Chapter 9
Phoebe was sat in the back of the jeep, she was so different, and nothing like this morning she was as far away from Jason as possible. He reached out his hand to place it on hers but she pulled away, her eyes fixed on her shacking hand she brought it up to her head and placed her pounding head on it. Jason was extremely conserved as he noticed tears silently role down her face as she rocked back and forth.
"Come on baby, calm down." He tried, Phoebe never spoke just continued to rock back and forth, "Don't tell me what to do!" she said barely audible and then she looked up and screamed, "Don't tell me what to do and how to act...you can't, not now." Jason was taken aback, speechless; he had no idea how to react.
Luckily Prue had just turned onto Prescott Street, she pulled the jeep into the driveway, as soon as it stopped Phoebe got out and walked up to the house mumbling to herself. Jason pushed his hand through his hair and sighed, Prue turned around to him, "what's going on..." she asked, Jason shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. I think seeing Greg hit you today piper hit her hard." Piper nodded, "Yeah." "I spoke to the doctor before I came out the hospital, she has low blood sugar that's why she collapsed she hasn't been eating." "What?" Jason asked, Prue looked at the floor, "Jason don't let her know that we know, just watch out for her." Jason nodded, "Do you mind if I go see how she is, or do you want to take it?" he asked, "You go and see I'll make something for us to eat." Piper said, not letting Prue answer, with this Jason nodded and left.
He walked up the stairs of the manor and stopped out side Phoebe's room, he hared her crying and his heart instantly broke, he raped on the door twice and in receiving no answer let himself in, "Pheebs can I come in?" He asked, he saw Phoebe lying on the bed, her back to the door, her body trembled with each passing, heart wrenching cry. He walked over and got onto the bed lying next to her he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as she cried.
Phoebe hared him come in, but when he asked the question she was unsure of the answer, did she want him to see her like that? It was too late, she thought as she felt him lie next to her on the bed. It wasn't until his arms wrapped around her and his hands locked with hers near her stomach that she was sure, she wanted him there, and she needed him there.
After half an hour of this Phoebe's cries subsided, she felt as Jason's protective hold was so strong, they had something everlasting, she knew that and so did he, they had been through so much and they had something that none others had.
She slowly turned to face him, they lay face to face on the bed, he looked into her deep brown eyes they were so scared, so lost. Jason took her hands in his and held them tight to his chest. "Phoebe, talk to me" Phoebe looked into his eyes, "...I don't know what to say" her still fresh tears rolled down her cheeks, "Tell me what's wrong..." "I'm scared...Jason I'm losing it again." Phoebe held his hand tighter, "...today in that car...one minuet I'm okay...and then the next, bang. I lose it, it's like I don't have any control over what I do. It's like something takes over. I don't want it to be like before. I like what I have Know, you and my sisters, I don't want it to be like before." "I won't let that happen! I promise." Jason reassured her, "Phoebe what happened today, why did you collapse. You never told me what the doctor said?" He asked, wanting her to confirm what Prue had told him. Phoebe broke eye contact, "I...it was low blood sugar. It's just...I haven't been eating a lot lately." That was it, Jason now knew that what Prue told him was correct, "Why?" he asked simply; Phoebe placed her head on his shoulder as she turned on her back, he did the same putting his hand behind her neck pulling her close.
Phoebe stayed like this for a few seconds, then she began to talk, "It's the only that I have control over, I just ... wouldn't eat and... each day it got harder, each day I resisted it the stronger I felt because it took strength." She explained. Jason was in shock. He draped his arm across her stomach, "You can talk to me you know Phoebe, stuff like this you don't have to hide."
After a minuet passed, out of the silence that had consumed them, her voice spoke, it was filled with pain and emotion, "I had a dream last night...you asked how I slept and I told you it wasn't good, I had the annual nightmare but after that I had a dream..." she paused for a second and took a deep breath, "It was my mom, she had her back to me, I could see her long brown hair, but when I called to her she turned around and her face was blanch. I couldn't remember what she looked like. I couldn't remember what she looked like..." Jason cut in, "Phoebe, you'll never forget the memories of your mom..." "that's just it..." she explained, "I have none to forget, she died when I was two. I don't remember anything." Phoebe turned on her side resting her head between his shoulder and chest, "I don't know why I just told you that" she said "You can tell me anything. Tell me everything." He replied. Once again there was a moment of silence and like before Phoebe was the one to break the silence. "Do you promise you won't let me lose it?" she asked, "I promise. I love you Phoebe." "I love you to Jas" "Promise me one thing though" he asked, "You will eat properly." Phoebe nodded her head, "Deal" she answered. "And you'll when we wake up with some dinner."
