Unrequited

by Jaded (opheliadrowning@hotmail.com)

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: That '70s Show does not belong to me, and what I do here is for non-profit pleasure. Summary: A day after making their decision to mutually end the fling, Jackie and Hyde run into one another.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
---"The Walrus and the Carpenter" by Lewis Carroll

"There's no use trying," she said: "one can't believe impossible things."
-"Through the Looking-Glass" by Lewis Carroll

Chapter Three: Of Cabbages, Kings, and Impossible Things

Hyde was fidgeting. The Price Is Right blared on the television screen and he could see Bob Barker through the little V-shaped window his feet made while propped up on the table. He saw an old lady run up from contestant's row. Hyde fidgeted again. Her old-lady boobs bobbed up and down, and he saw her give Bob a sloppy kiss on the cheek. It made him remember why he had stopped watching the show in the first place this summer, and those thoughts led him to think about what he had done instead as an alternative. And about who he had spent most of the summer with, passing the long hours together. He turned around, checked the back door to the basement once again, and seeing nobody entering, turned back to the television, his shoulders sagging with disappointment. He grumbled to himself.
It was stupid. He didn't know why he kept looking, kept waiting. He was pissing himself off. He didn't even know why he was thinking about her. It was Jackie Freakin' Burkhart, for crying out loud. She had no right or reason to be in his thoughts, making him all stupid.
Hyde ran a hand through his hair and made himself get off the couch. He walked around the table and headed for the freezer to get a popsicle. He unwrapped it quickly and took a bite from the top that made his teeth hurt, but it did little to change the direction of his thoughts. It only reminded him of her sitting on the couch after Eric and Fez had come down to interrupt their alone time, a popsicle in her mouth, her lips turning red. It made him think of that time they had cornered each other alone out by the el Camino, her mouth hot and cold at the same time and tasting like cherry. He had kissed her senseless until all the flavor was gone and there was nothing left but the taste of his mouth in hers, and hers in his. Afterwards she had collapsed with dizziness into his arms, her eyes bright and dazed and beautiful. She had wrapped her arms around his chest, sighed happily and called him Steven, and had pressed her soft face against the scruff of his beard. That had been a good time, but that was over now too. Since yesterday to be exact. He had seen the way she had looked at Kelso, and how Kelso had looked at her. Hyde made a face and felt himself hold back a snarl. Jackie and Kelso, he thought bitterly. What a joke. The joke that'll never end.
He walked over to the trash can and threw the unfinished popsicle away. Then Hyde sat down on his chair and put his face in his hands. He was reaching the boiling point. He needed to get laid, and bad. Spending all summer fooling around with just Jackie had thrown off his normal game plan: Meet a bunch of hot chicks, get some action, and then go home. That was the way to go. But it was hard to conform to that kind of schedule when the girl kept coming to him, there every morning at 10 a.m., ready for some clandestine making-out. Hot, available Jackie. Except that she hadn't come today. Not that he had expected it or anything, but the possibility had been there.
He definitely needed to get out of the house and out of the basement. Summer was ebbing away. He'd have to start school soon, and what that meant was that there would be fewer chicks out there ready and willing. The school year seemed to have the unfortunate side-effect of making girls want to have relationships, and Steven Hyde was no relationship man. Of all the girls he had know, the thing with Jackie had been the one that probably had lasted the longest.
He made the decision then to head out. Forman was back and so was Donna, but they were just spending time with one another, probably being moony and lovely-dovey with one another. He definitely didn't want to hang around for that. Kelso was back too, but right now Kelso wasn't topping his list of people he wanted to see. Fez? Hyde didn't know where Fez was. Probably off buying candy or looking for whores. Or maybe getting a drivers license. He had been chattering something about the DMV a few days ago, but Hyde had been too distracted by the slit in Jackie's skirt that shown just the barest hint of thigh to actually listen.
That's it, he thought, shaking himself out of his own reverie. Hyde ran to his room and grabbed the keys to the el Camino and headed outside. He was going to head to the Hub. There'd be tons of chicks there. Hot chicks. Maybe some blondes. He was in the mood for blondes today. Today was not going to be a loss.
He got in his car and sat for a moment. He was getting way too worked up about this. He let out a long breath. "Zen," he repeated to himself a few times. "Remember Zen." Hyde adjusted his mirrors, checked his lights. He found himself waiting for another ten minutes though, but grew sick of it and started the car and drove off, a little distracted and a little perturbed.

