Hey, it's me. I'm back and I got 6 reviews, which isn't half bad so
I'll go with it. Right now I'm half dead after a long week of school, but
what the hell. I can still see and I promised you an update so you'll get
one by Saturday night/Sunday mourning. That said I do have one comment to
make. These are my rules for the average fanfic reader.
1. Review: if you have an opinion on the fic, review it. Tell him about good and bad things. Tell him improvements he could make, and most importantly, tell him the connections you have made to the fic. These things mean more to an author then any reader could understand. They took the time to write this for you. If it was for them they wouldn't have posted it anyway, so since you get to enjoy reading, give them input.
2. Flame nicely: There is nothing wrong with disliking a fic. When you comment on it though, take the time to word your response in a way that helps the author's writings. This may turn a crappy fic into a kick ass one in time.
3. Multiple reviews: Check in with the author every few chapters. Let him know what changes have happened that you like and dislike.
4. Read the recommendations: For authors such as Vash, Gotenks and I, who recommend other fics, please check them out. We did not post bad fics for you to read. We also did not post them just for our own good. Please look at our advice and use them. Not only are we authors, but we are fellow readers.
I know this may sound big of me, but it's true. Every author wants his work to be looked at and to be critiqued. No author is ever satisfied with there work, even if you think it's perfect. This is why you must give him your input, because many good authors have quit because they felt there work was under appreciated. It is best if you take the minutes it takes to review, compared to the hours it took them to post the fic hat you enjoyed.
Thank you to these 6 reviewers.
Vash: Glad you like this chapter. Overall, I think I finally got what I wanted for this fic in the last chapter. So now all that's left is the wild ride ahead. Also, you are important to Love Hina, your one of the better authors and you tend to be one of the most common reviewers.
Knights: Hey, back again, back again. Glad you like the sword of hope, I actually added it at the last second because I realized there was a big fucking plot hole to fill and this should take care of it. Likely, I would have preferred a cooler sounding weapon.
Kei: Mot/Kei again, ah well. Just hang on for the ride and try to enjoy it. Not making any promises to anyone who reads this about who Keitaro or anyone else is ending up with. That is for me to know and you to find out through my literary abilities. Also, I'm glad for your second review to this story.
Shigure: Don't worry, you'll see more. Thanks for the compliment as well.
Gotenks: Wow, you wrote a long and detailed review that told me a lot of information. Thank you so much. That's exactly what I was looking for. Thanks for all your input and hopefully other people will catch on to your style.
Android: Glad you like it, and I plan to update often in the next few weeks. As for the overall length, it'll probably be 30-40 chapters overall. Which will be somewhere around 100,000 words, maybe nearing 120,000.
Ok, on to the fic, which I actually am getting to you rather quickly.
Chapter 5 - Back to Good
"Flight 202 from Tokyo to Beijing and on to Ulan Bator will be departing shortly. All persons who sit in rows 10 through 27 please check your bags and board the plane now." This voice snapped Keitaro out of his meditation, which was a little weird, considering he was in the middle of an airport.
"That sword really mean something to you, doesn't it Keitaro." Seta said as he watched Keitaro come to with the sword resting in his palms.
"More then I thought it would, the feeling of the ki gives me a connection I haven't felt before, as if this sword was made for me." Keitaro's voice faded as his eyes began to focus on the sword and his mind began to chant the word "Ki" repeatedly inside his head. Growing stronger and causing himself to lose all focus.
Keitaro then felt a hand on his shoulder, he looked up to Seta who was now grabbing his bags and lifting Keitaro to his feet. "Come on now, we need to get going. You can see the sword when we get to Mongolia." Keitaro nodded as he set the sword into his bag and zipped it up. They handed there bags to the flight attendant who checked there bags. Then the two of them walked onto the plane, where there next journey would await them.
************
Naru's eyes slowly opened and took in her current location. She was back inside her room, her Liddo-chan sitting next to her head. 'Kitsune-san must have helped me up here last night; I should thank her for everything she has done for me.' Naru sat up, and felt her back creak as her body adjusted to the rapid movement. She stretched herself out and climbed out of bed.
