, and that would be that. I never thought for even a minute that there would be anything else for me. But after talking to Hermione last night, I'm not sure what I think or what I want.
What confuses me even more is why she cares. Last night she talked to me as though I was a real person, not like the jerk I've always been to her. She's been the source of many of my problems at home, and she's been incessantly annoying all these years, and because of that I've never giving her a chance. I was always rude to her because she is a Mudblood and I am a Pureblood and that's just how life was. Purebloods do not tolerate Mudbloods is what I was raised to believe.
After last night I don't know what to believe. Hermione was so easy to talk to. I still want power, that seems to be the only clear thing in my mind right now. The thing is, I'm not sure how to get it. If I become a Death Eater I will be expected to join in their entertainment. I don't know if I'd be able to do that without seeing Hermione. She did make a point about the war though. No one knows what the outcome will be. But if I don't join the Dark Lord and he does win then I will not be in a good position, if I do join the Dark Lord and he loses, I will risk death, life in Azkaban, or the Dementor's Kiss. I really do need to talk to someone. I'll go to Snape after breakfast today.
As I walk to the Great Hall I spot Granger. She's back to the bushy haired know-it-all the world knows. I walk into the dining hall and up to the Head table to talk to Snape.
"Professor." He looks at me. "I have some business to discuss with you. Could we meet sometime today?" I hope he understands what I am talking about.
He nods his head slightly. "11 o'clock in my office."
"Thank you Professor." I go to the Slytherin table and eat my breakfast. After breakfast I go back to my room to try and figure out what exactly I am going to say to Snape. I do not want him to think that I am turning my back on the Dark Lord because he might report it to my father who would be furious. At 10:55 I head to Snape's office. I knock on his door.
"Come in!" I hear Snape call from within his office. I open the door, walk in, and close the door behind me.
"Professor." I nod at him. "I need to talk to you about my future."
"I understand." Snape stands up and puts a locking and silencing spell on the door. "What is on your mind?"
He sits back down and I sit in the seat across from him.
"Well sir, I was thinking. My days are numbered until I join the ranks, but I'm not too sure that's what I want to do now."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I want power. I've always thought that the way to power is through the Dark Lord."
Snape nodded his understanding. "What has changed?"
"Well, I talked to - someone - last night and this person showed me things from another angle. I'm not saying that I want to go join Dumbledore or anything, just that I'm not so sure about the path I'm on anymore."
"I understand. Do you not plan to take the mark then?"
"I don't know." I looked down at my hands. "I'm not crazy about the idea of serving the Dark Lord, but my father would not accept it if I didn't take the mark."
Snape looked thoughtful for a minute. "Who did you talk to last night about this?"
I wonder why this matters. I look back up at him. "Remember the revel I went to?" Snape nodded. "I talked to the girl my father was with that night."
Snape looked confused. "How? She was just a mu-"
"A muggle? No, but a Mudblood yes. The girl was none other than Hermione Granger."
Snape's body tensed and the veins in his neck twitched at this announcement. He quickly recovered, though, from his lapse in his emotionless demeanor.
"You talked to Miss Granger about this, why?"
"She asked if I'd taken the mark and from there we just got to talking. She was very easy to talk to, surprisingly enough, and she seemed to understand."
"She would." Snape said barely above a whisper, a touch of bitterness apparent in his voice.
Choosing to ignore his comment and think about it later, I said, "What am I going to do Professor? Father will not be happy if I do not take the mark."
"Perhaps you should go to Dumbledore. I'm afraid I will not be much help to you as I am on the side you are trying to avoid."
"Perhaps so. You know, she said something last night. It's probably the thing that really made me think."
Snape looks up at me. "And what was that?"
"That I'd do better to feign indifference in the matter."
"I will not deny the truth in that statement." There was a hint of regret in his voice that made me wonder how Snape really felt about his decisions in his life.
"You won't tell my father about this, will you?"
"It is not mine to tell."
"Thank you, I suppose I should go now."
"The Headmaster should be in his office."
I nod my thanks. "Good bye Professor."
"Good bye." Snape stands up and unlocks the door after taking the silencing spell off.
I leave Snape's office and head to lunch. After finished a quick sandwich, I proceed to the head table. I approach the Headmaster, an uneasy nervousness filling my body.
"Professor Dumbledore, there are certain situations I was hoping I could discuss with you sometime today?"
The Headmaster looks at me over his half-moon glasses with that annoying all-knowing twinkle in his eye.
"Of course. If you will meet me in my office in, say, 20 minutes." It was not a question.
"Yes sir." I walk out of the Dining Hall and head out to the grounds for a bit of fresh air before my meeting with the Headmaster. I walk along a path for a few minutes before coming along a bench. Granger is sitting on it staring out into her own world.
