Chap 4
AN: Hey! I want to thank all you reviewers for your support. You don't know how great it is to get such kind reviews. Thanks again, I love you all! And, I am sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up. This week has been hectic. I'm in a musical at my school and it's Tech Week. Bear with me.
And, a quick message to neptunestar: Now, don't go posting reviews like that and reading my mind. Sydney's a smart girl; she knows what to do. And I'm thinking along the lines you are. So, congrats for being a psychic and knowing what I was going to write.
Okay, on with the story.
RECAP: "Nope, your turn to listen. Since you left, there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of you. And since you've come back, there hasn't been a moment I haven't thought of you. Sydney, you need to know that what I'm telling you is true. I never got to tell you before you died, and now that I have you back, I want to tell you. I love you."
"I love you. And I have always loved you."
"Vaughn, you don't know how much I wish I could say I feel the same, but I can't. You just said goodbye to your wife, to whom you also said I love you. The request is final, and there is nothing that could change my mind. Nothing. My new partner is coming in from Langley in two days. I'll be taking three days off, and then she will be fully instated. After that, I don't know what will happen with you, but I wish you luck. Please, leave me be. We already have the mission specs and I know you already know them. We still have about 10 hours until we're in Jakarta. All I can ask you to do is honor my request." Vaughn didn't say a word. It had been his once chance to convey how he felt and Sydney had shot him down. His heart was breaking, but he had to respect her wishes.
"Yes." He said simply. And as he stalked back to his seat, I felt my stomach drop. As calmly as I could, I walked to the bathroom. Then, though, I couldn't hold it in anymore. Right as the door closed I fell to my knees and threw up. Once I had finished, I sat back against the wall. I didn't want to feel like this. I wanted to tell Vaughn how much I loved him and missed him and wished I could hold him again. But I couldn't give in to him. He would take over my mind and cause me to think what I shouldn't. How would I survive this mission?
Brrrriiiiing!! Brrrriiiiing! My cell phone rang in my pocket. I fumbled around for a second and then retrieved it.
"Hello?"
"Sydney, it's me." My father's voice resounded through the phone.
"Hi Dad."
"I wanted to see how you were doing." He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
"I'm all right. I'm in the bathroom. Vaughn and I... had an argument."
"Well, Dixon just got word that your new partner will be in tonight. You can meet her tomorrow when you get back. Her name is Amy Kristian. She's 27 and one of the highest ranked agents in her field."
"Sounds good. Where will she be staying?"
"Dixon is getting a hotel for her for now. We'll just see how long she stays."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"She does still have some obligations in D.C. If she is summoned back, she will have to go."
"What if she is summoned? Would Vaughn be my partner again?"
"Possibly. We'll have to see."
"Okay, I guess we'll cover that if it happens. For now I think I'm going to go rest."
"Yeah, that sounds good. Call me if anything comes up." In other words, if Vaughn comes anywhere near you, call me and I'll beat him down.
"Of course, Dad. Thanks."
"Bye, Sydney." I hung up and slipped the phone back into my pocket. Shaking my head once, I stood up again and looked in the mirror. I had gotten slightly paler, but I still looked fine. I ran my fingers through my hair a few times and silently decided that I was okay. I couldn't let Vaughn know I was upset. He had the crazy ability to see through me in a way no one else ever had. In fact, back before we had even gotten together, he had been able to read me like a book.
