*****
Chapter 11 - I Love You Draco
A few days later, Draco was pacing about in his room, scowling and muttering under his breath. Crabbe had ruined his ingenious plan. Draco had made a special love potion - although it sounds very corny - and put the potion cleverly inside a cookie. So whoever ate the cookie would fall madly in love with the nearest person. And Draco fully intended to be that person standing next to Hermi - er, the person. (His popular-ness had plunged horribly after the football incident.)
Anyway, as he finished making the cookie, even adding a demented face on it, he folded his arms behind his head and congratulated himself on the brilliant idea. Really, he was the unluckiest person in the world; when he looked around, he saw the rest of the world, but when the rest of the world looked around, they saw him.
But Crabbe had to come poking in his room, looking for food (again).
Seeing the cookie, Crabbe lunged at it with moves that would make military commanders proud. Triumphantly, he whooped a victory cry, and the rest happened in slow motion.
Crabbe had his mouth wide open, about to stuff the cookie in.
Draco screamed. And tried to grab the cookie, but alas, he was too late.
The cookie was already in Crabbe's mouth, being crunched and chewed, a look of pure victory and satisfaction upon his face.
Draco looked like someone had come by and clunked him on the head with a fire extinguisher.
Instantly, a glazed look covered Crabbe's face. He turned to Draco and said seductively (whilst winking), "How you doin'?"
Draco gasped.
The next few minutes passed with Draco screaming bloody murder and running frantically in circles while Crabbe chased him, shouting "C'mere, honeybuns!" or "Smoochiepie!" Draco finally blasted Crabbe out his room, slammed the door and latched it with a spell.
Now, as he paced about his room, he could hear Crabbe murmuring love proclamations and scratching at the door. Draco waited several hours before he could hear Crabbe's distinctive snores, and tiptoed out of the room. Perhaps he would go down to the kitchens...grab a little something to eat. On the way, he just happened to run into Hermione. Putting on his best smirk, Draco threw his shoulders back and prepared to strut his stuff.
"Yo, Hermi," rapped Draco smoothly.
Hermione gave him an incredulous look.
Oh yeah. She doesn't like me rapping.
Draco cleared his throat. "Evening, Granger."
"What do you want, Malfoy? If it's more rapping or, or frog legs or fish gills or whatever, I don't want it."
"Hey, I was drunk," sputtered Draco.
Hermione snorted. "Drunk, my foot."
"Well I suppose you would know!" retorted Draco.
"That didn't make sense."
"Doesn't make sense your mom."
"Oh god," sighed Hermione, "not more of those 'your mom' retorts, please."
"How about uncles then?"
"How about getting out of my face?"
(Oh, that hurt.)
"How about going over to my place?" asked Draco, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Hermione looked taken aback.
"Uh, no."
Draco was disappointed, but recovered quickly. "Well I wasn't serious you know."
"Right.."
"Yeah! Because. I'm better than you! I'm cooler, more loved."
"Yeah, and that's why you made a love potion and put it inside a cookie," snorted Hermione.
Draco turned purpley.
"And how did you find out?"
"I hope you do know that news about Crabbe telling everyone that he loves you is quite well known?"
There was an uncomfortable silence as Draco pondered what to say back to that.
"I'm still better than you," said Draco haughtily.
"Really, you moron, you are the most conceited, stupidest person in the world."
"How silly," said Draco, "you've met everyone in the world?"
"Rahhh!" screamed Hermione in rage. She couldn't think of anything to do to him, so she gave him a swift kick. She reeled back in surprise as she realized Malfoy was doubling over with pain.
She wanted to kick him in the shins... but apparently she aimed too high.
*****
Ouch. This chapter, along with the others, sucked pretty badly. I blame it all upon me being tired and idea-less! *References to 2 Weeks Notice and To Kill A Mockingbird.