Chapter 5 – Let Me Tell You A Secret

Since the day on the Quidditch pitch, Harry and Draco opened up to each other more and more. The two boys had very much in common and they talked about almost everything, including the death of Sirius. Harry was surprised to find that talking to Draco helped him as much as it did. Harry started to feel the space in his heart that was left when Sirius died being filled. But Harry, being slightly clueless, couldn't figure out what was filling that space. But there were still some secrets that they had and neither of them was sure exactly how to tell the other...

The Gryffindor common room was quiet and glowing with soft light. Harry and Draco were playing Wizard's Chess and Harry was losing quite badly.

"Draco, this is the fifth game we've played and the fifth game I've lost," Harry whined in annoyance.

"What can I say? I am the master of chess," Draco replied jokingly. "Besides, I have to beat you at something."

Harry laughed and punched Draco lightly in the arm. "Git. Let's do something different," Harry said, moving onto the couch and sitting next to Draco.

"Like what?"

"I dunno. Let's just talk."

"I think we've covered every possible topic of conversation in the past few weeks, don't you?" Draco joked again. Inside, he hoped that Harry would bring up why he was at the castle for the summer again. Draco was ready to open up to Harry. In fact, he wanted to, but he didn't know how to approach the subject.

Harry looked thoughtful for a moment, and then he laughed. "We could always talk about Ron's favorite topic."

"Wait let me guess...girls?" Draco noticed Harry blush at the comment.

'Oh no! Not girls,' Harry thought in an absolute panic. 'Then I'll have to tell him I'm gay!'

"Does the incredibly sought-after Harry potter not want to talk about his love life?" Draco teased.

"No. Not really. Actually, not at all."

"Aww come on! I'd love to hear about it."

"Okay, okay I'll tell you. But you have to tell me something about you – something really secret – if I'm gonna tell you this."

"What do you want to know?" Draco asked. 'Please let him ask why I'm here,' Draco thought, hoping whatever deity was in charge of these kinds of things would hear him. 'Please please please.'

"Well...oh I don't know if you're going to want to tell me about this." Harry looked suddenly uncertain and apologetic.

"You want to know why I'm here for the summer, right?"

Harry looked rather surprised that Draco knew just what he was going to ask and nodded.

"I'm ready to tell you. I wanted to actually but I just didn't know how to bring up the subject." Draco paused for a moment before starting again. "But you have to share first. I won't let you get out of this! And I want details." Draco smiled slyly. This had to be good otherwise Harry wouldn't be turning a lovely shade of crimson.

"Well I really don't have a love life to speak of. I liked Cho in fourth and fifth year. Actually I think it was more of feeling bad for her about Cedric and less of me actually liking her. I kissed her once. That's all there is to know really."

Draco frowned. "What's got you blushing then!"

"Oh. Uh." Harry had no idea what to say. He definitely did not want to tell Draco that he was gay. What if he thought it was disgusting? Then Harry would lose the only friend he had at the moment. Harry tried to weasel his way out of it. "Well...it's not very important," Harry said blushing even more.

"Come on Harry. Tell me!"

Sighing, Harry averted his eyes and said, "Draco...I...um...I'm not quite sure how to say this. I haven't said it out loud before."

"Just take a deep breath and say it fast."

"Okay. Here goes." Harry breathed then quickly said "Ihaven'thadanygirlfriendsbecauseIlikeboys." 'You in particular,' he added in his head.

Draco looked at Harry in disbelief. He couldn't be hearing correctly. Certainly Harry wasn't gay? Draco's look changed into a smile. There was hope after all. "So you're gay?"

Harry nodded slowly, not sure what to make of Draco's reaction.

"And that's what you were blushing about?"

Harry nodded again and looked up at Draco.

"Come on Harry that's nothing to blush about! I mean, it's completely normal."

"Maybe wizards think its okay but Muggles certainly don't. I thought wizards would see it the same way Muggles do."

"Oh. Well that's a good reason to be embarrassed about it. Your uncle probably hates gays right?"

"Yeah. A lot."

"Well we have another thing in common now." Draco paused, waiting to see if Harry understood what he meant. By the look on Harry's face it was obvious he didn't. "Harry. I'm gay too."

Harry looked shocked. "I never would have thought that...I mean you...I..."

Draco laughed good-naturedly. "You didn't think you were the only one did you! Of course there are other gay people out there."

Harry was still processing everything. Draco was gay. He liked Draco. Maybe Draco liked him...

"Hello! Harry!" Draco said, waving his hand in front of Harry's face.

"Oh sorry. I was just...thinking." They were silent for a moment, and then something suddenly occurred to Harry. "Does that have anything to do with why you are here for the summer?"

"Um...partly yes." Draco paused, looking somewhat uncomfortable. "I'll tell you everything from the beginning."

Harry gave Draco an encouraging nod and decided not to say anything until Draco finished.

"First I should tell you that I no longer have a father, not in my mind at least. And in Lucius' mind I am no longer his son." Draco paused for a moment before continuing. "After what happened at the Ministry at the end of term, Lucius was put in Azkaban. That night, Voldemort helped him and the other Death Eaters escape. He returned home and told me that I was going to receive the Dark Mark right away as payment to Voldemort for saving him from the prison. I didn't want anything to do with Voldemort so I refused Lucius' order. He became very angry with me, took my wand, and used the Cruciatus Curse on me. Then he tried to cast the Imperius Curse on me but I fought it off. He was about to cast the Cruciatus Curse again but I apparated first. I went to Diagon Alley and got a room at the Leaky Cauldron with the last bit of money I had. I owled Dumbledore and told him that I needed to see him because I was in danger. I received an owl from both he and Lucius. Dumbledore wanted to meet with me the next morning. Lucius said I was no longer his son and no longer a Malfoy. He had gone through my things after I left and found out that I am gay. He said I was disgusting and that when he got his hands on me he would make me Voldemort's whore. He completely disowned me. I had no money, no wand, and the only clothes I had were the ones I was wearing."

Draco looked at Harry, tears silently rolling down his cheeks. Harry moved to Draco and took him in his arms to comfort him. After a few moments, Draco situated himself in Harry's lap and continued.

"Dumbledore came to see me the next morning. I told him what had happened and that I wanted to fight for the Light. I was tired of being neutral and helpless. Dumbledore had me join the Order. Most of the members didn't trust me so I agreed to take Veritaserum. They learned more than they wanted to know. They decided that I would need somewhere safe to stay because they believed I would be a target of Voldemort. I moved into Hogwarts for the summer. Everyone was so generous. They gave me clothes, money, bought me a new wand, and offered their friendship. They had to leave me soon after I moved in though. I was safe but I was alone. That is, until you came. I was afraid that you would hate me and not want to stay, but you didn't. That still amazes me. After all the crap I put you and your friends through you were still willing to be my friend. I couldn't believe it then and I still have trouble believing it now. No one has ever done that for me Harry."

Draco started crying again, relieved to have everything off his chest. Harry hugged him close once more, rubbing his back and trying to soothe him. As Draco took refuge in Harry's arms, Harry had to fight the urge to kiss away Draco's tears. "Shhhh Draco. It's okay. I'm here for you and I always will be."

Harry felt Draco's body shake gently. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you before."

"You didn't know. No one did. It's not your fault," Draco said through his tears.

Harry held Draco until he stopped crying. Draco was quiet for a moment and then Harry realized that the Slytherin had fallen asleep. Harry kept holding Draco and soon fell asleep as well.