***

Jackie swept into the Hub, made sure her face was set in there perfect indifferent, haughty smile that she used so many times during the school year, and searched around for someone she knew. She craned her neck, hoping that she didn't look too desperate, and finally spotted Shelley, one of her Varsity Cheerleading teammates, over by the pinball machine. Shelley was by some random guy that Jackie had seen around school but had never bothered to talk to. She ignored him and gave a little wave and began to walk over, making sure to go slowly so everyone in the room could see and admire her. There seemed to be a few more eyes on her than usual, and it made her feel uncomfortable.
"Jackie!" Shelley turned around and gave Jackie a thin smile. Shelley then opened up her arms to hug her cheerleading captain, giving Jackie a gentle pat on the back that served as the closest substitute to regard or affection. Shelley flipped a feathery batch of blonde hair over shoulder and gave another smile. "It's been ages! I've hardly seen you this summer."
"I've been keeping busy."
Shelley seemed skeptical. "I thought that you'd make more time for your friends this summer, what with you and Michael Kelso breaking-up, but I guess I thought wrong."
"Well that wouldn't be the first time," Jackie muttered underneath her breath.
Shelley continued. "Maybe we're just not good enough for you anymore, Jackie. Is that it?"
Jackie thought that this little speech was more than a little rich for a mere underclassman, but she held her tongue.
"Or maybe you've already found someone new." Shelley's eyes lit up. "Jackie, have you found someone new already? Did you already get a new boyfriend? You have to tell me! I've heard that some of the football players were thinking about asking you out this summer.but that they couldn't ever find you to ask. Did something happen?"
Jackie felt her chest tighten a little, and she swore her heart fluttered.
"No," she managed, her head suddenly swimming with a million thoughts and emotions. "Nothing like that."
"Oh," Shelley said, disappointment written across her face. "You wouldn't mind then if one of them maybe asked me out?"
"Hey!" The random boy ripped his attention away from the pinball game long enough to look indignant. Shelley shushed him as though he were a Pekinese, and he went back to his game.
Jackie sighed. No wonder she had stopped hanging out with her "school" friends except for at school. They were all so flaky, so shallow. None of them were as nice and caring as Donna, as funny as Fez, or as smart and deep as Steven.
Jackie felt a blush rise to her cheeks and checked it quickly before looking at Shelley. She wondered how noticeable it had been. Seeing the expression on Shelley's face though, Jackie realized she was in the clear. Shelley was still waiting for a response about dating football players.
"You go ahead, Shell," she said. "If you want even, if one of them asks me out, I'll send them your direction."
"Really?" Shelley said, her face brightening. Hopeless, Jackie thought.
"Yes, I really will."
Shelley, apparently happy with where the conversation had gone, continued. "Some of the girls from the squad are coming here soon. We were thinking about going to the salon and making fun of all the ugly people who think that some make-up and nail care will make them pretty like us. Do you wanna come?"
Jackie really didn't, but she knew that she didn't have very many options. Donna was with Eric, she didn't want to see Michael, not just yet, and Steven didn't want to see her. It was Shelley and the rest of the cheerleaders or it was no one, and today Jackie didn't feel like being alone. She had had enough of that feeling lately.
Jackie was about to say "yes" when she heard someone enter the Hub. She turned around, sure it was some of the other girls Shelley had been talking about. She held off her answer for a moment. She wanted to see who else was coming before she committed herself. Mocking could be fun- hell, she enjoyed burning Eric whenever she had the chance-but calling someone "ugly" and "stupid" for an hour got old. If some of the more "clever" girls showed up, she'd say yes, but if they didn't, well, Jackie supposed, maybe she'd just go shopping by herself.
But there were no cheerleaders, no decision about going to the beauty salon or not.
He entered by himself, looking around, a bored, displeased look on his face. He pulled his sunglasses off for a moment and rubbed the bridge of his nose, his blue eyes blinking to adjust to the light inside.
Her heart was racing, and for once she didn't tell it to stop. Jackie couldn't help but stare. Her thoughts drifted back to the day before once more, to the look on his face when she had pinned him against the wall, the feel of his chest underneath her hands, the skin still wet from his shower. A rush of desire swept through her, and Jackie felt her knees go weak. She wobbled and reached out and touched the wall to steady herself.