***Flashback*** It had been a horrible day. I had a fight with Francie and then had to go to SD-6 for a meeting. Sloane had a mission, but had decided to just send Dixon. I was so mad. Now, I was supposed to meet Vaughn for a counter mission, which I didn't need since there was no mission. The funny thing is, I usually looked forward to my moments with Vaughn. Yes, he was taken, but that didn't mean I couldn't like him. I slapped a smile on my face and walked into the warehouse. When I saw Vaughn leaning against the chain fence, the smile on my face was no longer fake. "Sorry I'm late. Sloane ran over on the briefing." "It's no problem. Don't worry." He looked at me and my eyes met his. "What's wrong?" "What are you talking about?" "Something's wrong, I can tell." "I'm fine." There was a long silence. "I promise, I'm fine." "Ok. So what's the mission?" I exhaled deeply. "I knew it, something's wrong." "Sloane won't tell me what the mission is. He just sent Dixon. The only reason I was called in this morning was to find that out." "That's all?" How did he do that? "No. Francie and I had a fight earlier. She was upset because we made plans for next week, but I had to cancel because of a meeting. She thinks I work for an overpowering bank." "I'm sure it will turn out okay. From what you've told me, I can tell she's a good person." "Thanks, Vaughn." "But, Syd, just tell me next time." "I just felt that it was unimportant." "That doesn't mean you have to lie. You promised you were fine and you're not. And this is an insane job we have to do. Don't compartmentalize like that. You could do some permanent damage." ***End Flashback***
I was sad to admit it, but he had been right. Holding in all my emotions right now was doing some serious damage. Had I not just gotten sick? But it always seemed there was one thing that gave away that I was upset. Eye contact. If I didn't lock eyes with him, I would be fine. I took one last breath and walked back to my seat. His eyes were on me the moment I entered the cabin again, but I avoided them. I sat facing away from him, put my C.D. player back on, and reached for my book. But I didn't feel like reading my book. I guess I could just look over the mission specs again.
Mission Location: Jakarta, Java, Indonesia Mission Objective: Locate and retrieve a vial of genetically targeted poison. Gain access to the computer network and destroy programming for poison. Layout of building: See scan of building. Infiltrate on lower level and proceed to basement. Use splicing clip to get into security system. Shut down cameras and laser system. Agent Bristow will then proceed to the hallway to the left and will proceed to the vault. Use scanner to break in and retrieve vial. Agent Vaughn will take the right hallway and head to the computer login area. Break onto system and copy information on the genetically targeted poison. Then delete all files and leave area. Rendezvous at entrance ASAP and leave the premises.
Easy enough, right? To put it crudely, it was a smash and grab job. My kind of work. The problem was, I couldn't focus. And not focusing meant someone was going to get hurt. I didn't want it to be him. But I didn't want it to be me. A fear began to grow inside me and it was then that I came to terms with my emotions. I may never be with Vaughn again. And it would slowly but surely kill me inside. I loved him. If it comes down to his life or mine, there will be no question about it. His well-being comes before mine.
AN: Hey! I want to thank all you reviewers for your support. You don't know how great it is to get such kind reviews. Thanks again, I love you all! And, I am sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up. This week has been hectic. I'm in a musical at my school and it's Tech Week. Bear with me.
And, a quick message to neptunestar: Now, don't go posting reviews like that and reading my mind. Sydney's a smart girl; she knows what to do. And I'm thinking along the lines you are. So, congrats for being a psychic and knowing what I was going to write.
Okay, on with the story.
RECAP: "Nope, your turn to listen. Since you left, there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of you. And since you've come back, there hasn't been a moment I haven't thought of you. Sydney, you need to know that what I'm telling you is true. I never got to tell you before you died, and now that I have you back, I want to tell you. I love you."
"I love you. And I have always loved you."
"Vaughn, you don't know how much I wish I could say I feel the same, but I can't. You just said goodbye to your wife, to whom you also said I love you. The request is final, and there is nothing that could change my mind. Nothing. My new partner is coming in from Langley in two days. I'll be taking three days off, and then she will be fully instated. After that, I don't know what will happen with you, but I wish you luck. Please, leave me be. We already have the mission specs and I know you already know them. We still have about 10 hours until we're in Jakarta. All I can ask you to do is honor my request." Vaughn didn't say a word. It had been his once chance to convey how he felt and Sydney had shot him down. His heart was breaking, but he had to respect her wishes.
"Yes." He said simply. And as he stalked back to his seat, I felt my stomach drop. As calmly as I could, I walked to the bathroom. Then, though, I couldn't hold it in anymore. Right as the door closed I fell to my knees and threw up. Once I had finished, I sat back against the wall. I didn't want to feel like this. I wanted to tell Vaughn how much I loved him and missed him and wished I could hold him again. But I couldn't give in to him. He would take over my mind and cause me to think what I shouldn't. How would I survive this mission?
Brrrriiiiing!! Brrrriiiiing! My cell phone rang in my pocket. I fumbled around for a second and then retrieved it.
"Hello?"
"Sydney, it's me." My father's voice resounded through the phone.
"Hi Dad."
