A/N: Here it is! The last chapter! Ahh...it feels so good to be done! Thanks for sticking with me, everyone, and I'm so glad that you liked the previous chapter. I wasn't sure if you would like the chapter with so many flashbacks, but I guess you liked it anyway. Hope you enjoy the ending!
This chapter was inspired by Coldplay's "The Scientist," lyrics to which can be found at the end.
Circles
Previously on Alias*:
"This is about Sydney, isn't it." There is no questioning tone in her voice, just a statement of fact that we both know to be true.
Without hesitation, I answer. "Yes."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
**Vaughn POV**
Sometime after *"I can't believe you're going to throw away the life we've built together, Michael,"* and, *"I don't expect you to understand, Lauren,"* she got up hastily to leave the restaurant, but not before I grabbed her hand one last time and whispered, *"I'm sorry,"* letting any remaining guilt for my actions flow out of me with the words. She stroked my hand with her thumb before replying, *"Me, too. Goodbye, Michael."* Though Lauren obviously didn't want to give up on a relationship in which she invested so much, she apparently must have felt the love we shared melting away before this night. Maybe she knew that our love was tainted with my undying memories of Sydney. Maybe she didn't really love me as much as I thought.
*'Or maybe she loves you more than you know, letting you go to who makes you truly happy,'* my inner self interjects, causing my eyes to pop open and realize that I'm on a plane bound for D.C., Sydney, and a new try at an old beginning. I'm on *another* plane, where I have, of late, often found myself with Sydney. The conversations we have shared in a place like this have varied - some were piercing and all too real, others were light and friendly, causing me to momentarily forget that we have jumped two years from where we once were...
* * * *
"You know, peach isn't really in this season." Her eyes were heavily shadowed for her new alias, perhaps to help present her as the dark, ruthless mercenary she was for that mission, but I could only see the sparks of light in them that had been so prevalent during our time of bliss together.
Eager to engage in playful banter that I had heavily missed, I responded, "I heard peach was the new green," my serious tone going only so far as the soft smile on my face.
Always one to defend her position, she countered, her smile growing, "I thought beige was the new green."
"No, beige is the new peach," I answer definitively, ever-ready to set her on the straight path, no matter how trivial the topic or how right she believed herself to be.
"Okay..." she conceded with a grin, as our brief return to 'SydneyandVaughn' ended back at 'Sydney and Vaughn.'
* * * *
The plane jolts me from my thoughts as it lands, and I am hit with the realization that I am actually *here*, about to find Sydney and tell her what I've finally figured out. My heart starts pounding hard in my chest at the mere thought, and a feeling runs through me that seems similar to nervousness or excitement, but is so unlike either that it's impossible to describe.
I hail a taxi once I'm outside, and I pull out the slip of paper that has Sydney's address on it. I frantically tell the driver her address and hold the piece of paper in a vice grip, as if afraid that Sydney herself would fall from my grasp if I lose it. After nearly having to threaten Weiss, then giving him a quick version of what happened with Lauren, and *then* having to reassure him that I would help defend him if Sydney actually went through with her vow to kick his ass for not convincing me to not follow her, he finally relinquished her address to me. I easily could have obtained it in numerous ways from work, but I guess a part of me needed to admit to someone - and who better than my best friend - that I really knew what I wanted and that I was not going to let anything stand in my way. And besides, I had to tell Weiss that I had figured out the answer to my own question...
* * * *
"Hey, Weiss," I called. A sudden bit of clarity had struck me again, causing me to halt my departure in its tracks and turn back around to face him.
"Yeah?" He seemed uncharacteristically defeated, his shoulders slightly slumped and his voice quiet, but his knowing gaze told me that he understood my need to do whatever I had to and that he was happy for me.
"You remember when I asked you if it was possible to be in love with two people at the same time?"
"Yeah..." he responded, a devilish grin steadily forming on his face at the memory of what his answer to that question was.
"I really think I was...but now I know that I'm not." A smile pulled at the corners of my mouth, and I could feel myself start to fall into a daze as thoughts of Sydney flashed constantly in my mind. Of course, being in the presence of Eric Weiss did not allow me to remain in that daze for very long...
"Great!" he exclaimed. "That settles it. You can have Sporty and I'll take Posh. You know, Posh really is the one for me. I don't know how I could have deluded myself for so long into thinking that I could have the same feelings for Sporty..."
"Right," I interrupted. "Thanks, Eric," I said quickly, rolling my eyes as I turned to leave.
"Hey, Mike?"
"Yeah?" I asked warily.
