AN: Sorry for the wait, I have exams and lots of assignments. I hope you enjoy this chapter :) Please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see in this series.
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May 18th 2012
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Jondy sat on the roof of the building she was staying in, watching the sky. Stars had always fascinated her at Manticore, after she realised that the stars didn't stop at the Manticore boundary fence, like she had to.
And now, sitting in the grime and filth of New York City, the stars seemed clean and safe and they promised her something. Like maybe she would make it to her thirteenth birthday. Maybe even her fourteenth, so she'd almost be as old as Zack…
Jondy chastised herself. No, if she was fourteen, Zack would be eighteen. He'd be a man, then. Jondy wondered what happened to men at Manticore. The only men there were guards and doctors and Lydecker.
Jondy dangles her legs over the ledge, looking down twelve stories. She wonders if she could jump that far and still land on her feet. Max always used to land on her feet. Jack was the only one who couldn't.
Jondy sits, watching the sky. New York wasn't what she had hoped for back in Manticore. At Manticore, it seemed almost frivolous and such as easy city. Now she was a part of it, Jondy knew that New York was hard and complex, a city that lost it's soul sometime before she was born.
Jondy think about souls. She wonders if she has a soul. She wonders if a soul is a good thing you must earn, or a bad thing you were given and want to get rid of.
She wonders if Zack and Lydecker and Eva have souls. And what happened to Eva's when Eva died. Jondy doesn't understand the things, like souls and love, that they talk about in the books she found. Or maybe she does, but doesn't like what she reads.
She's different now; her hair is light brown and loosely curled to her shoulders. Like caramel or something. Having long hair is still a novelty; washing it and brushing it and putting ribbons in it. Hats still amaze Jondy; why cover up your hair? But then, she never leaves her baseball cap behind. It means that the men that accost her on the street can't see her eyes.
She's scared one day that Lydecker will be one of those men, and he'll see her eyes and take her back to Manticore. Without Zack or Max or Eva. That thought makes her cold and then she starts to work out how long since the day Zack found her. Eight months and seven days. That makes her feel colder. Maybe Zack's dead too. Jondy doesn't like to think that she's the only one left. That makes her cry.
But she's not the only one, is she. There's more of them out there, Zack said so. But she doesn't know who and she doesn't know where, which makes it worse. Because she's not alone, but she is.
It's getting colder up here and Jondy knows she should go inside, to the apartment Zack gave her, otherwise the seizures will start. She's almost run out of money, and she can't be milk or tryptophan anymore.
He's been waiting awhile. Almost an hour, which is a lot of time to Zack. It took him an hour to leave Tinga to get to Brin and move her to where Zane was before Lydecker got to Brin.
The door swings open and she's there, before him. And Zack isn't surprised very often; on the contrary, Zack doesn't like surprises. But Jondy surprises him, and this is the first surprise he's ever warmed to.
Her hair is long now, shoulder length. And she's wearing a skirt - something old and once blue, that falls to her ankles - and an old knit sweater. And the baseball cap is on backwards, like the day he found her.
She still looks fragile and delicate.
"Zack." She's troubled by something and Zack wants to reach out and ask her what's wrong, and if he can help. But he doesn't know how. He's sixteen and she's twelve and the only thing they have in common now is fear. Fear instead of live ordinance drills, or Escape and Evade.
"Jondy."
She stands against the door, her hands behind her back, watching him carefully. "Why are you here?"
"I came to make sure you're okay," Zack replied, taking a step towards her.
"You left me alone in a motel room, Zack. You didn't even tell me you were leaving," Jondy replied, her voice quivering a little. She doesn't tell him she waited four days in that motel room, hoping maybe he'd come back.
"Jondy," Zack says, tiredly. He's had this conversation with all of them so far.
She ducks her head, almost in submission. "How long are you staying?" She doesn't look at him.
"I'll leave tomorrow night," Zack replies, almost like a peace offering. Jondy looks up at him, hope lighting her eyes. Zack hates the way she looks at him, like he's her saviour, her everything… hell, maybe even her older brother.
"Did you… have you found Max?" Jondy blurts out as Zack takes off his leather jacket and hangs it over a chair. "Is she okay? Does she hate me?"
