I'm Gonna Fly

Summary: Lily has led a not so pretty life and now she can only think of one way out and that way is to Fly.

Rating: R for mature themes and language.

Warning: This has suicide and cutting as a very prominent theme. If that offends you, I am warning you now. And unless your in a really freaked up situation that I don't even want to know about, some one is not holding a gun to your head forcing you to read my story. And if so I am flattered that the gunman is forcing you to read my story instead of another.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowlings does. But if you feel like suing go ahead I will laugh my head off and see if there are any hotties in the court room. Song is by Sydney Forest.

Sorry this one took so EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG! I had a term paper and it had to be done. So if anyone would like to come to my high school and help me kill my English teacher that would be much appreciated. And last night I had to go to a Relient K Concert! And you wouldn't want to deny me that would you? LoL. I thought not.

Congrats to AllMyOwn for getting the answer. This ones for you.

Chapter 5

Don't wanna watch it all go by, so I'm gonna fly.

It seemed to permeate every aspect of the moment. An udder sense of terror, of helplessness, of total incapacity to save the girl. They didn't know anything about her; short of that she was a Gryffindor. That they could tell only by the red and gold scarf that she wore loosely tied around her tiny neck, that one couldn't help but notice with the object of vanity turned weapon poised their. Four creatures sat in the tiny room, a girl, a stag, a dog, and a rat.

Lily moved the object over about three inches. She gently began to apply pressure her hollow eyes turned to the floor and were given a distorted image of herself from the tiny fragments of glass that had become embedded and scattered all over the carpet. The crimson of dried blood gave the twisted view of herself a very morbid and imposing back ground of the situation.

She watched where she had drawn the piece of reflective glass across her neck. The line turned white for a moment then red as blood began to appear in a growing line she was slowly apply more pressure as she drew closer to her throat when she heard the sound of a scream. The kind of noise that a cornered creature would make she looked up to see the dog whimper and make eye contact with the stag.

A small smile played across her now pale face, which appeared even paler next to the crimson sticky fluid that was pooling quickly around her cut. "You all seem to be exceptionally smart for animals," she said in a soft, sweet voice, as if talking to a two-year-old. "And yet why I can't expect you to understand my reasons, I'm guessing you realize what I'm doing. It's not as if you care. I'm just talking to myself. First sign of insanity," The girl commented.

The rat seemed to be disturbed he kept running between the stag and the dog, squeaking to the fates themselves, trying to change what was going on. The black dog seemed to be withdrawn staring at the girl a sort of mixture of fear and concern on his features. The stag was different he seemed to be on in an emotional war, one side being determination, the other uncertainty. One thought kept going through his head I can't just let her die!

He wasn't attached to her in any way what so ever, had never laid eyes on her before tonight. Maybe she was a year or two younger. She seemed pretty little. But judging was something he shouldn't do. She was definitely in pain and he had to do something or else she'd die. But what could he do. He couldn't stop her in his animagus form without hurting her. And judging by what he had seen more pain would only make it worse. But if he changed back he could save her without bringing her to harm, yet then he would have to trust a girl he didn't know with one of his deepest secrets and that also meant he would be target to the wolf if he woke up.

But would he be able to live with the mark of another human life on his conscience?

For one occupant of the room the world was starting to go fuzzy. She shouldn't have stopped to talk, she didn't have the strength, the energy to press on. She leaned forward, on all fours trying to support her weight she was panting and air was suddenly an unattainable commodity. Her fingers slowly uncurled around the shard of glass, displaying that it's jagged edges had cut into the flesh of her hands. Blood now flowed from those wounds, adding to her loss of it. She leaned back against edge of the fireplace. Beads of sweat were now forming on her lip and forehead. It all hurt. Life hurt and that's why she was getting out.

It was really going to happen to her this time. This time, there was no one here to save her. No reason why it wouldn't happen and then suddenly she felt a touch of…regret. Over what she couldn't tell, for she had no idea. Maybe that it had not gone so bad. Maybe it was that no one would miss her no one would wake up tomorrow and wonder where she was. No one would ever need to talk to her. No one would go looking for her, well until her teachers started to notice how many times they were writing down her name on the absentee list.

And for a moment she thought it was a mistake. For a split moment she thought that maybe it she stuck around something in her fucking life would give. And for once that thing wouldn't be her. Than she remembered all the shit that she had been through in her life. Every night that she had been tied up. Every night that she had been beaten, cut, branded, or burned. She remembered every single tear that she had shed, laying on her bed, vainly hoping for her life to get better.