"Don't lose her this time." He paused looking down as he shuffled his feet, but only continued all too soon, "Because if you do, I can't guarantee that I'll feel sorry for your spoiled ass again."
"I'll keep that in mind."
* * * *
So wrapped up in my thoughts, it takes me a while to realize that we haven't moved from our position in front of a green traffic signal for several minutes, even though I have been staring out of the window the entire time. I finally actually look out of the window to see that it has started to rain, and that there is some kind of accident in front of us, which answers the question that I was about to propose to the driver about why the hell we weren't moving. Unable to sit and wait any longer, I ask him how much further it is to Sydney's place. When he gruffly answers that it's down the street a few blocks, I hurridly throw him some money and get out of the car.
The rain is falling lightly, but it is enough to soak through my clothes as I push my way through the sidewalk crowded with umbrellas, trying desperately to get around the people who are blocking my path. Any semblance of patience in me has disappeared as I break into a run until I reach her appartment building. Only then do I stop and look up and really feel the cool rain on my heated body for the first time since I raced from the cab. I pull my father's watch from my pocket and run my thumb over its smooth face as I take a deep, calming breath and enter the building.
~ ~ ~ ~
**Syd POV**
Still surrounded by boxes, even though I moved here a week ago, I sit on my couch in front of the fire, built to ward off the cold that I could feel creeping into me on this rainy night. In spite of the heat it provides and the blanket that I have wrapped around me, I shiver. But the feeling that runs through me does not seem like a feeling of cold. Rather, it's more like that tingling that I felt when I had that talk with Dr. Barnett...
* * * *
"I don't think he would ever get divorced because of me. I mean, I think it would be because he and Lauren don't belong together." It felt really good being able to say these things to another person - things that I would never be able to tell Vaughn, even if it had to be to a shrink.
"Does he belong with you?" Barnett led me. I knew that she was only doing her job, trying to get me to open up and be honest about my feelings, but I don't think she could have ever been prepared for just how honest my response was.
"Have you ever felt that someone's your soulmate?" I answered her question with a question, but the rush that flowed through me with the words let me know that I did my feelings justice.
* * * *
I sigh and close my eyes as I feel that same rush flow through me again, and I start to doze as I wonder if my future will ever be with Vaughn.
A knock at my door rouses me from my state of near-sleep, and I silently curse myself for even thinking that it could be *him*. Even though I tried to make it clear that I don't want him chasing after me while he's in love with Lauren, a part of me can't help but hope that he has figured out where his heart really belongs.
Cautiously, I open the door, and the sight that greets me is one that I have expected, but at the same time, I wonder if I am simply dreaming.
"Vaughn? What--"
Before I can say anything else, he closes the distance between us and kisses me. His arms wrap around me, pulling me closer to him, his rain-soaked clothes soaking my own. I am shocked at his impulsiveness, but realize through the passion that emanates from his lips to mine that this act of love has been desired to be performed for quite some time. As he deepens the kiss, my hands find their way to his wet hair, tangling in his dripping locks. The rain tastes sweet on his lips, and I drink it in thirstily as he continues to kiss me hungrily, as if he were a starving man presented with a feast.
Finally, I pull back, needing to be absolutely sure of his intentions. His mouth is slightly parted, lower lip jutting out nearly irresistably for more, but I find a way to hold myself back, if only for a few more moments.
"Vaughn..." I pant.
"Syd, I *know*," he breathes.
"You know..." I lead him.
"I love you, Sydney. Only you."
"I love you too, Vaughn. Always you."
There is no way that I can resist him any longer; it's been so long since I have had him, all of him, in my arms. I melt into him, nestling my face into his neck, placing kisses against his damp skin, murmuring, "How did you know?"
He answers smiling, voice deep, "I couldn't escape the thought of you, and I didn't really want to try anymore." He pauses. "And this helped," he says holding up a watch.
"Your father's watch?" I ask, the conversation in the warehouse coming back to me.
"Mmhm," he replies, placing a kiss on my forehead.
"It's working again?" I wonder out loud, surprised.
"Yeah," he whispers against my skin, trailing his lips from my forehead down my cheek. "There was a misunderstanding...well, more of a non-understanding, and it was fixed." He shrugs, but I can tell that he is trying to hold some anger in check.
"We can break it again, if you want," I say with a grin, and his eyes gleam in response.
"Nah. Let it live its life again. It'll stop when it knows that it's time," he answers breathily before capturing my lips once more.
We are still standing just in front of the entryway, and he manages to push the door closed firmly with his foot as we take each other into an endless embrace, hearing neither the door shut softly, nor the gentle patter of the rain that continues throughout the night.
