Part V

Pansy looped the satin tie to her robe around her waist. She listened contentedly to the sound of the tap turning on and off followed by the soft padding of feet on plush carpeting.

She ran a brush through her blonde hair and smiled as she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist.

"I'm just going to muss it you know..." Miles quipped as he nuzzled her neck.

Pansy tilted her head to the side, allowing him greater access to the length of her neck. "Sure of yourself aren't you?"

Miles murmured a response that was lost to Pansy as he lavished attention on a particularly sensitive portion of her neck. Miles swept her hair to the side as he continued to wreck havoc on Pansy's senses.

Miles finally pulled his head up. "Was I wrong?" He asked with an eyebrow quirked.

Pansy harrumphed and turned around in his arms. Her hands slid up his well-honed chest and came to rest around his neck. "That question is not worthy of a response." She punctuated her statement with a soft kiss. "Now if you give me a minute I'll join you for breakfast then you can "muss my hair", but I'm eating for two now... I do require sustenance," she admonished with a smile.

Miles eyes glowed as he held her, almost reverently, in his arms. "Wouldn't want our daughter to go hungry now would we?"

"Our son is craving bangers and mash this morning." Pansy winked as she slipped from his arms and retrieved a pair of slippers.

Miles watched his wife across the table from him with hooded eyes. He still found it hard to believe that he was going to be a father, that he was starting a family of his own. They were still newlyweds, but after dating for nearly 5 years he was more than ready to fill his home and his heart again.

A large Eagle Owl swooped in toward the table. It landed next to Pansy and proffered a regal leg toward her. Pansy looked curiously at Miles before she removed the letter. The owl was unfamiliar, expensive, yet unfamiliar.

She opened the letter and her eyes widened in surprise. "It's from Blaise." She glanced up at Miles. "He apologizes for having missed our wedding and wants to know if we'd like to get together for dinner or such."

Miles leaned back in his chair. "So Zabini has decided to grace us with his presence again," He drawled.

"Well, last I read he's now engaged to Daphne Greengrass. So, I guess he'll be around permanently." Chuckling at Miles scowl, she glanced back down at the missive. "Seems he ran into Millicent at this year's Hogwart's Graduation."

Pansy rested the letter on the table. "I haven't seen Millie since the wedding now that I think of it. We all really ought to get together. It's been over six months... hard to believe it's been that long." She smiled wistfully at Miles. She debated for a moment... She really ought to pen a reply... but it could wait, couldn't it? As she caught the hot penetrating gaze of her husband, her decision was made. The owl could definitely wait until this afternoon.

_______________________________________________________________________________

It had been 7 years... but it didn't diminish the ache in her chest. A soft breeze lifted her hair off her neck. She always associated the soft beginnings of summer with the pain of loss, despite the numbing effect of time.

She knew she had been irritable the past few days, but it was like that every year. She could only pretend it hadn't affected her for so many days of the year, of her life. But she did her best to maintain the façade. Wes stood to her right, his back ram-rod straight and his eyes somber. He leaned forward and placed a small bouquet of roses in front of the pair of headstones. He bowed his head for a moment, and then looked over at his sister.

Millicent nodded, he'd had his peace, she had yet to find hers but each year she valiantly tried to package it away for another 365 days. Wes inclined his head and slowly headed back to the house, leaving his sister with the graves of their parents and the silence of the morning light.

She heard the crunch of his footsteps fade away as her eyes remained fixed on a point of the horizon just beyond the top of the granite markers. She blinked several times, pushing aside her betraying tears. Crying wouldn't change anything, it wouldn't make anything clearer and it certainly wouldn't bring her parents back.

The soft scent of the roses she held wafted up to her nose. Her mother had always loved the deep red of the flowers in Millicent's hand. She recalled her mother with twinkling eyes remarking that she was infinitely jealous that Millie could wear such gorgeous jewel tones while she never could with her fair coloring - that was if Millie ever got out of her quidditch jumper.