"That's odd, I feel much better today," she said to no one in particular. She got up and walked out of her room, where she became face to face with a black cat.
"AEIIIIIIIIIII," Naru screamed as she jumped backwards, tripping and falling in the process. She rolled and came to rest on her futon. She looked up at the invader to her home, not sure of what to make of it. Looking at the cat sitting there on the floor, her eyes came to rest on a pair of feet. As her eyes moved upward she saw a young girl with black hair. She had never seen this girl before and was quite peeved that she was in here without asking. Already upset about Keitaro leaving just the day before, she was in no mood to deal with new people.
"What do you think your doing here, this is a private residence and you are far to young to be friends with Kitsune, so why are you inside of this house." The young part was very true; she appeared to be around the age of 18 or 19 while Naru was now 21 and Kitsune had turned 23 just a few months before.
The girl stared at Naru and smirked at her, and the smirk had no hint of friendship behind it. "I should have known it would take a girl like you to chase of my Oni-san." Kanoko just continued to stare at Naru with a piercing glare as she continued. "You just made him leave and forget about this entire house, and now that the rest of them have gone to look for him, you sit here and sulk."
Naru's rage continued to build, and the next comment snapped her already stretched will. "You just toyed with his emotions, and never had any caring for him at all." That did it for Naru; she took two quick steps over to the unsuspecting girl and slapped her across the face with all the strength her fatigued body could muster.
"You have no idea what your talking about, how would you know what's been going on here anyway." The girls head slowly returned to its normal position after being tossed around by Naru's forceful blow. She still had that smirk on her face, as if she knew everything that had, was and is going to happen. It definitely didn't make Naru feel any better. "Maybe I don't Naru, but you'll have to prove it to me before I'll let you off the hook."
The girl walked down the hall, and ended the current argument with one final comment. "By the way, the names Kanoko, and I'm Keitaro's sister and he means more to me then you could ever know." With that she left for the stairway, leaving Naru in her room.
"Great, more shit continues to pile up against me," was all Naru thought as she went back inside her room, and prepared for the day of hell ahead of her.
************
'Sempai, why did you leave the others?' 'Was it really Naru who drove you away, or is it more then that?' 'Maybe I am to blame in this situation as well?' Shinobu kept thinking these thoughts over and over, how could she not though. Her personality had always been very self conscious and her love for Keitaro had left her venerable.
The others thoughts were just as jumbled and betraying of there feelings for him. None of them cared anymore though, they knew that the man that they loved was away from them, and they needed to get him back. They all had the same unspoken omniscient feeling looming over there heads as well.
Even Su had this feeling and she just focused on flying the plane to Tokyo, focused on saving her "brother". This made her become very calm, as if she were building up her energy inside her to whether a coming storm or some other force.
The one who might have been affected the most though, was Motoko, who just stared into space. She held onto her sword as she kept replaying her dream in her mind. How could she possibly deal with something like that if that actually came to be?
Motoko then felt a slight burst of ki registering in her brain, she looked down and saw it was coming right for where they were going, Tokyo International Airport. This burst of ki registered with her again, this time though, it had shifted slightly.
"Something's wrong, I can feel something in disarray down there." Motoko continued to focus on the airport as the other passengers came out of there daze. Shinobu and Mitsumi rushed over next to her and looked down at the airport.
"Nothing appears wrong to me," said Shinobu, with a slight bit of doubt it her voice. Then she saw it, two swirling forms of ki. It was very faint for her, mostly because she had only gotten light practice in reading ki, but she could make it out.
It appeared to her as if there were two pulsing energies, both of them apparently sentient. Both of them also seemed to slowly change form, as if they were trying to match each other. What Shinobu couldn't figure out though was why Motoko was so nervous.
"Motoko, I see it but what is going on that puts you on edge," was all Shinobu could ask. Motoko simply looked at her, a distant and drained look in her eyes.
"Simple, that energy you are sensing is none other then your sempai's, only it has been warped since we last saw him." This was all Motoko said before turning and taking her seat in the plane. She then pushed herself deep into thought, and was oblivious to the world.
