I'm Gonna Fly
Summary: Lily has led a not so pretty life and now she can only think of one way out and that way is to Fly.
Rating: R for mature themes and language.
Warning: This has suicide and cutting as a very prominent theme. If that offends you, I am warning you now. And unless your in a really freaked up situation that I don't even want to know about, some one is not holding a gun to your head forcing you to read my story. And if so I am flattered that the gunman is forcing you to read my story instead of another.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowlings does. But if you feel like suing go ahead I will laugh my head off and see if there are any hotties in the court room.
Author's Note: In this chapter there is something that caused a huge dispute with me and my beta reader. She said that there was no way that a certain character could have been a death eater in his fourth year. That 14 is way too young for that. I say that in L.A. kids are involved in street gangs at fourteen. In a court of law a fourteen-year-old can be tried as an adult in some situations (i.e.-Murder). And I honestly think that if the option had been placed in front of Draco Malfoy in book two to aid the heir of Slytherin he not only would have helped but would have sold his soul for that opportunity. So if you could review and give me where you stand on the issue I would love you forever.
Chapter Two
Then the Earth and the sky they open together.
Sitting there, Lily decided that waiting to die was more torture then actually killing herself. Wondering how she was going to die. Who would find her body? How much of it would be left to find? If any was left at all… She stared up at the full moon. It was beautiful. Too bad she wasn't going to be around to see it ever again. She got up of the rock that she had been sitting on and walked around the clearing.
Death. That's all she wanted. Was that too much to ask? It seemed like a simple enough request and she kneeled down next to a tree. Well, maybe if the world would give her a break and let have one friend she would accept it. Give up on this death wish. But that was never gonna happen. One thing you had to realize was that just because a child was brought into the world didn't mean it was supposed to be there.
She leaned back, taking advantage of the tree trunk that supported her. They had probably just about finished the sorting ceremony, by now. Another group of children who were going to go through school grow-up and live happy, spiritually full-filling lives, Lily thought sarcastically. It was all going to be over. Soon, she wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. And with that thought, she closed and fell asleep.
She was awakened by a snapping, a heavy footstep. She opened her eyes to see a boy with black hair. He looked to be about her age. Green lining on the cloak, gotta be a Slytherin…an ugly Slytherin… She noted mentally. He glanced around the clearing, but his eyes did not catch her in the shadows. Sighing the boy, sat down and ran his hands through his greasy, chin-length hair. And too her surprise the Slytherin started talking to himself.
"'Prove my loyalty'? How the hell does he want me to do that! I guess I could kill some mudblood…" he said. Well if this wasn't a sign of how she was going to die she didn't know what was.
"Like me," Lily said. The boy jumped up and turned and took in her features in surprise. She was cute, Fourteen with a height that was slightly on the small side, though she was more developed than most girls in their year. Her straight auburn hair went down to about the bottom of her ear. She had deep green eyes which at the moment were devoid of any emotion just an emptiness that could have rivaled that of the most tortured human being.
"What the fuck are you doing out here," He snapped at her. How dare she come out here and interupt him. She was a little Griffindor. It was as if the girl didn't get how much better than her he really was.
She didn't move at all as she answered him, almost as if she wasn't here, as if she was somewhere else and this shadow of herself was dealing with him. "I don't have to answer unless you answer that question, too."
"Why you little bitch! Stop trying to play cute with me," The boy warned.
"How can I be playing with you when I don't even know your name," she responded, coolly. She was keeping her face and voice completely deadpan. She really didn't care who he was but she figured from the earlier snippet of monologue she had heard, that if she got him angry enough he would do something drastic and she wouldn't have to deal with this world, this life, anymore.
"Are you joking? Everybody who's anybody knows me," He said, haughtily, which earned him a look that said 'Do I look like an anybody to you?'. The Slytherin pressed ahead. "I am Severous Snape."
"My name is Lily, my last name is of absolutely no concern to you as I will not be here much longer," The young-adult stated. This seemed to piss the other boy off.
"What the hell are you trying to pull? Are you implying that I do not disserve to know!" Snape was outraged this pathetic excuse for a witch was trying to tell him he was below her. And she wasn't even a real witch she was a mudblood. Now, the day that a Mudblood would be better than Severous Snape was the day that he would fall in love with one. And that was never going to happen because—
Suddenly realization hit Snape. Death wouldn't hurt her. He didn't know how he could explain it but it just wouldn't. Living would. Something in her eyes told him that. So to really hurt her he had to do something that would make living even more painful than it already was.
Lily didn't like the sudden change in the way he was looking at her. It had changed, with absolutely no explanation very quickly, from her being dirt to her being a piece of meat. She didn't like that look. She had had men look at her that way since she had lost her baby fat, but she never thought anything of it... untill now. She didn't think of herself as pretty, how could she she had scars all over her body from the four years worth of heavy abuse she had taken.
The only light that night was the full moon. An eerie light that would make it hard to make out his features when he was on top of her. Lily tried hard at the beginning to stop him. But then gave up. And through it all the voice in the back of her head repeated over and over again the same words that she had wrote in her diary back home. 'Why bother? Why Try? Why Care? Why not?'
That night Lily Evens was raped by a boy she had known less than an hour who didn't even know her last name.
That's Chapter Two. Hoped you all liked it… Yeah I know it was short and for that I am sorry but I really didn't want to write this chapter and so I kept it as short as possible. But thanx for reading all the same and if you want I have another story up now called The Demetors in my Head. Go ahead and check it out it's only PG for mild swear words. And it's good. It's one of my humor ones. It's just made to be amusing cause last night I was in too upbeat of a mood to write this.
Now for thanking my reviewers.
jacy – Thank You! I live for Dark Fics the humor ones are good too but the Dark ones are where you usually get some plot. Not that this one has any…at least not yet.
starborn – THANX A MIL FOR ADDING ME TO YOUR FAVES! I READ YOUR STORY AND I LOVED IT! :$ That maybe part of the reason this is late. but hey that is ok. I couldn't stop read I may have to go to group therapy for it. "Hi my name is Danni" "Hi Danni" "And I am addicted to reading my reviewers fanfics" audible gasp from rest of the group LoL!
Neila Nuruodo the Chiss – NEILA! MY FRIEND! THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING IT MEANT A LOT! AND ADDING ME TO YOUR FAVORITES EVEN IF I DID BEG YOU TO DO IT.
Young Golden Unicorn – Thanx! Your Kewl just for reviewing!
River Goddess – AND THE FIRST EVER PERSON TO ADD ME AS ONE OF THERE FAVES * - GOLD STAR YOU HAVE MADE ME HAPPY! AND A TWO TIME REVIEWER TO I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU WHEN I DON'T GROW UP
Mystic Queen – I know it's sad but as one of my favorite sayings goes The Brighter the Light at the end of the tunnel, the Darker the tunnels got to be. And this one is Dark. So here gives her a flashlight… Batteries not included!
kitty – Yeah the who saves her bit…Still hasn't happened and probably won't for a while but that's what makes the endings happier when they do happen.
Jess S – In answer to your question yes it's a full moon. But I bet you didn't see that one coming. Yeah it's gonna be L/J but it's gonna take a while. Thanx I love angst. But it scares my english teacher I even manage to have my Term Papers turn out morbid. LoL!