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Chapter 31: A Start

June 25th

4:12 PM

The Loft

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Mimi asked, looking warily up the long staircase leading to the loft.

Collins looked concernedly at her.

"You want to work things out, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then you have to take a chance here. Look, I talked to Roger yesterday and he seemed really miserable. I think. . .you need to take the leap now before it's too late."

"You mean you think Roger would. . ."

"Not necessarily that. But I wouldn't put it past him."

Mimi sighed, then nodded and started up the stairs.

"You okay?" Collins asked softly.

Mimi turned and glared at him.

"Okay, okay. Just thought I'd offer." Collins held up his hands in protest.

Mimi paused at the door to the loft, just staring at it as she tried to find the strength to go in.

"Need help knocking?" Collins asked coming up behind her.

Mimi jumped slightly then smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah, I guess I do."

Collins knocked lightly on the door as Mimi tried to hide herself behind him.

Mark answered a few moments later, much to their relief. He closed the door behind him and stepped out, giving Mimi a warm hug.

"Good to see you again."

"Yeah," Mimi said shyly, "You too."

"Is this an okay time?" Collins asked cautiously.

Mark shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. You want to come in?"

Collins nodded.

Mark opened the door again and Collins and Mimi followed him in, taking seats around the table in the living room. They could hear the sound of Roger tuning his guitar in the other room. Collins looked at Mark, then went over and knocked on Roger's door.

There was a moment of abrupt silence, then Roger stuck his head out.

"Yeah? Oh, hi Collins."

"You want to come eat with us?"

"Eat what?"

"I don't know. Just. . .come sit."

Roger looked at him suspiciously, then pushed past Collins into the living room. He was halfway to the kitchen when he caught sight of Mimi. Roger stopped in his tracks as though he'd just hit an invisible wall and stared at her in shock.

"Um. . .hi?" he said awkwardly after a few moments.

"Hey." Mimi answered weakly.

Collins went back over to the table and sat down, then gestured for Roger to follow. Roger obeyed after shooting a nasty look at Mark. Mark in turn picked up the stack of papers he'd been reading through and went into his bedroom.

"So." Collins said finally.

"So. . ." Roger repeated.

"Yeah. . ." Mimi said, staring at the tabletop.

Collins elbowed her gently.

"Oh. Yeah. Um. . .Listen, Roger. . .I know I said it's over but. . ." she trailed off.

Roger perked up slightly.

"Yeah?"

"I guess. . .I miss you?"

"Okay."

"And I. . .wanted to talk to you?"

"Okay."

"So. . .how've you been?"

"Wonderful." Roger muttered, "Just fucking lovely. It makes my world so much brighter when my girlfriends try to kill themselves."

Mimi's head shot up at that and she glared at Roger.

"That's a real good way to start working things out."

"Mimi, I don't know what to say! You leave like you did and then just expect to come back and have everything be okay again?"

"No! That's not what I expect. I just expect to be able to talk to you. Is that too much to ask, Roger? We can't fucking talk about this?"

"Not if you're going to be like this we can't! My God, Mimi, I don't even know what the hell happened!"

"Yeah? Well I do! You had to make it all about you. I don't know why I thought it would be any different. You're still you."

"Guys!" Collins broke in.

They both stopped and looked at him. Collins could practically feel the tension radiating off of them.

"What?" Roger asked finally.

"You want to work this out, right?"

"Yeah." Roger answered immediately.

Mimi glared at him.

"I don't know. I thought so. But now I'm not so sure."

Mimi laughed bitterly and got up.

"Where are you going?" Roger asked sharply.

"I don't know. Away from you. I don't have time to waste on your fucking drama, Roger. Either we talk about this or I leave."

Roger snorted.

"Fine, go."

Mimi looked at him for a moment, her eyes shining with hurt, then turned and hurried toward the door.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait!" Collins called after her.

She spun on her heel.

"What?"

Roger stared at the floor.

"Look, I'm sorry," he muttered finally. "I don't know what I'm saying anymore."

Mimi sighed and sat back down.

"I know, Rog. But that doesn't make it hurt any less."

"Good," Collins said softly.

"What?"

"You're being honest. That's a step in the right direction."

Roger laughed sadly.

"What?" Mimi asked.

"Look at us. . .we can't even talk without a mediator. We'd kill each other."

Mimi offered him a weak smile.

"So. . .what are we gonna do?"

Roger sighed.

"I don't know. Do. . .you really think we can work this out? I know I don't want to go on hurting you. . ."

Mimi shrugged.

"Obviously we can't go on like this. But. . .I don't know if I could forget you."

Roger nodded.

"I know."

"Can I break in again?" Collins asked.

"Yeah." Roger agreed.

"Just a suggestion. I think you two need some time alone."

"Yeah. . .Like what?"

"You still have those tickets to Santa Fe?"

Roger nodded, his eyes lighting up.

"I think it's time you scheduled that trip."

"Okay." Roger agreed enthusiastically. He turned to Mimi. "You agree?"

She looked at him skeptically, wanting to believe that it was that easy but afraid to be hurt again at the same time.

"I don't know, Rog."

"Why not?"

"Well. . .because apparently we can't even sit in the same room and talk without trying to slit each other's throats. Do you really think going away together is going to help? How can we know it won't make things worse?"

Roger looked at her imploringly.

"Look, Mimi. . .I don't know that it'll help. Hell yeah it could make things worse but. . .I don't think we really have a better option. Unless you're ready to just give up," Roger said softly, his voice harsh with suppressed tears.

Mimi took a deep breath.

"All right. I'll give it a try. But you have to promise me you'll try too. And I mean really try."

Roger nodded firmly.

"Anything it takes. So. . .I'll call and make the reservations today?"

"Yeah."

Collins got up and Mimi followed.

"You're leaving?" Roger asked, disappointed.

She looked back and forth between them for a moment, torn.

"Yeah. I guess. . .I think it's best if we don't rush into this too fast."

Roger nodded reluctantly.

"All right. I'll miss you."

She smiled at him.

"Hurry up and make those reservations."

She went over to Roger and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. Roger moved instinctively to embrace her but she moved away.

"Not yet."

She turned and followed Collins out of the loft, leaving Roger aching with longing.

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Author's Note: You'll like the next chapter, I promise. I had soooo much fun writing it. And the best part is I already have it so I can post whenever I want . . .depending on how many reviews I get. Hint hint…