Shinobu on the other hand was flipping out to put it lightly. "Sempai, don't change, I just want my sempai to be okay." Shinobu was almost reduced to tears at that thought, and she knelt down to keep herself from fainting.
Mitsumi walked over and sat next to Shinobu, then put her arm over the young women's shoulder. "Don't worry about him, Keitaro always manages to pull out of every situation perfectly fine and keeps us safe as well." This brought up memories for the both of them, and Shinobu lost it. She began to cry into Mitsumi's shoulder, with her tears streaming down her cheeks and Mitsumi's shirt.
Mitsumi just held her as she looked down at the airport they were fast approaching. "Keitaro, please be ok, even I am worried in you at this point." "Something feels far too amiss for this to be another adventure."
They began there decent, all the while hoping they could catch Keitaro in time.
***************
"Keitaro, you all set?" asked Seta as he took his seat next to Keitaro.
"Yeah, I'm ready to get this adventure started." Keitaro didn't sound totally convinced though, and all the while he kept looking out the window. Just then the plane began to taxi out to the runway, and they aligned themselves so they can takeoff. The seatbelt lights flip on as the engines begin to whir.
All the while Keitaro keeps watching out the window as the plane begins to gather speed. The sound of the engines is now deafening as the world whips by. Then, time slows for Keitaro as he notices a small plane landing on the runway next to his. Piloting it is none other then Su.
Upon further examination he sees Motoko, Mitsumi, Sarah, and Shinobu all aboard the plane. Then time accelerates as the plane leaves the ground, leaving his friends long behind him.
"Su, Sarah, Motoko, Mitsumi, Shinobu..." was all Keitaro muttered as he watches them vanish from sight. The entire city begins to shrink as they fly higher into the sky, leaving his past life behind him.
'I'm sorry,' was all he thought as he left them behind 'but I need to do this to restructure my life, or else the Keitaro you know will be gone forever.'
End Chapter 5
Next Chapter: Kryptonite
Now that he was alone, he could examine his sword once more. The feeling pulsed out to him again. The perfect balance between yin and yang, which molded into his very being. He then held the sword before him, and he could see his entire path which lay before him. From his strengths to his weaknesses, to his friends and enemies. Most disturbing of all though, was the bright light which illuminated the path that his dreams followed.
Nick: Hey, how'd you like it?
Kitsune: I didn't have any lines this chapter, how could you do that to me.
Nick: Uh, I told you during contract negotiations that this was a smaller fic for you. Why are you so surprised?
Kitsune: Would have helped if you hadn't gotten me drunk before those so called contract negotiations.
Nick: Eh, well, excuse me.
A/N: Hey out of the story world now, just want to say that this fic has been moving along at a reasonable pace. Not fast by any measure but time has been scarce for me. Just hope that you're enjoying yourselves and that you continue to R and R.
Kanoko: Hey Nick
Nick: Gah, what the fuck are you doing here?
Kanoko: Someone else gave you the idea to include me so they can keep me both inside and outside the story world.
Nick: Yeah, ok, so, why are you here.
Kanoko: Just wanted to make sure I'm ending up with my Oni-chan.
Nick: Uh, about that, you're gonna be much less evil in this to make sure you don't destroy my fic in the process. (Grabs remote)
Kanoko: No stop...
Nick: Too late (flips dial from 7 to 2)
Kanoko: No, I'm OOC now.
Nick: Yep, and now you're my character and you're inside the story until I let you back out.
Enough of this, on to the recommendations
The Kiss That Never Was by Paul T1 This is one of the classics in the R section; I'm sure most of you have read it. If not, do yourself a favor and read it. 4.8/5
To Be a Warrior or a Women by Gotenks01013 This is written by the same Gotenks that read my fic so here's a shout out to you. Your fic is doing well and hope that it continues to chug along. 3.9/5
How Close is It? By Lifelessdummy/Grandmoff
This is a fic from Shoujoai.net that was one of the great ones there, and now we have it. It's the start of a great series and the best shoujoai I have read. It's one of the best pairings as well with Motoko and Shinobu, both being great characters. If you want to know how it goes just pop on over and check out the Love Hina section. 4.6/5
That's all for today, so see you next week or whenever I take the time to update. Should be soon though; want 2 updates before I go to Italy next Wednesday.