"I wanted to see how you were doing." He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
"I'm all right. I'm in the bathroom. Vaughn and I... had an argument."
"Well, Dixon just got word that your new partner will be in tonight. You can meet her tomorrow when you get back. Her name is Amy Kristian. She's 27 and one of the highest ranked agents in her field."
"Sounds good. Where will she be staying?"
"Dixon is getting a hotel for her for now. We'll just see how long she stays."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"She does still have some obligations in D.C. If she is summoned back, she will have to go."
"What if she is summoned? Would Vaughn be my partner again?"
"Possibly. We'll have to see."
"Okay, I guess we'll cover that if it happens. For now I think I'm going to go rest."
"Yeah, that sounds good. Call me if anything comes up." In other words, if Vaughn comes anywhere near you, call me and I'll beat him down.
"Of course, Dad. Thanks."
"Bye, Sydney." I hung up and slipped the phone back into my pocket. Shaking my head once, I stood up again and looked in the mirror. I had gotten slightly paler, but I still looked fine. I ran my fingers through my hair a few times and silently decided that I was okay. I couldn't let Vaughn know I was upset. He had the crazy ability to see through me in a way no one else ever had. In fact, back before we had even gotten together, he had been able to read me like a book.
***Flashback*** It had been a horrible day. I had a fight with Francie and then had to go to SD-6 for a meeting. Sloane had a mission, but had decided to just send Dixon. I was so mad. Now, I was supposed to meet Vaughn for a counter mission, which I didn't need since there was no mission. The funny thing is, I usually looked forward to my moments with Vaughn. Yes, he was taken, but that didn't mean I couldn't like him. I slapped a smile on my face and walked into the warehouse. When I saw Vaughn leaning against the chain fence, the smile on my face was no longer fake. "Sorry I'm late. Sloane ran over on the briefing." "It's no problem. Don't worry." He looked at me and my eyes met his. "What's wrong?" "What are you talking about?" "Something's wrong, I can tell." "I'm fine." There was a long silence. "I promise, I'm fine." "Ok. So what's the mission?" I exhaled deeply. "I knew it, something's wrong." "Sloane won't tell me what the mission is. He just sent Dixon. The only reason I was called in this morning was to find that out." "That's all?" How did he do that? "No. Francie and I had a fight earlier. She was upset because we made plans for next week, but I had to cancel because of a meeting. She thinks I work for an overpowering bank." "I'm sure it will turn out okay. From what you've told me, I can tell she's a good person." "Thanks, Vaughn." "But, Syd, just tell me next time." "I just felt that it was unimportant." "That doesn't mean you have to lie. You promised you were fine and you're not. And this is an insane job we have to do. Don't compartmentalize like that. You could do some permanent damage." ***End Flashback***
I was sad to admit it, but he had been right. Holding in all my emotions right now was doing some serious damage. Had I not just gotten sick? But it always seemed there was one thing that gave away that I was upset. Eye contact. If I didn't lock eyes with him, I would be fine. I took one last breath and walked back to my seat. His eyes were on me the moment I entered the cabin again, but I avoided them. I sat facing away from him, put my C.D. player back on, and reached for my book. But I didn't feel like reading my book. I guess I could just look over the mission specs again.
Mission Location: Jakarta, Java, Indonesia Mission Objective: Locate and retrieve a vial of genetically targeted poison. Gain access to the computer network and destroy programming for poison. Layout of building: See scan of building. Infiltrate on lower level and proceed to basement. Use splicing clip to get into security system. Shut down cameras and laser system. Agent Bristow will then proceed to the hallway to the left and will proceed to the vault. Use scanner to break in and retrieve vial. Agent Vaughn will take the right hallway and head to the computer login area. Break onto system and copy information on the genetically targeted poison. Then delete all files and leave area. Rendezvous at entrance ASAP and leave the premises.
Easy enough, right? To put it crudely, it was a smash and grab job. My kind of work. The problem was, I couldn't focus. And not focusing meant someone was going to get hurt. I didn't want it to be him. But I didn't want it to be me. A fear began to grow inside me and it was then that I came to terms with my emotions. I may never be with Vaughn again. And it would slowly but surely kill me inside. I loved him. If it comes down to his life or mine, there will be no question about it. His well-being comes before mine.