Then he saw her, his glasses still in hand. His expression changed from disenchanted to disbelieving. His jaw slackened slightly, his mouth open just the slightest, and his brow was furrowed. She wanted to be able to read his eyes, but he was too far away. But she knew that he was looking at her and her alone.
Jackie wanted to go to him. She felt her body telling her to get a move on, but she was frozen in place. A million thoughts fluttered through her mind. Hadn't they really ended the fling less than twenty-four hours ago? What about Michael? Did he want her even coming near him? Was it fate that they had both come here at the same time. Her mouth went dry. She felt faint.
She saw him move. He took a step forward, then stalled again. A group of kids walked in front of him and she couldn't see him anymore. Irritated as she was by that, it gave Jackie a chance to compose herself. She took a deep, ragged breath, and closed her eyes for a moment. They couldn't just stand across the room from one another all day long staring. Steeling herself, she gathered up her courage and marched over to him, hearing Shelley squeak in surprise behind her.
Jackie side-stepped a table and a couple of chairs and was in front of him within seconds. He looked startled when he realized who was in front of him.
"Steven," she said evenly, then stopped, realizing that she didn't know what to say after that.
Apparently he didn't either. He licked his lips, tried to mouth some words, but nothing came out.
Well this was awkward, Jackie thought. Maybe that was why they had worked best making-out all summer long, not talking. Maybe there really hadn't been all that much to say. After all, they had spent most of their acquaintance being mean to one another, hating each other's existence, or so it had seemed.
Then she felt his fingers brush up against her hand and none of that seemed to matter. It was the barest of touches, feather-light. She felt like liquid, her body filling with a warm rush of heat. How did he do that, she wondered faintly. Just a touch, a look? Why, of all the people in Point Place-in the world-did Steven Hyde, someone who was totally wrong for her, have such an effect? It made no sense, absolutely no sense. If someone had asked her years ago if she would've ever considered Steven Hyde as anything besides a dirty poor person, she would've said that she'd sooner believe that pigs could fly. She didn't know how she felt anymore. This summer had changed so much.
"Hey," he finally said, his voice low and raspy.
Jackie felt herself give him a silly grin. She couldn't help herself. She was struck by an urge to grab him and throw him on the nearest flat surface and do all sorts of things that she had wanted to do the day before, but instead blurted out, "Will you go to the mall with me, Steven?"
"What?"
What, indeed. Jackie felt lost. What was she doing? Three minutes go she was missing him. Two minutes ago she had written off those feelings as confusion. This summer they had been restless and had found refuge from boredom in each other's arms, but then they had made the decision, as adults, to end it. Just a minute ago she had wanted to finish what they hadn't been able to do the day before. And now she wanted to go with him to the mall with her. Did she want them to be friends? Or had yesterday been a big lie she had told herself, a gigantic mistake? Her heart told her one thing, her head told her another. She didn't know which to trust. All she knew now was that she wouldn't mind spending some time with him. That being with Steven Hyde was better than being alone.
"The mall. There's a sale I wanted to go to. Do you want to come?"
He made a strangled noise. "Jackie? Me. You. At the mall. In what universe does this sound like a possibility?"
Her face fell. "You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. Just, just forget it." She turned to walk away. What had she been thinking? That there was something between them? Talk about impossibilities, she thought. He'd always been like that-lay 'em and leave 'em, or something similar-and he probably would always be like that.
"No-Jackie-wait!" He sounded exasperated, and she almost didn't turn around. "I'm sor-I'll go to the stupid mall with you if you want some company." He sighed. "It's not like I have anything else to do."
She turned and gave him a look.
"I mean to say, dammit, Jackie. Look. I've gone to the mall with you before, okay? I'll do it again. I'll live."
She was too surprised that he remembered that time that any bad feelings she had faded away. He'd made her feel better. She had bought him boots.
"Okay then," she said. "You drive?"
He cocked his head and chuckled. "Yeah, yeah. I'll drive. Now hurry up."

