I'm Gonna Fly

Summary: Lily has led a not so pretty life and now she can only think of one way out and that way is to Fly.

Rating: R for mature themes and language.

Warning: This has suicide and cutting as a very prominent theme. If that offends you, I am warning you now. And unless your in a really freaked up situation that I don't even want to know about, some one is not holding a gun to your head forcing you to read my story. And if so I am flattered that the gunman is forcing you to read my story instead of another.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowlings does. But if you feel like suing go ahead I will laugh my head off and see if there are any hotties in the court room. Song is by Sydney Forest.

Chapter 6

Higher than I ever could.

Let me be insane, please. Just tell me I'm hearing things. Those were the first and most desperate thoughts that went through James Potter's mind. But, what he neglected was fate. And fate doesn't care who you are, where your going, and how desperately you want or need something. Fate really couldn't be less indifferent to your cause. If anyone needed proof of that all they needed to do was glance at the girl he had in his arms.

It was then that the irony of the situation struck James. It wasn't the amusing kind of ironic situation, like muggle comedies focus on. This was the kind that really existed. Cruel, uncaring, twisted darkness. And there wasn't a thing he could do to change it. He was going to die at fourteen, not even knowing the name of the girl he died for, and the best he could hope for was that neither one of them would suffer.

The dog growled and brutally threw itself at the wolf. The wolf seemed so intent on it's obvious prey, that in its bloodlust he had completely been ignorant of the other two's presence until the dog barreled into his side. Teeth found weak spots and fresh blood oozed out to stain the floor for the second time that night. The wolf didn't seem interested in the dog at all his eyes only left the two humans when his survival in this battle depended on it. He had gone forever without blood. He wasn't going to let this opportunity slip past so readily.

James needed to help. There was no way that Padfoot could hold him off on his own. Sure, Padfoot was a great fighter but he was no match for a werewolf. Yet, something stopped him from intervening, from fighting the fight that was just as much his as it was the dog's. And that was the frail life that lay in his arms. He may have stopped the bleeding but she still had lost a lot of blood. If she was going to survive she would need help, and the boy would be damned if he had done this only to have her die because of his inaction.

So, it was set in his mind that he would have to get her back to Hogwarts. It was then it dawned on him. There was no way he could take her up to the infirmary. He couldn't explain his absence without things getting ugly. He looked down at her. There were claw marks on her arm and her uniform was partially shredded from the short time that the wolf had got to her. He would have to take care of her himself…If he could even take care of himself.

He grabbed one of the old photographs off the mantel. The frame was so dust-laden that you could not even begin to formulate the image that lay behind the grayness that covered the glass. James ran his thumb over the edge of the dusty pane, knowing that this was possibly the last thing he would change in this world. Then he did something, the only thing that occurred to his desperate mind at the moment. The fourteen-year-old took aim, cranked his arm back and launched the object at one of his best friends in the world.

The heavy projectile found its mark, proclaimed by the sickening thud that accompanied it as the object and the wolf who he had thrown it at fell to the blood-spotted carpet. James sighed and ran his hair through his hands he would have to tell Remus how he had gotten that bump, which he wasn't exactly looking forward to. He had to get the girl to someplace safe but he couldn't take her back to Hogwarts. With one final glance at the werewolf the boy headed toward the sixteen wooden steps that led to the only safe place for her, the master bedroom.

The dog watched them leave and just shook his head mutely. He wasn't sure which of them was stupider the girl or his best friend. Though at the moment they both seemed to have a death wish. The canine rolled his eyes and followed the teenage duo up the stairs. If for no other reason then to find out her damn name!

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

The dog padded in just to see the boy gently lay the girl down on what remanded of the torn, mutilated mattress that lay upon the floor. The bed frame had long since been torn and bitten to pieces, shards of which still adorned the floor. He watched silently as the boy went over and bolted the door and pushed a scratched, badly battered chest of drawers over to the doorframe. He rested his head against it, closed his eyes, and let out a sigh of relief and tension, trying to remind himself that he wasn't out of the woods yet.

The soft sound of the teen's sigh almost covered the faint pop from near the window. The boy suddenly found himself jerked around and thrown forcefully into the furniture he had just moved. It wasn't hard enough to knock him out but it was hard enough to knock the breath out of the dark haired boy who knew he'd have a dark bruise tomorrow to prove testimony to that. He found himself jerked up and staring to the deep dark brown eyes of his best friend.

Those eyes now held an anger in them that they seldom did. It was in that moment that James doubted that he had done the right thing. "Are you a fucking moron! We've been animagis for a month and a half and you've already given us a damn good way to get caught! You shouldn't have kept her here, James!" His friend was furious. All summer they had talked about how not to get caught, all the things they wouldn't do. Their first time doing that here at Hogwarts and they were already playing with fire.

"What was I suppose to do dump her on the doorstep? Or even better, sit there and watch her die. Sirius, cut the act even you wouldn't have been that much of an ass!" Why was his friend acting like this? He had done the best thing. No, it hadn't been the right thing but it had been the only thing he could do. The only option that had made any sense but he wasn't helping her at all standing there arguing fruitlessly with Sirius about it.

He had to heal her. He turned around and aimed his wand at the tiny female frame. "Esu—" James uttered the first syllable when the unthinkable happened. The tiny girl, the helpless one who had been dependent on him for survival a few short eternities ago, lay on the tattered mattress, just as he had left her. Except for one thing, she had turned her head and opened her eyes.

James' blue eyes went wide with shock. Green haunted orbs silently blinked back at him. The pain and the disappointment that lay in them, repressed yet there, was disconcerting. They didn't seem to focus, as if she could see everything and nothing at the same time. Both boys took an involuntary step backwards as she seemed to magically lock eyes with both of them at the same time.

The girl simple question the girl uttered haunted them through out their dreams for the future. The darkness of the moment said volumes yet nothing at the same time. Pain permeated the moment, and the three young humans very souls. Something like this is not easily forgotten and leaves a deep mark. A scar. Not a visible one but ever present all the same. "Why can't I die?"

There ya'll go. As always thanx for reading. Sorry this took so long but I got a part in the junior-senior play even though I'm a sophomore. (It's weird don't ask…) Anyways on to my reviews.

LJKalways—I know isn't it just the sweetest thing ever!

Hermione's evil twin—Who says that it's gonna be "typical" Muwahahahahahahahaha.

Amelia—Another new victim I am gonna have to make buttons for all you guys that say "First time Sucker… I mean reviewer".

The Infallible Teller—Thanx I love the graphic stuff. J And I read Papa don't preach you did an awesome job on that one.

Neila Nuruodo the Chiss—Yeah he can have his doggy treat now. Or give it to Padfoot.

Cessa—Three Cheers!

EuGIeBeAr—Yay! Another return reviewer. Tanx!

starborn—The authentic of all the reviewers! Love ya! Guess who's back…back again…starborn's back…tell a friend!

Lamina Court—Lamina…L-A-M-I-N-A now backwards A-N-I-M-A-L! Very kewl thanx to Neila for pointing that out.

CrazieBabieMeg—Thanx! That's what I was going for! And you didn't need to tell me your not on drugs I have enough burn-outs wandering around my school to figure out that one! wink

River Goddess—Thanx! It wouldn't be a chapter with out hearing from you!