***Chapter 24***
I pulled into the arena and naturally the parking garage has no roof…how can you have a parking garage with now roof? I run for cover after locking up the rental car…what for you ask, I wouldn't want anyone to steal the mud puddle now would I? By the time I'm at the back door, the security guard had it open for me but I'm drenched anyway…I walked in and said, "How's everything going tonight Animal?" He said, "Just fine Ms. Andrews." I said, "Don't work too hard big man…life's too short." He said, "Yes, ma'am, good luck with your match." I said, "Thanks." And took off to my dressing room…
When I walked into the dressing room, it was cold and quiet...too quiet, I walked over and turned the radio on, what luck a different station playing that same song I just heard…this time I sat down and just listened to the words…I stared in the mirror, the water dripping off my long hair…I feel like a wet poodle…and if I let my hair get curly from the water I'll look like one as well…the longer I sat there wet and freezing and listening to that song, the more I wanted to go to Paul's dressing room and shake some sense into him…my jeans are sticking to my legs and so is my t-shirt…I can feel the water squishing around in my steel-toed boots, and my toes are freezing…
"THAT'S IT!" I said to myself in the mirror… I left the room in a fury… I walked down to Paul's dressing room…and knocked on the door…about 3 minutes later he opened the door and said, "Michelle, you're soaking, it must be raining…" I said, "No I decided to go for a swim with all my clothes on…" Obviously dripping with sarcasm, Paul said, "Okay, you're in mood aren't you?" I said, "A mood??? A MOOD?" Paul held the door open and said, "You wanna come in and talk about it?" I said, "No, I want you to turn into a psychic and read my thoughts." Also obviously dripping with sarcasm… Paul said, "Oh yea…a mood."
I walked in as Paul closed the door behind him…and said, "Okay what's on your mind?" I said, "I have a few things I'd like to get off my chest…other then this wet cold t-shirt…" Paul said, "Okay, go ahead."
I said, "First of all…How dare you…I mean really, How dare you pick my ex-husband over me? He's not going to love you and kiss you and hold you when you need it the most…and I sure as hell know he's not going to have sex with you…I'm so frustrated, and so mad, and I'm so in love with you…you ass…why can't you just for once say something to me that you mean…something from the heart…something that I'd love to hear other then 'I'm sorry I can't be with you anymore, I prefer my friendship with your ex-husband over my love for you'…I mean, you won't understand how much I fully love you, or how much I'm in love with you, until you get your head out of your ass and pay attention for once."
Paul said, "Stop right there…" I said, "Oh think again little man…I'm not finished…not by a long shot…Paul Michael Levesque, I love you…I've loved you for the last 4 years of my life…and I don't want to stop loving you…believe me I tried, it doesn't work that way…I can't be in love with you one minute and not the next, I don't work like that….and it's either stay in love with you and put myself through some kind of special torture by staying on the wrestling tour, or quit and go back to being a doctor with my father…and believe me if I was given a choice I'd rather stay in love with you…because I don't want to spend another day in my life without you…because I love you so much right now, my heart hurts to be standing 5 feet away from you and know I can't be with you…" I was on the brink of tears, but kept my composure…
I got really quiet and Paul couldn't say anything, he was just kind of shocked and dumb founded at the same time…I said, "I just thought I'd tell you…I'm going to quit the tour…something has got to give…and I guess it's going to have to be me…after tonight I won't be back…and this time, you get to tell Shane, you know, since you guys are such bros and everything." I pushed my hands in the front pockets of my jeans and walked out the door and down to my dressing room again…Paul just stood there unable to move and watched me walk out of his life…again.