***
Hyde gripped the wheel with both hands, his knuckles turning white. He steered the car into the parking lot of the mall, trying not to look to the girl on his right, asking himself over and over again what the hell he was doing.
He had gone to the Hub to find a girl to distract him only to find, and then leave, with the person he had been trying to forget. Now he was going to the mall with her. To the mall! There was only one explanation for this: The government had put some sort of chemical in Jackie's lip gloss that had seeped into his skin and was making him behave irrationally. That had to be it.
They entered a department store first. Hyde secretly hoped that she was going to go lingerie shopping, maybe model a couple of items for him and ask his opinion, but she went straight to a rack of summer dresses instead. He leaned against a wall and watched her silently. He never understood how girls got so excited about shopping. They picked a million things to try on. He preferred it when girls took things off. He smirked.
Jackie then turned and looked at him, saw him smile. She smiled back. Hyde cleared his throat and nodded at her slightly. She returned to perusing the dresses. He pulled at the collar of his Led Zeppelin T-shirt. These stores always got so stuffy, he thought.
"I'm going to go try these on now, Steven," she called, waving a hand at him, her other arm loaded up with clothes. She headed towards the dressing room, and he found himself gravitating towards the same area. Jackie walked in, but he waited just outside. He saw her disappear around the corner.
Hyde tried to gauge how wise it was for him to be spending time with Jackie. Spending time alone together, to be precise. True, he thought Jackie with Kelso was a gigantic joke, but what would they be? Jackie Burkhart and Steven Hyde? Surreal. That's what it was. Anyway, if Kelso found out . . . But what did he care if Kelso found out? Kelso and Jackie had broken up, or were as good as broken up. What did it matter anyway? Hyde shook his head, disgusted at himself again. Why should he care?
A door clicked behind him and Hyde turned around. Jackie emerged from the dressing room wearing a cornflower blue sun dress. She spun around in it, examining herself in the mirror. Hyde felt his breath catch in his throat.
"Wow, you look gorgeous." And she did.
She smiled prettily at him and gave him an odd look. "Thank you, Steven."
She headed back to the dressing room, and when he thought she was out of earshot, Hyde groaned. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea, going to the mall with Jackie.
"Steven?"
Slowly, Hyde walked into the dressing area.
"Jackie?"
"My zipper's stuck."
Dammit, he thought.
"I need some help," she said. "Could you give me a hand?"
"Uh. Okay." Wisdom went flying out of the window. Hyde headed towards the door where her voice was coming from. He could see her bare feet peeking from underneath the white, wooden door. There were pools of clothes gathered on the off-white carpeting from where she had stepped out of discarded outfits. This is going to be hell, he thought.
Jackie opened the door slightly and he waited for her to emerge, but she never did.
"You don't expect me to strip naked out there, do you?" she cried indignantly.
Stripped naked. Oh God.
Hyde stepped inside warily. Any other girl, he thought feverishly, this would be a fantasy if it were any other girl, but it was Jackie. They weren't supposed to be doing stuff like this anymore. Not after yesterday.