Half an hour later they were still lying in each others arms, Phoebe's arms were open, "Can't sleep?" he finally asked, "Know I ..." she stopped, "Today, I would have killed him, I don't know what came over me. At the beach I was fine but when I saw him hit Piper and kick her over and over I lost it. I love them so much, even when they weren't around before I always loved them." "You just wanted to protect them it's who you are" Phoebe shook her head, "I don't know who I am anymore. Today when I lost it in that car, I'm a different person; I can't control what I do." "Phoebe you know that I'm there for you no matter what but do you think maybe you should tell you're sisters, they can help. Phoebe was once again silent in thought; "Maybe!" she eventually managed.
The sun rose on the manor as the next morning turned around. Phoebe walked out of the shower and back into her room, brushing her hair, where Jason was on the phone, "...yeah, sure. What? Man I can't..." Jason noticed Phoebe walk in, "speak to you later." He put the Phone down, "Who was that?" she asked she was wearing a pair of blue jeans with a tight with t-shirt, she felt a bit better after having a shower just like Jason had said she would.
"Mark. He was wondering if you were going to that party tonight." Phoebe looked at him, "I don't think that's a good idea, what happens if I lose it and try and kill him again. Until I get hold of this, and I'm sure that I'm not going mad no parties for me." Jason nodded his head, and then stood to his feet, and walked around to Phoebe, her wrapped his arms around her waist, "Well, because we didn't go down and eat dinner last night..." "Big breakfast I know" Phoebe finished for him, she looked into his eyes, "Last night I had the best sleep ever, I never had that nightmare, for the first time since the accident, I never had it. I felt so safe." Jason smiled, and pulled her close to him, "You are safe with me" he told her, then he kissed her on the lips, a small kiss that reassured her, he was there. Phoebe smiled, "So what about that breakfast?" she said, he wrapped his arm around her back and walked out of the room towards the kitchen.
Just as Phoebe got to the bottom of the stairs she pulled Jason back, and she took a deep breath, something felt wired. "Are you okay?" he asked, "...yeah just a..." Phoebe couldn't place her finger on it, "You're sister's will be fine. Trust me." Phoebe nodded, "Ready." "Yeah" With this they turned the corner and walked through, Phoebe instantly stopped in her tracks; her hand tightened its grip on Jason's hand and gasped, Piper stood up from the table when she saw Phoebe enter, both of the oldest sisters didn't know how Phoebe would act. "Hello Phoebe" The woman's voice was confident, she had a sympathetic smile on her face. Phoebe never answered, she just looked at the face she used to see as her protector, this woman had brought her up, but now she felt nothing but anger towards her.
"Phoebe, we called Grams at the hospital yesterday..." Prue explained, "...Why? What the hell made you think that I wanted that?" she shouted, It was Piper who now attempted to speak, "Phoebe we thought that you were going to die." Phoebe nodded and then looked back at Penny, "Well, I'm not going to die so you can go back to where ever it is you were" surprisingly her voice was calm.
Penny was extremely taken back by Phoebe's response; she stood to her feet, "Phoebe Marie Halliwell. I'm your grand mother don't speak..." her tone was stern, Phoebe remembered when she respected that voice, feared that tone but today nothing. Phoebe let go of Jason's hand and stepped forward unable to keep herself under control she broke into laughter, "Who the hell are you second naming? You are only here because you thought that I was going to die." Phoebe had a smirk on her face and she looked square into Penny's eyes, he voice rose past a shout, "DISSAPOINTED?" Penny couldn't believe how disrespectful Phoebe was been, "Don't talk to me like that" Penny shouted, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Phoebe shouted louder, looked at the floor "She's trying to tell me what top do." She screamed. "Young lady I have know idea what's got into you but you need to control that temper" Phoebe looked up at Penny, a gleam in her eye, "Control my temper..." Phoebe repeated barely audio able then she screamed, "What temper this on! Don't think you can be here now, and everything can be like before, it can't. I have been through more than you know..."
"Phoebe you are 18 what could you have been through..." Penny asked her voice angered, Phoebe lost it big time, "Firstly I'm 19 going on 20 and how about been responsible for the death of your friends, three attempted overdoses, mental depression, been emotionally messed up, nearly beating mark to death and then nearly knifing Piper's crazed boyfriend yesterday" she stopped and looked into the understandably shocked eyes of penny and screamed, "Have I been through enough..."
