Disclaimer: Harry Potter = not mine.
*****
Chapter 12 - Flamboyant.
The love potion had eventually worn off, but the story behind it had not. As Draco made his way to Transfiguration, he saw two little 2nd years giggling and staring at him.
"Look, Humphrey, there's the guy who tried to seduce his best friend!"
Humphrey took one look at the "flamboyant homosexual" and starting laughing with such enthusiasm that tears started rolling down his face; he was slapping his knees clutching his stomach with the other hand, laughing so hard he ran out of breath and his chuckles became wheezes and soundless gasps for air.
Draco raised his eyebrows, and walked calmly to Humphrey and his friend.
"What do you want, mister, are you about to hit on ME too?!" Humphrey's friend gloated with his clever line and looked at the gathering audience with a laugh.
"I want you to shut the fuck up and stop spreading those damn rumors that aren't true, just so you can make your little shit self feel better."
(Crowd goes 'ooohhhh' at the comeback. Eyes shift to Humphrey's friend.)
The friend does his stupid little look-at-audience-with-laugh thing and says to Draco, "HAH. Okay, what will you give me?" asked the friend, thinking along the monetary path.
"Hmm," said Draco with mock-thoughtfulness, putting his hand on his chin and looking upwards, "How about... I give you the finger -" Draco flicked him off "- and a little something to guarantee that you'll never have to visit the dentist again -" Draco punched the guy squarely in the mouth "- and you just shut up for once?"
(Crowd gasps)
No one bothered Draco again about being gay. Humphrey's friend cried for a very long time.
Slowly, with the help of his charm, Draco finally got his popularity back. He started once again to become his arrogant, self-loving self, strutting the halls as if he owned them and bowling through crowds if he needed to get through. Girls once again starting swooning and fainting wherever he passed. Because of course, girls always like the 'bad boys'. And Draco has to become popular again because I say so.
It was spring, and spring meant the spring dance. Okay, maybe not, but indeed, there is going to be a spring dance.
"So, Ron ... are you going to the dance?" asked Harry.
"Eh, I don't know..." answered Ron indecisively.
"I think you should go."
Ron looked at Harry.
"Not with me, of course," Harry added quickly.
Ron titled his head and smiled.
Harry ran away.
Draco, meanwhile, was parading the halls again, swaying his shoulders macho-ly. Everyone fainted. Even guys. Because everyone lubzz Drakie. Seeing Hermione, he did this weird tongue-clucking thing and winked roguishly at her. With his best seductive voice, he said, "I'll be seeing YOU later."
Hermione felt the need to barf. Laughing stupidly, she left the scene of girls staring with jealousy at her.
Later on, Draco finally met with Hermione again.
"Hermione, dahling ... what a coincidence for us to meet."
Hermione snorted.
"Some coincidence, you and your stupid baboons practically cornered me into into here."
"I won't argue with you about the baboon part, but yeah..."
"I wonder why you hang out with such stupid idiots? Why doesn't the hunkster Drakie-kins hang out with cooler people? Oh yeah, Slytherin doesn't have any."
Draco stared. "You just called me a hunkster."
Hermione stared back. "No I didn't."
"Yes you did, you said 'hunkster Drakie-kins'," responded Draco with a smug smile.
"No I meant -"
"I know what you mean," said Draco with this time an evil smile, "YOU like me...."
Hermione started chuckling at the absurdity of the idea.
"Now THAT'S got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"
"You can't deny it, Granger, YOU called me a hunkster, which means you liiiiiike meee...!"
Hermione began laughing more loudly now, she couldn't BELIEVE how stupid Malfoy was...
They both fell to the floor (for some reason), one laughing with almost-frustration and another one laughing with evil triumph.
It was just then that a breathless Harry and Ron came bursting into the room, only to be met by Hermione and Draco on the floor. Alone.
"Well they seem to be having fun," muttered Ron.
"Hermione," announced Harry.
Hermione stopped laughing immediately, cleared her throat and looked around. Man, this situation looked very wrong. What was she doing on the floor with .. Malfoy of all people?
"Hermione," said Harry again, this time suspiciously, "is there something we don't know?"
"Something you should tell us?" finished Ron with one eyebrow raised.
"Well, no -" began Hermione, "Even though I'm on the floor, with Malfoy, alone in a classroom, nothing has happened!"
"Suuuuree nothing has happened," said Draco wickedly.
"Shut up moron!"
"Teehee."
"Dude, you guys, Harry, Ron, I'm NOT sleeping with Malfoy!" stammered Hermione, not very convincingly.
"Of course not," said Harry dully.
"Aughhhhhh - damn it -" Hermione kicked Draco with frustration.
"Bah, you keep kicking me!"
"It's not my fault you're so kickable!"
"Hmm... kickable sounds like lickable!"
"You sick freak!" Hermione started marching away.
"Waiiit - I forgot to ask you to the dance!"
"You don't have to, the answer is no."
"Well why not?" asked Draco.
"Well ... why .. so?"
"Because you don't have a reason not to!"
"I do! ... Because... Uh, HARRY's going with me!"
"I am?" asked Harry with bewilderment.
"Yes."
"Oh."
*****
Dude, that was a weird chapter. And right now, I feel like I'm writing to amuse myself. Where are the reviews? :( I'm not going to become all bitchy and demand them by yelling at you all, and threatening not to update until I get 500 reviews for this chapter. I'm not ever going to say 500 reviews or no update, but still. Leave a review! I don't care what you say. It could be a real review, or a joke, or a recital of the alphabet. Heh, actually, just say something related to the story. Thanks.
