Motivations
By the Shadower
A One Shot
Feedback: Yes please, this is my first try at an Angel fic.
Rating: PG-13 (Uses F-word. Nothing else, just that.)
Summary: A vignette/character study/drabble whatever. Wesley may have a different motive for sheltering Illyria than everyone thinks.
AN: Just a short piece, focusing on dark Wesley. Very dark, and I like Illyria so that may show up.
"People don't know me. They think they do, but they don't."
-Ted Bundy, famous serial killer
They were all wrong about his motives. Oh, they thought they knew. They thought he was taking care of Illyria because she looked like Fred, or because she was new to this world, or because he was trying to make a fucking statement about mercy and forgiving.
They thought to themselves, he knew, about how terrible it must be to loose the woman you love, and all the trauma he must be going through. They thought nothing could be more horrible for him than Fred's death.
They were wrong.
The truly horrible thing was that he wasn't paralyzed, wasn't grief stricken, wasn't even really fucking sad. He was sorry, he supposed, and he wished she hadn't died, but when he looked for the huge tidal wave of grief over her death, searched for it in the basest recesses of his mind...
It simply wasn't there.
Had he truly loved Fred? Or had he been on the rebound, a prolonged rebound that lasted months, from the one he'd really loved, Lilah?
Could he really say he was sorry Illyria was here, that he didn't love having her around, that she didn't, in some twisted sadistic way... remind him of himself?
Yes, he thinks, Illyria reminds him of himself, almost as much as Lilah had, and did Fred ever? Even once?
No.
In a moment, Illyria will come in. She'll inform him he's still grieving for Fred, and he'll want to tell her the truth. He'll want to tell her...
But he will remain silent.
AN: Deliberately dark, PLEASE review, even if it's just to say it sucks. My first try at an Angel fic, just let me know if I got the world right.
By the Shadower
A One Shot
Feedback: Yes please, this is my first try at an Angel fic.
Rating: PG-13 (Uses F-word. Nothing else, just that.)
Summary: A vignette/character study/drabble whatever. Wesley may have a different motive for sheltering Illyria than everyone thinks.
AN: Just a short piece, focusing on dark Wesley. Very dark, and I like Illyria so that may show up.
"People don't know me. They think they do, but they don't."
-Ted Bundy, famous serial killer
They were all wrong about his motives. Oh, they thought they knew. They thought he was taking care of Illyria because she looked like Fred, or because she was new to this world, or because he was trying to make a fucking statement about mercy and forgiving.
They thought to themselves, he knew, about how terrible it must be to loose the woman you love, and all the trauma he must be going through. They thought nothing could be more horrible for him than Fred's death.
They were wrong.
The truly horrible thing was that he wasn't paralyzed, wasn't grief stricken, wasn't even really fucking sad. He was sorry, he supposed, and he wished she hadn't died, but when he looked for the huge tidal wave of grief over her death, searched for it in the basest recesses of his mind...
It simply wasn't there.
Had he truly loved Fred? Or had he been on the rebound, a prolonged rebound that lasted months, from the one he'd really loved, Lilah?
Could he really say he was sorry Illyria was here, that he didn't love having her around, that she didn't, in some twisted sadistic way... remind him of himself?
Yes, he thinks, Illyria reminds him of himself, almost as much as Lilah had, and did Fred ever? Even once?
No.
In a moment, Illyria will come in. She'll inform him he's still grieving for Fred, and he'll want to tell her the truth. He'll want to tell her...
But he will remain silent.
AN: Deliberately dark, PLEASE review, even if it's just to say it sucks. My first try at an Angel fic, just let me know if I got the world right.