Phoebe was sat in the back of the jeep, she was so different, and nothing like this morning she was as far away from Jason as possible. He reached out his hand to place it on hers but she pulled away, her eyes fixed on her shacking hand she brought it up to her head and placed her pounding head on it. Jason was extremely conserved as he noticed tears silently role down her face as she rocked back and forth.
"Come on baby, calm down." He tried, Phoebe never spoke just continued to rock back and forth, "Don't tell me what to do!" she said barely audible and then she looked up and screamed, "Don't tell me what to do and how to act...you can't, not now." Jason was taken aback, speechless; he had no idea how to react.
Luckily Prue had just turned onto Prescott Street, she pulled the jeep into the driveway, as soon as it stopped Phoebe got out and walked up to the house mumbling to herself. Jason pushed his hand through his hair and sighed, Prue turned around to him, "what's going on..." she asked, Jason shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. I think seeing Greg hit you today piper hit her hard." Piper nodded, "Yeah." "I spoke to the doctor before I came out the hospital, she has low blood sugar that's why she collapsed she hasn't been eating." "What?" Jason asked, Prue looked at the floor, "Jason don't let her know that we know, just watch out for her." Jason nodded, "Do you mind if I go see how she is, or do you want to take it?" he asked, "You go and see I'll make something for us to eat." Piper said, not letting Prue answer, with this Jason nodded and left.
He walked up the stairs of the manor and stopped out side Phoebe's room, he hared her crying and his heart instantly broke, he raped on the door twice and in receiving no answer let himself in, "Pheebs can I come in?" He asked, he saw Phoebe lying on the bed, her back to the door, her body trembled with each passing, heart wrenching cry. He walked over and got onto the bed lying next to her he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as she cried.
Phoebe hared him come in, but when he asked the question she was unsure of the answer, did she want him to see her like that? It was too late, she thought as she felt him lie next to her on the bed. It wasn't until his arms wrapped around her and his hands locked with hers near her stomach that she was sure, she wanted him there, and she needed him there.
After half an hour of this Phoebe's cries subsided, she felt as Jason's protective hold was so strong, they had something everlasting, she knew that and so did he, they had been through so much and they had something that none others had.
She slowly turned to face him, they lay face to face on the bed, he looked into her deep brown eyes they were so scared, so lost. Jason took her hands in his and held them tight to his chest. "Phoebe, talk to me" Phoebe looked into his eyes, "...I don't know what to say" her still fresh tears rolled down her cheeks, "Tell me what's wrong..." "I'm scared...Jason I'm losing it again." Phoebe held his hand tighter, "...today in that car...one minuet I'm okay...and then the next, bang. I lose it, it's like I don't have any control over what I do. It's like something takes over. I don't want it to be like before. I like what I have Know, you and my sisters, I don't want it to be like before." "I won't let that happen! I promise." Jason reassured her, "Phoebe what happened today, why did you collapse. You never told me what the doctor said?" He asked, wanting her to confirm what Prue had told him. Phoebe broke eye contact, "I...it was low blood sugar. It's just...I haven't been eating a lot lately." That was it, Jason now knew that what Prue told him was correct, "Why?" he asked simply; Phoebe placed her head on his shoulder as she turned on her back, he did the same putting his hand behind her neck pulling her close.
Phoebe stayed like this for a few seconds, then she began to talk, "It's the only that I have control over, I just ... wouldn't eat and... each day it got harder, each day I resisted it the stronger I felt because it took strength." She explained. Jason was in shock. He draped his arm across her stomach, "You can talk to me you know Phoebe, stuff like this you don't have to hide."
After a minuet passed, out of the silence that had consumed them, her voice spoke, it was filled with pain and emotion, "I had a dream last night...you asked how I slept and I told you it wasn't good, I had the annual nightmare but after that I had a dream..." she paused for a second and took a deep breath, "It was my mom, she had her back to me, I could see her long brown hair, but when I called to her she turned around and her face was blanch. I couldn't remember what she looked like. I couldn't remember what she looked like..." Jason cut in, "Phoebe, you'll never forget the memories of your mom..." "that's just it..." she explained, "I have none to forget, she died when I was two. I don't remember anything." Phoebe turned on her side resting her head between his shoulder and chest, "I don't know why I just told you that" she said "You can tell me anything. Tell me everything." He replied. Once again there was a moment of silence and like before Phoebe was the one to break the silence. "Do you promise you won't let me lose it?" she asked, "I promise. I love you Phoebe." "I love you to Jas" "Promise me one thing though" he asked, "You will eat properly." Phoebe nodded her head, "Deal" she answered. "And you'll when we wake up with some dinner."