I sit next to her. "Granger."
She turns her head and looks at me. "Malfoy."
"I talked to Snape." Why am I telling her this?
She tenses a little, then gives me a weary smile. "That's good."
Smart girl, she isn't going to ask for specifics. "I'm going to talk to Dumbledore in a little while."
She looks at me, a little confused. I feel compelled to explain, why?
"No, I'm not going to join the fight, on either side, I am just looking for a way to avoid it."
"He'll be able to help you. You've made a good choice." Why does her opinion matter to me?
"I have to go." Without waiting for a response I get up and walk back to the castle. As I head to the Headmaster's office I think about how much I should tell him, how much I can tell him without compromising myself or my father.
I reach the gargoyle and say the password. I go up the winding staircase and raise my hand to knock on his office door.
"Come in." An irritatingly cheerful voice reaches my ears. I open the door and walk in. Dumbledore offers me a seat and I sit down.
"There was something you wished to speak with me about?"
"Yes sir. I don't know how much you know about my, er, situation," he nods, "but, well, here it is. The path my life is to take has been chosen for me, and I used to think it was what I wanted, but now I am not too sure."
"And you wish for a way to avoid this path?"
"Yes sir."
"You are aware that I will not hold anything you tell me in here during this meeting against you? I am here to help you. I will use nothing you say against you or your family."
Should I trust him? Granger and Snape both suggested that I do so, but I don't know.
"I am supposed to take the mark over Christmas holidays." Why go around it anymore? He probably knew anyway.
"I see. And your father will be quite unhappy if you do not do this?"
"Yes sir. I don't want that anymore."
"May I ask why you've had this change of heart?"
I don't know if he knows about Granger and the revel, so I will not tell him about that. Besides, I still don't know if I can really trust him.
"I talked with Professor Snape earlier today, and last night I talked with a friend. Both conversations helped me to come to realize what I want instead of what my father wants of me."
Dumbledore studies me over his half-moon glasses.
"I understand that what we need to do is find a way for you to stay here over the holidays then. You are of age, so your father does not have that say over you. But if it does happen to cause trouble, I could do nothing if you happened to disappear." He has that mischievous twinkle in his eyes and he is smiling at me.
Chapter Five: The Fork in the Road
I wake up the next morning feeling more confused than ever before. I'd always thought that I'd just become a Death Eater, the Dark Lord would win the war, and that would be that. I never thought for even a minute that there would be anything else for me. But after talking to Hermione last night, I'm not sure what I think or what I want.
What confuses me even more is why she cares. Last night she talked to me as though I was a real person, not like the jerk I've always been to her. She's been the source of many of my problems at home, and she's been incessantly annoying all these years, and because of that I've never giving her a chance. I was always rude to her because she is a Mudblood and I am a Pureblood and that's just how life was. Purebloods do not tolerate Mudbloods is what I was raised to believe.
After last night I don't know what to believe. Hermione was so easy to talk to. I still want power, that seems to be the only clear thing in my mind right now. The thing is, I'm not sure how to get it. If I become a Death Eater I will be expected to join in their entertainment. I don't know if I'd be able to do that without seeing Hermione. She did make a point about the war though. No one knows what the outcome will be. But if I don't join the Dark Lord and he does win then I will not be in a good position, if I do join the Dark Lord and he loses, I will risk death, life in Azkaban, or the Dementor's Kiss. I really do need to talk to someone. I'll go to Snape after breakfast today.
As I walk to the Great Hall I spot Granger. She's back to the bushy haired know-it-all the world knows. I walk into the dining hall and up to the Head table to talk to Snape.
"Professor." He looks at me. "I have some business to discuss with you. Could we meet sometime today?" I hope he understands what I am talking about.
He nods his head slightly. "11 o'clock in my office."
"Thank you Professor." I go to the Slytherin table and eat my breakfast. After breakfast I go back to my room to try and figure out what exactly I am going to say to Snape. I do not want him to think that I am turning my back on the Dark Lord because he might report it to my father who would be furious. At 10:55 I head to Snape's office. I knock on his door.
"Come in!" I hear Snape call from within his office. I open the door, walk in, and close the door behind me.
"Professor." I nod at him. "I need to talk to you about my future."
"I understand." Snape stands up and puts a locking and silencing spell on the door. "What is on your mind?"
He sits back down and I sit in the seat across from him.
"Well sir, I was thinking. My days are numbered until I join the ranks, but I'm not too sure that's what I want to do now."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I want power. I've always thought that the way to power is through the Dark Lord."
Snape nodded his understanding. "What has changed?"
