Title: The Perfect Gift FICLET

Author: Lawrence Payne Xander, Willow.

Timeline: BtVS Season 6: Anytime before Hells Bells.

Setting: The Magic Box on Valentines Day.

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I own nothing. A whole slew of other people own these characters and concepts.

FYI: Words in 'Italics' are used to indicate internal thought, words said out loud use regular " ".

Comments: Constructive feedback is always appreciated. :)

Archiving: If you want to, sure. Feel free. Just tell me if you do.

Summary: Xander never seems to learn his lesson.

"Xander?" a stunned Willow asked after entering the Magic Box, "What's going on?"

"Willow!" a near frantic Xander yelled. He reached out, grabbed Willow by her wrist, and pulled her further into the room. "You're here! You gotta help me! This is not what it looks like! Well it is! But it isn't! Kind of! If Anya finds out...?"

"Xander! Calm down." Willow commanded as she freed her wrist from his ever tightening grip, "Take a deep breath, and tell me what happened."

Xander did as he was instructed and began. "I was looking for the perfect gift for Anya, and I had no idea what to get her. How do you shop for a 1000-year-old ex-vengeance demon? I saw this spell in one of the books for creating a perfect evening. It seemed simple enough. A few Latin words, some stuff from the store. So I gave it a try."

"Xand baby!" Jenna Jameson purred, "When can we go to your place?"

If you don't count the 4-inch-high, patent leather, black, platform pumps she was wearing, Jenna was completely naked. She rested her chin on Xander's left shoulder, and traced his ear with her index finger.

"Yeah Sweetie!" an equally clothes-less and also high-heeled Tera Patrick cooed, "I can't wait to get you in bed." Tera coiled on Xander's right arm and began rubbing his stomach.

"That's when they showed up," Xander said as he gestured in the direction of the two porn stars.

"The Hephaestus Creation of Bliss spell?"

Xander nodded yes.

"That spell reads your mind and gives you your perfect evening."

"I know that... Now."

Willow gave her best friend since grade school 'The Look'; the one Xander has seen way too often. The look of total disapproval.

"Will?" Xander begged as he stepped away from the two women, "Please. I'm a bad person. I'm scum. I'm below scum. I don't deserve to have you as a friend. Little Help?" He said the 'little help' part in his best little boy voice.

Willow let out a long sigh. She rubbed the palm of her hand on her right cheek while she contemplated her options.

'If I break the spell,' she thought, 'It'll save his butt. But, if I do that, I'll have to put up with Anya for who knows how long. If I don't break the spell, Anya will find out, she'll dump him, and I'll never have to see or speak to her again. But, if I do that Xander will be hurt, and he'll never speak to me again.'

Willow took another look at Xander and his two magically created love toys. She watched as Jenna and Tera returned to his side, renewing their loving admiration. Just then, the sound of a door being opened in the back room was heard. Anya was coming in to open the shop. Xander made one last plea with his eyes. Willow made her decision.

She waved her hand at the two women and said, "Onumey Latisit, Liberati May Ya."

The two nymphs made one last lust-filled plea as they slowly disappeared. The spell was broken.

"WILL! YOU ARE THE BEST!" Xander elated. He ran over to his best friend and attempted to give her a hug.

"Xander," an obviously irritated Willow stated as she held up her hands to block the hug. "Next time. Just get her some chocolates."

"Right. Chocolates. Got it."

END