***Chapter 22***
I had the radio set on an easy listening station…which was definitely something I need right now…God how I HATE rental cars…I'm about 30 minutes away from the arena…but it feels like I've been driving forever…my mind keeps wondering back to Paul…how could he do that…just look me in the eyes and lie to me saying he didn't love me and didn't want me in his life anymore…I could feel a little pain in my chest and I knew automatically I still was hurting from the words he spoke…it hurt so much to hear him say it…
I know it's been a month since Paul broke it off with me…I mean it really feels permanent…I still don't know how the hell to act around him, especially in front of the other wrestlers, when they've seen us together so happy, and now both of us are pretty miserable… Shane did everything in his power to convince Paul that he needed to be with me…and that he was a fool for leaving me just because of their friendship…when some of the other wrestlers found out why we broke up, they thought he was insane…Paul thought he was insane himself, but didn't really have much to say about the whole ordeal, he wasn't trying to explain things to anybody, it was his life and he could do with it as he pleased damn it.
A hand full of the wrestlers had tried asking me out already, but I declined all of them I wasn't about to get thrown back into the pack of wolves and let them ravage what was left of my heart…
Hell I figured I'll just stay single until I die…you know I'd become that little old lady on everyone's corner with the 50 smelly cats…that or maybe I could become lesbian…well maybe not…I'd seen my cousin go through girlfriends since she had came out of the closet about being a lesbian…and it was like she should of installed a rotating door in her bedroom for all the women who waited in line at her place…I wasn't about to let my life get bent out of shape because of some…some…man…
Yea right…my life was already bent out of shape enough…my heart had been folded in 90 million different ways and stuffed into so many jean pockets between Shane and Paul, I had to iron it out just to get a proper heart reading…
My thoughts got really quiet as the rain started coming down on the rental car…good thing too it had so much dirt on the outside of it, I was waiting for it to turn into the mobile mud puddle. I could smell the air…you know the smell, the smell of the fresh air from the rain…it always smelled so good…why is it when you smell the rain you automatically want to be in bed with some hot guy making wild passionate headboard banging love, getting all sweaty and worked up…I think maybe there was some kind of chemical in the rain air that worked up your senses so furious all you could do was thing about sex… I love the rain…dancing in it, making love in it…listening to it…smelling it…everything about rain was great…it always made you want to do things you usually never do…