1. Review: if you have an opinion on the fic, review it. Tell him about good and bad things. Tell him improvements he could make, and most importantly, tell him the connections you have made to the fic. These things mean more to an author then any reader could understand. They took the time to write this for you. If it was for them they wouldn't have posted it anyway, so since you get to enjoy reading, give them input.
2. Flame nicely: There is nothing wrong with disliking a fic. When you comment on it though, take the time to word your response in a way that helps the author's writings. This may turn a crappy fic into a kick ass one in time.
3. Multiple reviews: Check in with the author every few chapters. Let him know what changes have happened that you like and dislike.
4. Read the recommendations: For authors such as Vash, Gotenks and I, who recommend other fics, please check them out. We did not post bad fics for you to read. We also did not post them just for our own good. Please look at our advice and use them. Not only are we authors, but we are fellow readers.
I know this may sound big of me, but it's true. Every author wants his work to be looked at and to be critiqued. No author is ever satisfied with there work, even if you think it's perfect. This is why you must give him your input, because many good authors have quit because they felt there work was under appreciated. It is best if you take the minutes it takes to review, compared to the hours it took them to post the fic hat you enjoyed.
Thank you to these 6 reviewers.
Vash: Glad you like this chapter. Overall, I think I finally got what I wanted for this fic in the last chapter. So now all that's left is the wild ride ahead. Also, you are important to Love Hina, your one of the better authors and you tend to be one of the most common reviewers.
Knights: Hey, back again, back again. Glad you like the sword of hope, I actually added it at the last second because I realized there was a big fucking plot hole to fill and this should take care of it. Likely, I would have preferred a cooler sounding weapon.
Kei: Mot/Kei again, ah well. Just hang on for the ride and try to enjoy it. Not making any promises to anyone who reads this about who Keitaro or anyone else is ending up with. That is for me to know and you to find out through my literary abilities. Also, I'm glad for your second review to this story.
Shigure: Don't worry, you'll see more. Thanks for the compliment as well.
Gotenks: Wow, you wrote a long and detailed review that told me a lot of information. Thank you so much. That's exactly what I was looking for. Thanks for all your input and hopefully other people will catch on to your style.
Android: Glad you like it, and I plan to update often in the next few weeks. As for the overall length, it'll probably be 30-40 chapters overall. Which will be somewhere around 100,000 words, maybe nearing 120,000.
Ok, on to the fic, which I actually am getting to you rather quickly.
Chapter 5 - Back to Good
"Flight 202 from Tokyo to Beijing and on to Ulan Bator will be departing shortly. All persons who sit in rows 10 through 27 please check your bags and board the plane now." This voice snapped Keitaro out of his meditation, which was a little weird, considering he was in the middle of an airport.
"That sword really mean something to you, doesn't it Keitaro." Seta said as he watched Keitaro come to with the sword resting in his palms.
"More then I thought it would, the feeling of the ki gives me a connection I haven't felt before, as if this sword was made for me." Keitaro's voice faded as his eyes began to focus on the sword and his mind began to chant the word "Ki" repeatedly inside his head. Growing stronger and causing himself to lose all focus.
Keitaro then felt a hand on his shoulder, he looked up to Seta who was now grabbing his bags and lifting Keitaro to his feet. "Come on now, we need to get going. You can see the sword when we get to Mongolia." Keitaro nodded as he set the sword into his bag and zipped it up. They handed there bags to the flight attendant who checked there bags. Then the two of them walked onto the plane, where there next journey would await them.
************
Naru's eyes slowly opened and took in her current location. She was back inside her room, her Liddo-chan sitting next to her head. 'Kitsune-san must have helped me up here last night; I should thank her for everything she has done for me.' Naru sat up, and felt her back creak as her body adjusted to the rapid movement. She stretched herself out and climbed out of bed.
"That's odd, I feel much better today," she said to no one in particular. She got up and walked out of her room, where she became face to face with a black cat.