*****
Chapter 12 - Flamboyant.
The love potion had eventually worn off, but the story behind it had not. As Draco made his way to Transfiguration, he saw two little 2nd years giggling and staring at him.
"Look, Humphrey, there's the guy who tried to seduce his best friend!"
Humphrey took one look at the "flamboyant homosexual" and starting laughing with such enthusiasm that tears started rolling down his face; he was slapping his knees clutching his stomach with the other hand, laughing so hard he ran out of breath and his chuckles became wheezes and soundless gasps for air.
Draco raised his eyebrows, and walked calmly to Humphrey and his friend.
"What do you want, mister, are you about to hit on ME too?!" Humphrey's friend gloated with his clever line and looked at the gathering audience with a laugh.
"I want you to shut the fuck up and stop spreading those damn rumors that aren't true, just so you can make your little shit self feel better."
(Crowd goes 'ooohhhh' at the comeback. Eyes shift to Humphrey's friend.)
The friend does his stupid little look-at-audience-with-laugh thing and says to Draco, "HAH. Okay, what will you give me?" asked the friend, thinking along the monetary path.
"Hmm," said Draco with mock-thoughtfulness, putting his hand on his chin and looking upwards, "How about... I give you the finger -" Draco flicked him off "- and a little something to guarantee that you'll never have to visit the dentist again -" Draco punched the guy squarely in the mouth "- and you just shut up for once?"
(Crowd gasps)
No one bothered Draco again about being gay. Humphrey's friend cried for a very long time.
Slowly, with the help of his charm, Draco finally got his popularity back. He started once again to become his arrogant, self-loving self, strutting the halls as if he owned them and bowling through crowds if he needed to get through. Girls once again starting swooning and fainting wherever he passed. Because of course, girls always like the 'bad boys'. And Draco has to become popular again because I say so.
It was spring, and spring meant the spring dance. Okay, maybe not, but indeed, there is going to be a spring dance.
"So, Ron ... are you going to the dance?" asked Harry.
"Eh, I don't know..." answered Ron indecisively.
"I think you should go."
Ron looked at Harry.
"Not with me, of course," Harry added quickly.
Ron titled his head and smiled.
Harry ran away.
Draco, meanwhile, was parading the halls again, swaying his shoulders macho-ly. Everyone fainted. Even guys. Because everyone lubzz Drakie. Seeing Hermione, he did this weird tongue-clucking thing and winked roguishly at her. With his best seductive voice, he said, "I'll be seeing YOU later."
Hermione felt the need to barf. Laughing stupidly, she left the scene of girls staring with jealousy at her.
Later on, Draco finally met with Hermione again.
"Hermione, dahling ... what a coincidence for us to meet."
Hermione snorted.
"Some coincidence, you and your stupid baboons practically cornered me into into here."
"I won't argue with you about the baboon part, but yeah..."
"I wonder why you hang out with such stupid idiots? Why doesn't the hunkster Drakie-kins hang out with cooler people? Oh yeah, Slytherin doesn't have any."
Draco stared. "You just called me a hunkster."
Hermione stared back. "No I didn't."
"Yes you did, you said 'hunkster Drakie-kins'," responded Draco with a smug smile.
"No I meant -"
"I know what you mean," said Draco with this time an evil smile, "YOU like me...."
Hermione started chuckling at the absurdity of the idea.
"Now THAT'S got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"
"You can't deny it, Granger, YOU called me a hunkster, which means you liiiiiike meee...!"
Hermione began laughing more loudly now, she couldn't BELIEVE how stupid Malfoy was...
They both fell to the floor (for some reason), one laughing with almost-frustration and another one laughing with evil triumph.
It was just then that a breathless Harry and Ron came bursting into the room, only to be met by Hermione and Draco on the floor. Alone.
"Well they seem to be having fun," muttered Ron.
"Hermione," announced Harry.
Hermione stopped laughing immediately, cleared her throat and looked around. Man, this situation looked very wrong. What was she doing on the floor with .. Malfoy of all people?
"Hermione," said Harry again, this time suspiciously, "is there something we don't know?"
"Something you should tell us?" finished Ron with one eyebrow raised.
"Well, no -" began Hermione, "Even though I'm on the floor, with Malfoy, alone in a classroom, nothing has happened!"
"Suuuuree nothing has happened," said Draco wickedly.
"Shut up moron!"
"Teehee."
"Dude, you guys, Harry, Ron, I'm NOT sleeping with Malfoy!" stammered Hermione, not very convincingly.
"Of course not," said Harry dully.
"Aughhhhhh - damn it -" Hermione kicked Draco with frustration.
"Bah, you keep kicking me!"
"It's not my fault you're so kickable!"
"Hmm... kickable sounds like lickable!"
"You sick freak!" Hermione started marching away.
"Waiiit - I forgot to ask you to the dance!"
"You don't have to, the answer is no."
"Well why not?" asked Draco.
"Well ... why .. so?"
"Because you don't have a reason not to!"
"I do! ... Because... Uh, HARRY's going with me!"
"I am?" asked Harry with bewilderment.
"Yes."
"Oh."
*****
Dude, that was a weird chapter. And right now, I feel like I'm writing to amuse myself. Where are the reviews? :( I'm not going to become all bitchy and demand them by yelling at you all, and threatening not to update until I get 500 reviews for this chapter. I'm not ever going to say 500 reviews or no update, but still. Leave a review! I don't care what you say. It could be a real review, or a joke, or a recital of the alphabet. Heh, actually, just say something related to the story. Thanks.