Her eyes are full of hope and for just a second, Zack wants to hold her and protect her and kill anyone who tries to cause her pain. But he reminds himself Jondy doesn't need protection. She is meant to be someone else's protection…
"Jondy…" Zack begins and her face falls. "I can't tell you who got out. It's a safety risk."
Jondy nods. Zack hates how meek and silent New York has made her and wants to take her to Krit and Syl and make her laugh and smile.
"I haven't got any money left," Jondy says clearly as Zack goes to the kitchen.
Zack knows. Before she got back, he checked. She has a gun under her pillow, with the safety on. She's run out of tryptophan and milk, and she's reading far too many trashy romance novels to fill in her day. The television is tuned to reruns of sitcoms and the radio to breezy pop music that makes Zack doesn't understand. There's no food or drink, and he wonders how long it's been since Jondy had some tryptophan. Or since she had something to eat.
"I'll go out and get something after I have a shower," Zack replies. "There's something for you in my jacket." A look flits across Jondy's face, and Zack knows that look; it's a look that's been on each of his siblings' faces - his jacket is not safe with the others. To them, it's a nice piece of clothing that will fund their next whim…
Jondy nods. And reaches for the jacket. It's worn to the perfect stage and Jondy wonders what Zack would do to her if she tried to sell it on the street.
Her hands meet something smooth and almost like paper. A thick wad of money, tied with a ribbon. Rent, food and tryptophan money. Jondy pulls the ribbon off the money, looking at Zack, surprised. He's not one for sentimental things like ribbons.
"From Tinga," Zack replied simply. "Don't you touch my jacket." He vanishes into the bathroom.
Tinga. A ribbon from Tinga. Jondy perches on the couch and strokes the ribbon. So smooth and pale blue. She wonders if Tinga intended it for her or maybe for Brin. Maybe Tinga meant for Zack to give it to Brin but Brin didn't make it, so Zack gave it to Jondy…
Doesn't matter, really. Jondy goes into her bedroom and puts the money, with the ribbon tied around it, in her bathrobe pocket. Tinga's out and she's okay.
And Zack told her that.
Zack watches Jondy read later on that night and he has remind himself that he has to leave her behind again and that she'll be okay. She's just like the others.
---
May 18th 2012
---
Jondy sat on the roof of the building she was staying in, watching the sky. Stars had always fascinated her at Manticore, after she realised that the stars didn't stop at the Manticore boundary fence, like she had to.
And now, sitting in the grime and filth of New York City, the stars seemed clean and safe and they promised her something. Like maybe she would make it to her thirteenth birthday. Maybe even her fourteenth, so she'd almost be as old as Zack…
Jondy chastised herself. No, if she was fourteen, Zack would be eighteen. He'd be a man, then. Jondy wondered what happened to men at Manticore. The only men there were guards and doctors and Lydecker.
Jondy dangles her legs over the ledge, looking down twelve stories. She wonders if she could jump that far and still land on her feet. Max always used to land on her feet. Jack was the only one who couldn't.
Jondy sits, watching the sky. New York wasn't what she had hoped for back in Manticore. At Manticore, it seemed almost frivolous and such as easy city. Now she was a part of it, Jondy knew that New York was hard and complex, a city that lost it's soul sometime before she was born.
Jondy think about souls. She wonders if she has a soul. She wonders if a soul is a good thing you must earn, or a bad thing you were given and want to get rid of.
She wonders if Zack and Lydecker and Eva have souls. And what happened to Eva's when Eva died. Jondy doesn't understand the things, like souls and love, that they talk about in the books she found. Or maybe she does, but doesn't like what she reads.
She's different now; her hair is light brown and loosely curled to her shoulders. Like caramel or something. Having long hair is still a novelty; washing it and brushing it and putting ribbons in it. Hats still amaze Jondy; why cover up your hair? But then, she never leaves her baseball cap behind. It means that the men that accost her on the street can't see her eyes.
She's scared one day that Lydecker will be one of those men, and he'll see her eyes and take her back to Manticore. Without Zack or Max or Eva. That thought makes her cold and then she starts to work out how long since the day Zack found her. Eight months and seven days. That makes her feel colder. Maybe Zack's dead too. Jondy doesn't like to think that she's the only one left. That makes her cry.