"AEIIIIIIIIIII," Naru screamed as she jumped backwards, tripping and falling in the process. She rolled and came to rest on her futon. She looked up at the invader to her home, not sure of what to make of it. Looking at the cat sitting there on the floor, her eyes came to rest on a pair of feet. As her eyes moved upward she saw a young girl with black hair. She had never seen this girl before and was quite peeved that she was in here without asking. Already upset about Keitaro leaving just the day before, she was in no mood to deal with new people.
"What do you think your doing here, this is a private residence and you are far to young to be friends with Kitsune, so why are you inside of this house." The young part was very true; she appeared to be around the age of 18 or 19 while Naru was now 21 and Kitsune had turned 23 just a few months before.
The girl stared at Naru and smirked at her, and the smirk had no hint of friendship behind it. "I should have known it would take a girl like you to chase of my Oni-san." Kanoko just continued to stare at Naru with a piercing glare as she continued. "You just made him leave and forget about this entire house, and now that the rest of them have gone to look for him, you sit here and sulk."
Naru's rage continued to build, and the next comment snapped her already stretched will. "You just toyed with his emotions, and never had any caring for him at all." That did it for Naru; she took two quick steps over to the unsuspecting girl and slapped her across the face with all the strength her fatigued body could muster.
"You have no idea what your talking about, how would you know what's been going on here anyway." The girls head slowly returned to its normal position after being tossed around by Naru's forceful blow. She still had that smirk on her face, as if she knew everything that had, was and is going to happen. It definitely didn't make Naru feel any better. "Maybe I don't Naru, but you'll have to prove it to me before I'll let you off the hook."
The girl walked down the hall, and ended the current argument with one final comment. "By the way, the names Kanoko, and I'm Keitaro's sister and he means more to me then you could ever know." With that she left for the stairway, leaving Naru in her room.
"Great, more shit continues to pile up against me," was all Naru thought as she went back inside her room, and prepared for the day of hell ahead of her.
************
'Sempai, why did you leave the others?' 'Was it really Naru who drove you away, or is it more then that?' 'Maybe I am to blame in this situation as well?' Shinobu kept thinking these thoughts over and over, how could she not though. Her personality had always been very self conscious and her love for Keitaro had left her venerable.
The others thoughts were just as jumbled and betraying of there feelings for him. None of them cared anymore though, they knew that the man that they loved was away from them, and they needed to get him back. They all had the same unspoken omniscient feeling looming over there heads as well.
Even Su had this feeling and she just focused on flying the plane to Tokyo, focused on saving her "brother". This made her become very calm, as if she were building up her energy inside her to whether a coming storm or some other force.
The one who might have been affected the most though, was Motoko, who just stared into space. She held onto her sword as she kept replaying her dream in her mind. How could she possibly deal with something like that if that actually came to be?
Motoko then felt a slight burst of ki registering in her brain, she looked down and saw it was coming right for where they were going, Tokyo International Airport. This burst of ki registered with her again, this time though, it had shifted slightly.
"Something's wrong, I can feel something in disarray down there." Motoko continued to focus on the airport as the other passengers came out of there daze. Shinobu and Mitsumi rushed over next to her and looked down at the airport.
"Nothing appears wrong to me," said Shinobu, with a slight bit of doubt it her voice. Then she saw it, two swirling forms of ki. It was very faint for her, mostly because she had only gotten light practice in reading ki, but she could make it out.
It appeared to her as if there were two pulsing energies, both of them apparently sentient. Both of them also seemed to slowly change form, as if they were trying to match each other. What Shinobu couldn't figure out though was why Motoko was so nervous.
"Motoko, I see it but what is going on that puts you on edge," was all Shinobu could ask. Motoko simply looked at her, a distant and drained look in her eyes.
"Simple, that energy you are sensing is none other then your sempai's, only it has been warped since we last saw him." This was all Motoko said before turning and taking her seat in the plane. She then pushed herself deep into thought, and was oblivious to the world.
Shinobu on the other hand was flipping out to put it lightly. "Sempai, don't change, I just want my sempai to be okay." Shinobu was almost reduced to tears at that thought, and she knelt down to keep herself from fainting.