His self control lasted about fifteen seconds. Hers, maybe twenty. Her back was to him, and he could see that the straps to her dress had fallen off her shoulders leaving little to the imagination. The zipper was halfway down her back, the open top revealing more bare skin. The moment she looked over her shoulder to see him the battle was already over.
They both rushed for each other at the same time. She curled her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her waist, his wrists brushing against the soft fabric of the dress. He lifted her off his feet and found her lips immediately. They were just as he had remembered them.
He staggered backwards in the small dressing room and the back of his legs knocked against a small padded stool.
"Jackie," he mumbled, kissing her deeper and harder this time. She responded by running her tongue across his teeth.
Hyde fell back into his seat, shifting so he could sit there comfortably. Jackie broke away for a second, stood up, and giving him a sultry smile, proceeded to make herself more comfortable. She lifted one leg and placed it over his left leg. Then she lifted the other one and placed it over his right. She took his face in her hand and flicked her tongue over his lips before kissing him again.
It surprised him, but then Hyde realized that Jackie had been surprising him all summer. It was one of those things about her that he really liked.
The way she was straddling him now made it easy for him to do what he did next. Slowly, he let his hands slide up her legs and underneath her skirt. If she told him to stop, she'd stop, but if she didn't . . . her thighs were firm and muscular, but they were also strangely soft. They felt good beneath his hands. Jackie arched slightly, throwing her head back and letting out a slight gasp.
"Steven," she said, her voice gentler than he had expected. She gave him another look, a strange, melancholy smile. It threw him off for a moment. He had never seen her look that way before, at least not when she was looking at him.
There was a sudden bang on the door. They both froze.
"Miss," came a voice, "is everything okay in there?"
Okay? Hyde thought, okay? No, everything was not okay, not now at least.
"Yes!" Jackie managed, her voice more shrill than was normal.
"Is there anything I can get you?"
Jackie looked at him. "Nope, I'm good," she said, her eyes wide and horrified.
"You know what, how about I get you these brand new jeans we just got in? They're all the rage. Here, they're just in the display behind the register. I'll be back in a jiff!"
Before Jackie could respond the salesgirl was gone. They looked at each other, then broke apart, Jackie scrambling to her feet, Hyde getting up from his seat as fast as possible. He stumbled on the clothes on the floor but managed to stay standing.
"Go, go!" she hissed at him, waving him away with her hands.
Hyde didn't need to hear anymore. He shot out of the dressing room, and looking wildly around to see if anyone else was lurking about, tried to calmly as possible get himself somewhere inconspicuous.
The salesgirl returned a minute later, raised an eyebrow at him and his sudden appearance, then went into the dressing area with an armload of denim jeans without giving him another thought. Hyde slumped against the wall. This had definitely been a bad idea.
Jackie emerged five minutes later, her hair mussed up and looking pissed. Her expression softened when she saw him though.
"I decided I wasn't going to buy anything," she said with a shrug of her shoulders "The help is way too pushy."
Hyde got back up to his feet and smirked at her. "No argument from me. Anyway, so can we go now?"
Jackie bit her lip.
"What? Are you serious? After that you still want to go shopping?" He was in pain now. She had to know that. He raised an eyebrow and gave her a significant look, but Jackie didn't seem to get his meaning.
"Just a little longer?" she said, her mouth pouty. "Please?"
He made a sound of exasperation, and she took his lack of "no" as encouragement. Jackie grabbed his hand and pulled him out toward the aisle. She dragged him out of the store and into the heart of the mall. "I just wanted to check out these shoes . . ."
Half-way to Morgan's House of Shoes, Hyde heard a familiar voice ring through the noise of the crowd.
"Hyde! Jackie!" The hair on his forearms raised. It was Kelso.
He watched Jackie spin around, then like a hot potato, she felt him drop his hand that she had just a second ago, been holding on to so tightly.
He frowned, suddenly angry.
"Hey guys!" Fez was with Kelso too. "What are you two doing at the mall?"
"Yeah, Hyde," Kelso said, grinning stupidly, "what are you doing at the mall?"
"What are you doing at the mall?" Hyde shot back.
"Hey, I asked first!"
"So what. I asked second, and second is the best."
"He does have a point, Kelso," Fez said.
"Oh, okay, fine. I wanted to check out some of the new records and Fez here wanted to get some new pants."
"Yes," Fez said angrily, "but as you see, I have no pants."
"What's wrong with you?" Jackie asked.
"Let's just say that there was me, this bastard named Fenton, and a pair of pants that made my ass look like a dream."
"Fez--"
"Yeah, okay," Hyde said. He tried for a moment to catch Jackie's eye, but she was looking at Kelso instead. Hyde pursed his lips together into a thin smile. "Well I'm going to go now."
Jackie's head shot up. "What?"

"Kelso, Fez, you guys going to be hanging around here for a while yet?"
"Yeah. I still gotta go to the record store."
"Okay then. You can take Jackie home with you."
Hyde turned around and started to go.
"Steven!" Jackie's voice rang in his head, but he chose to ignore it. He threw up a hand into the air in farewell.
"Steven!" she cried again, her tone more pleading this time, but Hyde just kept on walking.

[end chapter three]