Chapter Four: It all Started with Chunky Glue

A/N: Don't ask, it's an inside joke, this chappy's full of them… but some of them are explained.

"Girls!" came Will's voice from the foot of the stairs.

"What?" they called back.

"Jack and I are going to do some shopping."

Beth and Lissie looked at each other, grinned, then ran out of the room where they were looking through pictures from middle school and high school. They bolted down the stairs, grabbing their shoes and purses.

"We're coming too!" said Beth. Lissie nodded.

"No, you're not!" said Jack who appeared next to Will.

"Why?" demanded Lissie.

"Because it's man shopping," replied Jack.

"On, you have to do your manly shopping for manly things!" mocked Lissie. "Drills and hammers and electronics…"

"Yeah, and Jack, we're running out of milk and eggs, could you run by the store and get some?" asked Beth as she and Lissie laughed.

"That's not man shopping!" said Will. "That's—"

"Wait, I have a list, hold on, let me get it out of the kitchen," Beth and Lissie laughed even harder.

"No! Will and I are not grocery shopping! That's what women do!"

"And we are not women," said an exasperated Will. "And stop laughing, you two!"

"Fine then," said Lissie. "Go do your manly shopping."

"Have fun!" said Beth.

"Don't talk to strangers, and REMEMBER THE BUDDY SYSTEM!" yelled Lissie. "William, did you hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Will.

"Beth, when we come back, the house had better not be in ruins!" yelled Jack.

"Why would I do something like that?" asked Beth. "That's something Lissie would do!"

"Hey!" said Lissie.

"OW!" exclaimed Beth. Lissie had just kicked her.

They heard the door shut as the guys left.

* * *

"Good one, Jack!" said Will once they were in Jack's car. "Man shopping… they totally fell for it!"

"Well, we are!" he backed out of the driveway. "To think they almost came with us…"

"But why should we keep this a secret?"

"Because you don't know what color I want mine to be."

"Do I want to know…?" asked Will slowly.

Jack smiled. "Tye dye."

Will laughed. "You're joking!"

"No, I'm not."

"But Beth would strangle you!"

"But nothing. You don't know my plan. I'm going to let her catch a glimpse of it, then at the wedding, wear a normal black one."

"I'm not even going to pull a prank!" You know Lissie…"

"Sadly, yes. OUCH!" Will had just smacked his arm.

"Is it too late to stay SPIDER?!"

"You know, I can just let you out here," he began to slow the car down.

"That's okay…"

"And I was just joking about the Lissie thing."

"Good."

"But not about the prank."

"Not good."

"You should do the same… get bright purple or something…"

"No way, I'm not like you. I'm getting plain black, that's it. I don't want to look like I'm in a time warp from the 80's."

They laughed, and as Will turned on the radio, they laughed even harder. The song 'Time Warp' was playing.

"Oh, God, this day is so ironic," said Jack as they walked into the shop.

How incredibly right he was.

* * *

"What can we do?" asked Beth. "We already looked through all the pictures from both our graduations."

"Uh… we can watch Lord of the Rings?" asked Lissie.

"Why…?"
"Oh, please, you know why—"

"Lissie! Don't you dare say—"

"Your secret crush on Elijah Wood!"

"It's a good thing Jack isn't here, or else I'd be forced to… do this!" Beth grabbed the bottle of her chunky, Elmer's glue and squeezed it over Lissie's head. But what she didn't realize was the fact that the top was open, so it fell out on her head.

Beth gasped as Lissie screamed.

"I swear, I didn't know it was open—"

"Oh really?!" yelled Lissie.

She ran to the fridge and grabbed a giant bottle of ketchup and flipped the cap off. She squeezed it and it got all over Beth.

Beth screamed, it got all over her white shirt and in her hair.

"Whoops," Lissie said innocently.

Beth grabbed a head of lettuce off the counter as Lissie turned around to grab more stuff out of the freezer. She threw it, and it hit her head.

"OUCH!" screamed Lissie. "Why is my head so heavy…"

Beth started cracking up. The glue on her head caused it to stick to the top of her head.

Lissie felt around, then felt the lettuce. She screamed as loud as she could. Beth kept laughing. Lissie reached into the freezer and started throwing hot pockets at Beth as hard as she could. One hot pocket missed Beth and hit the 'on' button of the stereo. It started to play 'The Anthem' by Good Charlotte as loud as it could. Another missed Beth, and hit the end of a spoon on the counter.

The spoon had creamed corn on it, and it flung back and hit Lissie in the eyes.

"OUCH! MY EYES! MY EYES!!!" she yelled as she rubbed them frantically.

Beth was rolling on the floor by now.

Lissie, in her furious attempt to get the creamed corn out of her eyes, hopped around the room, and knocking a box of froot loops into the fish tank, which contained Gus and Bob. Beth had had those fish since 8th grade, and once when Lissie had watched them while Beth was on vacation, froot loops got knocked into their tank again. Miraculously, they survived.

She finally got the gunk out of her eyes, but she suddenly realized what had happened.

"Oh no! It's dejavu!"

Beth looked up, and saw multi-colored circles floating in the tank.

"LISSIE!!" she screamed as they started to eat them. "GET THEM OUT!!!"

"They survived on them before, but if you say so…"

"Yes, I DOOOOO!!!!!! EEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!"

Lissie had just chucked a bunch of soggy cereal down Beth's back.

"CURSE YOU AND ALL HALFLINGS!!!!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. At the same time, they both ran to the fridge and grabbed two bottles of whipped cream. As they did so, Beth knocked a gigantic decoration—a bowl of marbles—on the floor. The bowl didn't break; it was made of plastic, but the marbles were dumped all over the floor. They started to slip, and Beth did, but Lissie hung on to the door of the fridge. She shook up her bottle of whipped cream as Beth did the same.

"DON'T WANNA BE YOU!" they both screamed along with the stereo. As they sang, they started squirting. When the bottles ran out, and they, along with the walls, were covered in whipped cream, Lissie slipped as well. She fell, and landed on her back. The lettuce finally detached itself from her hair.

"Nice one, lettuce head!" laughed Beth.

"Oh shut up, ketchup!" yelled Lissie.

"This is just like 8th grade…" said Beth. "We were so immature…"

"And we haven't changed a bit!" said Lissie. Then, she got up with some difficulty and took a pot of creamed corn they guys had left out on the counter from lunch. Beth stood up, not noticing Lissie had taken a handful of it. She grabbed an apple.

If only they had looked out the window, or heard the car doors slam, the footsteps coming onto the porch…

"I've wanted to have a major food fight for the longest time…" said Lissie.

"Technically, you have. Eighth grade…"

"No, but not like THIS!" she yelled as she threw the corn. It hit Beth in the face, and she threw the apple, then spotted a puddle of creamed corn behind her. Just as she threw it, she lost her balance and crashed to the floor. Lissie caught the apple, but as she threw it back, she too lost her balance and fell to the floor.

Both the corn and the apple flew through the air in the same directions… to the doorway…

Ooh, this is just like old times…. CLIFFHANGERS!!!!! YIPPEEEE!!!!!