By Terra
A song parody on the song "Everything You Know Is Wrong" by "Weird Al" YankovicHarry: I was journeying through the underground of school
After a guy after the Philosopher's Stone
When finally I reached a man with his back toward me
Being so sure, I was in for a good shock
I guessed, "Is it my evil Potions Professor?"
"Is it the head of Slytherin?"
"Could it be the one we hate so much, the one called Snape?"
I probably would have kept on guessing
But about that time I looked into the glass
And as I'm staring, gasping "Huh?" in my surprise
Finally I recognize the face of my weird Defense teacher
Who takes off his smelly turban and tells me
The Trio: Everything you guessed is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everyone you thought was just so
Suspicious doesn't factor
Everything you guessed is wrong
Just forget the clues and just read on
All you need to understand is
Everything you guessed is wrong
Harry: I was searching for some clues in this old diary
And then I accidentally got sucked into an old memory
And soon I was escorted by some prefect from the past
Who showed me the Chamber creature
Being raised by my very large friend
That was the burden of truth
And said I should go after him
In a way that's most irritating
The Creature took Ginny down to a
Place so horrible to which no one would want to go
And so I had to go deep down there to get her back
So I could get her to help on time
Just then the floating faded spirit form of
Old Tom Riddle started yelling
The Trio: Everything you guessed is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everyone you thought was just so
Suspicious doesn't factor
Everything you guessed is wrong
Just forget the clues and just read on
All you need to understand is
Everything you guessed is wrong
Harry: We were just heading inside after Buckbeak's execution
When I saw the big black Grim again
And, well, to make a long story short
It took my friend Ron and his rat
So now we're going down the Whomping Willow
Chasing Ron's snatcher
Who is really the mass murderer
Who killed all those people and then some
He tells me that they've got the wrong man
To make things grosser, Scabbers is a human
So the real murderer was right by me in the dorm
In Ron's bed this whole time
And suddenly he started screaming
The Trio: Everything you guessed is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everyone you used to think was so suspicious
Still doesn't really factor in
Because the simple fact remains that
Everything you guessed is wrong
Just forget the clues and just read on
All you need to understand is
Harry: Everything you guessed is
Ron&Hermione: Everything you guessed is
The Trio: Everything you guessed is wrong