***Chapter 9***
Paul was looking at the floor, with his back to the door, when I walked into the dressing room…it had been a month since we had, had the "talk"…you know the talk, the one you have before you try to have a decent committed relationship with someone you just can't seem to go through a single day without thinking about them at least 10 million times; and that's even before lunch time…not counting anything after lunch…also not counting the dirty thoughts you have about them, you know the ones where they shove their tongue so far down your throat they can tell what religion you are, and can also tell if you've had your appendix removed.
I had my red wrestling gear on, I had left my hair down and then sat down on one of the metal chairs in the dressing room…Paul stood there looking ever so fine in his jeans, black Triple H t-shirt, boots, hair pulled back…I definitely had to think that he should give the people who make his jeans a fat ass raise, cause they really did wonders for his ass…not to say that it wasn't great to begin with, cause it WAS, it just looked even hotter in jeans…too bad he's not some kind of jean or underwear model…not like he doesn't have the body for it.
Paul turned around and I was just watching the monitor, with my legs crossed…Paul kind of jumped a little and I said, "Problem big man?" Paul smiled and said, "I didn't expect you to be sitting there, I didn't even hear you come in, and I can always hear anyone coming through my door…whether it's open or closed." I said, "Maybe you're slippin'…or maybe you just didn't want to hear me coming in here." Paul said, "Why wouldn't I? You're the first girl in years I've liked who isn't trying to control me."
I said, "Yea well Gimmie time, I'll think of something." Paul sat down next to me and patted my leg and said, "So what's up…I see you in your wrestling garb…who are you wrestling tonight?" I said, "Ivory." Paul said, "You want me to walk out with you?" I said, "Only if you want to…don't do it unless you want to make an appearance for the fans…" He said, "How would you know if I had a match tonight or not?" I said, "Please…I have my informants."
We sat there in silence for a while, and Paul said, "Have you thought anymore about what we talked about as of late?" I said, "Paul, there isn't a day that goes by when I'm not thinking of you, or anything that you've said to me. I like you a lot, and I know I'm really ready for a relationship, especially if it's with you." Paul said, "Yea, I know, but I'm still having doubts about it…like were rushing ourselves…I don't want the same thing to end up happening again, only this time it would be me and you…not us verses someone else…if were going to do the steady dating thing, then it's going to be all or nothing….no more just going to the movies, you know, all the stuff that one person could do, but has someone tagging along with them."
I said, "Paul…look at me…there are so many reasons I like you, so many that if given one day to decided which were stronger…I wouldn't be able to decide…whether it's your off camera sense of humor, or your willingness to make sure we have a perfect relationship despite what everyone else might think….or maybe just the way I can go to you at any time and just lay my head on your shoulder…and you don't get up and walk away…or maybe it's the way you hug me…I love when you hug me…it's like you're wrapping your arms around me, and I'm not only in your embrace, but I'm being pulled into your soul…so I can see what you're really like on the inside."
Paul looked like he was deep in thought and quiet so I broke the silence and said, "If you're still having doubts, then I think we should stop seeing so much of one another, because I'm at a point right now, that every time I see you, my feelings for you become stronger and stronger, and you seem to be putting distance between me and you more and more each day…So as an answer to your question, no I don't want you to come out with me for my match, you'd just be one huge distraction that I wouldn't be able to recover from. I like you God help me, but I can't keep trying to hide my feelings or pretend that their really not there…"
I got up and walked out of the dressing room and down the hall to my dressing room…Paul was totally speechless, and couldn't say a word…He just sat there in total silence, letting the words that I had just said to him, fully sink into his brain…I was hoping to get some sort of reaction out of him, but no such luck…