~ ~
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh I rush to the start
Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
~Coldplay, "The Scientist"
*Heehee, I've always wanted to say that!
This chapter was inspired by Coldplay's "The Scientist," lyrics to which can be found at the end.
Circles
Previously on Alias*:
"This is about Sydney, isn't it." There is no questioning tone in her voice, just a statement of fact that we both know to be true.
Without hesitation, I answer. "Yes."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
**Vaughn POV**
Sometime after *"I can't believe you're going to throw away the life we've built together, Michael,"* and, *"I don't expect you to understand, Lauren,"* she got up hastily to leave the restaurant, but not before I grabbed her hand one last time and whispered, *"I'm sorry,"* letting any remaining guilt for my actions flow out of me with the words. She stroked my hand with her thumb before replying, *"Me, too. Goodbye, Michael."* Though Lauren obviously didn't want to give up on a relationship in which she invested so much, she apparently must have felt the love we shared melting away before this night. Maybe she knew that our love was tainted with my undying memories of Sydney. Maybe she didn't really love me as much as I thought.
*'Or maybe she loves you more than you know, letting you go to who makes you truly happy,'* my inner self interjects, causing my eyes to pop open and realize that I'm on a plane bound for D.C., Sydney, and a new try at an old beginning. I'm on *another* plane, where I have, of late, often found myself with Sydney. The conversations we have shared in a place like this have varied - some were piercing and all too real, others were light and friendly, causing me to momentarily forget that we have jumped two years from where we once were...
* * * *
"You know, peach isn't really in this season." Her eyes were heavily shadowed for her new alias, perhaps to help present her as the dark, ruthless mercenary she was for that mission, but I could only see the sparks of light in them that had been so prevalent during our time of bliss together.
Eager to engage in playful banter that I had heavily missed, I responded, "I heard peach was the new green," my serious tone going only so far as the soft smile on my face.
Always one to defend her position, she countered, her smile growing, "I thought beige was the new green."
"No, beige is the new peach," I answer definitively, ever-ready to set her on the straight path, no matter how trivial the topic or how right she believed herself to be.
"Okay..." she conceded with a grin, as our brief return to 'SydneyandVaughn' ended back at 'Sydney and Vaughn.'
* * * *
The plane jolts me from my thoughts as it lands, and I am hit with the realization that I am actually *here*, about to find Sydney and tell her what I've finally figured out. My heart starts pounding hard in my chest at the mere thought, and a feeling runs through me that seems similar to nervousness or excitement, but is so unlike either that it's impossible to describe.
I hail a taxi once I'm outside, and I pull out the slip of paper that has Sydney's address on it. I frantically tell the driver her address and hold the piece of paper in a vice grip, as if afraid that Sydney herself would fall from my grasp if I lose it. After nearly having to threaten Weiss, then giving him a quick version of what happened with Lauren, and *then* having to reassure him that I would help defend him if Sydney actually went through with her vow to kick his ass for not convincing me to not follow her, he finally relinquished her address to me. I easily could have obtained it in numerous ways from work, but I guess a part of me needed to admit to someone - and who better than my best friend - that I really knew what I wanted and that I was not going to let anything stand in my way. And besides, I had to tell Weiss that I had figured out the answer to my own question...
* * * *
"Hey, Weiss," I called. A sudden bit of clarity had struck me again, causing me to halt my departure in its tracks and turn back around to face him.
"Yeah?" He seemed uncharacteristically defeated, his shoulders slightly slumped and his voice quiet, but his knowing gaze told me that he understood my need to do whatever I had to and that he was happy for me.
"You remember when I asked you if it was possible to be in love with two people at the same time?"
"Yeah..." he responded, a devilish grin steadily forming on his face at the memory of what his answer to that question was.
"I really think I was...but now I know that I'm not." A smile pulled at the corners of my mouth, and I could feel myself start to fall into a daze as thoughts of Sydney flashed constantly in my mind. Of course, being in the presence of Eric Weiss did not allow me to remain in that daze for very long...
"Great!" he exclaimed. "That settles it. You can have Sporty and I'll take Posh. You know, Posh really is the one for me. I don't know how I could have deluded myself for so long into thinking that I could have the same feelings for Sporty..."
"Right," I interrupted. "Thanks, Eric," I said quickly, rolling my eyes as I turned to leave.
"Hey, Mike?"
"Yeah?" I asked warily.
"Don't lose her this time." He paused looking down as he shuffled his feet, but only continued all too soon, "Because if you do, I can't guarantee that I'll feel sorry for your spoiled ass again."