Half an hour later they were still lying in each others arms, Phoebe's arms were open, "Can't sleep?" he finally asked, "Know I ..." she stopped, "Today, I would have killed him, I don't know what came over me. At the beach I was fine but when I saw him hit Piper and kick her over and over I lost it. I love them so much, even when they weren't around before I always loved them." "You just wanted to protect them it's who you are" Phoebe shook her head, "I don't know who I am anymore. Today when I lost it in that car, I'm a different person; I can't control what I do." "Phoebe you know that I'm there for you no matter what but do you think maybe you should tell you're sisters, they can help. Phoebe was once again silent in thought; "Maybe!" she eventually managed.
The sun rose on the manor as the next morning turned around. Phoebe walked out of the shower and back into her room, brushing her hair, where Jason was on the phone, "...yeah, sure. What? Man I can't..." Jason noticed Phoebe walk in, "speak to you later." He put the Phone down, "Who was that?" she asked she was wearing a pair of blue jeans with a tight with t-shirt, she felt a bit better after having a shower just like Jason had said she would.
"Mark. He was wondering if you were going to that party tonight." Phoebe looked at him, "I don't think that's a good idea, what happens if I lose it and try and kill him again. Until I get hold of this, and I'm sure that I'm not going mad no parties for me." Jason nodded his head, and then stood to his feet, and walked around to Phoebe, her wrapped his arms around her waist, "Well, because we didn't go down and eat dinner last night..." "Big breakfast I know" Phoebe finished for him, she looked into his eyes, "Last night I had the best sleep ever, I never had that nightmare, for the first time since the accident, I never had it. I felt so safe." Jason smiled, and pulled her close to him, "You are safe with me" he told her, then he kissed her on the lips, a small kiss that reassured her, he was there. Phoebe smiled, "So what about that breakfast?" she said, he wrapped his arm around her back and walked out of the room towards the kitchen.
Just as Phoebe got to the bottom of the stairs she pulled Jason back, and she took a deep breath, something felt wired. "Are you okay?" he asked, "...yeah just a..." Phoebe couldn't place her finger on it, "You're sister's will be fine. Trust me." Phoebe nodded, "Ready." "Yeah" With this they turned the corner and walked through, Phoebe instantly stopped in her tracks; her hand tightened its grip on Jason's hand and gasped, Piper stood up from the table when she saw Phoebe enter, both of the oldest sisters didn't know how Phoebe would act. "Hello Phoebe" The woman's voice was confident, she had a sympathetic smile on her face. Phoebe never answered, she just looked at the face she used to see as her protector, this woman had brought her up, but now she felt nothing but anger towards her.
"Phoebe, we called Grams at the hospital yesterday..." Prue explained, "...Why? What the hell made you think that I wanted that?" she shouted, It was Piper who now attempted to speak, "Phoebe we thought that you were going to die." Phoebe nodded and then looked back at Penny, "Well, I'm not going to die so you can go back to where ever it is you were" surprisingly her voice was calm.
Penny was extremely taken back by Phoebe's response; she stood to her feet, "Phoebe Marie Halliwell. I'm your grand mother don't speak..." her tone was stern, Phoebe remembered when she respected that voice, feared that tone but today nothing. Phoebe let go of Jason's hand and stepped forward unable to keep herself under control she broke into laughter, "Who the hell are you second naming? You are only here because you thought that I was going to die." Phoebe had a smirk on her face and she looked square into Penny's eyes, he voice rose past a shout, "DISSAPOINTED?" Penny couldn't believe how disrespectful Phoebe was been, "Don't talk to me like that" Penny shouted, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Phoebe shouted louder, looked at the floor "She's trying to tell me what top do." She screamed. "Young lady I have know idea what's got into you but you need to control that temper" Phoebe looked up at Penny, a gleam in her eye, "Control my temper..." Phoebe repeated barely audio able then she screamed, "What temper this on! Don't think you can be here now, and everything can be like before, it can't. I have been through more than you know..."
"Phoebe you are 18 what could you have been through..." Penny asked her voice angered, Phoebe lost it big time, "Firstly I'm 19 going on 20 and how about been responsible for the death of your friends, three attempted overdoses, mental depression, been emotionally messed up, nearly beating mark to death and then nearly knifing Piper's crazed boyfriend yesterday" she stopped and looked into the understandably shocked eyes of penny and screamed, "Have I been through enough..."