Millicent muffled a sob. She wondered if her mother would be proud of her today, if her father would smile down at her with pride over the choices she had made. Deep down she knew they had loved her and Wes, but she still wished she could be the girl her mother had always wished she could be, a girl they could be proud of rather than the dowdy recluse she had turned into. Millicent crouched down slowly and placed the flowers next to Wes's bouquet. She fisted a hand and put it to her mouth as she squeezed her eyes shut.

A quiet crunch of gravel alerted her to the presence of someone behind her. "I'm on my way Wes." She absently sighed as she tried to regain control of her emotions. She didn't want him to see her like this.

"He said I might find you up here." A deep voice caused her to start.

"Blaise..." She whispered.

Blaise looked down at Millie as she slowly swiveled, still crouched. He remembered standing in the same spot seven years previous. Long dark robes whipping in the breeze, the soft sound of tears from the small gathering. He recalled snaking an arm around his friend who stood silently, her jaw set solidly. A small boy clung to her side, his face wreathed in pain as he tried, unsuccessfully, to not cry. She hadn't shed a tear... he'd never seen her show more emotion than a small tick in her cheek.

"Wha... What are you doing here?" She asked, blinking her eyes rapidly.

"I wanted to see if you and Wes wanted to catch a bite to eat... I forgot what day it was. I'm sorry." He tilted his chin down and took a step towards her.

Millicent waved a hand dismissively. "It's nothing. I'm sure we can arrange something." She murmured, her nerves slowly unraveling... It was all becoming too much as she rested her eyes on his broad shoulders and dark hair. She hadn't let herself reflect on the lunch she'd had with him earlier in the week. She'd immediately thrown herself into work, busying her mind and occupying her thoughts. Then she'd lost herself in the memory of her life 7 years earlier... although Blaise himself was inexorably intertwined with that memory.

Blaise caught the sheen that covered her blue eyes. He reached a hand out toward her. "Millie..." He forgot about the years that had come between them and he saw once again the girl who had so stoically stood next to him while her world crumbled around her. That scared girl, who had hid it all so expertly, still existed inside her and it hurt him.

Millicent let her hand slip into his and he pulled her to her feet. He murmured something before he pulled her into his arms. Millicent felt his arms band around her back and she let her head fall onto his shoulder. She closed her eyes, willing away the wave of emotion that washed over her.

The pain was nearly as fresh as the day she'd seen the ministry officials enter Blaise's house where she had been spending the day. It was nearly as raw as when she had pulled her brother from the corner of his room, his young face awash with tears. She wondered if it would ever cease to burn through her system.

A hated tear coursed its way down her cheek. Her hand flew up to dash it away, but was caught by a stronger grip. "Let it be..." He whispered.

Her eyes flew to his. Blue eyes almost the same color as hers, only more violet in their hue looked down softly at her. "It's okay Millie." He soothed as his other hand softly stroked the length of her back.

It was if he'd never left... she mused briefly as she felt the tears well up and slip down her cheeks. Merlin she loved him. She always had and probably always would. He'd always been there when she'd needed him most. All the feelings she pushed out of her heart when she'd graduated slipped back in swiftly and painfully. She knew he'd never feel the way she did about him, but she didn't have a choice in it anymore.

She hiccupped and his arm tightened around her back. She buried her face into his chest, the soft fabric of his oxford caressing her cheek. "I miss them so much." She whispered quietly.

Blaise remained silent, his own jaw set. Millicent continued brokenly. "I wish I could be the woman my mum wanted me to be... but I'll never be that girl."

Blaise's hand stilled on her back. "Of course you are that girl."

She shook her head against his chest. "No..." She hiccupped again. "No, I'll never be her. I want to be her so much it hurts." Her eyes squeezed shut and Blaise clenched his jaw.

"They would be so proud of you Millie. Look at all you've done." Blaise raised his hand and stroked her hair.

Her response was muffled into his shirt as years of pent-up pain continued to soak his shirtfront. He thought he made out a denial but couldn't be sure. He continued the soothing slip of his hand over the black blouse she wore while he murmured words of comfort and condolence in the hair covering her ear. He wished he could take away the hurt, but he knew this moment was a necessary step.

The pain in his chest eased as the tears she shed finally slowed and the soft summer breeze dried their evidence. How much time went by he didn't know and didn't care... somehow the moment was just right.