Title: Holding Out for a Hero
Author: Kristy Marie
Rating: PG
Pairing: BX
Genre: so it's a two shot/one shot Song Fic
Disclaimer: Of course Joss has the BtVS stuff and Michael W. Smith has this song. I just own my nice little iMac computer, and a shiny new iPod Mini (it's so cute!)....
Distribution: TTH, FF.net, let me know where else it travels to...
Author's Notes: Xander didn't go to Africa, he actually traveled with Buffy and Dawn to Rome, he didn't want to leave his Summers girls... This is my first song fic so hopefully it will go okay. I had to download this song (legally from iTunes!!) for a relative and got to thinking about the lyrics and they wouldn't let me sleep.... Feedback is greatly desired as it boosted my day from mediocre to a 'oh happy day' feeling.
I Will Be Here For You
Xander lay awake on his bed with the 'Ultimate Scooby Playlist' playing lightly in the background. Andrew had compiled the list from everyone's suggestions and it was probably the most mixed collection of music ever. It seemed there was a song for every mood a person could have. The only problem was, Xander was unsure what mood he was in. The last two weeks had been the strangest in his life. It made him wish.. no wait, no wishing... made him want the simplicity of facing an Apocalypse on the Hellmouth. The weirdness was due to Buffy. It was like she had turned into some lioness and he was the prey. Just the thought made him shudder. He had asked Dawn if she knew what was up, but the answer had some analogies to cookie dough that he just didn't quite grasp. 'No wonder Giles was always frowning whenever we tried to explain something,' he mused, 'there was a communicational gap, actually ravine'. He was still left wondering as to what the flirtations Buffy had been sending his way meant. Then he heard some Christian rock song come on... 'Must of been Amanda's song contribution...'
**
When you feel the sunlight
Fade into the cold night
Don't know where to turn
I don't know where to turn
**
'When was the last time any of us looked at the sunlight? We're always in the cold night. It's hard to turn away from the night once your use to it. That is part of Buffy's problem. She could never turn away from the darkness of her world.'
**
And all the dreams you're dreaming
Seem to lose their meaning
Let me in your world
Baby, let me in your world
**
'She was always wanting a normal life, but she turned down any chances she was given at normal,' he paused, letting the thought bounce around... 'She turned me down for Angel all those years ago, I could have given her normal, given her her dreams.'
**
All you need is someone you can hold
Don't be sad, you're not alone
**
'She always said she was alone, she was The Chosen One, it was destiny. But all of us were there along side her, Giles, Willow, Dawn and so many others, hell, even Cordelia was there. I was always there to help pick her up, even when she wasn't there for me.'
**
I will be here for you
Somewhere in the night
Somewhere in the night
**
'God, how many times was I there for her. When she drowned, when she was sick, when she couldn't face starting college, when Riley left her, when Willow went all scary, when Spike raped her, I was there for the First, I was even there for her when they pushed me away Senior year. Am I here for her now?'
**
I'll shine a light for you
Somewhere in the night
I'll be standing by
I will be here for you
**
'I'll always be there watching and waiting suppose. What was it Anya had sang, 'when things get rough he just hides behind his Buffy', well, Ahn, you were right, she was always there, in her own special place in my heart. Just like all my girls, I'm there for all of them.
**
In this world of strangers
Of cold unfriendly faces
Someone you can trust
Oh there's someone you can trust
**
'Can I open that place up and let it grow for her? Can I see if she will trust in me? It would be hard for any of us to find someone out there in the world, someone 'normal', who didn't know the truth. We could never open ourselves up for that kind of relationship. I know her secrets and she knows mine. We aren't strangers.'
**
I will be your shelter
I'll give you my shoulder
Just reach out for my love
Reach out for my love
**
'I have always loved her, I've always tried to protect her, even if she did end up saving my butt most of the time. I'll always give her my shoulder, my love and my heart. Will she accept it, if I offer?'
**
Call my name and my heart will hear
I will be there, there's nothing to fear
**
'All she would have to do is say yes. The three letter word she didn't say last time. I was and still am the heart, as long as she let's her own heart feel, then I can too.'
**
I will be here for you
Somewhere in the night
Somewhere in the night
I'll shine a light for you
Somewhere in the night
I'll be standing by
**
'If she wants someone who can understand the night with her, I know I can, after all, I've lived in it for 7 years. But I'll also take her into the daylight, remind her about the people she fights for, the people she has died for. I will stand beside her and watch her, help her, protect her...' With a new lightness in his heart, Xander gets up and heads towards Buffy's room as the last words of the song filters out of the speakers...
**
I will be here for you
**
The End