Mitsumi walked over and sat next to Shinobu, then put her arm over the young women's shoulder. "Don't worry about him, Keitaro always manages to pull out of every situation perfectly fine and keeps us safe as well." This brought up memories for the both of them, and Shinobu lost it. She began to cry into Mitsumi's shoulder, with her tears streaming down her cheeks and Mitsumi's shirt.
Mitsumi just held her as she looked down at the airport they were fast approaching. "Keitaro, please be ok, even I am worried in you at this point." "Something feels far too amiss for this to be another adventure."
They began there decent, all the while hoping they could catch Keitaro in time.
***************
"Keitaro, you all set?" asked Seta as he took his seat next to Keitaro.
"Yeah, I'm ready to get this adventure started." Keitaro didn't sound totally convinced though, and all the while he kept looking out the window. Just then the plane began to taxi out to the runway, and they aligned themselves so they can takeoff. The seatbelt lights flip on as the engines begin to whir.
All the while Keitaro keeps watching out the window as the plane begins to gather speed. The sound of the engines is now deafening as the world whips by. Then, time slows for Keitaro as he notices a small plane landing on the runway next to his. Piloting it is none other then Su.
Upon further examination he sees Motoko, Mitsumi, Sarah, and Shinobu all aboard the plane. Then time accelerates as the plane leaves the ground, leaving his friends long behind him.
"Su, Sarah, Motoko, Mitsumi, Shinobu..." was all Keitaro muttered as he watches them vanish from sight. The entire city begins to shrink as they fly higher into the sky, leaving his past life behind him.
'I'm sorry,' was all he thought as he left them behind 'but I need to do this to restructure my life, or else the Keitaro you know will be gone forever.'
End Chapter 5
Next Chapter: Kryptonite
Now that he was alone, he could examine his sword once more. The feeling pulsed out to him again. The perfect balance between yin and yang, which molded into his very being. He then held the sword before him, and he could see his entire path which lay before him. From his strengths to his weaknesses, to his friends and enemies. Most disturbing of all though, was the bright light which illuminated the path that his dreams followed.
Nick: Hey, how'd you like it?
Kitsune: I didn't have any lines this chapter, how could you do that to me.
Nick: Uh, I told you during contract negotiations that this was a smaller fic for you. Why are you so surprised?
Kitsune: Would have helped if you hadn't gotten me drunk before those so called contract negotiations.
Nick: Eh, well, excuse me.
A/N: Hey out of the story world now, just want to say that this fic has been moving along at a reasonable pace. Not fast by any measure but time has been scarce for me. Just hope that you're enjoying yourselves and that you continue to R and R.
Kanoko: Hey Nick
Nick: Gah, what the fuck are you doing here?
Kanoko: Someone else gave you the idea to include me so they can keep me both inside and outside the story world.
Nick: Yeah, ok, so, why are you here.
Kanoko: Just wanted to make sure I'm ending up with my Oni-chan.
Nick: Uh, about that, you're gonna be much less evil in this to make sure you don't destroy my fic in the process. (Grabs remote)
Kanoko: No stop...
Nick: Too late (flips dial from 7 to 2)
Kanoko: No, I'm OOC now.
Nick: Yep, and now you're my character and you're inside the story until I let you back out.
Enough of this, on to the recommendations
The Kiss That Never Was by Paul T1 This is one of the classics in the R section; I'm sure most of you have read it. If not, do yourself a favor and read it. 4.8/5
To Be a Warrior or a Women by Gotenks01013 This is written by the same Gotenks that read my fic so here's a shout out to you. Your fic is doing well and hope that it continues to chug along. 3.9/5
How Close is It? By Lifelessdummy/Grandmoff
This is a fic from Shoujoai.net that was one of the great ones there, and now we have it. It's the start of a great series and the best shoujoai I have read. It's one of the best pairings as well with Motoko and Shinobu, both being great characters. If you want to know how it goes just pop on over and check out the Love Hina section. 4.6/5
That's all for today, so see you next week or whenever I take the time to update. Should be soon though; want 2 updates before I go to Italy next Wednesday.