"I'll keep that in mind."
* * * *
So wrapped up in my thoughts, it takes me a while to realize that we haven't moved from our position in front of a green traffic signal for several minutes, even though I have been staring out of the window the entire time. I finally actually look out of the window to see that it has started to rain, and that there is some kind of accident in front of us, which answers the question that I was about to propose to the driver about why the hell we weren't moving. Unable to sit and wait any longer, I ask him how much further it is to Sydney's place. When he gruffly answers that it's down the street a few blocks, I hurridly throw him some money and get out of the car.
The rain is falling lightly, but it is enough to soak through my clothes as I push my way through the sidewalk crowded with umbrellas, trying desperately to get around the people who are blocking my path. Any semblance of patience in me has disappeared as I break into a run until I reach her appartment building. Only then do I stop and look up and really feel the cool rain on my heated body for the first time since I raced from the cab. I pull my father's watch from my pocket and run my thumb over its smooth face as I take a deep, calming breath and enter the building.
~ ~ ~ ~
**Syd POV**
Still surrounded by boxes, even though I moved here a week ago, I sit on my couch in front of the fire, built to ward off the cold that I could feel creeping into me on this rainy night. In spite of the heat it provides and the blanket that I have wrapped around me, I shiver. But the feeling that runs through me does not seem like a feeling of cold. Rather, it's more like that tingling that I felt when I had that talk with Dr. Barnett...
* * * *
"I don't think he would ever get divorced because of me. I mean, I think it would be because he and Lauren don't belong together." It felt really good being able to say these things to another person - things that I would never be able to tell Vaughn, even if it had to be to a shrink.
"Does he belong with you?" Barnett led me. I knew that she was only doing her job, trying to get me to open up and be honest about my feelings, but I don't think she could have ever been prepared for just how honest my response was.
"Have you ever felt that someone's your soulmate?" I answered her question with a question, but the rush that flowed through me with the words let me know that I did my feelings justice.
* * * *
I sigh and close my eyes as I feel that same rush flow through me again, and I start to doze as I wonder if my future will ever be with Vaughn.
A knock at my door rouses me from my state of near-sleep, and I silently curse myself for even thinking that it could be *him*. Even though I tried to make it clear that I don't want him chasing after me while he's in love with Lauren, a part of me can't help but hope that he has figured out where his heart really belongs.
Cautiously, I open the door, and the sight that greets me is one that I have expected, but at the same time, I wonder if I am simply dreaming.
"Vaughn? What--"
Before I can say anything else, he closes the distance between us and kisses me. His arms wrap around me, pulling me closer to him, his rain-soaked clothes soaking my own. I am shocked at his impulsiveness, but realize through the passion that emanates from his lips to mine that this act of love has been desired to be performed for quite some time. As he deepens the kiss, my hands find their way to his wet hair, tangling in his dripping locks. The rain tastes sweet on his lips, and I drink it in thirstily as he continues to kiss me hungrily, as if he were a starving man presented with a feast.
Finally, I pull back, needing to be absolutely sure of his intentions. His mouth is slightly parted, lower lip jutting out nearly irresistably for more, but I find a way to hold myself back, if only for a few more moments.
"Vaughn..." I pant.
"Syd, I *know*," he breathes.
"You know..." I lead him.
"I love you, Sydney. Only you."
"I love you too, Vaughn. Always you."
There is no way that I can resist him any longer; it's been so long since I have had him, all of him, in my arms. I melt into him, nestling my face into his neck, placing kisses against his damp skin, murmuring, "How did you know?"
He answers smiling, voice deep, "I couldn't escape the thought of you, and I didn't really want to try anymore." He pauses. "And this helped," he says holding up a watch.
"Your father's watch?" I ask, the conversation in the warehouse coming back to me.
"Mmhm," he replies, placing a kiss on my forehead.
"It's working again?" I wonder out loud, surprised.
"Yeah," he whispers against my skin, trailing his lips from my forehead down my cheek. "There was a misunderstanding...well, more of a non-understanding, and it was fixed." He shrugs, but I can tell that he is trying to hold some anger in check.
"We can break it again, if you want," I say with a grin, and his eyes gleam in response.
"Nah. Let it live its life again. It'll stop when it knows that it's time," he answers breathily before capturing my lips once more.
We are still standing just in front of the entryway, and he manages to push the door closed firmly with his foot as we take each other into an endless embrace, hearing neither the door shut softly, nor the gentle patter of the rain that continues throughout the night.
~ ~
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh I rush to the start
Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
~Coldplay, "The Scientist"
*Heehee, I've always wanted to say that!