"Well, I talked to - someone - last night and this person showed me things from another angle. I'm not saying that I want to go join Dumbledore or anything, just that I'm not so sure about the path I'm on anymore."
"I understand. Do you not plan to take the mark then?"
"I don't know." I looked down at my hands. "I'm not crazy about the idea of serving the Dark Lord, but my father would not accept it if I didn't take the mark."
Snape looked thoughtful for a minute. "Who did you talk to last night about this?"
I wonder why this matters. I look back up at him. "Remember the revel I went to?" Snape nodded. "I talked to the girl my father was with that night."
Snape looked confused. "How? She was just a mu-"
"A muggle? No, but a Mudblood yes. The girl was none other than Hermione Granger."
Snape's body tensed and the veins in his neck twitched at this announcement. He quickly recovered, though, from his lapse in his emotionless demeanor.
"You talked to Miss Granger about this, why?"
"She asked if I'd taken the mark and from there we just got to talking. She was very easy to talk to, surprisingly enough, and she seemed to understand."
"She would." Snape said barely above a whisper, a touch of bitterness apparent in his voice.
Choosing to ignore his comment and think about it later, I said, "What am I going to do Professor? Father will not be happy if I do not take the mark."
"Perhaps you should go to Dumbledore. I'm afraid I will not be much help to you as I am on the side you are trying to avoid."
"Perhaps so. You know, she said something last night. It's probably the thing that really made me think."
Snape looks up at me. "And what was that?"
"That I'd do better to feign indifference in the matter."
"I will not deny the truth in that statement." There was a hint of regret in his voice that made me wonder how Snape really felt about his decisions in his life.
"You won't tell my father about this, will you?"
"It is not mine to tell."
"Thank you, I suppose I should go now."
"The Headmaster should be in his office."
I nod my thanks. "Good bye Professor."
"Good bye." Snape stands up and unlocks the door after taking the silencing spell off.
I leave Snape's office and head to lunch. After finished a quick sandwich, I proceed to the head table. I approach the Headmaster, an uneasy nervousness filling my body.
"Professor Dumbledore, there are certain situations I was hoping I could discuss with you sometime today?"
The Headmaster looks at me over his half-moon glasses with that annoying all-knowing twinkle in his eye.
"Of course. If you will meet me in my office in, say, 20 minutes." It was not a question.
"Yes sir." I walk out of the Dining Hall and head out to the grounds for a bit of fresh air before my meeting with the Headmaster. I walk along a path for a few minutes before coming along a bench. Granger is sitting on it staring out into her own world.
I sit next to her. "Granger."
She turns her head and looks at me. "Malfoy."
"I talked to Snape." Why am I telling her this?
She tenses a little, then gives me a weary smile. "That's good."
Smart girl, she isn't going to ask for specifics. "I'm going to talk to Dumbledore in a little while."
She looks at me, a little confused. I feel compelled to explain, why?
"No, I'm not going to join the fight, on either side, I am just looking for a way to avoid it."
"He'll be able to help you. You've made a good choice." Why does her opinion matter to me?
"I have to go." Without waiting for a response I get up and walk back to the castle. As I head to the Headmaster's office I think about how much I should tell him, how much I can tell him without compromising myself or my father.
I reach the gargoyle and say the password. I go up the winding staircase and raise my hand to knock on his office door.
"Come in." An irritatingly cheerful voice reaches my ears. I open the door and walk in. Dumbledore offers me a seat and I sit down.
"There was something you wished to speak with me about?"
"Yes sir. I don't know how much you know about my, er, situation," he nods, "but, well, here it is. The path my life is to take has been chosen for me, and I used to think it was what I wanted, but now I am not too sure."
"And you wish for a way to avoid this path?"
"Yes sir."
"You are aware that I will not hold anything you tell me in here during this meeting against you? I am here to help you. I will use nothing you say against you or your family."
Should I trust him? Granger and Snape both suggested that I do so, but I don't know.
"I am supposed to take the mark over Christmas holidays." Why go around it anymore? He probably knew anyway.
"I see. And your father will be quite unhappy if you do not do this?"
"Yes sir. I don't want that anymore."
"May I ask why you've had this change of heart?"
I don't know if he knows about Granger and the revel, so I will not tell him about that. Besides, I still don't know if I can really trust him.
"I talked with Professor Snape earlier today, and last night I talked with a friend. Both conversations helped me to come to realize what I want instead of what my father wants of me."
Dumbledore studies me over his half-moon glasses.
"I understand that what we need to do is find a way for you to stay here over the holidays then. You are of age, so your father does not have that say over you. But if it does happen to cause trouble, I could do nothing if you happened to disappear." He has that mischievous twinkle in his eyes and he is smiling at me.