But she's not the only one, is she. There's more of them out there, Zack said so. But she doesn't know who and she doesn't know where, which makes it worse. Because she's not alone, but she is.
It's getting colder up here and Jondy knows she should go inside, to the apartment Zack gave her, otherwise the seizures will start. She's almost run out of money, and she can't be milk or tryptophan anymore.
He's been waiting awhile. Almost an hour, which is a lot of time to Zack. It took him an hour to leave Tinga to get to Brin and move her to where Zane was before Lydecker got to Brin.
The door swings open and she's there, before him. And Zack isn't surprised very often; on the contrary, Zack doesn't like surprises. But Jondy surprises him, and this is the first surprise he's ever warmed to.
Her hair is long now, shoulder length. And she's wearing a skirt - something old and once blue, that falls to her ankles - and an old knit sweater. And the baseball cap is on backwards, like the day he found her.
She still looks fragile and delicate.
"Zack." She's troubled by something and Zack wants to reach out and ask her what's wrong, and if he can help. But he doesn't know how. He's sixteen and she's twelve and the only thing they have in common now is fear. Fear instead of live ordinance drills, or Escape and Evade.
"Jondy."
She stands against the door, her hands behind her back, watching him carefully. "Why are you here?"
"I came to make sure you're okay," Zack replied, taking a step towards her.
"You left me alone in a motel room, Zack. You didn't even tell me you were leaving," Jondy replied, her voice quivering a little. She doesn't tell him she waited four days in that motel room, hoping maybe he'd come back.
"Jondy," Zack says, tiredly. He's had this conversation with all of them so far.
She ducks her head, almost in submission. "How long are you staying?" She doesn't look at him.
"I'll leave tomorrow night," Zack replies, almost like a peace offering. Jondy looks up at him, hope lighting her eyes. Zack hates the way she looks at him, like he's her saviour, her everything… hell, maybe even her older brother.
"Did you… have you found Max?" Jondy blurts out as Zack takes off his leather jacket and hangs it over a chair. "Is she okay? Does she hate me?"
Her eyes are full of hope and for just a second, Zack wants to hold her and protect her and kill anyone who tries to cause her pain. But he reminds himself Jondy doesn't need protection. She is meant to be someone else's protection…
"Jondy…" Zack begins and her face falls. "I can't tell you who got out. It's a safety risk."
Jondy nods. Zack hates how meek and silent New York has made her and wants to take her to Krit and Syl and make her laugh and smile.
"I haven't got any money left," Jondy says clearly as Zack goes to the kitchen.
Zack knows. Before she got back, he checked. She has a gun under her pillow, with the safety on. She's run out of tryptophan and milk, and she's reading far too many trashy romance novels to fill in her day. The television is tuned to reruns of sitcoms and the radio to breezy pop music that makes Zack doesn't understand. There's no food or drink, and he wonders how long it's been since Jondy had some tryptophan. Or since she had something to eat.
"I'll go out and get something after I have a shower," Zack replies. "There's something for you in my jacket." A look flits across Jondy's face, and Zack knows that look; it's a look that's been on each of his siblings' faces - his jacket is not safe with the others. To them, it's a nice piece of clothing that will fund their next whim…
Jondy nods. And reaches for the jacket. It's worn to the perfect stage and Jondy wonders what Zack would do to her if she tried to sell it on the street.
Her hands meet something smooth and almost like paper. A thick wad of money, tied with a ribbon. Rent, food and tryptophan money. Jondy pulls the ribbon off the money, looking at Zack, surprised. He's not one for sentimental things like ribbons.
"From Tinga," Zack replied simply. "Don't you touch my jacket." He vanishes into the bathroom.
Tinga. A ribbon from Tinga. Jondy perches on the couch and strokes the ribbon. So smooth and pale blue. She wonders if Tinga intended it for her or maybe for Brin. Maybe Tinga meant for Zack to give it to Brin but Brin didn't make it, so Zack gave it to Jondy…
Doesn't matter, really. Jondy goes into her bedroom and puts the money, with the ribbon tied around it, in her bathrobe pocket. Tinga's out and she's okay.
And Zack told her that.
Zack watches Jondy read later on that night and he has remind himself that he has to leave her behind again and that she'll be okay. She's just like the others.