And then there were the things she couldn't remember. Not ever hearing "I love you." Never having any one tell her "good job" or "I'm proud of you." She couldn't remember her dad. She would sit there trying pointlessly to conjure up memories, to make him more than the man in pictures but she couldn't. That's what father would always be to her. A word. A word with no meaning, no sentiment, no reality.

It was getting hard to even think now. Lily lifted her hand and lightly traced the bloody line across her neck. She raise her arm and held it away from her so she could look at it. She held it near her face as if confirming to herself one last time that this was actually happening. She was gonna leave this earth just fly away. She wasn't gonna sit here and watch it anymore. She was getting her wish.

She put her hand to her face to help her neck support her head from falling forward. Her blood mixed with sweat. Lily could smell it. The smell made you want to vomit, and Lily had to fight back the retching that her body seemed to be doing as a reflex. The stench of sweat mixed with the almost faintly metallic scent of blood. Her eyes began to flutter and she didn't fight it. The small girl's frame hit the floor with a sickening thud.

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The stag couldn't take it anymore. He had watched the whole sickening scene, hoping beyond hoping that he would think of the girls name or something insightful enough to stop her from taking her life. This plan had been unsuccessful. He had sat there like a mindless idiot and watched the whole thing. He watched her run her hand along her neck and stared at it with the same vacant realization as the teen whose blood it was. But he couldn't do anything, it was like he was sitting in a waking dream on which he had no control over.

It didn't become reality until her small frame slumped against the bloodstained, glass-strewn floor of the horrific shack. Until then it was a dream, a sort of psuedo-realism where you exhisted and that was all. Interaction was beyond you, especial in situations like this, situations where interaction was the thing that was screamed for with every nuance of the moment. The stag stood there observing the whole incident waiting for it to stop, for him to wake up, for anything.

Then realization hit him, with all the pain and cruelty that reality is associated with. He was in the room with a girl whose life was quickly fading away, draining from her very body with the substance that poured from her wound. And he could change that…But at the risk of his own life. The deer glanced toward the limp form of the wolf. He was asleep for now but how long would it last. He glanced back at the girl and realized the simple truth of the moment…What kind of person would I be if I just let her die?

In the eerily silent room, a soft pop could be heard. The dog and the rat seemed startled and went rigid as there heads snapped back to the source of the noise, surprise written all over there features. There suspicions were confirmed. He really was that stupid! Where the stag had stood there was now a boy. Fourteen years of age, dark hair, blue eyes, glasses, Hogwarts robe, and according to the other two occupants of the room at the moment, no common sense what-so-ever.

The boy didn't seem to be wasting any time in getting to the girl's side. The speed at which he reacted seem to break the dark spell her act had but upon the room and it's occupants and the animals followed the boy to her side. He quickly untied and retied the girls house scarf, this time much tighter than before. The cloth which had been created to identify her personality to others, was now preserving it so that others would get to know what that personality was precisely. It was disturbing watch the gold stripe slowly become crimson where it was touching the open wound.

The boy began to pick the girl up to get her to the castle or at least out of mortal peril, when they heard a sound that made their blood go cold and their eyes grow wide. A unmistakable feral, vicious gowl.

I know, I know…Enough with the cliffhangers! But believe it or not they give me incentive to write. So lets start thanking some reviewers shall we?!?

Lamina Court—A new reviewer! Thanx for reading Jen. Yeah I read profiles too.

Neila Nuruodo the Chiss—Yeah, Neila, how could I forget with you pestering me about it all the time at play practice.

Young Golden Unicorn—You got the Artist that's a lot more than most got! Great job! And as always Thanx for reviewing.

CrazieBabieMeg—Don't we all…sighs Thanx for reviewing! I love newbies!

cessa—I know! You can't help but feel sorry for her… Thanx for reviewing.

EuGIeBeAr—Yet another new victim…Muwahahahaha…ok I probably just scared a lot of people away from reviewing LoL. Thanx for reading it!

AllMyOwn—Very good! Give your friend my congrats! And from a first time reviewer too! insert one of those anoying talk show noises they use for first time callers

River Goddess—Ah thanx River Goddess It wouldn't be a chapter without you reviewing!

Tarabella—LoL I know but like I said earlier it will come into the plot or else I wouldn't have done it…

starborn—And ladies and gentlemen always one of the first to review! Starborn! audible cheer rises from audiance Thanx for reviewing! Love hearing from you!

Alriadne—You can never add too many stories to your faves! And tanx and gattling guns for reviewing!