The New Heimlich Maneuver
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Disclaimer: If it's familiar to you, it doesn't belong to me.
A/N: Happy belated Snickers Week!
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As Nick groggily opened his eyes, the bright green numbers from the alarm clock were staring evilly back at him, practically taunting him as they informed him that he still had thirty minutes until the alarm was set to go off. He sighed as he sat up, knowing he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. He carefully got out of bed so as not to wake the sleeping form next to him, and, having learned from experience, he pulled open the dresser drawer to make sure he had a clean pair of boxers before heading to the bathroom to shower. Unfortunately, he found none, and he had a hunch as to why. He pulled back the bed sheets, rolling his eyes when his hunch was confirmed. He briefly contemplated trying to retrieve his boxers, but he didn't think he could pull them down her long legs without waking her, and he wanted to let her sleep. He'd just have to go back to his place and shower. He left her a note telling her where he was going and quietly slipped out.
The annoying blare of the alarm clock woke Sara from her peaceful slumber. "Turn it off," she groaned with her eyes still closed as the alarm continued to buzz.
Buzz, buzz, buzz.
"Nick, turn it off," she repeated.
Buzz, buzz, buzz.
"Nick." She opened her eyes and rolled over, finally realizing she was alone. She sighed as she reached across the bed to turn off the alarm. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and trudged into the bathroom, where a post-it stuck to the mirror immediately caught her eye.
Went home to shower. No clean clothes here.
She peeled the note off the mirror and tossed it in the trash. She lifted the toilet seat lid and found another little yellow square stuck to the seat. She couldn't help but smile when she read it.
And stop wearing my boxers!
~*~
Catherine walked into the break room and was immediately greeted by some pleasant olfactory sensations. "That smells really good, what is it?" she asked when she noticed Sara putting on lotion.
"Citrus Burst Scented Hand Lotion," Sara read off the bottle and handed it to Catherine. "It says 'hand lotion,' but it's useful for, uh, other stuff too," she added.
"But it doesn't taste like any oranges I've ever eaten," Nick gave Sara a knowing smile.
"Whoa, TMI!" Warrick made a face.
"That's why it says 'scented,' and not 'flavored,' Einstein," Catherine quipped. "But if you're looking for some good flavored lotion, I know a good brand," she winked.
"Can we please talk about something else?" Warrick begged. He hated being the only one, well besides Grissom (as far as they knew), who was unattached.
"Awww, poor Warrick," Catherine put her arm around his shoulder. "We need to find you a girl," she smiled.
"I can find one myself, thank you," he mumbled as he
pushed her arm off his shoulder and got up to get a drink from the mini-fridge.
"Is Griss doing one of his experiments in here again?" Warrick asked as he rummaged through the fridge.
"Don't tell me there's blood in there. It's gonna stink up my sandwich again," Nick whined.
"Not blood. At least I don't think." Warrick pulled out a bottle of bleach.
"Hey, what are you doing with my bleach?" Greg asked as he walked in.
"Yours?" Warrick looked at him.
"Yeah. I put a note on it." He pointed to a bright pink post-it that said 'DO NOT TOUCH. THIS MEANS YOU.'
"Why is it in the fridge?"
"I'm using it to clean my fondue pot. And it works better when the bleach is cold," Greg informed them.
"You have a fondue set?" Catherine asked.
"Why are you bringing it to the lab?" Sara added.
"And why couldn't you use the lab fridge?" Nick glared, wondering if bleach fumes could seep into his sandwich.
"Yes, I fondue, I brought the pot to the lab to clean it because I don't have bleach at home, and I couldn't use the lab fridge because the bleach fumes might destroy the DNA." Greg answered all their questions, grabbed the bleach from Warrick and walked out.
The four CSIs all looked at each other for a split second before going back to their business.
"So which birthday card do you think I should send to my old high school friend?" Catherine held up two cards, one with the Swedish Chef muppet and the other with a cute looking puppy.
"How old is this friend, like five?" Warrick joked at the juvenile cards.
Catherine shot him a look. "I'll use the dog," she said, not waiting for an answer. After she signed the card she pulled out a bag of beef jerky from her purse and took one piece out, placing it inside the card before sticking it in the envelope.
"Uh, Cath?" Nick looked at her.
"It's an inside joke. It involved prom night, beef jerky, and a Jane Fonda workout video," she replied.
"Uh, I was just gonna ask if you were gonna eat the rest of that." Nick gestured toward the bag of jerky.
"Oh. Knock yourself out," Catherine handed the bag to Nick, who promptly pulled out a piece and started gnawing away.
"Hey, it's an egret," Nick pointed at the stamp Catherine was sticking onto the envelope.
"A what?"
Nick bent down to get a closer look. "Actually it's a cattle egret. Also called a-"
"Buff-backed heron," Sara chimed in with a smile.
"Oh man, it's contagious," Warrick groaned.
Nick continued chewing on the beef jerky, ignoring Warrick's remark. "You know, when the female cattle egret lays her eggs, the male-"
"Okay people, we got work to do," Grissom said as he walked in.
"Thank God," Warrick sighed, relieved to shut off the human Discovery Channel.
~*~
Nick pushed open the locker room door and smiled when he saw Sara, or rather her back, which was bare save for the straps of her lacy red bra. Before she could put on her shirt, Nick walked up behind her and snaked his arms around her waist.
"Is that a pickle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" she joked.
"Actually it's a banana," he replied without missing a beat as he pulled the banana out of his lab coat pocket.
Sara smirked.
"That jerky didn't really fill me up. And I threw out my sandwich, just to be safe. I'm starved. Although, I can think of other things that are tastier," he whispered as his teeth began to gently nip at her neck.
"Nick," Sara warned. "Grissom is somewhere in the lab, you know."
"So," Nick mumbled into her neck.
"I don't think he believed us the last time when we said you were giving me the Heimlich because I was choking on Thin Mints."
"Well you're the one that didn't want to tell people about us. You should have known that if we made everyone figure it out for themselves, it would take Grissom awhile."
"After six months, I think 'awhile' is a bit of an understatement," Sara quipped.
"So why are we going topless so early? It's not even midnight yet," Nick asked, stopping his biting to rest his chin on her shoulder.
"I spilled," she replied, showing him the rather large stain on her shirt. "Diet Coke with Lime."
"Geez, klutz, what did you do? Spill the whole can?" Nick gave her a look.
"No," she glared. "Cath and I were playing keep away from Greg in the break room, and she threw the hippo to me and it knocked over my Coke."
Nick raised an eyebrow. "Hippo?"
"She found a hippo beanie baby that Greg was for some reason hiding in the DNA lab, and we were trying to get an answer out of him as to why."
"What was the reason?"
Before Sara could answer, the locker room door swung open. Still clad in just her bra, with Nick's arms around her, she turned around and saw Grissom standing in the doorway.
"Uh, I was choking."
~~The End~~